He awoke to a hand gently brushing through his curls. He lifted his head up to see Hireth leaning over him.

“Hireth!” he exclaimed, leaping up and smashing her into a hug. She was real. She was real and she wasn’t dead and she was here! “You’re back!”

“What?” Eric said sleepily from the other side of the bed.

“Oh, goodness,” the witch said, “I didn’t mean to wake you up. Go back to sleep.”

“Not a chance.” Eric also crawled out of bed to embrace her.

“I’m filthy, and I haven’t even taken a shower yet,” she objected. “I just wanted to check on you.”

“Are you alright?” Illius asked her.

“Yeah.” She nodded. “Lucy’s safe too. She made it across the border, and she’s in Noviad now.”

“Good.” Eric yawned.

“It’s past midnight,” the witch told them. “Go back to sleep. I’m going to go get clean and then do the same.”

Illius shook his head, refusing to let her go. “Stay with us. Just for a minute?”

“Sure.” Her face melted into a smile. “Just for a minute, though.”

~

Illius awoke to the warm feeling of arms wrapped around him. He felt rejuvenated from the day before—his thoughts had been so sluggish that comprehending anything hurt. Today though, his head felt much clearer. On his left he saw Eric with one arm around his, their hands still entwined. Then where…? On his right, Hireth’s curly red hair spread over the pillow. Her right arm had crept over his chest as she death-clutched all of the blankets in her left hand. Not that it mattered; he was on the verge of suffocating between the combined body heat of the other two.

“Are you awake?” Eric whispered.

Am I? Should I be? “Yeah.”

“Hireth took all the fucking blankets, didn’t she?”

“Yep,” he confirmed. The heat in his cheeks was definitely from overheating. Definitely.

“Do you want out?”

“Yeah.”

“What’s the password?” Eric smirked at him.

“Please?” Something told him it wasn’t going to be that easy.

“Definitely not. But politeness is encouraged.”

“Just give him a good shove,” Hireth suggested from the other side.

Eric’s head popped up from the pillow to glare at her. “How long have you been awake?”

“Since some dumbass was like, ‘are you awake?’” she said, her voice scratchy. “I’m an incredibly light sleeper.”

“Probably came in handy when you were the Witch of Dotric, huh?” Eric seemed like he was in one of his moods this morning.

“That does it.” Hireth reached across Illius and shoved at Eric. He in turn grabbed Illius’ shoulder. Why am I always in the middle? The witch gave one final shove, and Eric hit the floor. “Ha! That’s what you get!”

Eric yanked the pillow from underneath Illius’ head and threw it at Hireth. She batted it away, only to smack it right into Illius’ face. Seriously, why me?

“Sorry!” Hireth called, leaping from the bed. He pulled the pillow off his head to see Hireth had her nephew pinned on the floor, sitting on his back.

“Oof,” Eric objected. “You’re heavy.”

“Are you implying I’m fat?” she teased.

“Ooh, my back!” he groaned dramatically. “I won’t be able to reach anything on the top shelves for you.”

“Fine.” She stood up. “I desperately need a shower anyway. Anyone find any clothes around here yet?”

“We literally slept the second after Kaz brought us here.”

“What a bunch of lazy bones.” She huffed and started rifling through the dresser drawers to the right. Then, she held up a giant pair of pants. “Think it’ll fit?”

Eric just laughed. She threw the pants at him and kept rummaging. After she found something she deemed satisfying, she left them alone.

Illius just sat there in bed, trying to piece together the day before.

“You good?” Eric asked.

He didn’t honestly know. Yesterday… Eric had made him breakfast, and they were going to meet outside, and he didn’t know where that conversation was headed—but he knew where he wanted it to go. Then, the attack came out of nowhere, and… His magic. His magic was… He reached for it, and it sprung to life, zipping through his body. When he let go, it sank back down. Eric watched him closely. “Sorry,” Illius said. “I just—it’s really quiet this morning.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” Eric told him. “Yesterday was… something.”

“That’s putting it lightly,” Illius muttered. Kaz hiding them from Lemuel and revealing this underground cave place—it overwhelmed him just to imagine it all. “Do you think we’re safe?”

