Early night on a weekday. The rustic interior. Dim and yet cosy light. 

The counter seat. And I, all alone, already ordered my first glass.

I have always wanted to try this newly-opened bar that’s around the area. It has been very popular because of the beautiful bartender, who’s making my drink at the moment. 

Today is supposed to be a high-school reunion. It has been ten years since the class of 2012 graduated, and almost everyone in my class should be attending it at the moment. 

Since the reunion is somewhere in Central Tokyo, no one will see me here. It’s perfect.

 

After all, I can’t face her.

<Her?> The bartender asks as she is making my drink.

Yes, Mika. My old crush, who got married last year.

No, not a crush.  Mika was more than that.

It was as if we were in a relationship. Or at least that’s what I’d like to think. 

It was never an official one, but we were so close to each other. We attend the same university and even lived together for more than five years. 

That was why I got heartbroken when she told me that she was engaged to a man. He was introduced to her by her parents.

I suppose she saw no future in our relationship. We can’t even get legally married in this country, given that we are both girls…

 

With that, the first glass arrived on the table. House Special, as ordered as I’m curious about the purplish colour. 

As I drink it, I can taste the sweet alcoholic grape flavour that is similar to wine. The homemade grape liquor was pretty refreshing. A nice first drink as I continue the story to the bartender.

 

You see, I’m an office worker.
I might have made enough for a living. However, my job is getting more stressful.
One day, I was offered to take a promotion. I thought I need to ‘grow up’ and accept it. After all, I need to make more money to be able to take care of Mika.

I thought that it was the best choice for both of us. But as a result, I end up not making enough time for her.

Thinking back on it, it was the main reason for our split. Mika was not excited about the promotion, which surprised me at first. The fact that I always return late at night and left early did not help, we did not have time for each other throughout the weekdays. On the weekend I will be too drained to do anything with her, and she would complain when I end up doing it half-assed.

Not to mention that with increased responsibility, work had become so unpredictable. One day, I even miss our anniversary dinner because of an emergency at work.

When I returned, she had already packed her belongings and left.

We did not talk to each other for months until she messaged me about the engagement. I guess we did ‘break up’ at that time… We don’t even fight, it just… ends.

 

I did not even come to her wedding last year, so there’s no way I am meeting her today.

I feel bad for my other friends, though. Some of them came here from another city, and even the ones working in another country now. 

I suppose I can try inviting them afterwards. Hopefully, they will be available by then.

 

<Bring them here as well when you do.>
Hmm? Nice idea. Sure, I will keep it in mind.

 

I look around as I notice, the bar is not so full. I guess it’s still early, I practically come here at the opening hour.

Perhaps I am lucky that the bartender can listen to my story that way. She occasionally stopped to make the drinks for the customers at other tables, but as I am sitting on the bar stool facing her, she can keep listening to my story. 

Perhaps it was uncommon for someone to drink alone at this hour, but here I am. But, where else should I go?

Where do people typically go on these hours anyway? Probably dinner with their friends, which I am avoiding. Or going out with family. 

 

<What about your family?>

Eh- It’s another can of worms to open. I need to be less sober to talk about it, so one more glass. This time, something sour. On the rocks.

 

The bartender chuckles a bit as she took a Japanese bourbon and pours it into the whiskey glass that already has ice in it. She adds some lemon juice and light green-coloured syrup into the drinks, before shaking it gently to have the colour layers. As I taste it after, it was apparently a plum juice, which added to the freshness of the drink. And bourbon is 40% alcohol, so I get a bit tipsy as I start to continue my story.

My relationship with my family is also getting worse. They live in the countryside, but nowadays I don’t even feel like going back home every year. I only do it out of necessity, always taking the last train to, and first train from the village.

Why, you are asking? You see, I am their oldest daughter, who is still unmarried. Meanwhile, my younger brother is already expecting his second child. Good for them, I guess. They had always asked for grandchildren from me and had mellowed down when my brother had his. I suppose I owe him something for that.

