It's been almost a week since I last saw Ye-jun, and he hasn't responded to any of my texts. I don't know what I did wrong, but I can't help but feel like he's been avoiding me. We had such a great time at the concert, and I was looking forward to our next hangout.
I've been trying not to think about it too much and have been keeping busy with my artwork, but every time I look at my phone, I feel a sense of disappointment. I don't want to seem clingy or needy, but I miss Ye-jun's company.
I go through the rest of my day, trying to shake off the feeling of disappointment that has been lingering since earlier. As I walk home, my mind wanders and wonders if Ye-jun still wants to be partners in our project. The cold doesn't even register as I'm lost in thought.
Upon entering my apartment, I see my roommate sitting on the couch eating what appears to be top ramen. He greets me with a simple "Hey," but doesn't seem to register my presence as he's still engrossed in whatever he's watching on TV.
I quickly pass by him, not in the mood for small talk, and head to my room. Lying down on my bed, I can't help but feel uneasy. I hate feeling like this. It's times like these that make me question why I even bother having friends. Being alone seems like a much simpler and less painful option.
Not wanting to lie in bed and risk falling asleep, I decide to get up and start painting. Grabbing an empty canvas, I begin to paint without a clear destination in mind. Only using dark colors, reflecting my current feelings of loneliness.
I lose track of time, and suddenly realize there is no more canvas left to paint on. I stand up from my stool and step back to observe the finished product. A painting of a desolate path with dimly lit street lamps and a heavy rainfall. It's as if there's no end in sight, mirroring my current state of mind.
Taking a deep breath, I head to the bathroom to wash off the paint off my hands. "Damn, this is really hard to get off," I mutter to myself as I scrub my hands. Despite my efforts, the paint refuses to budge. I eventually give up and head back to my room, hearing a phone ringing in the hallway.
As I approach, I realize that it's my phone ringing. I rush to my bedroom and see that it's Ye-jun calling. Without a second thought, I answer, "Hello?"
"Oh, hey, Ernest!" Ye-jun sounds surprised on the other end.
"Hi, Ye-jun.”
"Sorry for calling so late," Ye-jun says.
"It's okay. Are you okay?" I ask.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just wanted to check in, I guess," Ye-jun replies and continues with, "So, what are you up to right now?"
"Just at home," I reply.
"Do you want to hang out?" Ye-jun asks, surprising me.
"Uh, right now?" I ask, a little unsure.
"Yeah, I was thinking we could grab something to eat if you're hungry," Ye-jun suggests.
"Okay, I guess we can do that," I agree, feeling a mix of nervousness and excitement.
"Really? Great! Do you know the Waverly Diner? They're open 24/7," Ye-jun says.
"I'm not sure, but I can meet you there," I reply.
"Perfect. I'm already out, so I'll be there in about 6 minutes. I'll grab us a table," Ye-jun says, sounding enthusiastic.
"Okay, I'll probably be there in 15 minutes," I say, feeling a sense of anticipation.
"Cool, I'll see you soon," Ye-jun says, and we hang up.
I hang up the phone, feeling both nervous and excited. What just happened? I need to get ready quickly! Should I take a shower? No, I won’t have time for that. I quickly change out of my lazy clothes and throw on a pair of jeans and a beige hoodie that I hardly ever wear. I rush into the bathroom and brush my teeth. My curls look frizzy, so I try spraying some leave-in conditioner in hopes that it will help maintain the curls. I take out some basic body spray and try not to spray too much. I take one last look in the mirror, "This is as good as it's going to get," I tell myself with a sigh.
I quickly head out of the apartment and make my way to the Waverly Diner. As I walk, I can't help but feel apprehensive and eager at the same time. What does Ye-jun want to talk about? Did he have a change of heart about our project? Or maybe he just wants to hang out and catch up?
I arrive at the diner and spot Ye-jun sitting at a booth near the window. He's dressed in a black hoodie and a black peacoat, appearing casual but still looking impeccably stylish. I see Ye-jun waving me over and approach the booth where he's seated.
Ye-jun's smile puts me at ease and I return it, trying to appear calm. Despite my attempts to avoid eye contact, I can feel his gaze fixed on me, and I struggle to think of something to say.
Finally, Ye-jun speaks up. "So, uh, have you been here before?"
"No, this is my first time," I reply, looking around the restaurant. "It's nice, not too crowded."
The waiter comes over and takes our order. I'm not even that hungry, so I pick the first thing I see on the menu, which is cheese fries. After the waitress leaves, Ye-jun asks, "So, how's your day been?"
