Paul groaned faintly. It felt as if an entire Taiko drum troup was using the inside of his head for a practice hall.

He lay very still trying to recall just how exactly he’d come to this state… although truth be told, he was struggling to recall anything at all. The inside of his head was a bit like the floor of a bar after a fight, there was bits of stuff randomly scattered here and there… and it reeked of booze.

As far as he could remember, he’d run out of pizza makings sometime around midnight, after which he’d joined in the festivities. His memory got a bit fuzzy after Inari had brought out a stash of sake from somewhere…

Paul frowned, as thoughts and sensations ground their way across the landscape of his mind at a glacial pace. He seemed to be in bed, or at least, lying on top of it… with a warm furry blanket draped across his legs and one hip. Slowly he lifted a hand and placed it on the soft, silky fur, sliding his hand upwards he encountered what felt like warm silk draped over a mound of pillows.

Unable to work out what his finger tips were telling him Paul focused all his willpower, and with a herculean effort, opened one eye. Turning his head he peered blearily at what looked like a mound of white fur… from which a very naked, and curvaceous female back emerged… Paul lifted his hand up, slowly, having realised that what his palm had been cupping, and had felt like silk covered pillows, was in fact the woman’s naked buttock.

Carefully he started to inch his way out from under the fur blanket, only to still as it lazily stirred, part of it wrapping snake-like around his thigh… his very naked thigh.

Paul swallowed, as neurons managed to stumble into one another and make a connection, and he recognised who the woman in his bed was. He very slowly, and carefully, began to inch away from Inari.

Only to freeze as she made a sleepy sound of protest, and snuggled in closer. Paul tried to think what to do.. doing his best to ignore what bits of her were pressed against him. He took a slow, careful, deep breath, and began to disentangle himself again.

He had no idea what, if anything, they’d done last night. He fervently hoped the answer to that was nothing… but he was also sure that if Inari woke, she would probably try something and aside from the guilt and shame that was already starting to eat at him, he really didn’t want to deal with a sexually frustrated goddess while he was this hung over.

He’d almost managed to crawl safely out of bed, having found a robe beside the bed and mostly pulled it on, when Inari lifted her head and looked at him though her long silver hair. Her eyes were bloodshot and half closed and she had drool on her chin. She was also, objectively speaking, one of the most desirable sights he’d seen in a long while.

Inari stared at him for a long moment... then collapsed face down into the pillow and whimpered softly.

“ow.”

“Yeah… me too. Inari, did we…?”

“I… don’t... remember… ow… I haven’t been this hungover since… actually, not ever.”

“Goddesses get hangovers?”

“This Goddess does, if she’s stupid enough to drink that much sacred sake and not take a peach pill to prevent it.”

“Right…. Do those work afterwards?”

“Yes.”

Paul paused, trying to remember where he was going with that question. After a moment he managed to grasp what he’d been thinking of.

“Where are those, thingies… and do they work on humans?”

“Yes, they do, and they’re in my shrine. But I am not moving. I am going to lie here and pray for the sweet merciful release of death.”

Paul sighed. Well, so much for that idea. The thought of walking to her shrine, in the bright sunlight, made his head ache just considering of it. He very carefully sat up, and then saw that someone, possibly Shoko, had left a pitcher of water and two glasses by the bed mat. He wasn’t sure whether to die of embarrassment, or bless her furry little heart. He settled for a glass of water and four ibuprofen and some B12 pills from his stash, noticing in passing he’d have to restock soon.

He filled the other glass, and left a couple of the pills next to it for Inari.

“You ok with coffee, Inari?”

“Blessed man! I shall build you a house in the Celestial Realms.”

“That’s a yes?”

“That is very much a yes.”

Paul sighed, and went to find the kettle and coffee makings.

Passing by the other bedroom of the small single-story guest house, Paul noticed that there was a large mirror lying flat on the ground… one that, for some reason, looked kind of familiar. He stood for several seconds, just staring at it, trying to dredge up something from the murky depths of his memory, but he came up with nothing and decided to think about it later maybe.

Paul shrugged and stumbled through to the lounge where the kettle lived, as it was the only room with a functional electrical outlet at present. The screen doors were open, and Paul could see that the wide open swath where the festival had been, was once again just an expanse of grass. For a moment he wondered if the whole thing had been some sort of fever dream… it had certainly seemed dream-like, what with crowds of the various ‘Others’ happily partying in a kaleidoscope of mythological forms.

