14:10 27 May

I was wigging, I realized, so I took a deep breath.

Breathing good. Jack like breathing.

I took another, and that helped too.

Okay. Skirts are fun. Apparently.

…I’m not sure I can do this.

I mean, what am I gonna do, tell the girls ‘this might sound weird but I think I like dressing up as a girl’?

Yeah, no way that’s happening. Besides, this is just for the band, right?

…right?

Gah, now I’m second-guessing myself even more! How do I test this?

Maybe I can just, like… figure out ways to get mistaken for a girl, and see how I feel about it once the embarrassment goes away?

…considering what I’m wearing I suppose I’m off to a good start.

I guess if I’m doing this…

I swapped the skirt for the other one, then took off my leggings and added the fishnets. Neither really went with my briefs, but if anyone saw those I was doing something wrong anyway. It was a good thing I didn’t have much body hair yet (ew) and what I did have was pretty light; though the bandage didn’t do great things for my look, so I went back to the leggings. I put the leather jacket on next; yep, that fit too. I unbraided my hair and fluffed it out a little – it had more volume since I started using conditioner like (Nancy?) suggested, and I kinda liked it – then looked at myself in the mirror and twisted my hips again.

Damn.

…I look hot.

That is really weird.

I opened the changing room door before I could talk myself out of it.

“Alright, how bad do I look?” I asked nervously, weirdly concerned about the answer. Bay said they wouldn’t laugh, right? Anyway, as long as I don’t get pegged as a boy in a skirt it’s probably fine.

“OhmyGOD, Jack,” Bailey said quietly. She wasn’t frowning, which was a good sign; actually she looked sort of awed. But she was also biting her lip a little, maybe disapproving? Did I actually look bad? Why was that idea disappointing?

“Can we really call you Jack dressed like that?” Kelly asked once she’d recalibrated her jaw hinges.

“Hey, I like my name!” I said, hands on my hips. “It’s the same as that chick in the Alex Rider books!”

“I dunno, it just… seems odd.”

I waved a hand. “Pretend it’s short for Jacklyn or Jacqueline or something, if you have to, but me Jack!” I finished pointing at my sternum. I was having enough of an identity crisis today without worrying about my name.

Kelly dropped the argument, and we finally finished up at the counter with the addition of black nail polish and eyeliner. For me, which I guess at this point ought to be expected. We checked out and hit a snag.

“I don’t think this’ll work on our bikes,” Bailey said, when we’d given up trying to get all of our bags into our backpacks. “Now what?”

“Food court!” Mel said. “We’ll think better on full stomachs.”

Kelly’s stomach growled and that decided it, so we made a u-turn away from the outside doors and headed for the other end of the store.

The bizarre fulfilled-nostalgia I’d felt Monday and Tuesday had subsided over the week since the dream-or-whatever, but a wave of it crashed over me as we walked out the interior doors and into the mall.

As I remembered, the previous continuity had it being renovated around 2014; that being half a decade in the future, assuming it wasn’t a construct of my subconscious, it was currently still the holdover from the eighties that it had been my entire childhood.

Hm. My life lately would make a good eighties movie. Wonder if I can sell my story to John Hughes.

The question was, who’d play me? Three days ago I would have said ‘a young Keanu Reeves’, but going by my beskirted reflection in a Forever 21 window… maybe Molly Ringwald would make more sense.

As I briefly imagined myself as a redhead, my brain took the opportunity to play me the Pepper Ann theme song.

Thanks, brain.

‘Who’s that girl, what’s her name’, my brain replied.

“What are you humming?” Kelly asked.

“Er…”

‘Jacqueline, she’s like one in a mill-yaaaan!’

yeah I’m ignoring that

“…y’know, Pepper Ann was in middle school for like, five years,” I pointed out.

“That sounds awful,” Bay said with a shudder.

“I heard they’re going to start switching sixth grade over from a couple of the elementary schools next year, that’d be like four,” Kelly said.

“Thank goodness we’re headed for high school,” Mel said, coming up between Bay and I and swinging her arms around our shoulders.

We took the escalator up to the food court; the pastels that greeted us would not look out of place in a vaporwave collage.

Hey, there’s a Mexican place! Takeout Mexican; hm. But hey, it’s not Taco Bell. And it wasn’t really takeout anyway, really, as we got closer it looked more like a restaurant without a dedicated seating area than it did ‘fast food’.

