Chapter 138 - insert explosion here: my pyrotechnic joke blew their minds, but the title burned out

🙞❤︎🙜

Mo and Lari looked up and saw the flying carriage headed towards the house.

Mo gasped and asked me, “Is it…?”

I nodded.

“Thank you, Teacher!” Mo ran off.

Lari and I walked instead of running since we knew it would take the carriage some time to arrive. We got there just as the vehicle landed.

“Kharli, you’re just in time to prep for the big party. I’m calling it the Explosion Extravaganza!” I said.

“This is great! I was worried you were going to miss it.” Mo gave Kharli a hug.

I gestured that we should all go inside the house. “No way, I need my best archer here to show off to the clan members.”

“Teacher, we need to decorate Kharli’s armor,” said Lari.

“Decorate?” asked Kharli.

“I’ll show you,” said Mo.

“Okay, I’ll prepare my own stuff, see you guys later.” I waved goodbye to the kids and went back to my courtyard.

***

“An explosion party?” The senior clan member gave me a look I couldn’t interpret.

The two clan members who were in guard rotation at Blossom Valley agreed to participate in tonight’s event as safety officers. I also wanted them to witness our firepower and analyze if the arrows we crafted were good enough for the clan to buy and use.

I cleared my throat and thrust the kids forward, presenting them to the clan members. “These three are my apprentices. We’ve been making some weapons and ammo. It’s time to test them out. Please let me know if you think the clan would be interested in buying our wares.”

This was all meant to prepare us for the upcoming World Boss Event, the hatching of the Demon Monarch from its egg. I needed to establish that our crafted items were useful.

“We can’t make buying decisions, but we can certainly send a report to the clan elders,” said the senior clan member.

The two guards were brothers, both tall, handsome fellows with high cheekbones and aquiline noses, giving them a look of proud severity. The only big difference between the two was that the older one had darker blue eyes.

We all made some small talk about the weather, and they joined us at the dining tent, although they politely refused to eat anything. They did have a few cups of ice water though, since proper hydration was very important in this hot climate.

The sun had gone down two hours ago. Here in the desert, with no trees to block out the view, the night sky was like a black velvet tapestry strewn with myriad glowing jewels. The silvery moon cast its light on the earth below, giving everything a romantic air. Or, at least, it would normally look that way. Tonight, I had installed plenty of lampposts and floodlights, so the whole place was lit up like a sports stadium when the home team was playing.

Deming and his assistants had prepped most of the food beforehand, but they were grilling some skewers at the cooking tent. The smell of it made my stomach growl. They kept the food coming, placing the cooked food on the buffet tables in the dining tent. We spent another hour eating and drinking before getting on to the main attraction of the party.

When everyone was done eating and the staff were putting away the dinner things, I got up to announce the start of the show. “Shall we get started then? Follow me to the weapons tent!”

Of course, it would have been too hot to party during the daytime, which is why I took pains to arrange a nighttime event. The air was pleasantly cool and dry.

The kids and I equipped our colorfully decorated [Training Armor]. Mine was red and purple. Lari had painted his yellow and red, while Mo had chosen blue, red, and green. Kharli’s was white with a few streaks of red and black. We looked like circus performers.

“Here, please try out our bows and arrows.” I distributed the regular [Wooden Longbows] and [Bronze Arrows] to the staff and the clan members. Then I waved a hand at the [Training Dummies] I had set up in front of the tent. “Shall we?”

Though these were System items, they were the lowest-level ones, so they weren’t very powerful. Bronze, even System bronze, was pretty soft, after all.

Still, the arrows made satisfying thwack thwack sounds as they hit the dummies and ricocheted off. The [Training Dummies] were impervious to damage, so I wouldn’t need to replace them after they were shot.

Archery was a basic skill in this world, and half the staff participated. Deming seemed particularly good at it.

