'Give me a pill to take away the pain

I don't want to remember 

Cleanse me till my mind is like a while cloth with not one stain

Not one birthday, not one face, not one cheer filled December 

Bleach shall scour a cloth but what will scour my brain?

I must admit I'll miss those memories of moments tender 

Yet still let them slip through my fingers, my sands of time, my weathered grain

Leave no reamains, no paintings, no markers, nothing to stay or linger 

Just leave me with less than a name 

Leave me with a little less pain'

Kael brought down his sword in a final weary strike and dropped to the ground feeling frustrated, he was getting faster, stronger, even more skillful but it was all too slow, too insignificant. He needed strength now.

What if they came across another beast Gerald couldn't beat? What if Gerald got poisoned or perhaps they were swarmed and and and...

'Calm down...' 

Kael looked up at the stars but their beauty was lost on him, even if they survived the monsters they were still in grave danger. They had no food, in the beginning they had emptied out one of the caves dedicated to farming mushrooms and filled rags and skins with them. They supported this by assaulting the smaller animals with stones but their supply had only continued to dwindle. Worse was the problem of water, none of them could make water skins of any kind, so they had no means of carrying their water with them. Down in the caves water had dripped down stalactites and all a person had to do was join a queue but out here they could only rely on Kael's sense of smell and search for new sources of water at regular intervals had failed to find a convenient replacement. For now Kael sniffed out nearby brooks and streams on occasion but it was only enough to keep them going, inbetween drinks they endured long bouts of thirst.

'What do I do?'

If he could just figure out some kind of system... a steady supply of food and water would go a long way to improve the team's spirit and combat strength.  But no matter how much he time spent thinking about it the answer seemed to revolve around skills none of them possessed. 

'The animals do it so why can't I? I have a great sense of smell and I am smarter than some stupid animal! I just!'

Behind him, his tail swished and swooshed, uprooting tufts of grass in it's wake. It all seemed so funny to him, he had a deviation, he was free of his father and he was outside 'exploring' and yet all he could do was fret and worry, wasn't this what he'd dreamed of his entire life? So why was he feeling this way?!

Not far away from him Kip and Bloke exchanged a few words, from the stray words he was able to make out it seemed Kip would replace Bloke and cover the last shift. His ears told him that the large man busied himself by caring for the camp fire for a few minutes. Afterwards he took a leak and then plopped himself right beside Kael, a month ago Kael would have been disturbed by the lack of hygiene, a week ago and he would have dreaded the pointless monologue that was sure to come but now he was grateful for the distractions from his thoughts. 

"Ya sure do have a thing for stars mate."

"They are shiny." Was all he could manage.

"Yeah makes ya wonder how they taste, no?"

"Ermm...?" 

"Think about it, don't they look yummy?"

"To be honest no, not even a little."

"Yeah, well at least they would be better-"

"Than your moma's cooking..."

They both burst into laughter, it was obviously forced but it felt good, sorta... still he dreaded the silence he knew would come after the laugh. He need not have worried though even before he stopped laughing a low undulating sound made itself heard.

"Ugh gods, how could you... ugh gods that stinks"

Kip responded with a hearty laugh and Kael begun to laugh as well but try as he might couldn't seem to get far enough away from the scent. Upset he strolled around the camp, between the fart and his own distressing thoughts he simply couldn't sit still. 

Kip called out an apology of sorts and though Kael's mind was to distant to make out the words he offhandedly replied that it was okay, he didn't really smell it anymore.

'Wait! I honestly don't smell it so much anymore!'

For some reason the thought sent chills down his spine.

'The scent shouldn't have dispersed so thoroughly. I should still be able to smell it especially since I am making a conscious effort now.

The wind... I am upwind of the scent! Predators hunt by positioning themselves downwind. The wind masks their scent... the voth! I need to warn the others'

Kael was about to do just that when he stopped in tracks.

