Chapter 12: No one has ever done anything like this

2023 December 24, Sunday

Kirk woke from a difficult night’s sleep. Mary had spent a lot of time with him this week; apparently, classes were out and all their sponsors were spending more time with them. He’d rather have spent that time with Sophia, but she hadn’t even been in the basement much. She said she had been doing some voice lessons and practicing makeup, and other things. When she was downstairs, she was dressed at least as girly as he had been last Sunday.

And truth be told, he had worn the leggings and tunic two days ago, despite — or perhaps because of — Randal. Mary told him she was quite proud of him for doing it. He had told her about the voices that had been arguing in his head. He told her again how scared he really was. Admitted that a part of him wanted this, that it was happening, that fucking surgery was a part of it. Kirk told her about his mum, about the asshole who stabbed her and the emergency surgery that had failed to save her.

He told her about the dress-up incident, unable to hide from the voice that kept screaming about it at the back of his head. The truth was he had initiated the dress-up game. No one had forced him. His mum had said he looked cute; his dad had just drunkenly shouted that evening.

She finally told him that his dad was doing okay; he had a bit of an initial rough patch, but he was actually pulling out of it, all of it. He had been attending meetings; he’d only been sober a couple of weeks so far, but he was trying. He had even started seeking employment again. Kirk cried when she told him, unsure how to feel that his dad couldn’t manage to pull himself out while Kirk was still in the picture. She’d hugged him tightly as he cried, and talked about the neglect and the shouting, the descent into the bottle until one day he never returned from it.

He told her he sometimes wished that all this would just end, that he would just cease to exist. Not that he thought people would be better off without him, or that he had a specific desire to end things. But that day to day life was a slog, and he was so tired of all of it. She continued to hold him. Continued to not reject him. He told her every horrible thing he had done, how he regretted all of it. The captions, the times he messaged people inappropriately, just as creepy as the people who messaged him. How the reason his girlfriend had left was she found his captions and laughed at him, and told their friends. Her friends, really — he had never had much of a circle of his own.

Mary just quietly held him through it all. And when he finally ran out of things to confess, and his tears had stopped flowing, she told him. The full truth.

She told him about her past life as a gunpowder boy. How she had felt that she had been filled by others with gunpowder. About how this place had picked her up because she was being increasingly violent and filled with guilt. About how she had continued to be violent down here. How she had handled disclosure. How she had handled the truth. That all the sponsors were like her in one way or another. Somewhere he found more liquid to produce tears with. They had all done this? All of them? Did Sophia know?

Of course Sophia knew, he thought. She had appeared at his door after dinner that evening, smiling faintly. They had talked quietly about how things were, and where they were headed. She told him she wasn’t supposed to, but showed him the pictures from last Sunday of her dress choices for the party. He told her they were all adorable on her, and he wasn’t lying. He was, in fact, jealous a bit. More than a bit, really. She must have seen some of that in him; he thought he hid it well, but she told him he could still come, that Indira had agreed so long as he came as a girl. He rejected it again, denied he had interest, and then asked her to leave. She did so quietly, smiling faintly as she left.

Yesterday morning was a feminism lesson. He still had trouble focusing on them, but at least when Indira called on him, he knew some answers. Some of them gave him pause, mostly about his own life and not that he thought the answers were wrong. Derek had been doing better too, and Owen had been doing better at his science lessons, and Sophia and Kirk had been willing to associate with them more. A bit. The asshole trio were still a bunch of assholes, but quieter. They kept their grumbling to their group. Randal no longer bothered with insulting Sophia. He had tried a couple of times the day before to harass Kirk, but he had stood his ground, albeit with Sophia and Mary on hand, and Randal actually backed down. He was shocked.

After lunch this morning, they were left to their devices, and Kirk and Sophia decided to hang out in her room. “So when do you have to go get ready?” he asked when the door was shut. He tried to sound happy for her, but he knew he flubbed it.

“Oh, uh, I’ve got a couple of hours yet,” Sophia said, smiling faintly as she sat on the bed. “Stephanie’s going to come get me.”

“I uh, have fun, and remember, you promised a picture!” Kirk said, grinning, sitting beside her.

“So long as it doesn’t wind up as one of your captions!” she said, giggling, leaning into him.

“It won’t. Never again,” he said resolutely.

“Then of course I’ll show you pictures!” Sophia said, smiling broadly. “So! How do you want to kill time? Stephanie told me there’s a new lesbian Christmas movie on the server.”

“Ooh, is it aggressively terrible?” Kirk said laughing.

“I can’t imagine there being one that isn’t,” Sophia said, giggling. “But we’ll never know until we try!”

“Bring it on then!” Kirk said, laughing, and Stephanie got up and got it playing on her computer. She sat back down next to him, and they leaned into each other as they had gotten used to doing, and just let time pass. Laughing and occasionally joking about how terrible it was, and by the end of it, both him and Sophia had tears at the corners of their eyes. “Oh to be lesbians in love at Christmas,” Kirk sighed as the credits rolled.

“Yeah, it would be nice, and supportive family! How I wish…” her voice trailing off, a frown forming.

Kirk didn’t really know how to respond, so he moved his hand over to hers and put it on the back of it. “I’m… I’m sorry they weren’t,” he said quietly. “They are missing out on knowing a pretty great girl.”

Sophia smiled at him. “Yeah, they are,” she said quietly and looked away from him, and used her other hand to wipe away a tear, before turning back to smile at him.

There was a knock at Sophia’s door, and even Kirk knew Stephanie’s special knock now. “Okay if I come in?” Stephanie asked.

“Come on in, Steph!” Sophia called brightly.

Stephanie opened the door and Kirk realized she had Ellen with her. “Hello, Kirk,” Stephanie said, smiling at him. “Do you mind if we take Sophia away for the rest of the day?” They weren’t hiding her name around him, or her pronouns. It was good not to have to try to keep that straight in his head anymore when they were alone.

“Oh, sure, have a, uh, have fun at the party.” He stumbled out and got up off the bed and went out into the hallway. He waved bye to Sophia and headed back to his room and collapsed on his bed. He wanted to scream. Jealousy filled him. Why am I jealous, Kirk thought. I’m not trans, I’m not a girl — there’s no reason to be jealous! And yet, he was.