A few minutes later Paul put two cups of strong coffee on a tray, along with a selection of ‘fixings’ and took them back through. He stopped and carefully fixed his eyes on the wall beyond the bed, as Inari had rolled over in her sleep. It wasn’t that he was averse to seeing naked female flesh, or that he was a prude… but she was a friend, and it just wasn’t polite to ogle her!

Even if she did seem to enjoy it. He suddenly recalled her leaning over him at some point during the night, affording him a view down the inside of her kimono. He vividly remembered her laughing at his blushes, although kindly, as she pulled the top closed.

He put the tray down on the floor next to the bed, and keeping his eyes firmly averted, reached for her shoulder to shake her awake, again.

What his fingers found was far too soft and firmly yielding to be a shoulder. He was just about to snatch his hand away when Inari spoke.

“Paul-kun… what are you doing...”

Convulsively he snatched his hand away, and tried to stammer out an apology. Only to be stopped by her musical laughter.

“Paul… please, I’m sorry but I was awake already.”

“You...were. Wait, did you just...”

“..move, yes. I’m sorry, but you looked so noble, trying not to look. I couldn’t resist.”

“Not cool Inari. Very. Not. Cool. My head hurts badly enough as it is. I didn’t need my blood pressure spiking like that.”

“I’m sorry Paul-kun..”

Inari’s small voice sounded genuinely contrite. Risking a glance at her, Paul found that she’d used her tails to cover herself discretely, although that did leave rather a lot of bare skin visible. He sighed, and carefully placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Ok, apology accepted. Here, I brought coffee.”

“Coffee..? Oh you wonderful man! I’d marry you today if you’d have me!”

“Leave off. Milk or cream, sugar or honey?”

“Cream, lots and be generous with the honey.”

Paul poured a cup for her, and himself… and they sat in silence for while, drinking and contemplating.

“Inari ?”

“Paul-san… I don’t think..”

Paul grinned slightly as Inari laughed. He gestured with his hand, as if waving her on.

“Go on, you first.”

“Ladies first?”

“Age before beauty.”

“Hmph! I’m almost tempted not to tell you now! … Almost.”

“Well?”

“Well… despite appearances. I don’t think we did lie together. I mean we did, lie together... but we didn’t, you know, lie together.”

“Uhh...”

“I mean, we didn’t fuck, Paul-kun.”

“OH! Right.. I knew that.”

Inari raised an eyebrow, but refrained from commenting on the obvious falsehood.

“In fact, I distinctly recall being very irked at you insisting on being a gentleman… while at the same time also being very affected by it!”

“Affected? Oh! You mean, turned on. Wait, really?!”

“Yes, really. You have no idea how… arousing, that is… to be be gently and very politely turned down while being made to feel so special. As if in your eyes, you are not worthy.”

“I… I really wish I could remember that now.”

“You were very, very not at all sober. Although it is funny the way you become very precise and English gentlemanly when you are drunk...”

“Yeahh… I’ve been told before I sound like Jeeves when I’m three sheets to the wind. I try not to let it happen too often.”

Inari murmured under her breath.

“A pity.”

“What did you say, Inari?”

“Nothing of import! Anyway… so, despite our waking up in the same bed, naked...”

“Yeah… No offence meant, but oh thank god we didn’t!”

“I’m curious Paul-kun, would it be so terrible if we had?”

“Considering the way I felt when I didn’t even know it was you. Yeah. You have no idea just how guilty I’d feel if I’d taken advantage of a friend!”

“That... makes it worse?”

“Of course! If you were as drunk as I was, then you’d be in no shape to give consent, and you know what sex without consent is!”

“Ah… a struggle? But I wouldn’t have fought back, I promise.”

Paul looked at her strangely, and shook his head.

“No, that’s rape. Seriously Inari?!”

“Oh…. I.. forgot. Modern ways.”

Paul looked at her aghast.

“Holy sh…! What did they teach women back when-ever?! I mean, submissive Asian female is so much a trope it’s cliché, but seriously, what the hell?! You’re a Goddess! A Kitsune-kami no less!”

“I… didn’t used to be a goddess. Not always. I was once a courtesan, I think. A very, very long time ago. But some habits of thought are hard to break.”

“I… yeah. No. Not even then. Even common back alleyway prostitutes have rights. Some things just aren’t right, no matter what. And submitting to that?! Goddess, courtesan or whatever, that’s just not on. No matter when or where.”