'No I can't know for sure smelt them maybe I even smelt it off one of the others not a real voth and my mark would move if they were going to attack but... this still wouldn't be the first time I slept through its moving. Calm down, calm down... Even if there are voth hiding out there I can't just warn the others, the wrong move could trigger an attack. I need to make certain first, after that... I'll, I'll think of something.' 

Kael slipped into the darkness, hoping his absence would go unnoticed by the his comrades and the possibly fictional voth. 

Despite trying his absolute best to be silent, Kael's feet seemed to find all the twigs and dry leaves on the floor.

'They'll hear me for sure.' It was a feat mental acrobatics to prevent himself from wording what would happen if that happened.  

Navigating the dark barely bothered him. For sure the way was crowded with ferns and shrubs and bushes and ferns and shrubs and bushes, a never ending barrier that scratched and hindered him but it was little different from what he had been doing everyday for more than a week now. Only now he was a alone... alone and searching for monsters.

'You can do this, you are a deviant remember?! You beat one of them before this and that was when you were injured, weaker and less experienced. I didn't even have this sword back then!'

He chose purposely not to think of how it might not just be one voth this time or how upset they might be about the one he did manage to kill. Then there was the voth that beat him and easily at that, the one that had been whole feet taller than the other voth almost like it was from another race altogether. Was that it was the taller voth the voth version of a deviant? No the weeping man had said most voth were deviants so that was unlikely. Needles to say his efforts at not thinking about snakemen related deaths failed spectacularly as always.

Kael's plan was simple- move in a wide arc that would hopefully place him behind the voth that is to say downwind from them so he would be able to smell him but not vic versa- and as it turned out it was somewhat sucessful. He found their scent less than half an hour into the endeavour and though he followed it for a while he could not find them. 

'They know I know, so why are running instead of attacking? Are they afraid of me?'

Unlikely but not altogether so, using his sense of smell he could tell there were only two voth nearby. Since Kael managed to beat one on his own, perhaps they feared they would be beaten if they engaged directly? If that was the case then they would have come in greater numbers, this was probably just a search party, there would be others.

'But how do I stop them from joining the main party?' If Kael could take out the scouts now it would reduce the pressure later but how would he go about doing that? Gerald! he has done stuff like this before he should know what to do.'

Kael took the quickest path he could back to the campsite, every breath he took was deep and probing, wind or no no-one would get within eight feet of him without his knowledge but would that be enough? 

Fear burned in his chest, fluttering like a caged agitated bird, it made his movements rushed and loud, and his head swiveling at the slightest sounds. It was one thing to be the one attacking but another altogether to be on the defense.

Above him the sky was a lighter shade of voilet, turning pink it was that time of the day between night and morning, when the sun's light had made it's presence known but was yet to chase away all the shadows. Funny enough his sight was worst at this time, his eyes couldn't seem to decide whether it was night or day so first things would seem to bright in way that hid features and then evetually when it actually gotp brighter, 0his eyes would colour the world too deeply, hiding parts of it behind pools of darkness. There was a time when it annoyed him,  then it had pleased him with it's unusual beauty but now it scared him andvmade him feel vunerable.

His vision was copied from the voth, they saw the world like this and maybe they assumed everyone did too, if there was a time for ambushes it would be now. He had to hurry. 

A rustle in a bush caught his attention for a second but after an initial glance he turned away, thinking it loosing it was just another sound, either of the forest or his mind but ultimately harmless. Then it rustled again, only louder and more incessant. The bush was shaking now, something was coming out, something was--  an oily black tentacle escaped his fingers and tore through the bush. 

Sqwaurk! sqwaurk, sqwaurk, sqwaurk!

Several tiny birds fled from the bush on shaky wings, they hurriedly disappeared behind the many trees of the forest. 

'Just some noisy birds. Be cool, be cool.'

The trip was short one, but Kael's fear had drawn out every moment of it making it seem longer than it was.  He had just emerged from the clearing when something came hurtling at his head. His body moved on it's own, he dove to his left and performed a perfect shoulder roll. Swoosh, it mised his head by inches.