He lay there for a while, alone, half expecting Mary to show up with hot chocolate or something, but when no one came, he rotated upright and put on one of the vampire shows Sophia had gotten him hooked on.

***

Sophia had asked about maybe doing her transformation in the basement — so she could have an excuse to stop by and show Kirk — but Stephanie had insisted the lighting in the basement was awful for makeup. So, instead Sophia led the way, skipping through the decorated dining hall, the garlands she had helped hang, the tree she had helped string popcorn for, it was beautiful. She was a bit sad the boys didn’t get a tree, but the sponsors had denied her when she asked if they could have one, even a fake one. They had told her that the boys and her would be getting presents tomorrow, although what they wouldn’t say.

This was the first Christmas she’d felt excited about in years. Since before the incident. Sophia shuddered briefly at that memory, but let it go as she unlocked the door to her first floor room and stepped inside. The small room was grand by the standards of her bedroom downstairs, but not as fancy as Ellen and Stephanie’s room up on the third floor. Stephanie followed her in, Ellen had split off to help organize the second years in both cooking and getting ready as they passed the dining hall.

“I’ll be right back out!” she told Stephanie as she headed into the small bathroom. Sophia finally was feeling like her real self and took her time in the shower; her face felt clear of hair, and she luxuriated in the water, enjoying the sensation on her small breasts and wishing her hips would come in more. She even grabbed the razor and went over her legs. She had done it once this week after Rabia cleared her to stop binding her foot. It meant she didn’t have as much to go through, but like her facial hair, it was notably visible if it was grown out at all. Stephanie told her they could probably arrange some laser hair removal for her body too, so long as it fit Holly’s schedule.

She felt wonderful as she worked moisturizer in and put her towel around her chest, giggling at herself in the mirror. The bruises lingered, as bruises do, but they were much paler and smaller now. She wrapped her hair in another towel and went back out into the room. Stephanie was sitting on the couch reading something on her phone and looked up and smiled widely at her. “I set some under things out for you,” Stephanie said. “Nicer than your usual stuff — it’s your big debut, after all!”

Sophia saw the bundle on the bed and blushed hard. “Wow, those are… am I… can I?” she asked quietly.

“You’re allowed nice things and to think you look sexy in them,” Stephanie said, smiling approval. “I know a few cis women believe it or not, and yes, they can and do find themselves attractive and like to get dressed up too.”

“Okay…” she said, picking up the bundle and returning to the bathroom. She dropped her towel and quickly put on the provided knickers and bra. They were matching, lacy, and red. They looked quite stunning, and the bra had a bit of padding built in, saving her from using the chicken cutlets Stephanie had given her the week before. When she had them on and had put on the stockings, she stepped out in the room and Stephanie politely looked the other way, while she threw the red dress on.

Stephanie turned back and smiled. “You already look beautiful, Soph,” Stephanie said. “Kirk’s a fool for not joining you.”

“I uh, had an idea,” Sophia started, hesitating a bit. “Maybe not quite as risky as showing him myself directly?”

“Want to send him a picture?” Stephanie asked, practically reading her mind.

“Yeah, I know I can’t send him one on Consensus directly, but possibly through Mary?” Sophia asked.

“Perhaps,” Stephanie said neutrally. “We’ll give Mary the option if she feels he would be receptive, okay?”

“That sounds fair, yeah,” Sophia said and nodded.

“But first, missy, we have to get you looking absolutely gorgeous!” Stephanie giggled. “Sit!” she commanded and pointed at the stool. Which caused Sophia to descend into a fit of giggles that took her a solid couple of minutes to resolve before she could sit down at the vanity.

“I can do the foundation myself, okay?” Sophia said, trying to sound more confident than she felt.

Stephanie nodded. “Yup, go do it!” she said, giving Sophia a thumbs up sign.

Sophia felt nervous at first, she had only done this a half dozen times now, and her hand was shaking. Quickly, though, muscle memory took over, and she carefully followed the steps. Covering the remnants of her bruise, the foundation, blush, and even managed her lips. Then Stephanie came over and did her eyes and helped fix her lip makeup a bit to better compliment her dress.

“Okay, hair time, it’s a good thing yours was longish when you came in,” Stephanie said, biting her lip and looking at Sophia intently. “I think I can do something gorgeous with it.”

“I can’t wait to see!” Sophia said as Stephanie unwrapped her hair and took a blow-dryer to it, carefully styling it as she dried it. When it was the right dampness, she took a curling iron and did a stunning up do, weaving in some little red flowers that matched her dress. When she was finished, Sophia immediately got up and hugged Stephanie tightly. “It’s so wonderful, Steph! Thank you!”

“Your welcome dear! Now, shoes,” she said quickly. “Low heels aren’t that uncommon around here, and I sourced, I think, the perfect pair for you.” Stephanie went over to the wardrobe and pulled out a one-inch, blocky heel in shiny, polished black patent leather with a strap.

“Oh, those are lovely,” Sophia said, slipping them on, and wobbling when she stood a bit. “Although I wish I’d gotten to practice any with them…”

“You’ll be fine, just take small steps, and remember, walk on the heel, not your toes.”

“Yeah, okay,” Sophia said, taking a tentative few steps around the room. Stephanie had already grabbed a couple of shots, and she told Sophia how to pose for some more. Sophia laughed at how silly she felt, but when she saw the photos, they were excellent.

“Paige Adams taught me a bit, Instagram queen that she is.”

“Wait, the Paige Adams?”

“Yup! She’s also a Dorley girl,” Stephanie said, grinning. “Married to Christine. She should be here tonight.”

“Oh wow! I’d like to meet her,” Sophia said, grinning. “I didn’t follow her, but I saw stuff she posted some — if I’d known…”

Stephanie put a finger in front of her mouth. “Paige is a bit sensitive sometimes about her gender,” she said with a serious tone. “She feels she’s trans but decided to be cis on her NPH being trans would’ve made her plans for her life harder.”

