Kevin found a site that allowed chatting with strangers. Sometimes he would chat as himself, other times as Cindy. He created an email address for Cindy for 'her' to keep in touch with people that 'she' chatted with. He never intended to lie, but sometimes he got carried away and it just felt so much better as Cindy.

19 Mar 2013:
Sunday night I sexted on Omegle... I was Cindy. I set up a gmail account. I sent a romantic email on Monday, but haven’t got a reply yet. I wonder if I’m taking things too far, this is crossing a line, but I knew it would happen eventually, Cindy will take on her own online identity.

Kevin carefully coordinated his uni schedule to spend the least time at home possible. Sometimes he would deliberately schedule classes early in the morning and late at night so that he had an excuse not to come home for anything other than to eat and sleep. However, life at home was not always bad.

23 Apr 2013:
On Saturday, my sister taught me how to play “payphone” (the recent radio pop song) on the guitar. She sang the words. I tried to sing along to some, but I suck and am shy. Anyhow, I loved it. For a brief moment, family actually seemed to make sense.

Kevin’s biggest fear was that he was becoming like his father, a fate worse than death.

19 Jun 2013:
I’m becoming like him. The fat one. My dad. I hate him.

However, he had days where he dreamed of being something else. Of course, he knew better than to take such far-fetched fantasies seriously.

19 Nov 2013:
I don’t care who I look like. That guy in the mirror is not me. Someday I will get a sex change. Then I will be a cutie. :)