Inari sighed, and gave him a look that seemed almost… fond… but somehow felt like he was being humoured. Wisely, Paul decided to shut up, since the last thing he wanted to do was argue.

“Anyhow... cultural differences aside, we’re friends, right? Not friends with benefits.”

“Friends with benefits?”

Paul inwardly winced, of course she’d be interested in that. He hadn’t meant to bring that up… but his brain-to-mouth filter seemed not to be working presently.

“Ah… friends who have casual sex, for their mutual pleasure. Which is ok, and there’s nothing wrong with that, if you’re into casual sex. Which I am not.”

“Oh, me too!”

Paul looked startled at Inari.

“Really?! I... hadn’t got that impression.”

“Mmhm! When I have sex it’s is very passionate and energetic! Not at all casual.”

Paul blinked, then slowly face palmed.

“That’s… that’s not what it means! I meant, uhh.. sex with no romantic attachment, just physical attraction.”

“Oh? Ah! You mean you won’t bed a woman, unless you love her?”

“Well, yes, but... Look, I never stopped loving my wife after she died and loving someone else would feel like a betrayal. So, effectively, it’s never going to happen actually.”

Inari stared at him for a moment, then tears began to well up in her eyes, and she flopped face down onto the bed, crying. Paul stared at her in baffled alarm for a moment… then awkwardly patted her back.

“Umm. I’m sorry if I disappointed you. I didn’t know you felt...”

“Oh no, no.. it’s.. just that... that is SO romantic! And so sad!”

“Oh! Er… thanks? Please stop crying Inari. If someone comes in now, it’s going to be hellishly difficult to explain!”

Inari giggled, although a sob still caused her voice to catch.

“That would be funny.”

“Nope, no it wouldn’t, not for me.”

Inari sighed, wiping away her tears, and nodded.

“No, I suppose not. No one would ever believe you, when you told them you didn’t do anything. I can scarcely believe it myself!”

“Well, I was also very drunk too, that probably had something to do with it.”

“In my experience, that’s never stopped someone before, just hampered their performance.”

“TMI Inari! Ah... too much information, that is.”

Inari laughed slightly.

“I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean to make you blush that time.”

Paul sighed.

“You know, a few more weeks of your company and I’m either going to be permanently blushing, or you’ll have worn it out!”

Inari giggled again.

“You make me sound terrible Paul-kun!”

“Inari, you are terrible, terribly outrageous and a terrible flirt... but I kinda like it.”

“Aw, I thought I was quite good at flirting! Wouldn’t you say so Paul-kun?”

Inari smiled up at him, twining a strand of her long white hair around a finger.

“You know what I meant… and you’re doing it again.”

Inari laughed, genuinely smiling at him.

“You are a very hard man Paul-kun.”

“Hmmph, you are not wrong there… in many ways.”

Inari blinked, and her eyes flicked downwards and then back up, and she laughed.

“Ohhh! So at least part of you finds me attractive!”

“Never denied that, on a physical level. But I do have some self control. No matter how distracting you are.”

Inari smiled, shaking her head.

“I am actually relieved to hear that. I was beginning to think either I was loosing my appeal as well as my magic, or you were some sort of bodhisattva or saint.”

Paul recoiled slightly.

“Hell no! I’m no saint! And if your sex appeal is in any way diminished, then you must’ve been mind-blowing before!”

Inari smiled, her cheeks colouring faintly.

“That’s rather sweet of you! I know I don’t look it, but I am NOT young… and even goddesses can feel a little insecure at times.”

“Inari, as one friend to another, trust me. You have nothing to worry about in that regard! You could put any modern idol or pin-up to shame. Without even trying!”

Inari actually blushed, and buried her face in her hands again.

“Paul-kun.. you shouldn’t say such nice things about me… not if you don’t want me to fall for you!”

“Oh, oops! Sorry! But, it is true though. You are very beautiful.”

“What? Even now?”

“Well, ok, this is my personal opinion. But I actually don’t like those that rely on make-up and artifice to be beautiful. I mean, it is… in the same way a painting can be beautiful. But it’s fake, and I prefer things to be real. So... yes, even more so now, you are amazingly beautiful.”

Inari looked up at him from where she lay, with a strange expression on her face, partly puzzled, partly something else indefinable.