“Oh, that’s rough. I’ll not bring it up,” Sophia said, nodding.

“Good, and you’ll like her, she’s very nice,” Stephanie said. “Now, which of these do you want to send to Mary?” Sophia looked at the photos on Stephanie’s phone with her. They mutually agreed the blowing-a-kiss pose would probably too much, and the ‘peace signs’ photo didn’t turn out great. They finally settled on a fairly basic photo of her with her hands clasped in front, one foot a bit back and tilted up, and smiling broadly. Stephanie sent it off to Mary over Consensus. “We’ll see, kiddo,” she said. “I doubt he changes his mind last minute, but if he does, Mary will take care of him, okay?”

“Can’t say I didn’t try,” Sophia said, nodding.

“You’ve made really great progress, both with yourself and with him. It’ll work out,” Stephanie said, smiling and offering her arm. “Meanwhile, I believe that the pre-party is probably already underway. Want to go socialize some?”

“Sure!” Sophia said, looping her arm through Stephanie’s and following her out of the room towards the stairs.

***

Pippa stepped off the train and sighed. She’d had a lousy morning, her train had been delayed terribly, and it had smelled. She got here far later in the day than she had intended to, and she still had to get into her dress and ready for the party. It hadn’t been helped by Rani getting annoyed at not being allowed to come. Pippa had asked! But Indira reminded her politely but firmly that tonight was Dorley girls and already disclosed people only. The gift exchange alone would inevitably include mugs, and those would be hard to explain.

She promised Rani that she wouldn’t stay too late or get too drunk, and they would still get Christmas and Boxing Day together. Rani ran up as she got off the train looking for her and gave her a hug. “It’s sooo good to see you in person!” she said, quickly shifting from a smile to a frown. “Even if I immediately have to take you to that place. I still don’t understand how it holds such an important part of you in it.”

“I want to tell you, Rani, honestly,” Pippa said quietly, “but it wouldn’t be just my history I’m telling you. It could hurt plenty of people.”

“I get it, kind of. I don’t entirely like it, but I get it as well as I can,” Rani said, nodding. “Come on, the car’s this way,” she said, and offered to take Pippa’s bag with one hand and her other for Pippa to take. Pippa let herself be guided to Rani’s serviceable — if slightly awful — car. When they were inside, Rani sighed. “So Lorna let slip that she’ll be at the party, and then tried to explain that it was complicated.”

“It is…” Pippa said quietly. “But I know that doesn’t answer anything.”

“It’s your capital-T trauma, that much I get,” Rani said, smiling faintly. “What I don’t get is why you keep revisiting it.”

Pippa smiled weakly in return. “All-caps trauma,” she said quietly. “And yet, I keep visiting it, year after year,” she continued louder.

“Is there a reason?” Rani asked. “Could you just move on?”

Pippa frowned. “No. For all shit happened, they are my Sisters — my friends and family — and I care about them deeply. And they care about me. I’m sorry I can’t share.”

“Someday I’m going to barge in there and demand the truth!” Rani said, her tone somewhere between serious and mocking.

Pippa couldn’t help but stifle a bitter laugh. “I’m sorry, it’s just, you have no idea what you are asking for. Please don’t,” she said and put a hand on Rani’s.

“I won’t… for now. Is that why Lorna gets to go with Vicky?” Rani asked, stunning Pippa into silence. Rani continued before she could figure out which of the lines to go with. “Yeah, don’t worry, she already emphasized that her situation is complicated. And that it also involves some capital-T trauma, even if she never lived there.”

“It does,” Pippa said, nodding, wishing she could say more. Wishing Rani would just barge in, demanding the answers she can’t give. The ride continued mostly in silence, until they pulled as close to Dorley Hall as they could get. Pippa gave Rani an awkward hug across the center console. “Thanks for the ride, Rani,” she said. “And I’ll see you later tonight?”

“I’ll be waiting with bells on,” Rani said, winking.

Pippa grabbed her suitcase and bag out of the trunk and waved goodbye to Rani for now. She wondered, briefly, wistfully, if she really would be waiting with bells on. Rani can be a bit of a goof occasionally, she thought and giggled to herself. As she walked the path towards Dorley, she drifted back to four years ago, and Ellen just starting to emerge from the shell that was her former self. Maria had walked the nervous not-quite-yet-a-girl into the room, she didn’t even have her name yet. And she had heard from Stephanie this week that Sophia was trying to get Kirk interested in going. She wished Sophia all the best luck.

She entered the already bustling ground floor, through the locked doors just past the main staircase and elevator into the kitchen. The second years were all dressed up and making final preparations; things were much calmer than they had been a couple of months ago at Bea’s birthday. She waved at Ellen in the corner.

“Pippa! You came!” Ellen said happily, coming over and hugging her. “I take it you need a room to change in?”

“I do,” she said, returning the hug.

“Well here, take my key,” Ellen said and dug in her pocket for a key. “Stephanie’s already ready and with Sophia currently, and this lot has to get the cake done before I can go change.”

“It’s almost done!” Zoe called. “Really! It’s fine, we’ve got this, and Nell and the others are here still.”

Ellen looked over at Nell, who nodded. “Okay! I’ll be back down in a bit,” she said to the girls. “But I would rather not hear that any of you caused any trouble!” A chorus of girls responded back that they would be good, and Ellen shrugged. “Guess I can come with. Need any help with the bag?”

“I’ve got it, but thanks,” she said. They stepped out of the kitchen and headed for the back stairs up to the third floor, past the conservatory and the ancient chaise lounge. “Wait, are we allowed this way?” she asked when she realized where Ellen was leading her.

“I’m not supposed to have access,” Ellen said with a wink. “But Christine gave it to me a while back and hasn’t revoked it yet.”

“Handy!” Pippa said grinning.

“Yup! Besides, not like you or I am going to use it to run away, or let any of them run away, not that they would,” Ellen said laughing.

“Yeah, the happiest batch of second years I’ve seen, I think,” Pippa said, smiling. “Including the polycule a year ahead of Steph.”

“They’ve come a long ways; their first days upstairs were touch-and-go,” Ellen said, remembering the last few months. “And one of them wound up back downstairs briefly, but she adjusted.”

