31. The Feelings of a Scientist
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Erika Velle

As Erika finishes her work at the Anithrel Institute, she bounds her way outside as quickly as she can, eager to return to her personal lab.

She rushes into her cabin, and starts her daily journey to her sanctum.

"Aino, is there anyone at the lab?" She asks her A.I companion, her expectation apparent in her voice.

"Yes," comes the reply, "Yoru is present."

Upon hearing their  name, Erika immediately perks up, and smiles softly.

"Thank you... Aino."

As the quiet hum of the cabin moving sets in, Erika closes her eyes, and reminisces how much her life—and her perspective of the world has changed in such a short time frame.

All her life, Erika has tried to make sense of the chaotic nature of the world. Most people perceive the world based on their experiences, and emotions—while she has always tried to see things as  objectively as possible.

It may be a hard contrast to her outwards appearance, but she's done her best to view the world based on her scientific understanding, and cold hard facts. By viewing the world in such a way—it'd be easy for others to call her cold-hearted, or uncaring towards other humans. But, for a young girl forced into making merciless weapons in exchange for the continued survival of her sister, it was the only way she could find answers, or meaning in the cruelty.

Why is the world cruel? Because humans are cruel, and only the strong thrive.

Why is my sister in pain, when far more evil people live comfortably? That's because those evil ones are stronger than us, and have greater influence.

Does she believe the world is inherently cruel? No, far from it—the world doesn't enjoy the suffering of others. Even though the law of 'survival of the fittest' exists, its purpose isn't meaningless cruelty. Humans are capable of creating systems that reward kindness, cooperation, and fairness.

If we wanted to, we could build a kinder, safer, and more prosperous world. We just choose not to.

Erika's overly analytical perspective became a means of rationalizing, and coping with the parts of the world that really made no sense to her.

And by doing this, she's always been able to face that world with a fearless smile.

However, what happens to her system when anomalies begin to appear?

When strange events occur that contradict everything she knows?

Erika's cabin crawls to a slow stop in its usual spot, hidden beneath a rocky overhang. The sudden loss of momentum causes her golden eyes to flutter open.

Shaking herself awake, she grabs a duffel bag she brought with her from Anithrel's labs. As she opens the cabins door and steps outside the cool air hits her body like a refreshing gust of wind.

She breathes deeply, taking in the fresh scent of nature around her.

There's something peaceful about this place.

***

Following a brief hike through a small cave system, and abandoned tunnel system, she arrives in front of her lab's door. With her hand resting gently upon the control panel, she hesitates before opening it.

This too has become part of her daily routine.

Before entering, she always takes a couple seconds to take another few breaths, and remind herself of the reason she comes here everyday.

Of course, that person probably knows she's just awkwardly standing right outside the door, waiting to enter.

Now calm, she presses her hand against the scanner, and the heavy metal door begins to open.

As soon as the door opens, and she steps inside, she instantly feels at home. This room has become one of her favorite places on Earth, and it never fails to put a warm glow in her heart.

With a gentle sigh, she scans the various holographic projections, and equipment set up throughout the lab.

Everything is perfectly organized, and neatly placed where it needs to be. All of it works flawlessly, and without any problems.

Looking closer, it doesn't take her long to notice the person adorned in black clothing—they're seemingly focused on reading the data on a hologram.

Speaking of anomalies...

"Welcome back, Master Erika."

Aino's semi-robotic, feminine voice echoes throughout the lab, breaking the silence.

Yoru seems to finally take notice of Erika, and sits up a bit from their relaxed position.

"Were you able to prepare everything?" Yoru inquires.

"It went well enough... Yeah I got them. They're not perfect, but they should be more than suitable for your purpose." replies Erika, smiling faintly, "You're welcome to come look for yourself later."

As Erika walks towards a chair across from Yoru, she notices the slight change in posture that accompanies her presence.

"You got here a bit earlier than usual... Did you need somethin?"

Yoru responds with a soft shake of their head.

"No, I just wanted to get in some extra training, and finish some preparations regarding the Triumvirate... And the twins."

Erika nods slowly. "Mm~ Got it. Ah-I need to add some finishing touches to the things you wanted. I'll have them done tonight still... You promise you won't start anything before then?"

"Nothing will happen tonight, we're not ready..."

Erika grins broadly. "Good! I'll hold you to it! I'll catch up with you later."

All she hears in response is a quiet confirmatory mumble, which gives her a little chuckle. Right after, she equips her signature pink safety goggles, and sets herself at her usual workbench. Although she appears to be incredibly busy; constantly thumbing her way through various blueprints, and making the occasional change to her designs—her mind is yet again elsewhere.

Yoru is the metaphorical wrench thrown in Erika's system.

