There is no magic.

 

No monsters.

 

No mythical beings.

 

That is the kind of world that Leon was born in.

 

In a world of modernity where technology is ever-growing and glossy buildings reach for the skies.

 

He didn't have to kill to get what he wanted. He didn't have to walk long hours to get to places. He didn't have to change his entire being for a singular person.

 

Leon was happy then.

 

He had friends, one of whom he would always remember out of spite.

 

He had a pet dog that he adored.

 

He had a mother who gave the best hugs.

 

A father who gave the best advice.

 

And a little sister who looked up to him, though still a brat.

 

He was in art school and was just a semester away from graduating.

 

It was winter, he was in an airplane, and he was going home for winter break.

 

That's about all he could remember.

 

He could no longer remember their names.

 

Not even their faces.

 

Sometimes he wonders if they are even real.

 

But he knows they're real.

 

He can feel it.

 

When he dreams, especially during the winter, he can remember more details of himself and his life back home. He could remember the things he enjoyed, the places he'd seen, and the people close to him. Every detail, every core memory, even his times of struggle. But when he wakes up and becomes 'Leon' again, those memories seem to fade away.

 

They keep slipping out of his fingers.

 

The longer he was in this world, the harder it was to remember.

 

Sometimes, he was so immersed in acting like Leon that it almost felt like he was becoming 'Leon' himself. It was times like those that scared Leon the most. The only thing that kept him sane was the system, who constantly reminded him of his prize to return home.

 

It was the only thing he could hold on to. 

 

A reality that told him that this wasn't his world.

 

This wasn't his body.

 

These were just characters, nothing more, nothing less.

 

None of this exists.

 

It's just a book.

 

Of course, that wasn't what Leon thought at first, though.

 

It was later on that he started thinking like that.

 

When he found himself getting too attached.

 

It was after Evelyn made that statement, a promise of 'We'll all be together forever.' (Refer to Ch. 17)

 

Leon found it cheesy but also heartwarming. It was a light, fuzzy feeling in his chest that brought a smile to his face. He, too, enjoyed all those times he had spent with them. Even the hard times and times that made absolutely no sense. So Leon did wish that they could be together—probably not forever, but together. But he knew that wasn't meant to be.

 

Evelyn's demise and Rey's struggles are vital for the story to proceed.

 

Leon could change that, though.

 

He could make it so Evelyn doesn't die.

 

He could make it so that Rey doesn't lose his smile.

 

He could make it so this story had a happy ending.

 

But was he willing to risk his life for them?

 

Punishment was death if he changed the story. However, if he saved up enough points, he could somehow avoid it. But how many times could he avoid death? There are so many major events that involve 'Leon,' and the majority of all those events have punishments that end with death. He would have to rack up as many points as quickly as possible. And that doesn't even cover the rest of the other punishments. Struck with lightning, cursed, blindness—literally,  just tortuous pain he would have to endure.

 

And even if he did somehow avoided all those punishments, was he willing to sacrifice his home for them?

 

The system wouldn't grant his wish if the story diverged. He wouldn't be allowed to go home. Leon would be stuck in this world forever.

 

Was he willing to go through that?

 

Not ever seeing his family or friends again?

 

Not seeing his home ever again?

 

Not being himself ever again?

 

He wasn't.

 

'They're just characters,' Leon would chant in his head, 'They're not real,'

 

He had heard before that the mind is a powerful thing. If he tells himself over and over again, every day, every second, he will come to believe it himself. And so he did. He built a wall of steel around his heart. Whenever there was a leak, he would drill it up again. Fix it to perfection. And not long after, Rey and Evelyn had become only characters in his eyes.

 

Just a protagonist and his one true love.

 

That was all they were.

 

His missions became a means to go home. No longer would he hesitate. No longer would he ask the system why. Leon would just obey.

 

Call him selfish and uncaring, but Leon never wanted to be in this world in the first place. Maybe if he were in a different situation, he might have liked to stay in this world. He might have wanted to help Rey and Evelyn.

 

But he wasn't in that different situation.

 

He wasn't struggling back in his world.

 

His home life was wonderful.

 

His school life was amazing.

 

His student tuition was paid for, so it's not like he was in any debt.

 

And he was just about to start his life.

 

There was nothing that could go wrong. It was just getting better by the day.

 

So, why did this have to happen?

 

Why?

 

A question Leon asked many times.

 

Sometimes, he liked to blame the airplane. Do people get isekai'd through airplanes? If so, he's never heard of one. And it's not like his airplane crashed, he was just sleeping. Well, it could have crashed in his sleep, but still, what did he do to deserve this?!