“Still, no washouts, and happily cooking and doing well at it,” Pippa said. “And I saw the pics from the sewing class projects, they were adorable.”

Ellen laughed. “It really made staying finally make sense,” she said.

“So, how's Sophia doing?” Pippa asked as they passed the second floor.

“Okay. She’s going to be there — she’s eager to see you again, asked if you were coming,” Ellen said brightly.

“Aww, that’s sweet,” Pippa said, smiling. “We’ve only met a couple of times briefly.”

“Yeah, she’s great. She’s hoping her friend will join her, though,” Ellen said. “Even if it would be really last minute if he changed his mind, I at least gave the sponsors a week to think about it.”

“Yeah… I’m pretty worried she’s going to be disappointed,” Pippa said as she stepped out on to the third floor, and Ellen locked the door behind them.

“I'm not. That kid is way eggier than I ever was; she just hasn’t poked her head out of her shell yet. Too scared,” Ellen said, walking towards her room. “But Stephanie texted they are sending a picture of Sophia all dressed up to Mary to relay to him.”

“Oh wow,” Pippa said, opening her suitcase. “Mind if I use your shower? I got stuck on the absolute worst train today.”

“Sure! I'm just going to change and fix my makeup.”

Pippa stepped into their bathroom with her things and quickly rid herself of ‘majorly delayed train trip’ smell, then got dressed quickly. She was feeling better already as she dressed and stepped out into the room to see Ellen headed quickly towards the door. “Some fire?” she asked.

“Kind of… a second year who had been doing well apparently had issues with the holiday that we weren’t aware of,” Ellen said frowning. “Going down to help be an extra hand for the now split group.”

“Good luck!” Pippa called as Ellen left. She sat down at their vanity with her makeup case and quickly redid her face for an evening of wine mums and gag gifts. Her phone buzzed as she was finishing up, and she saw she had been added to a group message on Consensus.

Mary:

Pippa! I need help!

Pippa:

Hey! What’s up?

I heard Kirk’s been making progress!

Mary:

yeah, that’s what this is about… he uh, when she saw that picture of Sophia it broke a dam… she wants to go. I’ve told her I’m discussing it with the other sponsors

Pippa:

You know I’m not a sponsor. I don’t even have access to those channels these days.

Did they approve?

She glanced at the channel members, all of them were already in here, including Bea’s disused account. She quickly typed a reply.

I guess they are in this group. Why not ask one of them?

Maria:

we approved it, Mary’s just freaking out a bit

Mary:

I’ve got to figure out how to take an awkward boy who’s just realizing he might be a girl and make her pretty enough to see herself and not freak out like I am

Pippa:

And you need me because I helped Steph see it four years ago?

Paige did most of it. I just helped a bit.

Mary:

yes! Exactly! Help! I manage myself somehow, but I haven’t ever actually made a boy into a girl yet… and she wants a name, and I’ve no good ideas

Pippa:

I can try to help.

What all do you need me to bring down?

Mary:

everything, there’s nothing down here yet besides what little Sophia has down here so far…

basement dweller:

there’s a matching dress to this in green [attached: sophia-christmas.jpg]

in Sophia’s room on the first

and the supply closet on the first should have a spare kit or two on hand

what shoe size is Kirk?

Mary:

like a 10 or so

basement dweller:

drat

too big for Sophia’s size 8

we know anyone with size 10 that would have cute flats to go with a green dress?

oh, duh

I’m size 10

I’ve got some nice black flats in my closet

Pippa:

Oh good. I’ll just raid your closet since I’m up here still.

That leaves how do I get in to Sophia’s room. I’m not on that access list.

Indira:

hah! You are now, sorry I can’t help, having to deal with the second years currently, and Maria has Randal being a jerk again

Christine:

Ooh! You said you need a name

I had a terribly bad idea!

Besides, it’s just for tonight, right?

Mary:

… how bad is it?

Christine:

Nerys

It’s a Welsh name that means lady

Indira:

Teenie… is that the only reason? I seem to remember a certain TV show you babbled on about constantly… I even remember breaking down and watching a few episodes with you… what was it? Babylon 9?

Christine:

Deep Space Nine!

And Dira, it’s a good name!

So what if it comes from Star Trek?

She’s a hot butch redhead who could hand Jim Kirk his arse on a platter

Mary:

it could work, better than Kristen, Katherine, or Kira, which was all I had as ideas so far

Christine:

lololol, Nerys’s family name is Kira

My whole plan seen through

Also, lol, Katherine Janeway

Mary:

… Christine… I’m going with it because I think it’s good, but… you seem sillier than usual

Christine:

I maaaay have had a couple of apéritifs already…

Christine:

Paige here: so, this is what she’s been giggling about madly, that’s it, taken her phone for the evening!

Pippa only saw the exchange about the name in passing as she grabbed Stephanie’s shoes and ran to the first floor. She had indeed been added to the room access, and finding the dress wasn’t too hard. The makeup kit was another matter — the storage room was a mild disaster zone, but she finally grabbed a bunch of stuff and threw it in a bag. Mary had sent a photo in decent lighting of his skin tone currently, and she grabbed a few colors in that range and some other basics, snagging a package of tights at the last moment.

She bounded down the stairs, pausing only briefly before rushing through the dining hall to check if Sophia would notice her and the bags. She threw a laughing smirk at Christine as she passed through. Nerys, indeed, she thought with a grin. She made it down to the first basement security office and found Mary there fretting with Monica, who was on duty.

“Oh, thank heaven you’re here… Kirk… Nerys is fidgeting in her room,” Mary said, fidgeting with her hands.

“There’s lots of people you could’ve asked,” Pippa said. “But I’m always happy to help a willing person see they can be a girl.”

Monica looked up from her chair at the security desk. “That’s a thing we do now!” Monica called. “Could always use an extra hand in the rotation!”

Pippa laughed. “Hah, I don’t think I would be a good choice,” she said, waving at Monica.

“Would let you be closer to Rani?” Monica quipped.