"Kael?"

"Where you trying to kill me!?"

"Kinda was yeah... sorry about that mate." Kip held his heavy wooden cluh awkwardly.

"Where were you?" Gerald interjected, emerging from his hiding place.

Kael could not make out his expression beneath the hood of the half helm Gerald now wore, along with a matching set of dull red armor plates, but his tone was cold.

Kael glared at him, which he knew would fail to ruffle Gerald but he did anyway. 

"The voth have found us. I tracked down two that I think are scouts but I have no idea about how many others there are or how close their camp is."

Gerald scowled, Kip swore loudly and colorfully, Bloke began to to quiver, Barnel was playing with some grass, uncaring. 

"Why didn't you warn us before you left, quit thinking you are some kind of hero. You are just a pampered brat."

"Fuck you! I had to go out there alone because I didn't want to risk startling them! I risked my neck for you so don't give me that bullshit!"

"Be quiet already, it is bad enough that you let them get so close that they could watch us, now you have to shout so the whole place knows we are here as well." Gerald retorted disdainfully.

"Gods help me and you say I am the brat?! They came at us from downwind, I couldn't smell them and seeing as they were scouts with no intention of attacking my mark didn't warn me either. If you think surveillance is so easy why don't you do it yourself huh!?"  

"Mates, mates lets nah loose our heads yeah? Fighting ourselves ain't gonna help." Kip interceded, the large man had only grown more vocal since killing the hobgoblin.

"We should start moving." Gerald announced, his lips were curled mocking but Kael had no idea what he found amusing in all this.

"Move? Why would we do that?" 

"Because the we have somewhere to be or did you forget that?"

"But the voth-"

"Will surround us if we stay in this clearing and punch us full of arrows from a good distance. Better to get some trees between us and their shots... of course if you want to stay behind" he shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly "Who am I to stop you?"

Gerald began to walk of with everyone following behind. Everyone but Kael who couldn't help but wish he had dropped Gerald when he fled the bird storm. They should attack, chase back the voth! The snake men weren't so scary, Kael glanced around nervously and then made haste towards the others.

 

Their small party battled their way through the greenery, Kael, Gerald and Bloke had swords that they could have used to help clear their paths but didn't inorder to avoid leaving too obvious a trail for the voth to follow. Bloke's sword was actually the altered spider leg Gerald once used, he presented it to Kip after taking the greater goblin's sword for his own. Yet the large man had rightly pointed out that his arms were made to swing big blunt heavy objects and not small sharp light ones. So the sword was given to Bloke who earned it by virtue of being arguably sane where as the same could not be said for Barnel.

'Why would he force us to march shouldn't we be resting? Trying to build some of sort of shelter or even just trying to find some food before they starve to death. I mean its not like when the voth attack we will be able to run... and out here the forest will impede our movements more than theirs so fighting is no longer an option, no we can't run but be he can, the armour will protect him from stray arrows and voth even with their powerful legs might not be able to match him in an all out sprint.'

Kael's eyes narrowed but what could he do? Even if he warned the others the situation would probably only get worse. If Gerald was really ready to ditch them all and then would only use anything Kael said as an excuse to do so.

'If we could attack him together, injure him and then strip him of the armour... but we can't. He's too strong and I can't be sure that everyone will cooperate. Even if we managed to do it, it won't be without injuries. Nothing I can think of will improve our chances. I can only hope the voth get him soon after they are done with us. Maybe he thinks we will serve as a distraction and allow him to get away but the truth is the second he flees the others will loose their fighting spirit and I will be killed as well. Unless... he expects me to run as well! If we split the voth between us then maybe at least one of us will survive. He has the armour and stronger fighting ability but he is hungry, tired and heals slowly whereas I can survive for up to two months with just the blood and water I have stored using my ability, I can heal moderate and minor passively at a faster rate than his thanks to Rufus' bloodline and with my own ability to alter my physique given time and no interruptions I can heal even grievous wounds. With that and my sharp sense of smell as long as I can distance myself from everyone in the beginning I might make it. Of course then I'll be alone with no idea where to go but eventually I will definitely come across the scent of men and find my way back to civilisation, even if I don't it is better than dying immediately. But why is he so certain that the voth will beat us in a straight fight? No the question is why I think we even stand a chance? If the people we have questioned are to be believed several deviant led teams have tried running away and they have all failed! Why would we be any different?'