 

I don’t get why my parents need to worry about me. It’s my own life after all. I am fine living alone, and I don’t ask anything from them.

I sometimes wish I can be left alone… I know that’s selfish of me, but…

Sigh, thinking about it makes me feel like I am a bad daughter… 

One more glass of anything, please.

I said as I finish the drink in a single gulp. I suppose I am too frustrated while talking about it… 

Not wanting to make me too drunk, the bartender makes something light for me. A mix of a liqueur that is popular with women because of its lightness, and pear juice to make it even milder. I stop talking for a while as I plant my face on the counter to rest… 

 

Not long after, one of the waitresses reminds me that it is the last order for food. What time is it, again? 

Eh? It's already almost 10? 

I suppose the reunion dinner is already over by now. It will be funny if they end up coming here. The probability is there since this bar is pretty popular at the moment. 

 

There are no empty seats inside the bar, however. They are a large group anyway, so it is going to be difficult to get a table. Good for me, I suppose. I can stay here a bit longer. 

I should order something again… Perhaps some snacks? I am starting to get hungry, the last time I ate was before coming here, so it had been a while. 

 

However, bar foods are usually for sharing as I end up asking the bartender about them. 

 

<We can prepare a single-person platter for you. Off the menu >

 

Ah, really? That's very thoughtful of you. I'll have one. 

As I wait for my food, I look around at the bar. Even the bar counters are occupied at this hour as the bar gets lively. 

The waiter arrived with a single-person plate, filled with french fries, chicken wings and small toasted sandwiches. 

 

I’d take a beer with this.

Eh? I’m on my fourth glass? A beer should be fine, don’t you think? I’m not that drunk yet.

A lighter one? I suppose I can try it. 

It’s a European brand that I don’t normally drink, tailored for women and the ones with a preference for lighter content. The beer tastes smooth and really goes well with the food served. I love the sauce of the chicken wings, as well as the fluffiness of the egg in the sandwich.

Come to think of it, food is the only thing that makes me happy in these past couple of years… I think I can call it a newfound passion since at times I’ll travel to a place on the outskirts of Tokyo to try the restaurants recommended for me. No wonder I am gaining weight… And now I am drinking my fourth glass… 

That’s it. No more drinks for me then…

I finish my food alongside the beer as I rest for a while. I still want to be in the bar though, and with the fact that the queue is getting longer, I figure that it is best to order something else. Something non-alcoholic, perhaps…

 

<What about a mocktail? It can help you sober up as well.>

Ooh, that’s perfect! I’d love something fizzy.

That’s… a melon float? But it tastes different from the one in a family restaurant.

Eh? Italian soda, and gelato? That’s new. I love the sweet taste, and it’s very creamy.

 

I wish the bar already existed two years ago… I’d have come here every day after the ‘breakup’. 

 

<I was still in a bartender course two years ago>

 

Eh? You were still in university two years ago? I thought we are in the same age. 

Must be nice, being young…

As I get into my 30s, I can’t even stay awake for long nowadays.

Like, I am already getting a bit drowsy now… What time is it?
Eh? Almost midnight? 

I think I got to go now. I am almost sobering up thanks to the mocktail.

Can’t believe I’m already here for hours… I am sorry for the inconvenience caused.

 

<It’s fine. You’re a customer after all. I’m happy to accompany you and listen to your story.>

Oh please, you’re too kind.

I’m going to make my payment now. How much is it?

 

<Here’s your bill>

This should be enough. The price’s quite reasonable, and the drinks are delicious.  I also enjoyed the platter.

 

<Thank you for your visit.>

No, I am the grateful one. I haven’t opened up like this to someone for a while, and it’s refreshing. Thank you for listening to my story, 

I pause, as I glanced at the nametag on her chest.

“Setsuna-san.”

 

My name is Furuya Eri. And I’ll visit here again.