“You are a very odd man sometimes Paul-san.”

“I have been told that before. I guess I just don’t see things the way other people do… I mean, besides seeing ghosts and so on that is!”

Inari yawned, and stretched, her toes curling, and then suddenly, she was a fox… albeit one with a fan of tails. Paul blinked in surprise.

“Okayyy… that’ll take some getting used to.”

“I’m hungry, and I’ve no idea where my robes are and since you object to it, I am not going to walk around naked in a form you find distracting.”

“Thank you for your consideration Inari. Lets go see if there’s anything left in the kitchen and I’ll make us breakfast… or lunch, considering the time.”

Even with the fox’s muzzle, Paul got the impression Inari was smiling.

“Not the usual sort of offering one gives to a Goddess… but it would be very welcome!”

On their way out of the guest house, Inari paused, and sniffed the air, her tails quivering like a tussock of grass.

“That magic… I recognise that. What do you have in there?”

Paul glanced at the spare bedroom.

“Just a mirror. I’m not sure how it got here, or where it came… hey wait!”

Inari opened the sliding door with a small nod of her head and a wisp of magic, and trotted over to where the mirror lay flat on the ground.

“Paul-san, lift it up please so I can see the other side.”

Curious, Paul did her bidding, noticing as he did that it was marked with a strange swooping sort of pattern on the back, and that it was very heavy. The glass was more of a slab than a sheet, almost half an inch thick, and bound around the edges in metal.

“Is that a magic circle or something?”

“It is Paul-san. I thought I recognised it. This is Lord Daichi’s mirror.”

“Lord Daichi? Hang on I know that name. He used to be the local lord here about, oh four centuries ago? I think I read that on the plane ride over here.”

Inari nodded.

“He was the Great Lord for this region. This mirror is meant to trap spirits, binding them inside itself. But… it’s been damaged! See, someone has drilled holes in it!”

Memory suddenly sparked in Paul’s brain.

“Ohhhh… now I know where I’ve seen this. It was on the wall in Aimi’s restroom! This is the mirror she’s bound to. Those holes are where it was screwed to the wall I guess. But how the heck did it end up here?”

“You don’t remember?”

Paul gave Inari a look.

“I wouldn’t ask if I remembered, would I?”

Inari’s fox form wasn’t really suited to showing expressions, but she managed to look both contrite and smug.

“Ah... you were rather drunk. We both were, as I recall you were trying to play Shogui with the Tenuki boss man, and losing badly too. You mentioned that your bound spirit would return to her mirror in the morning, and said something needed to be done to help her. Boss Hirohido said he’d take care of it, as a favour.”

“Oh…yeah now that you say it, I do kind of remember. I guess this is him taking care of it. I wonder what they thought when they opened the store this morning and someone had stolen the mirror from the men’s restroom. That would be a puzzler for the police.”

“They might not notice, he would’ve had his men replace it when they were done. It could be days before someone notices, if they ever do.”

“Still… at least that clears up a mystery. Aimi became trapped because it’s a magic mirror.”

“A faulty one, she shouldn’t have been able to leave it at all, not unless summoned. I wonder how it ended up where it did? Where was it?”

“Men’s restroom of a supermarket, which used to be a girls school apparently.”

“Oh… I had heard they built a school on the site of the Lords house.”

“Ah, that would explain it. I guess someone found the mirror and decided to re-use it. Can you tell if she’s in there?”

Inari nodded.

“She is… leave it stood up, like a doorway. She’ll appear this evening.”

Paul moved the mirror, leaning it against the wall and moving a low stool in front of it to make sure it couldn’t fall over. He wasn’t sure what would happen if it was face down and Aimi tried to appear, but he didn’t want to find out.

“That’ll do I think. Ok breakfast! Or is it lunch? Ah, call it brunch and have done. Food anyway.”

“You go ahead Paul-san. I no longer yearn for death, but my head still feels like a split log. I shall fetch us some peach pills while you cook, for in truth, I doubt I could stomach anything much at present.”

“Sounds like a plan, see you in a few minutes Inari-san.”

Inari giggled, sounding precisely like an anime school-girl, and trotted off on her little fox feet, while Paul headed for the main building and the kitchen.

Paul was staring at the sparse contents of the fridge and trying to think what to do with them, when he heard Shoko-san’s merry;

“Good morning Paul-san!”

Paul winced briefly, then stood up and turned to smile at Shoko.