“Yeah! But then she would ask a bunch more questions, like ‘why do you spend all your time at a girls' dorm of a school you already graduated from?’ And I already barely know how to keep her from barging in and begging for the truth,” Pippa said, frowning. “Anyway, let’s go find the lady in Nerys,” Pippa said, laughing and letting Mary take the shoes and bag of makeup off her hands.

***

Kirk still couldn’t believe he had blurted out how jealous he was of Sophia getting to be a girl and her pretty dress. Stupid Kirk. Never say those things out loud — they’ve only ever hurt you. Mary had told him it was okay to be jealous, and sat with him as he quietly asked, “Could I be a girl and go to the party?”

He wanted to go so badly, he wanted for just a moment to slip into the fantasy that he could be like Sophia — pretty and happy and a girl. Even after he said it, a part of him hoped that she and the other sponsors would say ‘no.’ The fantasy couldn’t last, and to give into it would only make things hurt worse later.

He passed the time awaiting her return by listening to music. He realized after a full album had played that likely the answer would be ‘yes.’ They wouldn’t take this long to deliberate if they were just going to reject his request. Would they? Mary had said before she left to go ask that he would need a name. He had none in mind, had never even let himself contemplate another name. He was Kirk! Captain of starships, lover of green women! Or so he would’ve responded to this question months ago. He smiled faintly and said to her, “I don’t know, could you please pick a name for me?”

Eventually, he heard a knock at the door, and whoever it was paused and waited for a response, eventually knocking a second time. “Yes? Who is it?” he asked, barely loud enough to be heard through the door, probably. Mary didn’t use a special knock, and it couldn’t be anyone else, but Mary didn’t knock and wait.

“It’s Mary, I have the sponsor's decision,” she said with a level voice that didn’t give away any clues whether they had decided for or against. Kirk felt weirdly nervous, he was still sure they wouldn’t have deliberated this long if it was a no.

“Oh, uh, come in I guess,” he said a bit louder. He needed to know, but was still surprised she had waited. Mary came into his room, her face as neutral as her voice had been, examining him. He squirmed. He wasn’t used to that, even after two months in the basement. “So what did they decide?” he asked, it came out quietly, anxiously, almost pleading. He felt tears at the corners of his eyes. Why? He would never have been sad at the idea of being rejected for something like this before.

Mary smiled at that and took a breath. Her smile is nice when she uses it at me, he thought. She let her breath out slowly, carefully. “They agreed, provided the following,” she said calmly, evenly. “One, you will not attack anyone or attempt to escape. Two, you will agree to use a new name for the night; more on that shortly. Three, you will dress in what we provide, and let us do your makeup as we see fit. Four, this is a privilege — it can be revoked. Finally, if you break any of the preceding, your privileges down here will be restricted.”

Kirk felt himself nodding. He opened his mouth to speak, unsure what he would even say. “That all sounds fine,” he said before he could think further. “Did you think of a name?” he asked, quieter. He still wasn’t sure he wanted one, but maybe she had found something he would like. He doubted they had found anything as good as Sophia, but they couldn’t both be Sophia.

“The name I’ve chosen for you is Nerys,” she said, continuing her even tone. “It means Lady, it’s Welsh.”

Before Dorley, he might have reacted badly to that combo of words. He had been pretty stupidly proud of being English, and not Scottish or Irish or Welsh. But… it was pretty… and it sounded familiar? A character on some show his mum had loved, maybe? He couldn’t remember. He realized Mary was watching him as his mind’s gears spun, as his face went through various emotions. “Oh, that’s actually lovely,” he finally responded, meaning it. “Thank you, Mary.”

“Okay then, Nerys,” Mary continued. “I’ve got a friend here to help me get you dressed up; her name is Pippa. Don’t worry, Sophia knows her — she’s a very nice person.”

A short-haired young woman came into the room; and like all the others he’d met, she was heart achingly pretty. “Hiya, Nerys! Stephanie and Sophia have told me some about you. It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Pippa said. She had come in carrying an opaque garment bag, and another bag of indeterminate things.

“She hasn’t mentioned you?” Kirk said slowly. “But I guess there’s a lot about her that I still don’t know.”

“Fair enough — you’ll learn in time. I’m her grandsponsor,” Pippa said grinning.

“Wait, you sponsored Stephanie?” Kirk asked, surprised.

“Yup!” she said, grinning at him.

“Oh, I guess you’re probably okay then,” he said, smiling faintly.

“Glad to hear it, now, off with those clothes,” she said brightly. “I’ve got something prettier for you!” She turned and hung the garment bag up and the wardrobe, and started to unzip it.

He desperately wanted to, but not with both of them in there. “Could I, uh, maybe have some privacy?” he asked quietly.

“Oh, sure! Shout if you need help,” Pippa said, smiling. “I saw this was a side zip; those usually aren’t too bad on your own.”

They left and closed the door behind them. He was alone again. A small part of him briefly thought he should rip up the dress, to shove the fantasy away before it hurt him again. Instead, he walked over to the bag, finished unzipping it, and pulled the dress out to be visible. It’s so pretty, he thought instantly. He stifled a laugh; after weeks of daytime reality TV, he had learned a few things about fashion by osmosis. It was a green satin dress, not terribly short, with short sleeves and a modestly scooped neck. He had only cared before that he thought the girls he used in his captions seemed overall pretty. He would never have said ‘cute outfit’ about what they wore, except as part of the bit for the captions.

Kirk slowly lifted the hanger out, and stood there holding the dress against himself and looking in the mirror. His initial thought wasn’t wrong, it was very pretty. He hung it back on the hanger and started undressing slowly. He frowned briefly as he thought to himself. What good has my past self done me anyway? Well. Maybe Besides getting me locked up, exactly where a part of me wanted to be. He giggled, or tried to. He frowned. That voice would have to go. He wondered if they had giggle lessons in addition to voice lessons.

