And so I woke up in an alleyway. Was it day, or maybe night? I can’t tell. For I am a trash can. How did I get this way you might wonder. For I am a trash can, but before that I was a man. A human. My tale starts off the same way many other stories start off, generic, boring and always the same.
I think I was a salaryman working at a 9 to 5 job until suddenly I was hit by a truck coming through the window at over 90 miles per hour. Wait, or was it when I saw a cute girl or a kid and a car was about to run them over, a hero for a second and the gods suddenly blessed me with another life.
No. No. It wasn’t that. I think I’ve always been this way. A trash can.
Eating other people’s trash.
That’s all I’m good for at least, in the corridor or alleyway, whatever you think I might be sitting in. As what matters the most is you, the reader and all the awesome stories and adventures we can go on. But we can’t, because. I’m a trash can.
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Trash System Booting up…
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Wow, a level system. This writer must be really trying to milk these readers, but you’ll stay and continue reading anyways, right?
It even has its own level system! But how does it work?
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Trash Can LVL: 1
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Health 10
Mana 0
Strength 1
Dexterity 1
Luck 1
Intelligence 1
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Is the writer smart enough or artistic enough to make something better than this lousy table?
Probably not!
/* Writer’s Note: Hey I’m doing my best asshole, alright? */
You can’t be serious, at least give me 1000 hp. Maybe 999 INT or 999 LUK. I mean how are we supposed to get any viewers without a gimmick?
/* Writer’s Note: You’ll see… */
Hey, hey. I don’t like how you said that. At least tell me what’s going on.
Suddenly, someone walks over carrying a large trash bag out of a building, they walk over to trash can senpai as they throw the trash into him.
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New Object Received!
Trash x01
Experienced Gained 1
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Ah, ah. It hurts.
Hey! I gained an experience point.
The status sheet appears on the screen.
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Trash Can LVL: 1 1/10
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Health 10
Mana 0
Strength 1
Dexterity 1
Luck 1
Intelligence 1
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The hell is this? Only one experience? Hey writer do a better job! We’re gonna lose the viewers if you don’t give me at least 10 points. Give me 10 points!
We see a shot of the alleyway as the trash can continues to shout.
I know you can hear me! Stop pretending to ignore me and do something! The Little Trash can with an attitude continues to shout.
END OF CHAPTER
HEY! HEY! YOU CAN’T JUST END A CHAPTER LIKE THIS. WHERE'S THE CLIFFHANG-
Now this is good