Chapter 29: Oracle of Tao
ALICIA
I had finally solved all of the puzzles of Belial's Castle. And so, I added each key to its respective tray, and the little orbs sat as they were scanned by some sort of technology I guess. Or was it magic? The gray orb lit first, turning white. Next was the red orb, then blue. The yellow and green orbs wouldn't light, so I rearranged them. That did the trick, and the gate swung open.
"Alright, guys, I guess we should go face Belial..." I said, before looking around. It was like someone queued the opening screen of Tales from the Darkside, as reality started to shift and I guess I could put it, flip over. One minute, I was here with my friends, triumphant that we has solved the puzzles and were soon ready to put down Belial. The next, I was surrounded on all sides by a colorless mist. It wasn't even grey, nor was it clear, it had no color.
I turned around and saw my friends' ... faces. I was about to say, "Ah, there you are..." when I realized that I couldn't remember my friends' names. And as I looked from one to another, I couldn't hold on to the memory of their names. It might be tempting to compare it to that creepy scene at the end of Final Fantasy VIII. You know, the one where Squall forgets what Rinoa looks like. But it wasn't quite like that.
For one thing, rather than forgetting things, I remembered all sorts of obscure references. Second, it wasn't actual prosopagnosia (the inability to see faces). Rather, I increasingly couldn't tell one person from another. When I saw Rena's face, instead of looking at a strikingly beautiful person that I loved, I saw a character from dot hack, and suddenly I remembered that Momo was the cute reaper girl in Shinigami no Ballad (her name also meant "Peach", which was something that popped up in Japanese legend, and also a hallucinogenic fruit in the film Labyrinth), Marina was everything from several actual marinas to a couple of French actresses. Everything down to listening Welcome to theBlack Parade on Youtube only to see something about a kid in a parade an hour later on television, or even where I was born got over associated (leading to Biblical references to Sharon), everywhere I was, everyone I met, everything that happened... it was all just a symbol.
Gradually, Rena and her friends disappeared from my memory. And then they disappeared from my sight. For all I was aware, I had no friends, just delusions from my mind to convince me that I was loved. I was an adopted child. How could event my parents love me? The colorless mist became a deeper and darker shade of colorless all around me, as my mood likewise darkened. For the next several hours, I muttered to myself, "Nothing is real, nothing is real, nothing is real, nothing is real..."
In the middle of cycling through my own memories, I had a random image flash through my mind of one night. That night while I was living with my folks, I had curry with rice that was extra spicy. Instead of adding yogurt to the curry as most people do, I added it to the rice. The result was that the curry remained hot, and the rice tasted mild. Rather than try to change what curry was, I had decided to accept things as they were, and the result was an interesting taste experience, as I fluctuated from hot to cold. As I thought about this strange memory, other memories surfaced.
I remembered that I was the Oracle of Tao, in particular. And while I had never learned the final technique, how to master the Tao, something about this memory was like yanking at a thread. Other attached memories surfaced, of times where I hadn't deserved what I got at all. Where much like that curry, nobody had bothered to add anything to me, but loved me as I was. Such memories began to cut through the progressively darkening colorlessness. Without my effort, the Tao appeared. Like a lantern, its light and dark shone through the colorlessness, and I found myself facing Belial.
The Tao was my weapon, for sure, but as I became aware of what it was, I realized just how much it was a double-edged sword. I actually understood that despite summoning it, I now had no control over it. It was as though I had called a wild dog that could hurt me as easily as what I intended it to guard against, but at the moment such power was sleeping.
What it was actively doing was testing my resolve. I tried to bluff my way through, "Hear me, Belial! I have come to destroy you. I have been trained by the fox spirit Rena, and now I have mastered such power." The Tao sensed my bravado, and revealed the truth and lie of it. As if to say, Oh really? I now was being treated to images of all the times that Rena could have trained me harder, but we goofed off. I couldn't read minds, so I had no idea why she did it. Though suspect she just wanted to spend time with me.