 

He wasn't bad. He's never gone to jail, never gotten into a fight, and he's never even done drugs. Hell, he hasn't even slept with anyone yet! He's a literal goody-two-shoes. So, why?!

 

Leon never got an answer.

 

As the years went by, Leon found himself wanting to cry and scream too many times to count. To rip himself out of this body and run away, but there was never any time. And it's not like he could anyway. He had to, needed to, perfect Leon's role in order to go home, only then would he allow himself to rest. So, Leon never let those tears shed and never let those feelings out. He held it in, bundled it up tightly, and buried it deep with the rest of his feelings.

 

But sometimes, just sometimes, he hoped that someone could see that Leon wasn't 'Leon.' That someone could see through his disguise and see that he was breaking inside. If someone could just reach out a hand to help ease his pain, even just a little bit. To touch the steel wall he's built around his heart.

 

But there was no one.

 

His acting couldn't have been that good, could it?

 

Had his smile not trembled even once?

 

Did his laugh even sound like a real laugh?

 

Did his eyes not hold a single trace of fakeness in them?

 

But he guesses his acting was just that good, wasn't it?

 

He did his job so well that not even his so-called 'best friend' even realized that Leon wasn't 'Leon.'

 

And so, those feelings of sadness and pain soon transformed into feelings of hatred. After every completed mission and every accomplished event, Leon could feel his hatred grow. He used to think that he knew what hatred felt like, but this was a feeling that he'd never felt before. A blob of darkness that consumes his every being, it sits heavy on his chest and constant in his mind, it drives him crazy, almost to insanity. And if Leon wasn't so careful with his every action, he might have already become the next villain of the book.

 

Sometimes Leon is even amazed at how much self-control he has.

 

How could anyone live like this?

 

Bundled up feelings and thoughts buried deep down yet constantly growing. Having no one there as a shoulder to cry on or just someone to complain to. It was always work, work, work. Endure, endure, endure.

 

How much can a person take until they break?

 

Well, Leon thought he could take it. It was only ten years, after all.

 

Besides, there was an end in sight.

 

At least there was supposed to be.

 

Present:

When the pain is too much to bear, the mind creates a reality that helps one live.

 

And so, here Leon is, living in his own wonderland, a safe place he created in his head. There, he could spend time with his family. Back in the world he misses. Back where everything made sense. Where he could be himself.

 

Though the faces he sees are a blur and even the background isn't all there, it is the familiar feelings in his chest that tell him all he needs to know.

 

Like here, where Leon sits at the dinner table. He knows that it's his sister who sits beside him, his father sits in front of him, and his mother sits beside his father. His dog is sleeping at his feet as they eat leftovers from yesterday. He may not know what he's eating, but he can tell that it's good. He can barely see the details of the dining room or the table, but he knows it's familiar. He knows how to navigate through it. And he knows there are supposed to be pictures on the wall, even though he can't see them.

 

These moments are just blotches of incomplete memories that he can barely remember, but it is his body, his heart, that recognizes the rest.

 

It is like a dream. Some things you can see clearly and other things you can't see at all, but know that it's there. Know what it's supposed to be.

 

Though sometimes, there are some things he could see as clear as day. Like that pizza he had. That pizza at a party. He could remember every detail of it. He could still taste it on his tongue. Though it's weird how he could taste it, he doesn't exactly remember eating it. Then again, he doesn't remember most things.

 

("You do know that Tomato Cheese Bread does go bad, right?" Seven asked skeptically.

"Leon likes it," Rey replied, "And we don't know if we will find it at the other side of the forest,"

Seven cried, ' . . I guess we'll be eating this for the next couple days,')

 

It's not like Leon doesn't know that he's dreaming or that he's living in his memories; he just chooses to delude in those moments. He knows he's still in the book. He knows he never made it home. This just feels better than living in that reality.

 

There are times when he wakes up too, though. He finds himself still stuck in another world, still alive, still breathing. Those times are the hardest. His chest squeezes tight and crushes him heavily. He cries and screams, but can't seem to run away. He's stuck, wings torn, and bleeding with nothing to soothe his pain.

 

There are familiar arms that hold him tight. A familiar scent that overcomes all his other senses. It numbs him and lulls him to sleep. But as much as it alleviates him, it also drives him mad.

 

He wants to get out of these arms and away from this person. He wants to tear and scratch, shout and scream, and sometimes even kill. Anything to get away from this person yet also torment him at the same time.

 

But he can't find the strength to do so.

 

He's so tired.

 

So exhausted.

 

So weak.

 

He prefers his dreams.

 

A/N: We're finally getting to Leon, our main character! (┬┬﹏┬┬)