Chapter 27: Journey
JAVERT
Chastity Javert here. We are here at a house near Dark Hedges, an area of scrub between Armoy and Stranocum in County Antrim, Northern Ireland. I am packing my bags in preparation for a trip northward to the North Pole, as the weather is slightly colder than I am dressed for. Okay, maybe more than slightly. I slip on some thermal stockings, a black stretchy dress made from material that wicks moisture, and a hat and jacket made from the fur and lined with the blubber of an adult polar bear.
I know my viewers are shocked. But this single polar bear supplied coats and hats for all of us (it was larger than normal), and in fact, contrary to those sensational photo shots of polar bears struggling to stay on icebergs to show global warming/climate destruction, this shot was actually taken during the summer. Between May and October, the icebergs do indeed melt. But polar bears deal with this year after year. Polar bears are not endangered, even though they have been listed as Vulnerable or Threatened. This listing has more to do with people lobbying for this status that actual fact. When the polar bear was listed as "threatened" by the administration of former US President George W Bush, officials invoked a special rule saying the Endangered Species Act could not be used to regulate greenhouse gas emissions. In other words, this was all about lobbying for climate action, and very little to do with their actual status.
Oh yes, some polar bears are killed by Inuits or when they make a nuisance of themselves. But for 35 years, a zoologist named Dr Susan Crockford, corrected failed predictions of global warming and polar bear extinction panic. "The people of Nunavut are not seeing starving, desperate bears - quite the opposite. Yet polar bear specialists are saying these bears are causing problems because they don’t have enough sea ice to feed properly. The facts on the ground make their claims look silly, including the abundance of fat bears. Residents are pushing their government for a management policy that makes protection of human life the priority," she said. Data published since 2017 show that global polar bear numbers have continued to increase slightly since 2005, despite the fact that summer sea ice in 2018 was again at a low level not expected until mid-century: the predicted 67% decline in polar bear numbers did not occur. And National Geographic received such a profound backlash from its widely viewed "This is what climate change looks like" starving polar bear video, released in late 2017, that in 2018 it made a formal public apology for spreading misinformation.
So you see, dear viewers, one polar bear was not going to make a difference. I killed it humanely and gave its liver to Vitamin A pill manufacturers, as none of us could eat that. The rest of it was turned into bear meat for our journey.
We lined up on our seats in groups of two, with me sitting next to Marina, Rena and Alicia sitting together, Autumntwig and Aellisa, and Arboria and the camera person were sitting in the cockpit. The group all seemed to be flat earthers as I discovered, but regardless of their opinions, they were right that at the North Pole, that all area approached a central point. This meant that if you headed north from Utqiagvik, Alaska or Franz Josef Land (Земля́ Фра́нца-Ио́сифа) in Russia, or from Ireland where we were, they all converged in a single point. All of us agreed on this, but we started arguing when I insisted that the same thing happens for the South Pole. "South Pole?!?" Rena said, "there is no South Pole! The land expands outward until you get an arctic rim, and then there are outer Earths after that." I found this absurd and asked her proof. She claimed she had been on the Earth for much longer than I had, and had seen it herself. "Maybe," I said, "I'd believe you if weren't so old and senile." This got a rise out of her, and I could see veins bulging near her forehead. The others managed to calm us down before Rena unintentionally made the chopper crash.
It takes 17 hours to go from our location in Ireland to the "North Pole" in Fairbanks Alaska (which is actually nowhere near the North Pole, being only 64°45′04″N latitude when the actual one is 90°N), nor the "North Pole" in New York, nor several mountains or towns by that name in Idaho, Kansas, Oklahoma, or even a bar in Western Australia, so I really had no idea what I was in for in terms of travel time. Especially since all Google Maps searches told me "No flights appear to be available." That's nice but I was wanting a trip estimate. Needless to say, it was a long trip through areas of perpetual light (What? You thought I was going to say darkness?) before we landed at our destination on a Friday, at between nine and twelve o’clock in the morning, about three days before Easter Sunday in April. I left my watch at home, and the magnetism was disrupting my cellphone, so the time was a mystery.
