...

Without warning, Sophia jumped up in the middle of the night startled as if she had just awakened from a terrible nightmare.

Sweat was pouring down her face as she breathed heavily, she could hear her heart pounding in her hates, almost as if it desperately wanted to leave her body. "Guk!"

Then nausea flooded her almost making her vomit on the spot, her pale skin was slowly flushing and her temperature was rising relentlessly, she could almost feel her blood burning her. "GAHHH!!!"

Nemu who was sleeping next to her woke up by the sudden scream of pain, looking next to her, she saw Sophia shaking in pain as tears were falling from her face. "Sophia! What's wrong?!"

Sophia however couldn't register Nemu's voice, the pain was overwhelming all her senses, the tears continued to fall incessantly as she felt as if her very soul was splitting in two.

"Stop-" Sophia pleaded through tears. "P-Please!"

Frightened by Sophia's condition, Nemu quickly climbed off the bed and carried Sophia before running as fast as she could to the infirmary. Nemu could barely carry Sophia without falling under the weight but she still made a great effort ignoring the pain in her legs.

"Haa... Haa..."

"Hey! You! What are you doing awake-"

"I need help!"

 

---

 

Consciousness gently and quietly returned to my head, it felt like I had slept for decades as my body felt strangely heavy and my head felt very numb.

As if I had been in the same position for a long time.

It takes some time, maybe a couple of hours until I can finally muster the strength to get up, I was careful when it came to getting up as my head still felt a bit groggy and out of it.

'Maybe it's me who feels out if' I thought with mild amusement, and just lay there, sitting in the vast cold darkness that I could call a warm home, as the minutes passed my mind cleared completely....

And open my sleepy eyes.

And immediately I was closing them again when a light flooded my eyes burning them slightly.
I frowned as I ran my hands over my eyes in an attempt to relax the small but sharp pain that assaulted my eyes.

"What the-!"

That's when my senses came back to me, I wouldn't know how to describe it but it was as if her senses came back to herself after being taken away.

And my mind went blank.

The soft feel of the wind on my skin.

The constant sound of the waves of the sea.

The salty smell of the water coming in through my nose.

Oblivious to the pain, I opened my eyes again.

And there it was, calm but constantly moving.

The Ocean.

I could feel my eyes start to ache with a sharp pain, but I didn't mind at all. As my gaze remained fixed on the endless ocean in front of me.

I... saw.

I-

Without realizing it my eyes began to form rivers down my face, I didn't know if it was from the pain or from the overwhelming emotion that was spreading throughout my entire being. My legs felt weak and I fell to my knees and my head looked fascinated at the sensation of touching the soft white sand that covered my hands lightly.

I wanted to scream for joy but tears prevented me from doing so. Only unreadable moans came out.

I felt my heart pounding hard as various feelings gripped my chest.

I smiled even though the sun was burning my eyelids.

For the first time, I felt complete.

"Beautiful, isn't it?"

Alerted by the mysterious voice, I immediately turned around... and saw nothing.

"Who-"

"You don't have to know who I am" The voice sounded behind me, it had a cryptic and slightly familiar tone. "You already know, you just don't realize it yet."

I quickly turned my head in all directions, but failed to perceive anyone. I got up from the ground while wiping the tears from my eyes still sore from the sun's rays. "W-Who are you?"

The voice sighed audibly as if disappointed. "And here I thought this was a good place for us to chat with each other."

"You- did you?"

The voice interrupted me before I could speak "No, I wasn't the one responsible for this dream, but it was convenient for our first meeting, you have to admit it's quite beautiful isn't it?

My chest tightened slightly as I took a deep breath, my voice came out as a faint whisper, like I was being punched in the face. "...A-a dream?..."

"Of course. Did you really think you were going to magically be able to see?. What's next? A prince wearing blue naming you the love of his life while you're trapped in a tower?" the voice replied with sarcasm and irony, I could almost see a smirk in midair.

I was silent as I pondered, a somber look crossed my face as I tried to figure out where the voice was coming from, but there was nothing and no one. I realized that it was starting to get dark quickly and the beach no longer seemed as warm as it had originally been.

I alarmed myself as I looked around.

"Why do you look surprised? You already knew this from the beginning, that this place, at this time, with these circumstances was not possible, but you refuse to let go of hope, it's nice if you ask me" Spoke the voice from all directions confusing me as I spun around the place, my vision began to distort from the rapid turns and dizziness began to take over my head.

Before I knew it we were no longer on the beach, we were now in a dark autumn forest, orange and red leaves invaded every inch of the ground as the black trees watched me with resentment and ear.

My breathing began to quicken with panic and fear.

All I could do was run, no matter where, no matter with whom, just out of this forest, out of here.