Eric sat down beside him. “I think we’re as safe as we are anywhere before we reach Noviad. Hireth is with us, and she’s the scary Witch of Dotric.”

“Allegedly.” Illius gave a small smile.

“We’ll get her to admit it if it kills me,” Eric declared.

“She might.”

“She might,” Eric echoed. He glanced at Illius for a moment, seemingly conflicted.

“What?” Illius asked.

“What do you remember from yesterday?”

“Love you.” Shit. Did I say that or dream it?

“Not much,” he lied. “I’m still trying to put pieces together.”

“Oh. Yeah, you were pretty out of it after you released all that magic.”

“If you feel the same way—you should tell him.”

“I—” The words died in his throat. He just couldn’t. What if Eric changed his mind? Yesterday, Eric had seen his magic; he knew Illius wasn’t human. He’d known from the beginning, though.

“You what?” Eric leaned even closer.

His eyes flicked to the other man’s lips. I want to kiss you. “I—just don’t know what to do.”

“About what?”

Aion, he was so close. So close, Illius could reach out and… What do I even really want? The scene flashed through his head from yesterday. The inquisitors pinning Eric on the ice, ready to shove a spear through his back.

“They almost killed you,” he whispered, glancing up to meet Eric’s gaze. Those crystal blue eyes had almost been left lifeless on the frozen river. Because of me.

“You saved me.”

“I put you in this mess.”

“No.” Eric shook his head. “This was my choice.”

“I just…” don’t want to lose you. Why? Why am I such a coward?

“You just what?” Eric teased him, his breath gently blowing on Illius’ chin.

Anyone else and Illius would feel the need to pull away, but Eric somehow always brought out this desire to get closer. He didn’t know what to say. Hireth said all the things everyone was afraid to say, but he couldn’t. He wasn’t a fearless witch. No, Illius was just a terrified therian, and he didn’t know what he was doing or what to say. I love you. I want you. Please don’t leave me. I won’t let you die because of me. Please stay.

He leaned forward ever so slightly and met Eric’s lips with his own. The other man froze, and Illius pulled away, scarlet drenching him. What am I thinking? Eric’s pupils were so large they almost covered his blue irises.  

“I’m sorry!” Illius skittered back from him, trying to untangle himself from the blankets, so he could flee this embarrassment.

Eric blinked twice and then leapt from the bed. “One second.” He shut the door to the bedroom and then whipped back to face Illius, his expression still shocked. Illius stood next to the bed awkwardly, Eric having cut off his escape. Should I still try to leave?

“I’m sorry,” he tried again, this time in a whisper. He’d fucked everything up. He’d read everything wrong. He’d ruined the one friendship he had.

Eric strode back over to Illius, taking his face gently in his hands. Then, Eric kissed him, and his senses exploded. He tangled one hand in Eric’s hair, probably completely fucking it up. But he didn’t care. For a moment, he parted his lips, seeing if Eric would do the same, and… Fuck, he could get lost in Eric’s embrace. With that, Illius closed his eyes, focusing on the way Eric smelled and tasted. Eric broke away, his eyes frantically searching Illius’ face.

“You okay?” Eric asked breathlessly.

Illius nodded.

“Okay, I’m just going to freak out for a second. I’m good, I promise.” He ran a hand through his hair nervously. “You were talking about me, yesterday?”

I love you. Illius gave a quick nod and then turned away.

“I was going to ask you at the river, and then…” Eric trailed off.

That scene flashed in his eyes, as the spear reached for Eric’s back, and he pulled the other man closer. “I can’t lose you,” he whispered into Eric’s neck.

“You’re not going to.” He squeezed Illius tightly, then released him. “You won’t.”

Illius took a deep breath. “I—I’m—thank you for breakfast yesterday.”

“Yeah, of course.”

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” he blurted out, “and I’m a therian.”

“I don’t either.” Eric shrugged. “Despite what Hireth says, it’s really hard to find other people who are… gay—and if you ask the wrong person, you’re dead.”

Illius had to ask, even as he scratched and ripped at a bit of loose skin on his index finger. “What… what about my horns? I can’t… get rid of them.”

“Why would you want to?” Eric looked disturbed.