But there was always doubt. Maybe I couldn't trust Rena after all. Belial sensed my uncertainty, and started laughing. "R̶̠̲͇̣̓e̸̯̙̫͂̏ą̶͙̘̹̊l̸͉͙̓͒̅͝l̶̳̳͗̇̄͝ẙ̵̗͉͕̑,̸̋̚͜͝ͅ ̵̖͔̦̞̿̈͂̔ň̷͕̿͜͝o̴͕͑w̵̺̰̳̉̋,̸̧͍̦̎̀" he said, "H̶̭̃̋̅͝o̸̰̯̲̩͝w̵̼̽̈̃ ̷̼̘̓ċ̶̨̬͐̚ả̵̧̹͉̰̈́͝ǹ̸̤̖ ̶͓̊ÿ̵̦́̌͠o̴̜͈̎͋͝u̵̲̥̘̕ k̷̡͕̿n̶̥̞͉͛̒͜o̶̮̪͊̇͆ẉ̸̋̍ ̸̨̜͍͎̎ỹ̵̱͍o̶͈̻͋û̷͈ ̵̦̀̀̀ͅċ̵̠͎͕ḁ̶̭̝͔̔̈́̈͝n̴̼̍̀̈̓ͅ ̵̬̹̹̍̓ť̸͚ṛ̶̡͚̟̍̑̔͠u̷̪͍͗̇̆͠š̷̭̖͈̗ṯ̸͙̊͊ ̸̥̮̝̉̀ḧ̷͚̖͉̣̑͑͛e̷̪̙̫͆̀͊ŕ̴̥̮͊̎?̸̛̪͕̖͚͊̄͑" I remembered when I thought she was a spy, and how many spooks were out of control government types trying to rule over others, how people from the FBI occasionally went after taxpayers, how CIA spooks would occasionally run scenarios to figure out how their country was vulnerable (by doing it), and so on. Now I was pretty sure she was not a spy now, but the fact remained that Rena was not a human. Maybe she was working with Belial. Maybe she even led all those demons to our town!
The Tao was faith and doubt. When I believed in myself and felt good, I had full control over it. When I wavered, even someone like Belial was able to use it against me. Even if it was right, I couldn't doubt her. And yet, I couldn't just switch on trust of someone. I had to be sure.
"I know how you can trust someone," Rena told me. "Where did you come from?" I asked, "You disappeared!" She asked rhetorically, "Why do you think that is? It's because you got trapped by an illusion and forgot about me. Look, I know that as a gumiho, I'm a super-tricky fox. That's the reputation I have. But my tricks are mostly pranks. When it comes to something real, I don't lie. So here's the real thing. Since you were young, we have been friends, even though I was older than you because I was young for a nine-tailed fox. Lies belong in Belial's illusion. But while Belial can plant doubt, I couldn't appear here if I were lying about caring about you." Marina, Arboria, and all the others showed up too, "Neither could we." Rena continued, "I didn't train you hard because I wanted to spend time with you, and I hoped you wouldn't be here, risking your life against him. I wanted you to know how to make peace, not war." With that, my trust was restored. Some doubt always exists, but I realized I did have friends.
With that, the Tao began to turn, moving against him. "Ť̵̛͉̩̱̻͑h̵̻̲̝͂͊́̒i̴͍̓s̷͉̰̑ ̷̼̻̟̓͂c̸̢͂a̴̬̱̿̑n̵͇̳̟̏̚ͅn̴͕̍̈́̕͜͝ò̵̞t̸̝͙͇͗͊ ̶̠̻̰̩́b̸̙͓̼̠͝ë̷̤̑̽͝!̸͇̭͍̂̎̂͂" he said. I was just about to turn the Tao against him, when I had a thought.
And this thought made the Tao react. Suddenly reality fell away, but not as it had before, when Belial summoned up that depressing mist. A white empty space as far as the eye can see was decorated only with myself and a sleep girl in a sleeping bag apparently resting in midair. "Oh hey!" the girl said after yawning, "What's up?" I looked around, "What is this place?" She introduced herself as God. "Yeah, right," I rolled my eyes, "if you were really God you would be able to..." She manifested a bowl of Korean barbecue, "...Summon the food that you happen to be thinking about? Yes, I can do that." I asked God, "Why am I here?" And she answered, "Human beings are born in order to discover their purpose in life." I clarified, "No, why am I here?" God answered, "Oh that. The Oracle of Tao has the ability to get in touch with the nature of reality. You were about to finish off Belial when you thought better of it. But that's not how you got here." I asked why. "The Tao ability is part of reality and the relationship between self and others," she explained, "So when you use it to hurt others, you feel their pain. And when you use it in battle the first time, whether or not you go through with things, it puts you in contact with the truth of reality."
I asked, "Why exactly did I hold back anyway?" She shrugged, "It's because of who you are. You are a person who cares about immortals. You don't connect normally with the rest of humanity because you see people as connected in strange ways. You would assume anyone who treated you a certain way is Rena. This makes you ideal for protecting her, but you cannot be a savior to the world. You cannot defeat Belial this way. And yet, you have the opportunity to do something greater. Belial is a leader of demons. As long as you stand against him, he continues to hunt down humans in search of the Oracle. But what the demons need is a happy ending. I will send another Oracle to deal with him, but if he is defeated now, demons will be enslaved." I didn't want that to happen to those poor suffering demons.