“Mexican?” I proposed. That was apparently acceptable, so after we all hashed out our orders, I took the lead and went to the counter while the others juggled the bags.

“What can I get you, miss?” asked the bland-looking service drone behind the counter. I still felt that rush of warmth, so I must not have been over the embarrassment, but I mentally pumped a fist.

Ha! He thought I was a girl! My evil plan is working!

Wait. That was happening in guy clothes too.

Aaaaa why is this so hard

“Um, two ground beef enchiladas with rice and refried beans,” I started, pointing to myself; “chicken enchiladas, same sides,” for Bailey, “chicken chimichanga, ditto” for Kelly, “and two shredded beef enchiladas, rice, black beans,” for Mel. “Drinks all around.”

Once he’d taken our orders, we pooled our funds and paid up.

“Okay, take this, and you’ll see your number on the screen up here when it’s ready, okay girls?” He smiled as he handed me a printed number (35) on a palm-size paper square.

“Thanks!” I said, smiling back to be polite, then the girls and I got drinks and went for a table in view of the screen.

I recalled something vaguely about seeing girls sit down a specific way when wearing skirts, and I swept mine under me as I slid into a seat. Mel raised an eyebrow at me. Kelly raised two.

“Have you worn a skirt before?” she asked.

“No!” I protested. “Well, maybe? I dunno, Mel, did that count?”

“It was a dress, so not technically,” she said, confirming my suspicion. I nodded.

“Not to my knowledge, then,” I told Kelly.

“Wait, you’ve worn a dress?”

“Bay and Jack and I were little and Bailey was Robin Hood, she needed princesses to rescue.”

“Was this before or after the Black Canary costume?” Bay asked.

“You remember that?” How? We were like four!

“I didn’t, but Mel showed me the picture.”

Kelly’s eyes widened. “This I gotta see!”

“Oh, boy.”

“You brought this upon yourself, Jack,” Mel said, pulling out her phone and smirking.

“What, how?”

“You coulda said ‘no’.”

…okay yeah fair

I gasped fakely. “But that would be lying! And I am a paragon of virtue!”

That got a snerk from Bailey. “And what do you call dressing up as a girl to sing in a band?” she asked.

“Ziggy Stardust.” Hey, that’s an idea. ‘Jay Rebel’, stage persona. That would nicely sidestep the identity crisis, I’d just have to figure out who ‘Jay Rebel’ was.

Riot grrrl-type, obviously; feminist, taking a stand about the ‘beauty’ industry and image and sexual assault. But that’s what she sings about. What’s her stage presence like? I thought over what I was wearing and what else I’d picked up. Okay, I’m thinking… confrontational, spunky, exuberant. A lesbian, of course, because I do not want to even pretend to think about boys that way. Eeugh.

Wait. Am I describing Korra?

Eh, I’m cool with that.

That made everything so much easier. Just impersonate Korra as a punk rocker, and boom, stage persona.

“Jack? Jack!”

“Hm, what? Sorry?” I looked up; the girls were all looking at me, and I had a plate in front of me. “Oh, food!” I ran back the video buffer; Kelly must have gone up to get our meal.

“I was asking, who has parents that aren’t working?” Bailey said.

“Hmm.” I cut a bite off my enchilada, chewed as I thought, and swallowed. “Mel, your mom could get us, right?”

“Yeah, but I’m not sure if she could fit the bikes in the back of the car or not.”

“Oh!” Kelly said. “Wednesday’s like, a caterer’s weekend, so my mom should still be home. Maybe she could come get us, and then we could get your instruments from your houses? For band practice?”

We all exchanged glances; that seemed mutually acceptable.

“Excellent!” I said, in just the right tone of voice that Bailey knew to join me in the Bill & Ted air guitar. Mel and Kelly just stared at us.

“You two are weird,” Kay noted.

“Don’t I know it,” I said with my mouth full. Bailey just ‘mm-hm’ed.

We finished eating, though Kelly made me show off all the shirts I got while we did, and then three of us cleaned up while she called her mom.

We’d started walking toward the exit closest to our bikes, where Mrs.-oh-my-god-I-have-to-ask-at-some-point would meet us, when I saw it.

