Finding Naruto isn’t difficult, I just follow the devastation. The fighting in Konoha is all over.

I/Anko land at the edge of the clearing where Naruto and Gaara lay with Tenten/Kin and Hinata/Karin at my heels. To my immense relief, Sakura/Ino approaches with Sasuke in their arms. Naruto is crawling toward Gaara while using Talk no Jutsu.

“I’ve got people who care about me now. I won’t let you hurt them, dattebayo!”

“Why should you care about others?” Gaara says.

“They saved me from loneliness,” Naruto says. “I love them.”

“…So that’s why you’re so strong,” Gaara whispers to himself.

“Naruto-kun, don’t worry, Sasuke is safe,” Sakura says as she sets the unconscious emo boy next to him.

“Thank goodness, dattebayo!” Naruto is, at last, able to relax.

At the same time, Temari and Kankuro land by Gaara. Tenten/Kin and Hinata/Karin tense, but I wave them down with a hand gesture.

“It’s alright, I’m done,” Gaara says. The two sand siblings both seem taken aback. Shrugging, Kankuro shoulders his younger brother.

“Wait,” I say. Their hands reach for their weapons, but I raise my hands in ceasefire. “Orochimaru-kun was impersonating your Kazekage. You know what that means.”

“We were all played for fools.”

“Father is…?”

“The Kazekage is dead,” Temari finishes. I see shock more than grief on their faces. As expected from a man who ordered his son to be executed by the boy’s maternal uncle.

“And the Third Hokage is dead.” Sakura/Ino gasps, and my other women look stricken. “The Suna ninja invading force was wiped out, but Konoha suffered collateral damage. Both our Villages are crippled.”

“So, it’ll be peace,” Temari nods in understanding.

I’m glad she can see the bigger picture. “I predict Sunagakure will surrender, but that’s a political fiction to avoid reprisal. The fact is, Konoha can’t afford the resources to attack or hold captured territory. Our best move is to ally to prevent an attack of opportunity from our neighbors instead of fighting amongst ourselves.”

“What’s the point of telling us this?” Kankuro says.

I shrug. “We’re going to be spending the next few years making nice. Why not start now? Come back to Konoha with us, get first aid, take a bath, and sleep in a clean bed. Or are you so eager to carry your wounded all the way to Suna?” Their expressions sour. “I’ll make sure no one messes with you.”

With that, I about-face and lead the way. Hinata/Karin carries Naruto while the others fall in line. The sand siblings apparently have nothing better to do than follow me.

I sigh internally, giving myself an A- score. I completed three of my four major objectives. One, don’t fuck up Naruto’s character arc. Two, don’t fuck up with Orochimaru. Three, get Tayuya (the fucking comes later). Four, save the Third Hokage.

I’d hoped removing the barrier and allowing the Jonin to interfere would be enough. Unfortunately, of all Naruto’s villains, Orochimaru is the slipperiest. Killing him is a whole magnitude more difficult than defeating him. Also, I underestimated the lengths Hiruzen would go to seal the previous Hokage and stop Orochimaru even with victory assured.

Pioneering a new path with Hiruzen alive and Orochimaru dead would’ve been optimal, but following canon is more than acceptable. At least I’m able to accrue more power this way. Seeing Naruto fight Shukaku demonstrated better than anything that I’m still underperforming.

I can’t help being pleased with securing my two minor objectives: getting Gaara and Temari.

“Shino-chan,” Sakura/Ino whispers to me. “Kankuro-kun is the craftsman responsible for the puppet toys.”

Make that three minor objectives!!! Score!

Ahem. “I’m sure there’s a story there, but let’s wait until tonight to talk.” I simply have to add, “Excellent job though, Sakura-chan, Ino-chan. S-rank mission completion.”

Sakura quietly pumps her fist in the joy of success.

We return to Konoha to find an emergency meeting of the Jonin taking place in the open. Even though I’m technically a Genin, I feel like I’ll be in more trouble if I skip out.

“What are they doing here?” Asuma says with a growl at the sand siblings.

“They’re under my protection,” I say.

“A Genin’s protection?”

Anko decouples our amalgamate form to stand by my side. Tsume then strides over to take her place at my other side. My Genin girls all decouple and stand at my back as well.

“The hell is that technique?” Asuma asks. “What the fuck is this?”

Kakashi has a cooler head and has seen this jutsu before. “Shino-chan, perhaps a quick explanation would be best. We can discuss the details later and leave it to the future Fifth Hokage to decide whether anything should be classified as ‘Forbidden.’”

Heads lower in solemnity at this statement.

I nod, remove my sunglasses, and open my eyes. “I’m the culmination of the Aburame clan’s newest Secret Technique. I can copy Kekkei Genkai and reproduce bloodlines. There are limitations, of course, but the short of it is I’m currently the only one with this capability.”

“Huh, that’s interesting,” Kakashi says in a massive understatement. The other Jonins’ eyes go wide as they think through the implications. “More importantly, as you can see, Kurenai-chan isn’t here. Her withdrawal from duty has turned from a ‘lover’s quarrel’ into a serious issue.” I curse under my breath. “Additionally, the Aburame clan didn’t participate in defending Konoha. Shino-chan, care to explain?”

FUCK! What the hell is Choko thinking?

“The absence of a Noble Clan during an event of this scale is unacceptable,” Hiashi, Hinata’s dad and head of the Hyuga clan, says. “If something isn’t done, a formal censure from the other clans is the last resort.”

I gulp but hold my ground. “I agree the actions of the Aburame clan today are questionable at best. Perhaps selecting a new clan head is necessary. Please, allow the Aburame clan to resolve things internally before resorting to censure. Two days is all I ask.” Just in time for Hiruzen’s funeral. “Then we can decide a path forward that satisfies everyone.”

“I think that’s reasonable,” Kakashi says. The others take his words with serious weight. “As for the Suna ninja… I think we’re all on the same page. Prosecuting a war isn’t possible, therefore, peace negotiations have already started. Shino-chan has the right idea looking to smooth the transition.”

“Hey, now, Kakashi-kun,” Asuma says. “Isn’t that a little insensitive considering…”

“The Kazekage, their father, is dead,” I reply. “It’s just a matter of finding the body. Both Villages are in mourning.”

“Exactly,” Kakashi says.

Guy gives me a thumbs-up.

“Let’s give the girl the benefit of the doubt this one time,” Yamanaka Inoichi agrees. With him comes Shikaku Nara, head of the Nara clan, and Akimichi Choza, head of the third Noble Clan. Suddenly, I have the majority of Konoha’s top Jonins on my side.

All I have to do now is defeat Choko.