He laughed and quickly finished undressing, wishing briefly — oddly — that he had some nicer underthings than starter bras and briefs. Kirk found the zipper and unzipped it. He awkwardly pulled the dress over his head and zipped it up. It wasn’t by any means a perfect fit — a bit loose here, a bit tight there. It had probably been sized for Sophia, he realized, whose dimensions were slightly different. And then it hit him: He was wearing a god-damned dress of all things! He laughed loudly and even with his voice he loved it, he felt alive at last. It felt so good, and even without anything done elsewhere, it made him smile. There was a knock at the door. “Are you okay, Nerys?” Mary called through the door.

He smiled broadly, weirdly thrilled to hear her say his new name. “I’m better than okay!” he called. “I’m great! Let’s get the rest of this done!”

Mary and Pippa came back in and gushed about how he looked, about how cute his dress was. He smiled broadly as they sat him down at the vanity. They explained briefly how to sit without flashing people, which made him giggle. Pippa helped him put on some tights and some black dress shoes on. He couldn’t think of the last time he or anyone else had described anything he wore as ‘cute.’ Maybe when his mum had seen him playing dress up? Mary and Pippa worked together on his face, taking things from the mysterious catch-all bag. They didn’t let him see as they worked, having turned him away from the mirrors. Pippa dug in the bag again and found something, then came over and messed with his hair. It wasn’t terribly long; he’d had it cut short not too long before he got picked up. Pippa quietly told him it would grow in time, but also, short-haired girls could be cute.

Eventually, after much prodding and brushing and whatever else they were up to, they declared him beautiful. “Ready to see?” Mary asked quietly.

No, he wasn’t fucking ready. Of course he wasn’t — he was positive he would look clownish! He would never be ready! And then they had him open his eyes and look in the full-length mirror. And he saw what they saw in the mirror. “Holy shit, I’m a girl,” she said quietly, looking in the full-length mirror. There wasn’t any Kirk in her reflection, just Nerys.

“Language,” Pippa chided, but then giggled, causing Nerys to giggle.

“Can we go now?” Nerys asked excitedly.

“Do you remember the rules?” Mary asked in her sponsor voice.

“Uhh…” Nerys hadn’t even had her name yet when Mary said them, and she would probably have agreed to anything back then. “No fighting, no running away, my name is Nerys. I love how I look, the dress is pretty, and, uh… a fourth thing,” she just couldn’t remember.

“This is a privilege,” Mary said.

“Right! Yes! I won’t abuse it! I’ll be good, promise,” Nerys said, smiling broadly at them in the mirror.

“Then we’re ready to go!” Mary said brightly.

Pippa was closest to the door; she stepped outside and held it, with Mary behind her. Nerys hesitated as she approached the door. “It’s okay — no one’s going to see,” Mary said quietly behind her. “We got some help moving the boys back to their rooms while we were making you over.”

“Oh, thank you, Mary,” Nerys said, smiling, and stepped out into the hallway.

“We understand that even if you want this, it can be hard, and everyone upstairs will understand too, okay?” Pippa said, taking one of Nerys’s hands gently.

“Has Sophia been told I’m coming?” she asked, looking to Mary then Pippa.

“I believe Stephanie thought it might be nice to surprise her,” Pippa said.

“Oh, yay! I hope she’ll be happy to see me,” she said, the anxiety back on her face briefly.

“Nerys, if I know one thing, it’s that Sophia will be over the moon, trust me,” Pippa said, grinning broadly.

Nerys brightened at this as they walked down the hallway. The sensations were a lot to take in; it was weird being in something with a skirt, there wasn’t exactly anything down there. It was a modest length, just below the knee, and she had the tights on so she wasn’t too worried about flashing people, but it was full and swirled lightly about her as she walked. Pippa went ahead and unlocked the doors to the stairs. Nerys climbed them a bit slowly. She didn’t know what awaited her; she didn’t know anything about Dorley Hall or the Royal College of Saint Almsworth, not like college had ever been in her reach academically. She had seen TV shows set in fancy colleges, though, and decided that at least some of that must be right.

They walked past the first basement security office. Wow that’s a lot of cameras, she thought. Derek’s sponsor, Monica, looked up and grinned and waved. “Oh, uh, hi Monica,” Nerys managed to remember her name.

“Hello! I hear you might have a new name?” Monica asked, smiling.

“It’s Nerys! Mary gave it to me,” she said, realizing this was the first time she had told anyone. The first of many.

“Oh that’s lovely!” Monica said brightly. “Perfect for you! Enjoy the party, Nerys.”

“I hope to, thank you,” she said, smiling. “Sorry, you’re stuck down here.” Why was she sorry? This was one of her kidnappers! But. Was it really kidnapping if she wanted it?

“It’s okay, I volunteered,” Monica said. “I’ve been to a lot of them, thought I would let others go tonight.”

“See you later, Monica!” she said brightly as Mary nudged her towards the stairs up to the dining hall.

“Later, Nerys!” she heard Monica call as they climbed the last flight. Ground level. For the first time in months. Her heart rate was spiking and for all she wanted to surprise Sophia, she wanted Sophia here holding her hand. Out of nowhere, Mary took one of her hands in hers and gave it a squeeze, and then Pippa took her other hand and did the same.

“It’ll be okay, I promise,” Mary said warmly.

Nerys nodded to Mary. “Okay, I’m ready!” she said, grinning.

Mary and Pippa pushed the doors open, and Nerys put on her best smile.

***

Stephanie was looking as Sophia, Zoe, and Katy were laughing and talking excitedly about something at their table. She was a bit worried surprising her with Nerys would be too much for one or both of them, but, she admitted to herself, she wanted to see the look on both of their faces. Most of the people in the room didn’t know she was coming; Indira, Christine, Paige, and Bea knew, most of the others were elsewhere. Sophia had asked earlier, but she deflected, saying that Mary had sounded unsure. And then Zoe and Katy had shown up and taken her off to hang out with a mix of second- and third-years and a few of their sponsors. The meal was going to start soon, but everything was basically ready for it.

It was Bea who had quietly asked the second year’s sponsors for fifteen more minutes. And then it happened: her phone buzzed as Monica pinged her to say they were on their way. She looked over at Indira and Christine, who both nodded and smiled. She had a camera handy and was near the basement doors when they opened and Nerys was standing there, holding hands with Mary and Pippa, looking like an absolute darling. It took the hall a second to notice, but once they had, all eyes turned to the doors.