We did a few rounds of archery, then I took out a very special arrow from my inventory. “Not bad, huh? But this hardly qualifies as an Explosion Extravaganza. Please stay here while I demonstrate.”

I walked forward to put some distance between my audience and the explosion I was about to unleash, the two clan members beside me.

However, before I could even string my bow, the older brother cleared his throat meaningfully. “Baroness, is this the first test? May I have the honor of the first explosion?”

Oh no, I really wanted to do it!

I reluctantly handed over the arrow. I suppose he felt it was safer if he tested it first. Since I had asked the clan members to attend the party to keep everyone safe, it would be churlish of me to refuse since they were only doing the task I’d asked them to do.

“Okay.” I explained how to use the item. “This is an explosive arrow. It won’t activate until you draw the bow and notch the arrow. It will cause an explosion when it strikes the target.”

Regular arrows could be enchanted using explosive talismans that could be bought from an NPC in Anwei. My careful questioning of Fengying had yielded the information that weapon stores did indeed sell talismans in this world, but they were extremely expensive and were under the White Tiger clan’s strict control. One couldn’t just waltz into a store and buy them, unlike in Adventure Incarnate.

Fortunately, I had 2,147,483,647 of them.

[Fury of the Fire Dragon Talisman:

A glowing piece of yellow paper inscribed with mystical runes in vermilion ink. This item contains within it the explosive might of a fire dragon's wrath. Consumable. Can only be used on ranged ammo.]

I simply clicked [Use] on the talismans in my inventory and then clicked on some [Bronze Arrows] to produce [Bronze Arrows +E]. This type of item combination gave no exp, but it was fast. The game graphics used the same image as the basic [Bronze Arrows], which meant that players had to carefully check the item’s name before using it.

“Lady Violet, please stand a little further away,” said the younger clan member.

We went back to the front of the tent where the others were and watched from there as the older brother strode forward, planted his feet apart, and let fly the first arrow.

Boom! Boom! Boom!

The arrow hit the farthest [Training Dummy] and exploded, bursting into a flash of red fire and white smoke with a loud booming sound that echoed across the desert. The arrow disintegrated completely. It was pretty impressive.

The audience clapped.

Kharli rushed towards me. “Me! Me! Can I please go next?”

“Let’s both try it.”

We both walked forward and waited until the two clan members were in place beside us before shooting at the [Training Dummy].

Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom!

We hit the dummies at almost the same time, and the sound of the twin explosions seemed to go on for a very long time.

I turned to the others. “Who else wants to give it a try?”

I was a little shocked when everyone cheered and half the household staff practically tripped over themselves to be the first to get the arrows.

“Hey, hey, no worries, I have plenty!” I chuckled as I handed out the arrows to my staff.

“Thank you, my lady! I can’t believe I can use enchanted arrows!” said Haoran, one of Deming’s assistants.

Yinuo, my maid, said, “Shooting arrows worth their weight in gold is such a thrill. This must be how rich people feel.”

The party was a great success!

Half of the staff shot arrow after arrow, while the rest lit a bonfire and sat around it on the picnic blankets I provided. They munched on snacks while they watched the show and joked around. Alcohol flowed freely among the watchers and, as the night wore on, they lost their inhibitions.

“I can make a bigger explosion!”

“How?”

“By farting!”

Everyone burst into laughter. Someone went back to the house and returned with some drums, a flute, and a pipa. I tried my hand at the drums, beating them in time to the explosions. Music, laughter, and jokes filled the air.

After midnight, when the archers were tiring, I banged on a large gong I got from the Cash Shop to get everyone’s attention. Then I stood on a chair and said, “And now for the climax of today’s party! Stand back, please!”

The ones who had been horsing around settled down, and everyone obediently walked back to the front of the tent.

I put the [Training Dummies] back in my inventory and then placed the tallest garden decoration that I could find, the [Scorching Spire], a wooden tower decorated by a red dragon coiling around its exterior, as far away from my position as I could.

Then I took out a cannon.