Kevin was a normal 19 year old guy.
Kevin loved watching movies. Even if they were targeted at kids. Sometimes there were certain characters that stood out to him, particularly outgoing ones. While he did well at school, he never really fitted in socially, and wished he could be like the characters in movies.
7 Mar 2011:
Watched “Diary of a Wimpy Kid” yesterday night. I really liked it. The ‘newspaper girl’ was so cool and into life. I want to be more like her. I want to hang out with her. I wish I could have my high-school years over again... there’s so much I wish I could change.
Kevin had a girlfriend. Sure, his girlfriend lived in his head, but that didn’t mean she should be treated any differently. Her name was Cindy. She had blonde-brown shoulder length hair and her secret desire was to be real. Cindy was very different from Kevin. For starters, Kevin had brown shoulder length hair, not blonde-brown. Also, Cindy was confident and wanted to be real, whereas Kevin was the opposite—shy and wanted to stop existing.
Cindy was always there to keep Kevin company. Kevin knew that Cindy wasn’t ‘real’, but on the other hand, they shared a brain, so it’s not like she was any less real than he was. Sometimes they would switch so that Cindy had the body and Kevin was the imaginary boyfriend.
13 Jul 2011:
I roll over and imagine Cindy. I place my arms around her and try to feel her hugging me back.
“You’re not real,” I tell her without speaking aloud.
“But you don’t know you’re real either” she tells me.
I kiss Cindy and try to feel her kiss back. I turn over towards her. I realise that for her to be a real person she must use my brain; I cannot simply imagine what she does, I must actually be her in order to give her true life.
I close my eyes slightly. I am now her....
I kiss him on his lips. Sure his unshaven chin is a little offsetting, but who cares? I love him, come to think of it, it’s sort of gruff. I go to pull down his underpants, but he holds them there. I consider putting his penis in my mouth and giving it a good suck. But I must resist the temptation, for if I do I will be nothing more than his masturbation friend, only to be used when he feels the urge. I long to be real. I imagine that we are a family. We have children and live in his world. I roll out of bed. Turn around. A few steps of run-up and then jump over him, sort of flopping over him near the end because I can’t jump the entire bed. I turn around to face him.
One of the nice things about being imaginary is that it made it easy to switch sex when it was convenient. Other guys with 'real' girlfriends were sure to be jealous.
10 Dec 2011:
She can have a penis if she wants. I can have a cunt if I want.
Kevin studied at university and lived at home with his mum, dad, two brothers and sister. Sometimes Kevin’s mum would refer to the brothers as ‘the boys’, although Kevin was always unsure if this included himself or not. Kevin always got on well with his sister, but sometimes felt angry at the way his dad treated her.
19 Dec 2011:
Dad wouldn’t let my sister go camping with the boys because she is “a girl”. I’m so angry at him.
When the rest of his family were out, Kevin, like most guys his age, took the opportunity to watch porn. Although he hated it when the girls acted unrealistically or weren't having fun, as it made it hard to imagine himself in it.
31 Dec 2011:
To be honest, porn always leaves me with a feeling of disgust afterwards. The guys assume the typical guy stereotype and have nothing in their minds other than sex (same thing goes for the girls). I want the girls to look embarrassed when they show their stuff - not because I want them humiliated, but because I think that’s how I’d feel if I were a girl exposing myself.
Tonight I downloaded “The Good Girl” by Erika Lust. It’s a Creative Commons licensed porno aimed at women. The girl was so cute. She blushes when she strips, she enjoys sex (in pornsites it seems more like torture). I loved it.
I see I see.