He just stared at Eric. There was so much…

“Why?” Eric demanded again. “Why would you ever want to get rid of those adorable little horns on your head?”

He gave a frustrated sigh—why didn’t Eric understand? “Because I want to be with you! And as long as those stupid things are on my head, I’m going to ruin your life.”

“You’re not—”

“I will!” Illius burst out. “You know what’s even worse than being a therian? Loving one. My mother gave up everything for me. People don’t understand. Maybe someone can’t help being a therian, but the people who choose to associate with therians? That’s a choice. A conscious decision, and… no one chooses that.” He knew that. He’d known it all along.

“I do.” Eric didn’t hesitate. “I choose you.”

Illius just stood there. He wanted—he wanted this to be real so badly, but he was going to wake up and—

“Illius.” Eric rubbed his hand. “I said I didn’t care. I don’t.”

“You don’t, but everyone else will.”

“Hireth doesn’t.”

“She’s—”

“Twig doesn’t.”

“They’re—”

“Look at that, all three people you know don’t care.” Eric smirked at him.

“I know more than three!”

“Your mother didn’t care either,” Eric mused.

“No.” Illius hung his head. “But I changed her life so much, and… it would have been so much easier if she’d never had me.”

Eric just gave him a sad look. “Please don’t talk about yourself that way. Just because you’re a therian doesn’t mean you’re… a monster. You deserve every bit of happiness that everyone else does.”

“You can’t deny that it’s true, though,” Illius whispered.

“Yes, I can!” Eric argued. “They’re wrong about you. You’re not a monster, and if you are, we’re all monsters here for one reason or another. I’m gay. Hireth’s the Witch of fucking Dotric. Kaz’s some exiled prince or some such. Don’t know about Twig, but they’re a tree, and I can guarantee you they have a shady past.” He paused. “Hehe. Shady. Get it?”

Illius shook his head but did chuckle a little.

Eric brushed his fingers along Illius’ cheeks. “I want you so badly—do you think I give a fuck what anyone else thinks?”

No. He very much doubted Eric gave a single fuck. Illius hesitated, then took a deep breath. “You just can’t take it back. If we… were together… You can’t take that back. You’d always be looked at as the guy who… fucked a therian.”

Eric smirked. “Yes, I would.”

Illius gave up. He loved this madman. Laughing, he shook his head.

“Can I hold you?” Eric asked.

“What?”

“Can I? May I?” He fumbled for the right words. “Can I hold you?”

“Sure?” Illius hesitated.

Eric crawled back into bed and then held out his hand.

Illius took it, letting himself be pulled into Eric’s embrace. “I’m… uh…”

“Uncomfortable?”

“No. I mean…” He grabbed Eric before he could scoot away. “I’m just… I’m probably going to be really bad at this. But, um, I’ll learn?”

Eric chuckled. “Well, Step One is to take your shirt off.”

Illius froze. “Umm…”

The other man’s expression turned into a grin as Illius frowned at him. “I’m kidding, Step One is, don’t do anything you’re uncomfortable with.”

“Mmhmm.” Illius didn’t believe him.

“Unless you liked the first ‘Step One’ better, in which case, I like your style.”

“Of course you do,” Illius mumbled.

Eric feigned a gasp. “Was that sass I detected?”

“You rubbed off on me.”

“That’s Hireth,” Eric said. “I am a perfect gentleman.”

“Step One, take your shirt off?” Illius raised an eyebrow as he snuggled deeper into Eric’s chest.

“We don’t have to do this.” Eric tapped Illius’ shoulder with his fingers. “If it’s too much.”

“No.” Illius burrowed even closer. “’S nice.”

Eric was silent for a moment before he asked, “Are you… okay with the idea of intimacy with another man?”

Illius froze. Of course that expectation would come up—and he would be lying if his mind hadn’t wandered down that path before, but he could barely holding it together already. “Now?” he croaked out.

“No!” Eric said. “No, I should have specified. I’m not—I’m not expecting anything anytime soon, I just… wanted to know your intentions? If there’s something you’re not comfortable with or something?”

“Someday,” Illius whispered.

“Okay.” Eric’s arms wrapped around his back.