Everything about Yoru is anomaly to her. Even though she's grown quite a bit closer to her unknown companion, and she no longer holds any fear towards them—she still finds herself unable to understand their existence.

The first time they met, Yoru handed her the key to saving the life of her sister. Then within just a few days, Yoru eliminated the man threatening her family, and controlling her life. All of their actions since then have proven themselves to be benevolent.

But regardless, Erika can't stop herself from questioning everything—it's who she is.

Before learning about Yoru's psionic abilities—they spoke of wanting her helpher assistance for some sort of personal ambition. When they first mentioned having an ambition—Erika viewed helping Yoru as a way to repay the debt she owed.

Her thoughts were that she'd be trading a known evil—Dr. Mathers, for an unknown good—Yoru.

Erika thought she'd be using her scientific ability to aid the ambition of some kind of businessman, scientist, politician, or whomever, in exchange for her sister's health...

So, when Yoru started speaking about 'changing the world,' 'saving humanity,' and 'giving her the answers she seeks,' she felt as though everything was a twisted joke.

At that point, Erika firmly believed in her system of thinking; she'd never seen an anomaly.

To her, there were only two categories of individuals that could make grandiose statements about changing the world: people who were outright delusional, and couldn't fully comprehend what they were saying—and people with an astronomically inflated sense of self worth, and self confidence.

It wasn't even possible for someone like that to change the world.

So internally, Erika scoffed at Yoru's ambitions. But still, she owed them. So despite viewing Yoru as a weirdo—she decided to keep listening, and help them out anyway. After all, they helped her without demanding anything in advance, and didn't seem to cause any harm to her.

She could at least repay her debt.

But once she had agreed to their somewhat ominous terms—she soon realized there were exceptions to everything...

Even now, after working directly alongside Yoru for a while, she's still trying to wrap her head around how they function. And that question is twofold—she doesn't fully understand them as a person, and for once in her life, there's a scientific abnormality that she can't begin to explain.

Starting with Yoru's 'psychic muscle,' or 'power,' as they call it—it breaks just about every rule of physics. The laws of motion, conservation of energy—she could spend all day going over the reason why Yoru's power can't exist.

Yet it does.

Erika truly feels that many of the greatest scientists, and physicists such as Einstein would be rolling in their graves if they had to witness such a thing so flagrantly violating the basic rules of the universe.

Trying to gather information about how exactly Yoru's power functions feels almost impossible sometimes. And although Yoru is a very helpful, and willing participant—they're not exactly scientific with regards to their power. They constantly measure things based on 'feelings', use imprecise terms, and use measurement techniques that defy common sense.

Being faced with the prospect of having to scientifically understand, and explain something as absurd as psionic powers existing is enough to drive anyone insane. Having not made any progress from directly observing Yoru's psionic abilities, Erika's primary focus has been on creating a system to better measure, and classify Yoru's power.

She's begun referring to Yoru's power as an ability to directly manipulate, and control Psionic Energy through an unknown—possibly biological medium. Her hope was that if she could create a classification system for their different abilities—then maybe she'd gain some insight into how it actually functions.

Because as far as current science is concerned—Yoru's power is impossible. Even if Yoru's entire being was directly broken down into pure energy, it still wouldn't be enough to 'power' their abilities.

Which means there must be something else involved.

Based on the known laws of the physical universe, and her understanding of energy and matter, Psionic Energy doesn't exist—it's nothing. There's no proof of it existing. But since Erika has no clue where Yoru gets their Energy or 'Stamina' from, and there's no way to physically measure it—the existence of Psionic Energy is more or less a placeholder theory.

Yoru's power has no measurable mass, volume, temperature, chemical composition, energy signature, nor radiation signature, and it's also completely invisible to the light spectrum—yet somehow, it still has some form of physicality, and is even capable of being formed into solid, yet invisible objects.

It's gotten to the point that Erika's heart races whenever she sees Yoru actively use their power, simply because it's so alien to her.

That said, the fact that Erika is able to see it at all makes it clear that there must be a method behind the madness. And while she may not know how Yoru manipulates their Psionic power, she's determined to unravel the mystery.

All of this newfound knowledge regarding Yoru's existence led to her realizing that she'd been mistaken about the two categories of people who claim they're going to 'change the world.' There's a third category of people who make such a claim—those who have the potential to do exactly as they say.

To Erika, the third category is a terrifying prospect.

Based on Erika's estimates; If Yoru were to unleash their power with reckless abandon—the repercussions would likely lead to the destruction of Earth as a habitable planet. At best, it might end up destroying most of civilization as we currently know it—or they could wipe out all living creatures from the face of the earth.

Yet, if Yoru's words are to be believed—they've had their powers for a bare minimum of six months already... Yet the world hasn't been destroyed—hell, until Yoru directly introduced themselves to her, she didn't even know they existed.

