𝑶𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒖𝒑𝒐𝒏 𝒂 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆  .....there was a man. A man whose life was about to be turned upside down and inside out. This same man is about to enter his first journal entry in a new journaling app, not knowing that his first entry in that app....will also be his last.

He's a fervent reader of isekai novels, where the main protagonist is taken to another world. He would love to experience that phenomenon right now; but alas...reality is reality and fiction is fiction.

Now let's get a closer look at this unfortunate man. Or is he perhaps a fortunate one? This, my dear reader, I will leave for you to decide.

Today is a rainy day. But not just any rainy day. No, it's been raining for days nonstop now and nature seems adamant to demonstrate that autumn is here to stay. The back garden is covered with red and orange colored maple leaves and small raindrops are slowly gliding down the windows, adding to his already moody state.

"Mmm....let's see....how does this thing work?," a man in his early twenties says while being all alone in the living room. He's trying to figure out how to get his newly installed journaling app to work, while turning his tablet up and down in order to make it switch to landscape mode. 

Enter name:
"Okay, that's easy. No...ah W...il...son." He enters his name too quickly, forcing him to correct his many mistakes while occasionally cursing. After confirming that his name is correctly spelled, he pushes the next button on his tablet. 

Enter your name:
"Huh? But....I already have? Oh? Aaaaaah! The first question was the journal name. Duh." 

Noah quickly corrects his mistake and continues to a more challenging question.

Choose gender: Male/Female
"Oh no...that's the single most difficult question ever. Born a male, but definitely female on the inside. So...what should I enter? Okay, what the heck, nobody will know anyway. Let's just go with female. Perhaps this thing will give me some interesting wallpapers to use....probably not."

After spending quite some time answering a few basic questions, it asks him to confirm what he had just entered.

 

 

Yes, Noah seems to be an impatient man. Not a complicated personality nor caring for appearances.  He's just...plain and simple Noah.....a man. Such is his appearance to the outside world. 
His true innermost feelings are a closely guarded secret. A secret only shared with one other human being.

Is the entered information correct?
"Ahhh....that sucks. I definitely should have entered a female name."

Noah leans back into his chair for a moment and contemplates one of life's greatest challenges...how to determine your true name.

"Mmm....what would it be? Never actually thought about that. Whatever...not now. YES, correct." 

He pushes the "next" button and then starts his first ever journal entry.

"Dear Diary. No....make that dear journal. 

It's quite strange typing this. It feels like I'm talking to myself. Perhaps that's what's supposed to be therapeutic about this. Or it simply means I'm going psycho.

Right, I guess introductions are in order. 

Well....I'm Noah and my big sister Violet, yeah stupid name I know, is 23 years old. Old...that sounds wrong. Okay, she's 23. There...that's better. 

By the way, Violet, if you are reading this, I swear I will find a way to torment you!

Okay journal...let's start at the beginning. Violet and I were adopted so many years ago into a loving family. The Wilsons, a.k.a. my new parents. 

Violet and I aren't siblings biologically speaking, but in reality, we very much are. Family. That's what we are.

Both our biological parents supposedly died when we were just babies, and somehow we ended up with the same new parents. She was adopted first and I was the latest addition to the family. If someone asks me about my mom or dad, I will always kindly think of the Wilsons.

We have had a great childhood together, with lots of love. We weren't a rich family, but what money couldn't buy, their love for us more than compensated.  

Simply put, they were great parents. Were, as in past tense. 

Both of them died due to different illnesses only months apart. How crazy can life get? We both lost our parents, just like that. Nothing we could do about it. 

My big sister was still studying back then, but was able to make ends meet by working late every night. I was just 16 then, and Violet was 18. Of course we've had some support here and there, but nothing too fancy. 

Times were hard, but we supported each other. What can I say? There was no other way. We just had to. She helped us through some rough times, but now things are looking much better already.

As kind as she's wise....(sis, I know you are reading this, just wait for divine retribution when I find out).....she suggested that I start writing down events in a journal. Apparently she heard that writing about your issues helps you cope with them more easily. Considering the number of typos I'm making right now, I seriously doubt that assumption. But I'll give it a try.... nonethemess....nonth..nonthel...nonetheless. OMG, typing on a tablet sucks.