At this time of year, temperatures were much colder than in North Pole, Alaska (seriously, what a joke) but -22°F was Easter would come in April 20th this year, and it was set to warm up to above freezing in May. I stepped out of the chopper and shivered in my Gore-Tex boots as I stood in several inches of snow and ice. I looked around, "There's nothing here!" Well, there was snow and ice for miles, but yes, there was basically nothing around. Rena also looked around, "How can this be? This is definitely the geographic North Pole. Should we try the magnetic North Pole next? Wait, no the machine didn't show us the magnetic pole, it pointed right to the center. It should be right here." The others wandered around before Arboria and Aellisa pointed to something and muttered excitedly to one another. "What's up?" I asked them. Aellisa explained, "There's a strangely shaped shadow right above us. I think there's an island up there!" And so, we took my helicopter straight up, even though Arboria really wanted to plant a giant beanstalk. No offense, but that idea seemed dangerous.
Up there, there indeed was a floating island. The rock and metal was holding the mass together nicely, and the island bobbed up and down as though it had density light enough to float in air instead of water. Before continuing on, I reminded everyone to spend time resting and acclimating their bodies. Decompression sickness was nothing to sneeze at, and we wanted to be sure that we dealt with this sooner rather than suddenly while in a battle, so I had everyone rest and receive oxygen in some tents. We also tried to rest in the tents.
But we never got to rest. No sooner did the treatment finish than we found the tent ripped up by icicles launched from outside. Moving out of the tent, there were some odd creatures that the others described as ice elementals. The others had no problem dealing with those attacking them, but one of them launched an icicle at me!
Panicking, I extending my arms protectively in front of me while my life flashed before me. Instead of a life history, a damned showtune got stuck in my head, and I blurted out the words, "24601!"
In front of my hands, in the direct path of the icicle, runes gathered together and some sort of stone prison cell formed around the projectile, containing it before it hit me. What just happened?
ALICIA
I had heard of this phenomenon from my memories of the past. Some people when first learning the divine art or magic, would draw it from personal associations, resulting in what is called unique magic. Books, movies, and other symbols tended to be their drawing point for spell casting. Then later, they would learn how to use more regular effects. When this happened, the words used for an effect, or cast words, didn't match the words of the effect. In The Advanced Compendium of Supernatural Magic and Effects, this spell was known as Imprisoning Protection, and the description of it read, «The Imprisoning Protection spell is a box of energy that is made to resemble a stone cell. It is hollow in the middle, allowing creatures to be placed inside it. While it looks as normal stone, it is several times more dense, able to shrug off magic and physical blows alike. Multiple instances of Imprisoning Protection can be stacked atop each other, and it is possible to climb these cells.» But I knew why she thought of those random numbers. It was lyrics to a song she apparently liked.
Look down, look down
Don't look 'em in the eye
Look down, look down
You're here until you die
Now prisoner 24601
Your time is up
And your parole's begun
You know what that means
Yes, it means I'm free
No! Follow to the letter your itinerary
This badge of shame you'll show until you die
It warns you're a dangerous man
I stole a loaf of bread
My sister's child was close to death
And we were starving
You will starve again
Unless you learn the meaning of the law
I know the meaning of those 19 years
A slave of the law
Five years for what you did
The rest because you tried to run
Yes, 24601
My name is Jean Valjean
And I am Javert
Do not forget my name!
Do not forget me, 24601.
I always found it funny that the other Javert expects Valjean to remember his name but is reluctant to extend the same favor. Anyway, as you can see, it was easy to understand how this was the name of the first bit of magic that she ever cast. In any case, the rest of us managed to dispense with the opposition, and went to check out the front door of Belial's Castle. It was locked tightly.