Someone nudged Sophia, who turned and jumped up. “OH EM GEE! YOU CAME,” she shouted, and broke off from Katy and Zoe and ran towards the door, her skirt bouncing as she ran. Stephanie had a brief flash of fear that she would trip and break her ankle for real this time, but she watched with a giant smile as she ran up to Nerys and nearly tackled her with a hug.

“Hi, Sophia. I’m Nerys now,” Nerys said, smiling and hugging her back. Mary and Pippa stepped aside and smiled at the pair of them.

“NERYS! It's so good for you!” Sophia said a bit too loud in the quiet hall; the others smiled and turned back to their groups, letting her have some space as they could tell Nerys was clearly nervous. “Come on! I want to introduce you to people,” Sophia said, taking Nerys’s hand and dragging her over to Katy and Zoe.

Stephanie turned back to her conversation, and smiled at the table with her usual friends for these events. “Oh my god, she actually did it!” Abby exclaimed from across the table. “I honestly didn’t think a repeat was possible!”

“You knew, didn’t you?” Lissa said, grinning at Stephanie.

“I mean, yes,” Stephanie said, smiling. “I’m worried about it a bit still, but that part is now done. Now to worry about the long term.”

“Well, they’re adorable together,” Shahida said. “I hope people don’t go too overboard with them; I bet it's going to be a lot after being in the basement with no company except, what, five boys now?”

Ellen came up and sat down next to Stephanie and laughed. “One by one they all become girls,” she said, and then a devilish smirk crossed her face.

Stephanie laughed. “Oh no, I know that look,” she said in mock horror. “The mad mug maker is about to strike again!”

Ellen cackled. “You know me so well, dear,” she said, and leaned over and kissed her on the cheek.

“Oh shit, they’re headed this way,” Christine hissed, a bit tipsy, and they calmed down as they approached. “Nerys, this is Stephanie, Ellen, Christine, Paige, and uh, Melissa, Abby and… uh.”

Shahida smiled. “Shahida, we’ve not met either Sophia, but It's good to meet you, both of you.”

“Right! Shahida, it's good to meet you,” Sophia said. “And everyone, this is Nerys.”

“It's a pleasure to meet you all,” Nerys said politely.

“So you decided to come after all?” Ellen said grinning. “That dress is way prettier than my tuxedo was, good choice.”

“Yeah, I uh, this was very last minute, but uh, Mary and Pippa were so nice about it.” Nerys said.

“They’re very nice girls,” Stephanie said. “And now, without too much further ado, I believe the second years are about to serve us all some food. Why don’t you find a seat?”

“Can we sit with you?” Sophia asked.

“Oh, uh, we could probably squeeze you in, but I see Katy waving you back over. Why don’t you two go have fun with girls closer to your age? There will be plenty of time to talk to us wine mums another day,” Stephanie said, smiling.

“Okay! Thank you, Katy is a lot of fun, see you later!” Sophia said.

“It was a pleasure meeting you all!” Nerys said, smiling broadly. “See you all later.” The two of them, still holding hands, scampered off to the table with the third years and only a couple of their sponsors.

“Holy crap,” Abby breathed. “And I thought Ellen here was remarkable that night. When did…? How?”

Mary walked up behind them, looking over at Nerys. “It was like something snapped,” Mary said, pulling a chair out. “And she just switched, it was wild to watch.”

“I’m a bit worried it was too fast; I hope she’s going to be okay,” Pippa said, pulling out another chair. “But for now, she’s happy, and I’m not going to interrupt that,” she said, sitting down.

Very shortly after, the second years came back in bearing various plates on trolleys, and began serving the meal. It was quite fancy, all the trimmings. It was festive and fun, but Stephanie kept herself from drinking too much, just in case. As the meal wound down, someone started bringing out some Christmas crackers, and there was a lot of fun had as the girls began popping them open and putting on the crowns inside.

After the second years cleared away the meal, Aunt Bea stood up and clinked on her glass with her knife.

***

Sophia had been having the time of her life, and Nerys, while nervous, seemed delighted too. Neither of them ate tons; they were still used to somewhat restricted diets from the basement. Sophia managed to latch onto a green crown by luck from the crackers, and Nerys a red, and they laughed and quickly swapped. Nerys hadn’t said tons, she whispered to Sophia early on she didn’t like her voice, and Sophia had nodded and understood, and whispered back they wouldn’t care.

Between courses Nerys put down her silverware and looked around the room. “Why do the women at that table keep turning to stare at me?” she asked quietly.

“Oh,” Katy said before Sophia could answer. “That’s just the 2018 polycule. Pay them no mind — they just do that sometimes. Probably just surprised to see you up here in a dress.”

“Oh, okay,” Nerys said. “It’s a bit surprising, I guess. But I wish they’d stop.”

“Want me to go tell them to knock it off?” One of the sponsors at the table offered. Sophia was pretty sure her name was Nell.

“No, that’s okay. Thank you, though,” Nerys said.

When the meal was done, they heard someone clink on her glass from one of the big tables in the middle. Sophia and Nerys turned their chairs around to see better. “That’s Aunt Bea,” Sophia quickly whispered to Nerys, and her eyes went wide in surprise.

“Good evening to all of you,” Aunt Bea said smiling broadly. “Including our honoured friends,” she said, looking at a few people around the room. “And especially to all the Dorley girls, younger and older, some so young I barely even know your names yet,” she said, looking right at Sophia and Nerys. Sophia blushed about as hard as she ever had. “Sophia and… I believe it was Nerys?” she asked.

Someone — Sophia was pretty sure it was Mary — called out, “It is! “

“Thank you, Mary. You two are already a delight, and I can’t wait to see the kind of women you become. This programme has been truly remarkably transformed again, and that wouldn’t have been possible without Stephanie goading me into doing more and being better —”

Sophia saw Stephanie blush, even as far away as she was sitting, and decided to just let out a cheer for her, which caused others to do the same. “You’re the best, Steph!” she called.

“Thanks Sophia, really, and thank you, Bea,” Stephanie said, smiling.