Kael refined his escape plan as he walked, in all honesty he was aware that there was very little point in planning at this stage, he knew far too little about the enemy, how many were they, how many would use bows and how many spears, how badly did they want him dead, were they like the one that dodged his tentacle or the one he killed? In the end it would all come down to luck. 

Kael was... sad, he hadn't expected himself to be sad, scared, angry, maybe even brave but sad? No that had not been expected and the reason for it was even more of a surprise, he didn't want to leave the others behind! Being his father's son he had no illusions that he was a good person or that he honestly cared about them as people but for the longest time he finally felt seen. These people saw him Kael, maybe they didn't know what they were looking at or they didn't understand him but when they looked at him they didn't see the Demolisher's son or a resource dump or even a chance to improve their living conditions but a person! True their reasons for traveling with him were selfish or in their own self interests but the same was true for him too. He was in the same boat with them, they were a team, his first team and for a little boy starved of affection and camaraderie, there was a sense of attachment, a sense of belonging, a 'what if?', that he couldn't dispel. 

A dry mirthless laugh escaped his lips, all his life he had waited for this for his chance to be his own man, a deviant, to make his own choices, and make a life for himself or dash his life to pieces but by his own hand and now it was here! So what if it was just one nightmare after another, so what if the brief respites he had enjoyed till now seemed like fates way of mocking him? This was it! This was what he had waited for, dreamed of! Kael could feel determination well up inside him, churning like boiling waters. He was going to do is this even no matter what 'this' was! He would show his father, show fate! That he wasn't just some deviant's son, he was worth something by himself deviation or no!

Gerald walked ahead of the group.

'What am I doing here?' He wondered. 'In the middle of no where leading a bunch of people that were definitely lying about knowing the way to civilisation, struggling through one trial after the other?'

But the alternative...the alternative was death, enslavement, it was monotony inflicted madness and an endless grey expanse. So here he was, wearing pants far too big for him, it was all he could do clutch them tightly and shuffle along. 

'I was not made for this.'

Whoever said leadership was a benefit, was either an idiot or a fool! Following was so easy! All you had to do was what you were told and so long as you did it well, so long as you were valuable, the leader would make sure you came out fine. Leading involved planning, deliberating and controlling on a scale that gave him headaches. The idiots couldn't even tell when you were looking out for them. 

He kept his gaze ahead, determined not to look back at Kael who held the rear. The march was an impromptu thing, there were a lot of things he should have done first, like getting a proper account from Kael about the voth, figuring out some way to reduce or eliminate that infernal method of escaping Kael's senses by using the wind or ensuring that Kael understood his role but the voth could have sprung the assault at anytime, better half a loaf than none. So he ordered the march... march, more like a shamble. The next problem had been Kael, how was he supposed to get the boy to understand what to do without alerting the others.

'Whatever, as long he isn't stupid or doesn't have a hero complex, he'll understand what to do when the time comes...'

Gerald didn't owe the boy anymore than this, sure the kid saved his life but only because he needed Gerald and who could say? Perhaps the boy would survive after all. 

All depended on two things, how many voth were there and how persistent would they be? 

The blue eyed orphan continued to force his way forward, unwilling to cut a path and leave too visible a trail for his pursuers, yet his hand rested on the hilt of a sword he had 'borrowed' from a now dead goblin. It made him calmer to place his hand on a hilt and he needed that right now.