“Good morning to you, did you have fun at the festival last night?”

“Yes! I did, did you?”

“Actually, yes I did. Despite Inari roping me into being a judge, no... Magistrate, that’s the right word. It was... satisfying. The pizzas went over quite well too, I think. I had people coming back for seconds certainly.”

“Uh huh! I heard people talking about it, and you. They were kind of baffled and amused. I mean, a temple guardian, and one who’s an English Lord, making pizza… very good pizza too! Some of them were confused because you’re not Italian!”

“Huh? Oh! No you don’t have to be Italian to make good pizzas, but it helps if you learn on the job at a pizzeria that’s owned by an Italian family. That’s how I paid my way through University, spending my evenings cooking pizzas. I guess that’s where I picked up the love of food too.”

“Ummhmm! So… am I going to have a baby sister or brother?”

“WHAT?!”

“Well, you and Inari slept together, right? So...”

“Shoko! That’s a wildly inappropriate thing to ask! And no.. we didn’t!”

“Oh boo…! Couldn’t you hurry up and make a baby with her? Then she wouldn’t be so gloomy all the time and want to die!”

“I… wait, is that what this is about? You think if she was with child, she wouldn’t be depressed?”

Shoko nodded firmly.

“No doubt! Oh well, better luck next time!”

“There won’t be a next time!”

Paul hesitated, there was something about Shoko’s expression that caused a strong misdoubt in his mind...

“Shoko… you wouldn’t happen to know how Inari and I ended up in bed together, naked..”

“Noooo...”

“Shoko, did you have something to do with it? Truthfully.”

“Mayyyybeee…. A little.”

“Last chance Shoko. What did you do? Truthfully, or it’s no more pocky for you.”

Shoko pouted, and refused to look at him… but after a moment of scuffing the tiled floor with the toe of her geta, she answered.

“Meanie.. all I did was finish getting you both undressed and put you to bed.”

“In the same bed! That’s not right Shoko! What were you thinking?!”

“Ehhh… I was thinking you could give Inari-sama a… baby...”

Shoko froze…and swallowed, going paler than a ghost.

“She’s standing behind me, glaring, isn’t she?”

Paul nodded slowly. Shoko turned slowly to look at the furious looking Inari behind her.

“G-G-Good morning Inari-sama… I-I can explain...”

“Sho-ko...” Inari growled, stalking towards the cowering little kitsune, as her pupils dilated until her eyes looked like twin portals to some infinite light-less abyss.

With a tiny ‘Eep!’ Shoko started to back up… flinching as Paul put his hand on her shoulder.

“Inari, stop. You are terrifying her.”

“Shoko!” Inari ground out between bared teeth.

Paul took a breath, and stepped in front of Shoko, shielding her.

“Inari, I said stop.”

He didn’t raise his voice… but Inari stopped as if she had run into a wall. She growled, crouching. Her body was human shaped, but the way she was behaving was pure primal predator. Paul refused to back down, meeting her feral gaze until she looked away.

“Nothing happened Inari. And it’s as much your fault as hers.”

Inari growled, but a bit less forcefully this time. Paul shook his head.

“No point being pissed at me either. If you hadn’t been openly talking of dying in front of Shoko, she wouldn’t have come up with a wild scheme to try and get you knocked up, so you wouldn’t want to die. That is why she did it. She was terrified you were going to give up and die, leaving her alone.”

Inari blinked, her eyes returning to normal.

“Is this true, Shoko?”

Shoko nodded, still too scared for words, silent tears spilling over her lashes to trickle down her cheeks and drip from her chin.

Inari’s mood changed like the sun emerging after a summer storm, and just as swiftly. Her face, her whole posture softened, and she knelt in front of Shoko.

“Oh my precious little one! I am so sorry! Sorry to have burdened you with my dark mood. Sorry about growling at you when you were trying to save me from myself. Sorry...”

Inari didn’t get any further as Shoko wrapped herself around Inari with a wail… setting Inari to tearfully trying to reassure her, at the same time apologising and weeping into her daughter’s hair.

While the pair of kitsune knelt, simultaneously and rather incoherently apologising and reassuring each other in broken sentences, all whilst crying up a storm, Paul sighed and took out a packet of bacon and a carton of eggs and set about making a more-or-less midday meal for all of them.

He had of course, occasionally wondered what family life would be like… but he’d never imagined it would be like this.