I wanted a world where everyone won. I remembered as an adult, reading the manga version of Legend of Zelda, and concluding that the Triforce was a metaphor for a literary trinity: hero, lover, and villain. But in that moment, I remembered that I had suspected Rena, so she was the hero, the lover, and the villain. She was the hero in my story (not me), I definitely loved her, but she could also be the one I fought. And I thought of what would happen if Rena were in need and had to steal or kill to survive. We were all connected in the grand scheme of things. If I acted in violence and killed Belial, I became the villain.
It was near midnight. Tomorrow was Easter, and I wanted to leave a legacy of forgiveness. Even if it meant my life.
And so, the heroic thing to do would be die to save something. And so, I allowed the Tao to backlash against me, destroying my body completely. Life, death, and everything in between are all choices we humans are allowed to make.
As I made this choice, my last thoughts were of a strange game I had played during my gaming days. Bravely Default, it was called. In it, a group of four heroes (Tiz Arrior, Agnès Oblige, Edea Lee, and Ringabel) fight in order to awaken four crystals. On the surface, it seems like a regular "Hero, save the world and get the crystals" story, but the story was slightly deceptive. The fairy that sent them on this quest (Airy) insisted each crystal be overcharged. As the story went on, we discovered that Airy was actually a horrid larval monster bent on drilling a dimensional hole through realities in order to release her demon leader. You had a choice between endings. Once you found out about Airy, you could rapid-fire tap the button to basically crack open the crystal, during which Airy would beg and plead with you, and then eventually turn into a monster and attack you. Or you could continue to cooperate in her plan until the countdown reached zero, in hopes of being able to stop her master.
The word default has a an interesting meaning, as it means both to surrender, and to just keep doing what you're doing, effectively carrying the meaning of both choices. In this life, all we really have are the friends we make and the choices we make. I only hoped Rena would understand my choices. Sorry, Rena...
RENA
"No," I gasped, watching something go wrong with the Tao, and Alicia suddenly disappearing from reality. I didn't understand why she had to do that. My nightmare had come true.
Belial ranted in his creepy demonic voice about how now that the Oracle was gone, nothing would stop him from totally taking control, and darkening the world with evil and destruction. And honestly, I couldn't see anything I could do to stop him. "I think not," said a voice. We both turned around. Jesus was fully embodied, where usually he was a sort of super-ghost that could bypass walls yet become solid enough to eat food.
He explained, "I did not save the Jews from the Romans. I did not save them from the Nazis either. They thought that a Savior should save the physical world. I did not save the world from you either time, because it's up to you to live your life and make decisions. I came to save the world from sin, not to condemn it because of sin. But you are caught in your sin. It's time for the world to have a time out from you, while you reflect on the harm you have done to this world. Or not, up to you. The point being, this world is polluted, and God is going to make a new one. You won't get to corrupt this one." So saying, he said the word, and his father summoned a host of angels. Two in particular named Michael and Estheriel grabbed him while he screamed. Now these angels looked more like Justin Bieber or Zac Efron than big burly bouncers, but this was effectively what they were. Angelic powers have the ability conjure objects, and they created the highest purity weapons against him, along with a Jūzō no Gyakusetsu Fūjikome Tsubo (literally "13th paradox containment urn").
Now this urn was so named because it ran on a number of paradoxes. For example, the urn was so weak that Belial could easily use suggestion or illusion powers without limitation, yet any amount of force including his full power or that of every being in the universe be of no avail. This included God, it was a paradox because it was an urn that God had made that he could not break (directly). Yet simply gathering thirteen keystones paired with the urn, and waiting for an eclipse would be enough to weaken the urn's power. Lastly, there was the paradox of Belial being dead yet alive (having been killed prior to being shoved in), cut into thirteen pieces (the keys) but being whole (inside the jar), and an living spirit but a dead body inside a jar. God obviously expected him to be released as the angels explained that when Belial was removed from his urn, he would live again. They did not even pretend they said if. Estheriel seemed to dislike this, mumbling something about free will being evil.
Over the next thousand years, the darkness would consolidate, turning the Earth into a world of Void. But God spend his time splitting the darkness away from people living there, taking the people there to a New Earth, created specifically to start over. Only these humans didn't start as dumb apes. They had the benefit of history from the old Earth, and could try new things. That was great and all. But I was done here. I didn't want to keep living.