To Erika, that means that at the very least—Yoru's words hold a decent level of sincerity.

It's highly likely Yoru truly wants to use their power to help 'change the world'...

Erika's never been a daydreamer, nor overly hopeful by nature—but she also isn't the type to deny reality. If there's anyone in the world capable of accomplishing what Yoru claims—it's them.

Erika truly couldn't care less about who leads humanity, so long as it has a better future—just imagining the scientific prospects, and societal changes that could be brought forth by Yoru's power is tantalizing.

With Yoru's power—the possibilities are endless.

Perhaps it could be used as a deterrent for nuclear weapons, or maybe even protect the Earth from asteroids?

Or going one step further—if Erika puts everything she has into making Yoru's power stronger, their power could probably be used as a method of power generation—providing humanity with an infinite supply of clean, pollution free energy! O-Or maybe it could be used to further advance space travel, and colonize other planets!?

"Ah~...."

As Erika continues envisioning the future—she starts feeling a little dizzy. She leans forward, and rests her hands on the table as she tries to regain her composure.

Ah—This is foreign to Erika. She's never been this excited imagining what the future could possibly hold. It's exhilarating yet frightening at the same time.

There's a hint of excitement mixed with apprehension, and anxiety. In her mind, she begins picturing the unimaginable.

What if... What if their power truly is limitless? What if it could grow infinitely? Could it truly be the future of mankind?

She doesn't know exactly what the world Yoru's striving for would be like... But truthfully, she really wants to see it...

But in this current moment, there may be something she wants even more—she wants to be able to speak to Yoru without their mask, and talk without any barriers separating them. She wants to speak in earnest, and hear Yoru openly speak about whatever they wish. She wants to understand their goal—their ambition. Their reason for everything. For the first time in her life, she genuinely desires to learn more about someone.

She wants to get to know them more than anyone else in the world—to be able to share their feelings, hopes, and dreams with her... She wants to play a role in building their future.

A small smile forms across Erika's lips as she thinks back to when they first met. Yoru mentioned her having a part to play—could this be what they meant?

"I wish things were simpler..." Erika's melancholic words follow a slight grumble of annoyance.

When Yoru first asked her to join them, she imagined them being equal partners. They'd both contribute equally to whatever endeavor they worked towards...

But Erika's slowly understood the fact that it's impossible for them to be truly equal.

Honestly, that's probably why Yoru hides their identity, and hasn't told her much about themselves.

Although it pains Erika to admit it—their motives are understandable.

They're afraid of getting caught—that's obvious. They want to avoid any unnecessary attention from those who might oppose them. They don't trust others enough to let them near their precious secret.

In order to prevent other people from taking advantage of them, they choose to remain anonymous. And in doing so, they have to take measures to ensure nobody else knows about their power, and its capabilities.

Which means that for the foreseeable future, they'll always be alone. No friends, no family members, and certainly not romantic partners.

The thought is painful to accept—but considering how dangerous their power is—there's no choice but to live separated from everyone else.

To the majority of people, Yoru's power would bring nothing but fear.

And that realization is heartbreakingly sad.

Erika feels that in a way, Yoru lives in a different world. A world that exists beyond the comprehension of normal humans. Being able to see, or as Yoru says—feel the entire world around them gives them a unique perspective, and allows them to perceive the world in ways that ordinary people cannot. And having the power within their small body to move mountains must almost certainly make regular humans seem... small... insignificant.

It's practically impossible to see eye to eye with someone possessing that kind of seemingly limitless power—how could an ant; viewing the world from its limited perspective on the ground ever understand the feelings of a dragon soaring through the skies?

But that doesn't mean Erika doesn't want to try.

She's tried to understand Yoru in order to better learn about their power, and its source, but it seems hopeless. And to top everything off—this isn't the end of Erika's worries.

Without Yoru's permission, she'd constantly gathered any available data she could on them, and in doing so—she discovered their height was increasing even though they'd been wearing the same clothing. And when she directly confronted them with her findings—they didn't argue, nor did they refute her findings.

So what does that mean?

Erika had already been worried about the kind of effects possessing psionic powers could have on a human psychologically—and to make things even more complicated; Yoru is most likely a young, pubescent teenager.

Although it's entirely possible for Yoru to be male or female, Erika feels as though they're most likely male. She has no scientific, nor logical basis for this hypothesis, but based on their mannerisms, and speech patterns, Erika strongly believes Yoru is indeed male.

Such knowledge gives her a headache.

Not only will they have to deal with puberty, adolescence, and all the emotional turmoil that comes along with it—but they'll also need to cope with the immense physical, and psychological pressure that comes with their psionic ability.

"Fuuuh..."