The voice spoke again from above. "A dream is just a fantasy, something that is not real, a possibility that passes through our minds making us strive for a goal which we long for just like beliefs."

I gritted my teeth hard as my breath hitched by the second, the forest was getting lusher. "You don't know anything! You don't know what it is to dream and believe!"

"Fufu, are you sure about that? It's unfortunate that of all things you were selected. You have infinite opportunities, infinite possibilities only limited by you and no one else, you could burn the world to the ground, you could become its ruler, or even be God and reign over men while imposing your supreme religion on them as if you were life itself!"

Now the forest was gone, being replaced by a great burning city, I didn't know from where but I could hear the shouts of shoulders and women from different directions. The sight made me hyperventilate as I approached a nearby wall, I leaned against it as I tried to catch my breath.

The voice spoke directly into my ear, this time it sounded eerily familiar. "Everything is possible, but you don't advance, you don't improve, you don't do anything... your dreams are empty..."

Gathering what little strength I had left I gritted my teeth and shouted to the sky. "WHO ARE YOU TO DECIDE WHAT I WANT TO DREAM?! YOU ARE NO ONE TO TELL ME WHAT I CAN AND CANNOT DO!!!"

Darkness.

Suddenly the world was filled with a rotten darkness, so black and dark that the darkness itself would feel terror of itself, the air became heavy as chills constantly ran through my body. I absentmindedly realized that my feet were submerged in icy water.

"I think I have the right to decide what to believe and what not to believe."

I weakly turned my head toward the voice.....

And there I was.

The voice was me.

I was the voice.

My other self looked at me with completely expressionless eyes, they were so empty I feared my soul would be lost in them never to escape, like the punishment a sinner deserves...

It didn't feel like I was in front of a living being, she couldn't be me.

It felt like she was in front of something, and that something was not me.

She... she can't be me.

She can't.

My breathing quickened even more, I could feel the lack of air in my lungs. My blood freezing as my bones shivered in terror, panic assaulting every fiber of my brain and fear ruling over all my senses.

"Believe what you want to believe, see what you want to see, but in the end, the truth will always wander deep inside your head, haunting you at every turn, waiting to crumble at the worst possible moment, like a burden too heavy to carry" Replied my other self as I raised an eyebrow. "But if you don't even know what lie you live in then you're nothing more than a sheep blindly following a shepherd..."

"You don't-you don't have the right to decide...you can't..."

"And why not?" Asked the other me with her arms folded. "I am you, or maybe, you are me, that side of you that you never wanted to accept, that side that sees everything logically regardless of the morals of anything, that side that you repress hard to appear normal, but deep down you know it... that you are not normal..."

"That's not true!" I exclaimed as I clenched my hands tightly "If you were me and I were you we would want the same thing!"

"I want exactly the same as you" Said the other me as she stood in front of me, for some reason I felt small compared to her. "But you're just holding us back, you haven't done anything to try to achieve our goal, you don't even know who I really am, and with that pathetic resolve you want your sight back? Without even going deep into the ocean?"

Before I knew it, our surroundings had changed to an infinite sea.

But something didn't add up, everything was... very calm, serene, motionless, static.

I looked down to see how the blue of the sea was slowly being replaced by an endless darkness full of sins and eternal agony.

Poor insignificant souls trapped by their own minds, locked forever in their ways to realize that their sins had already caught up with them.

"I see you at least have an idea of where we are..." Replied the other me in my ear, I couldn't move, I was too terrified to move...help...please....

"If you want to achieve your goal, we must dive in the ocean..."

And at that moment I woke up.

 

---

 

"Are you sure about this?" asked a male voice. "Not to doubt you but... this might make her stop pursuing her goal and turn off her Desire."

"Well, I knew you were stupid but I wasn't expecting this much" Murmured a distorted voice in the boy's ear, the voice sounded like the combination between a woman's melodic voice and a man's dignified voice.

The boy flinched slightly trying to hide the anger in his voice. "What do you mean?"

The voice laughed softly, making the boy's hair stand on end. "It's like letting honey touch a bear's lips to savor the taste of it. Now, what will the bear do? Will he be satisfied with a single taste or will he desperately seek more of that tasty but dangerous honey?"

The boy thought about it for a moment and nodded, inadvertently speaking aloud. "...You're playing on the bear's greed...although this is a bit too...cruel."

The strange voice chuckled. "I told you so didn't I? To get some results you have to stimulate the test subjects a bit. Now that the honey has been tested, it only remains to watch for greed to break the bear's sack. Isn't that fun?"

"...as long as I get what I promised..."

"Don't worry, when we're done there will be nothing to hold you back I give you my word, my dazzling little glory."

...