I bounced on the balls of my feet, pointing excitedly at what I’d just spotted. “DUDE they have DIPPIN’ DOTS!” I yelled.

“A little dramatic, don’t you think?” Bailey asked as we moved thereward.

“I’m a thirteen-year-old, everything’s dramatic. It’s my prerogative,” I told her haughtily.

“I’m more into the teenage rebellion,” Kelly said, taking a slouchy stance with her hands in her pockets.

“Heck yeah, stick it to the old people.”

“Does that leave wiseassery up for grabs?” asked Mel.

“Not if that makes me the straight man of this quartet,” Bailey said.

“I don’t think any of us would be good at that role,” I commented.

Ooh, triple-snerk! New high score! I could guess why I got Bailey and Kelly with that one, but why Mel? Could she be- nah, not my place to speculate, and anyway what would be the odds?

We loaded up on Dippin’ Dots – chocolate for me and Mel, mint chocolate chip for Bailey, and strawberry for Kelly – and then moved on, back down the escalators toward the exit.

“Mm, so good,” Mel said. “I haven’t had these in ages.”

“Hey, Kelly, Bailey!” someone yelled from behind us. Rapid footsteps meant they hurried to catch up and walk alongside us. When I saw Bailey’s eyes widen at the sight, I kept my own gaze resolutely forward as a shock of red hair flicked into view.

“Oh! Uh- hi, Andrew!”

“Hey, who are your friends?”

Awwww crap crap crap!

“Um, hey, I’m Melody,” Mel said.

“Nice to meet you, Melody. Are you girls twins?” He leaned forward and looked at me for a moment, then his eyes widened. “Wait- JACK??”

Crap! What would Bugs Bunny do? Distraction!

“Jack? Can Jack do this?” I dropped to the floor mid-stride, one leg forward and one back. I still couldn’t quite manage the splits yet, especially with one hand full of Dippin Dots and the other holding a shopping bag, but it was enough that Andrew winced and squeezed his legs together.

“Gah!”

“Jealous?” I asked, grinning up at him.

“Nuh-uh!” he said, turning to look the other way and discreetly cover his groin.

“Can’t possibly guess why not.” Ow. I looked to the girls. “Okay, can somebody help me up? This is starting to hurt.”

“It’s a good thing you’re wearing leggings,” Mel said as she gripped my wrist and pulled.

“Ooh, right, didn’t think of that.” I dusted off my skirt. “To be fair, I don’t wear skirts often.”

“What, really?” Kelly sarcasmed.

“Unrepentant tomboy, that’s me!”

“That princess dress would seem to say otherwise.”

“You wore one.”

“I’m a girl.”

“And equally tomboyish. Anyway how am I supposed to be your twin if we don’t dress the same sometimes?”

“I’m confused,” Andrew said.

“Not surprising,” I said, patting him on the shoulder, “I am too and I’m involved.”

“But- you are Jack, right? One of you definitely is.”

“I am,” Mel and I said in synch. We burst into giggles.

“Er. Yeah,” I finally got out. He looked me up and down a couple times.

“You, uh- you look different.”

“Yeah… let’s head outside so we can sit down and we’ll try to explain.” Or at least so I have more space to run if he freaks before I explain. But if he hangs out with Kelly and Max he should be okay.

Once we went outside, we sat down on a pair of benches within sight of our bikes, Mel and Andrew and I on one of them.

“So…?”

“We’re starting a band.”

“Rebel Grrl and the Soul Sisters.”

“It’s a girl band. So,” I tugged at the collar of my leather jacket, “girl clothes.”

Which was somehow both a major oversimplification of the last couple of days, and also completely accurate.

He frowned and looked at me, then at Mel. “Well, uh… you, uh, pull it off pretty well.”

I shrugged. “Better than the alternative. Speaking of which, this is a secret, so please don’t say anything.” The idea of what Bryce might do if he heard about this was not a pleasant one.

Andrew’s eyes widened. “Damn. Yeah, of course. So, uh… where did you get the twin?”

“Mitosis,” Mel said.

“What?”

“Oh, look, Kelly’s mom’s here,” I said, jumping to my feet. “Gotta go!”

“Wait, what- now I’m more confused!” Andrew called after us.

I waved as I tossed a backpack into the back of the vehicle on top of our already-loaded bikes.

“Laters!”