"Oh, uh, it's been fine. Just school and then I went home."
"Oh, that's cool. Do you live close by? I mean, close to the school?" Ye-jun asks. We haven't talked about this kind of stuff before.
"Hmmm, yeah, it's about a 10-minute walk. Uh, what about you?" I don't want him to know where I live since it's not the nicest place.
"Yeah, I live at the Heritage Apartments." He lives in those apartments as a college student? He must be rich!
"Oh, wow, those places are pretty nice, right?"
"I guess so. My parents picked them out when I moved here." Ye-jun sounds kind of annoyed saying this.
"Where are you originally from?" I know his name isn't a typical English name, and he doesn't normally talk about himself.
"Korea."
"Oh! Really? Sorry, I don't mean to sound so surprised, but your English is very good."
Ye-jun chuckles at this. "No, it's okay. My parents paid a lot of money for me to get a good education, so here we are." Ye-jun looks out the window, looking disgruntled talking about this.
"Hmm, it sounds like you didn't like the education."
"Well, I mean, I appreciate the education and opportunities it has given me, but it was definitely not my choice. My parents had a very specific plan for my life, and I just had to go along with it."
"I see. That doesn't seem fair to you," That's kind of sad. I mean, I'm not very close with my parents, but they still allowed me to pick my major, so I can't imagine how Ye-jun feels.
"Well, if you had Korean parents, then perhaps that would be the case for you," Ye-jun is still looking out the window, and I can see a vein slightly forming on his neck. I should probably drop this. I don't want him hating me.
"I'm sorry. You're right. I wouldn't understand." I've never been put in that kind of situation, and I can tell this seems to upset Ye-jun.
Ye-jun quickly looks over at me. "No, sorry. I wasn't trying to be defensive. I guess I just don't talk about this kind of stuff with others often..."
Ye-jun is hanging his head, staring at his hands. I can tell he genuinely feels bad, which in turn makes me feel sympathetic for him. It's not so much pity, but it makes me think that even popular and attractive people have their problems too. Without much thought, I reach out and place my hand on top of his. "It's okay, I'm here if you need to talk about this kind of thing," I offer. Ye-jun looks up at me with surprise in his wide-open eyes. His hands are cold, slender, and feel nice. I try not to dwell on it, but touching his hands makes my stomach flutter.
Ye-jun looks down again at his hands and starts chuckling. What's so funny? I'm trying to be nice, I think to myself.
"Sorry, Ernest, I'm not laughing at you. I just noticed the paint on your hands."
I take my hand away from him quickly, feeling self-conscious about the paint I couldn't get off my hands. "I tried washing it off, but it's from a new paint set I bought."
With a wide smile, Ye-jun replies, "You're a true artist, aren't you?"
I can't help but laugh at this. One moment we were having such a serious conversation, and now I can't hold back my laughter because of some dumb paint on my hands. I keep laughing, really trying to hold it back, but now my eyes are watering and Ye-jun is laughing along with me.
"Your laugh is adorable!" Ye-jun shouts with laughter.
"Stop! You're going to make me laugh more!" I exclaim.
"What? I think it's adorable, and your laugh is making me laugh more!"
"We probably look like maniacs right now!"
"And I'm totally okay with that," Ye-jun replies, laughing.
After calming down a bit from our laughter, I begin to get my composure back when suddenly Ye-jun speaks up in a more serious tone, "Thank you for listening, Ernest. I really appreciate it."
I'm a bit thrown off by this, but in a good way because seeing Ye-jun smile makes me smile, "Of course, anytime."
There's a moment of silence between us. I don't mind the silence, though, because just being in Ye-jun's presence and seeing him happy is worth it. As we sit there for a moment, I start thinking about the next time we can hang out... "Hey, I was thinking...would you maybe want to come to an art exhibit with me next week?" I'm hoping Ye-jun says yes to this. I know a lot of people might find going to an art gallery boring, but it's something that I enjoy and I want to share that experience with Ye-jun.
"An art exhibit? I'm not much of an art person, but I'd be down to go," Ye-jun responds.
"Great! I think you'll really enjoy it. There's this one piece I've been dying to show someone. It's really incredible." I can't believe he really wants to go!
"Well, if you say it's that amazing, then I definitely need to see this painting," Ye-jun says.
"I'm sure you'll appreciate it," I say to Ye-jun.
We continue the rest of the night talking about school and art. Ye-jun genuinely seems interested in what I have to say, and he's always laughing and smiling. I can't help but feel myself opening up more to him than I have with anyone before.