While trying to come up with solutions, Erika's head starts spinning again. To snap herself out of it she decides to focus on her task at hand. Reaching to her side, she pulls out the bag she'd brought from Anithrel.

After Yoru explained his plan to basically control a large section of New Eden—and eventually possible the world's underground, and criminal elements, she really didn't know how to feel. If his plan works as he hopes, it could be a net good, but the risks involved are just too high. On the other hand, if it fails—it could lead to severe consequences.

Regardless of how she felt about it—the decision was ultimately Yoru's to make. Going down this avenue—some level of conflict is unavoidable. As such, after talking it over with Yoru, she was tasked with the creation of some form of weapon that could be manipulated by Yoru's power, but be inconspicuous if used in front of outsiders.

Opening her bag, she instantly sees around two dozen triangular blades, each coated in black metal. The solution she came up with was to create blades that are basically just extremely durable throwing knives. By coating them in an alloy that makes them appear almost black—they should be able to easily withstand the pressure of moving at supersonic, and possibly even hyper sonic speeds.

Yoru can act as though they're throwing them, but then simply manipulate them with their psionic power.

Still, knowing that Yoru is most likely a teenager fills her with an unrelenting feeling of dread. Although creating physical weapons for Yoru is somewhat redundant due to their power—she's knowingly creating, and handing weapons over to a teenager.

Shaking her head, she slowly places them into a fabricator. Her thoughts flicker back to the countless times she was pressured, and forced into creating weapons for Dr. Mathers. Every time she designed a weapon, she knew full well it would inevitably wind up reaping lives. Because of the scars from that time—her stomach would churn, and her hands would tremble every single time she worked on a weapon.

She works quickly as her mind remains occupied with endless thoughts.

"Hmm...?"

Looking towards the blade held within her hand—she realizes her hands are perfectly steady. Her heart is racing, and her breathing shallow, but her fingers are completely relaxed.

Why? Is the only thought in her mind.

Whenever she made any kind of weapon for Dr. Mathers, she'd become anxious, and often be unable to work properly.

So why now?

Why am I able to calmly craft these weapons?

Her eyes dart between her hands, and the blade in question as she struggles to find answers.

Slowly, she understands what has changed.

No longer is she forced into handing over her creations to a man, and system she despises. Instead, it's her choice, her decision. She's creating this weapon to help protect, and further the ambition of her ally, her comrade...

Yoru is... Yoru is...

Naive? Rash? Stubborn? Dangerous? All of those qualities exist in Yoru, but they're also what makes him who he is.

Honestly, Erika feels as though Yoru doesn't fully understand just what it will take to change the world as he hopes. He may believe himself capable of changing it all—but the reality is far more difficult than anything imaginable, even with his power.

That's why Erika considers him naive.

He's an incredibly talented individual—someone who can potentially change the course of history.

But he's young. Very young.

Even though he may have great intelligence, and great emotional maturity for his age—he lacks experience. His inexperience, and youth may lead to rash decisions, and poor judgment calls.

Maybe that's why he's able to confidently say he's going to change the world aloud to others? Maybe because deep inside he's convinced that nothing can stop him?

Erika has not only had years to mature, but she's seen firsthand the problems, and evil that plagues humanity—none of it can be fixed easily.

If Yoru were older, perhaps wiser, he wouldn't dare utter such words. Or at least—not until he'd gained enough wisdom and insight to understand just what it takes to alter the fate of humanity.

But that's neither here nor there.

All that matters right now is that Erika has chosen to support Yoru's cause, and assist them in achieving their goals. That's why she crafted these weapons.

She doesn't want to remain a helpless girl on the sidelines, watching as the world changes while she stays silent.

Instead, she wishes to be useful in helping Yoru realize their vision.

No—that's not it either.

She doesn't have great power, nor does she possess vast riches, or political power. She's not a politician, and she's not a king.

She's a scientist—a creator. Someone whose job it is to think of new ideas, and implement them.

She wants to become the guide—the builder whom lays the foundation for the path Yoru walks upon. That way, she won't be left behind as the world continues to progress forward—she'll be able to help steer Yoru towards a better future.

This is my role.

Erika closes her eyes, and silently whispers those words.

Finishing the final blade, she slides them into a strap holster she'd already prepared based on Yoru's measurements.

Pulling off her pink goggles, and wiping the few droplets of sweat from her forehead, she takes a final look at her work. Although simple knives are far less advanced than her usual work, they'll serve their purpose—aiding, and protecting Yoru, and serving as another step for them.

With a sigh, Erika stands up, and stretches her arms above her head. She lightly slaps her cheeks a few times to brush away any tiredness, and adorns her usual bright smile. Suddenly reinvigorated with energy, Erika heads back into the lab where Yoru is waiting for her.

"Yoru~ It's done! Let me show you!"

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