Why would any sane person want to keep a record of one's life in the 21st century, you may ask?
Violet believes that I can clear my mind by entrusting any negative feelings to the journal. So....I just write them here and be done with it. I just hope she doesn't make me re-read this.

My big sis knows that I'm actually a woman. Born a male, but my brain was designed to be put into a female body. Or maybe it's just my soul that is female? I have absolutely no clue. There! Happy? Now you know my darkest secret already. 

Nobody else knows, and I won't talk about it again. That my dear journal, is a promise.

I think I have managed to hide this from my parents and other people pretty well. But now? Now what am I supposed to do? 

We don't have the means to make my body look like the way it should have been assembled in my mother's tummy in the first place. No, no, no let's not even start that discussion. Would I even want to? What exactly defines me as "me"? Nope, not going there either.

I learned that being a woman isn't just physical. And I think I actually convinced myself that it's true. So let's simply stop there. 

I think I already promised to stop, didn't I? I promise again. No more journaling about this topic.
Tomorrow. I promise. Just today.

When we're alone, Violet calls me sister and she. We simply try to have fun like sisters are supposed to, as long as nobody notices. That is one of my conditions, I don't want anyone else to know. 

The only possession I have that makes me feel special, is a necklace with a tiny sailor moon picture.
I know, lame, but it makes me feel like me. Does that even make any sense? 

Why am I even asking a question to a journal? 

It always makes me smile when I look at it, the necklace I mean, and Violet says that I might even become a real magical girl, as long as I truly wish for it. But so far no luck. I wonder how she would have been...the real me I mean. I bet she would be happy. And pretty. 

There. That's it. I said it and won't repeat it. It is written. And forgotten. And journal, you better keep quiet about it! I don't ever want to talk about it again! I'm serious!

From now on this topic is forbidden. Top secret. Not to be mentioned again.

Right now I would really want to see my stats. You know, like in those isekai novels?
You mention some kind of phrase and you see a weird pop-up message. Not on your laptop, but like some sci-fi transparent screen right in front of your own nose. 

In most stories they show your level or how advanced you are, but also your age and stuff. And for magical girls....their super awesome spells they can use to change the world.

But all that I get when I shout that activation word is a reply from Violet, something like "Nope...you're still here. Keep trying, sis." Usually followed by her weird giggle. 

Well, she isn't here right now, so let me try again. Just for research. Status!"

At this point Noah thinks he's struck with a visual migraine, one of those which make you believe you are going nuts. Weird colors and patterns show up like an interrupted TV broadcast and disappear again within a second. Something is happening to Noah, but he is unaware of it. Believing it to be just another migraine.

"Wow! That was definitely a weird one, never saw that one before. Right at the exact moment when I said it. Status! Awww.....nothing this time, so it really was just a fluke. 

Anyway, back to my living together with Violet. All of the sisterly bonding will have to end when she moves in with her boyfriend. 

Things were fine until she fell in love...yep....she told me I was welcome to stay, but I just can't. 
So I guess I will have to find my own place somewhere. No idea how though. I can't afford anything at all at the moment. So it seems that I really have to stay with them and save up for a year or so.  

Basically it's just the two of us for now and some dear friends. But I'm not complaining. Things could be worse. One day fate will smile at us, I'm sure of it. 

We do have some relatives, but they moved to another state, and we're not willing to part with the little valuable things we do have. Those valuables are mainly our friends. I don't think they would actually be willing to take us in, should something happen, and we wouldn't want to impose on them either. 

 

Back to me. 
I'm now 21 and will finish my training next year, hopefully finding a steady job as a car mechanic. 
Is it my dream job? Nope, but it was the only one that appealed to me. And it beats dealing with human beings a billion times. Cars always make sense...people don't.

Oh my god, this already sounds lame. You know what? Forget it. 
I'm not depressed. Why did I even make it sound so depressing? Just forget what I just wrote and only read the next part.

I'm happy actually, really! 

I'm Noah and I work at a gas station. I'm the cashier, but I also take care of the indoor little sandwich shop. The pay isn't that great, but it helps to pay the rent and put some good food in the tummy. Besides, the work is quite fun. You never know what kind of customers are going to visit on any given day. 

 Violet on the other hand is a hospital assistant, or something. She told me her job title more than once, but somehow I always forget. For now, our combined income is fine. We're good. 

 

Okay, journal. That's it for now. See you tomorrow. Without the emotional part."