Several months passed as the wheel of life made Arisa and little Johann drift apart without warning. At first, Johann is still trying to meet Arisa, no matter how tiring his schedule is. Until later, each of them no longer has time to see each other.

Arisa is occupied with her checkups and personal study on her father’s orders, while Johann is also busy due to a lot of programming he is interested in. Two underage individuals had forgotten how to play at some point. All they know is to interact briefly with other adults before returning to their business.

 

“Johann, let’s go to attend the closed seminar. There is a lot of insight there that may be very useful for you. I bought the tickets already so we can sit next to each other. Today is a day off school, right?”

“That’s right, school is closed for a few days. That’s why I’m here to teach myself more programming.”

“Excellent. Not onlu we’ll learn something new at the seminar, but also to build a new connection with others There’s nothing wrong with exchanging knowledge together with other attendees there.” 

“I understand, father.”

“Well that’s that then. Let’s get ready so we won’t be late.” 

 

The little boy is following his father with a smile on his face. Johann can’t wait to know what kind of knowledge he’ll attain in this seminar. It’ll be no problem for him to understand since his father will always be around Johann to explain patiently.

 

In the corner of a specific laboratory, Arisa’s father is accessing some information before sending the data to the system on the desk, which will upload the said data to his data clouds. His eyes remained as cold as ever before, closing them reflexively as he massaged this nose bridge.

 

“I have gathered the material you need to study for today on the table,” informed her father.

“Okay, Dad. I’ll look at it soon,” Arisa responded slowly.

“You should finish it within seven hours. Of course, it will take more time if you review what you’ve learned after that. Study hard while Dad is away. As usual, Father will ask you some questions regarding today’s material.”

 

He waves at Arisa with a stiff face before disappearing from the laboratory room completely. There’s not much Arisa can do other than start accessing the lessons she should have learned if she is still in school.

 

Everything is going like that until one day when a disaster occurs. 

 

The nurses and doctors are checking the data related to the accident just now in a room dominated by green. They looked at each other before nodding slowly in unison in front of a few corpses.

The bodies were still intact enough for the victim of yesterday’s unfortunate event. Thus, experts can quickly identify the identity of unlucky people. 

 

“The following are data related to the victims of this accident, doctor. I’ve transferred it to your ring.”

“Let me see for a moment,” the man responded as he lit his ring, “hmm… a traffic accident while visiting the outer zone?”

“Could it be…”

“Perhaps we’re thinking about the same thing. It’s the rebels. Even though the police report is still incomplete, I know that people outside are responsible for this.”

 

A nurse entered the emergency room, and everyone’s attention turned to her. The said nurse clears her throat.

 

“The family of the deceased has arrived. There’s only one, she is the daughter of the deceased. She asked permission to go inside if it’s allowed.”

“Let her in,” replied the doctor.

 

The sound of tiny footsteps echoed in the room, and Arisa could smell a thick sterile scent immediately. The little girl ignored it and kept walking toward the doctor. He nods and gestures to the nurses to show Arisa one of the corpses lying stiff.

 

“Thank you,” said Arisa short.

 

She approached as one of the nurses opened the cover over the corpse while the others helped Arisa remove the thin veil. When the veil is halfway down, the little girl can clearly see the face of the deceased.

Her father was supposed to be in another city doing his research, lying in a cold bed made of stainless steel. He almost looks like someone who is in a deep sleep. The nurse cleaned a few bruises here and there, so they were barely visible.

The doctor waits for Arisa’s reaction. If this child were the only deceased’s family, it would be natural for the girl to break down immediately. He is considering what he would try to do to calm Arisa when that happens.

 

“…Oh, I see. Father is dead now and I am all alone. There are no other members of the family apart from Father.”

 

The silence breaks in each person’s feelings in the emergency room, somehow forcing everyone not to say anything. The nurses were also waiting, looking at the girl without saying anything. What they will do next depends entirely on what the child will do soon.

As Arisa looks at the staff there, she bows respectfully in front of the doctors and nurses.

 

“Thank you for taking good care of my father’s body. Please take care of his body to his final resting place.”

“…eh?”

 

Little Arisa walks out of the sterile room with her usual footsteps. The nurses look at each other dumbfounded until one of them whispers to the doctor.

 

“Doc…is that kid really okay?”

“I… don’t understand either. She was very calm almost like she obeyed right away any words her parents said.”

“But, Doctor, my feeling tells me that there’s something about her that shouldn’t be there. The deceased was her father and he is the only one of her family. Something’s not right.” The nurse commented slightly with a lower voice.

“…we have no right to interfere any more than this. If the child really wants us to take care of her dad, then that’s that. We just need to do our duty as medical personnel.”

“I’m… understand, Doctor.”

 

The emergency room’s door closed again as little Arisa walked further toward the administration office. She is going there to prepare for everything related to his father’s death.

Johann and his father suddenly appeared before her. Behind those two, several other researcher colleagues also could be seen.

 

“Arisa! you—are you all right?” cried the boy.

“Oh, Johann. We haven’t seen each other in a long time—”

“That’s not important right now!”

 

Her playmate in the laboratory a while ago lunged and hugged Arisa. The little girl doesn’t understand at all why Johann suddenly hugs her without her permission. Her brain whirled quickly to find the exact reason for Johann’s reaction to the point that his embrace was so tight and suffocating.

 

When a family member dies, those left behind will feel incredibly sad. Crying and wailing are normal reactions for those experiencing that moment. But for me, I don’t feel that way.

 

“You… must be sad, right? Arisa? I’m sorry for not being around all this time.”

 

Sadness. A feeling that no matter how I simulated my surrounding, it always failed to come to me. Even when I saw his face for the last time, I felt nothing.

 

“Arisa...?”

“…”

“Are you all right?”

 

The little girl nods. Her facial muscles move so that she still looks like the usual Arisa—giving a friendly smile to everyone she meets. Including Johann, her friend.

 

“I am definitely alright. The one who was involved in the accident is my father, not me. I’m still healthy as you can see. Now, can you let me go?”

 

Johann choked upon hearing that. “No… you shouldn’t have that expression. Arisa, why do you put a fake smile like that?!”

“Johann.”

 

Johann’s father gestured for his son to let Arisa go. He stares at his father while wanting to cry before Johann finally steps back. And then, Johann’s father walks closer and kneels in front of Arisa.

 

“My condolences, Arisa. Your dad is an excellent person who contributes so much to our society. We’re all here to pay our respects for the last time before we truly can’t see him again. Will you give us your permission to do that?”

“Of course, uncle. Please say farewell to my dad.”

“Thank you, Arisa. You’re such a kind and excellent child.”

 

He stands up again and bows as he grabs Johann’s hand to go to the emergency room. The little boy still stares at Arisa with disbelief because he hasn’t gotten an answer to his question. However, he had to go inside.

Arisa is not saying anything as she watches everyone enters the emergency room and disappear behind those automatic doors.

There is no feeling of suffocation, hurt in her chest, loss, or disappointment.

 

“...”

 

The little girl walked down the hospital hallway, away from the emergency room, towards the administration office. She glances at each of their faces when she gets past everyone there.

And then she sees her reflection on one of the glass walls. Her mirage stares at Arisa blankly—a blank look confused with herself.

Her right hand gently touched her cheek as if trying to calm down the person in the mirror. Arisa’s mind starts spinning, trying to understand what’s happening.

 

I couldn’t cry when I lost my only family. As the lesson I’ve learned so far, a person can cry due to the death of a family member.

…

What has become of me?