“Now, there’s more to come! And I’m not going to take up your whole evening,” Aunt Bea said brightly. “There’s time to exchange gifts, and the second years will be bringing dessert out after a bit. And plenty of time to laugh and talk and drink and sing silly carols. Enjoy yourselves!”

“Gift exchange?” Nerys asked Sophia quietly.

“Beats me — first I’m hearing about it,” she replied. “Not like I have anything to give though; I’m sure it's okay.”

Katy smiled at them from across the table. “It is! Don’t worry, Sophia, someone did get you something, and I hear tell that they’ve found something for you as well, Nerys. It’s fine!”

“Okay…” Nerys said quietly.

The second and third years at their table started exchanging gifts, and Sophia watched as they opened them. Some had given each other mugs with ridiculous sayings on them, which Sophia hoped Nerys didn’t see close enough to read. The third years mostly didn’t read them aloud, just laughed and set them back in the boxes for later. Katy got a very nice half-heart necklace from Heather, and Heather pulled out her half and put it on, and they kissed, causing Nerys to blush. The gift exchange was winding down all over when Mary and Stephanie walked up and smiled, holding their hands behind their backs.

“So, we know that neither of you have anything to exchange,” Mary said. “But we didn’t want either of you to miss out, and yes, we suspected you might decide to come too, Nerys.” They both pulled their hands out from behind their backs, revealing two medium-sized mostly identical packages, wrapped in fancy paper, and tied up in pretty ribbons.

Sophia and Nerys took their packages gently. “You really didn’t need to get us anything,” Nerys said quietly. “We… I don’t… don’t deserve…” she sputtered.

Sophia freed one of her hands to place it on Nerys’s knee, quieting her. “Thank you, Stephanie, and of course, you deserve it, Nerys.”

Nerys smiled at Sophia and turned to Mary. “Thank you, Mary,” she said, smiling.

“You’re welcome, both of you. Go on, open them!” Stephanie said grinning.

They both carefully removed the ribbons and opened the paper, and Sophia had to suppress a giggle, she had never been this careful opening a present in her life. When they finally got the paper off, and the inner box open, inside both boxes were ornate jewelry boxes.

“Oh, it’s beautiful,” Nerys said quietly. “Is this really okay?”

Stephanie smiled at her. “It is! And go ahead and open them up!”

Both of them did so, and they found a silver locket in each of their boxes. Sophia’s had her name on it and a picture of her inside it. Mary stooped down next to Nerys, “We didn’t have time to get yours engraved,” she said, smiling, “or a picture in it, but we’ll do so as soon as we can if you want us to.”

“I uh, wow, thank you, yes please,” Nerys said. “But can I, uh, wear it tonight anyway, please?”

“Of course! Let me help you put it on,” Mary said, taking it from her and stepping behind Nerys.

Sophia held hers up for Stephanie as well, and Stephanie stepped behind her and clasped it around her neck. “Now, girls, would you be up for some pictures with the tree before dessert?” Stephanie asked.

Sophia looked at Nerys, hoping she would want to, but trying not to pressure her. “Sure! In for a penny, in for a pound,” Nerys happily said.

Stephanie laughed. “Right this way, then, ladies.”

A small crowd had gathered, laughing and taking pictures of each other. When Sophia and Nerys got there, it was like the Red Sea parted, and they were quickly shuffled straight to the front. Sophia felt incredibly nervous, while Nerys seemed calm and was grinning broadly. Maybe Nerys was just covering better, Sophia thought. Stephanie and Paige both helped guide them into various poses with each other, to the delight of Nerys and ultimately Sophia. They even did a Charlie’s Angels like pose with Katy and Zoe, whatever that was, but it was fun!

Nerys took a moment and looked up at the tree, “OH! There’s mistletoe! We should Sophia!”

“Whoa, that's okay,” Stephanie said quickly, waving her hands. “Someone tries to put some up there every year as a joke, but consent matters.”

“No, uh, a kiss on the cheek would be okay, right?” Sophia asked, smiling.

“Sure,” Nerys said, and leaned in and gave Sophia a kiss on her cheek, and a dozen cameras must have taken pictures.

Sophia smiled. It actually hadn’t been bad; she liked the feel of Nerys’s lipstick on her cheek, so she decided to return the favour. She turned to kiss Nerys on the cheek quickly and didn’t realize Nerys was still facing her. Her lips landed on Nerys’s instead of Nerys’s cheek, and she backed up quickly. “I’m sorry! I just…”

“It’s okay!” Nerys said and blushed hard.

Stephanie spoke up quickly again. “Okay, that's enough, all. Go enjoy some dessert and leave these two alone, okay? And no one keeps those last couple pictures, okay?” she said sternly. The assembled girls all nodded and started deleting the photos. “Thank you all,” she said, continuing to shoo them away. She turned back to Nerys and Sophia, who were still standing there nervously, both of them avoiding the other’s gaze. “Now, do you want Mary or me to stick around or do you two want to talk alone?” she asked.

“I uh, I think we’d rather talk alone a bit,” Sophia said, looking at Nerys.

Nerys nodded. “Yes, alone please,” she said quietly. Stephanie and Mary wandered away, not far, close enough to warn the other girls off, but not close enough to overhear their quiet conversation in the noisy hall as they went to sit on the couch.

***

She walked into the giant hall and was quickly nearly tackled by Sophia, who was super excited to see her. They hugged, she led her off and introduced her to Katy and Zoe, and so, so many people. She lost a little track of them all, but it was fun. The meal was wonderful, albeit too much, and they even let her have a little wine, but not much. It was all so incredible. The hall was large, there were tons of people and tables and a big fancy Christmas tree all decorated and shiny looking.

The jewelry box and necklace from Mary was beautiful, and her mum had had one like it, long ago. Her dad had gotten rid of all of that kind of thing a long time ago, though. She laughed and talked sparingly; her voice still bothered her, despite Sophia’s assurances everyone would understand.

The photo session had been a lot of fun, and then she saw the mistletoe. She didn't understand why she had mentioned it, or even why she had kissed Sophia’s cheek. And then Sophia had kissed her, on the lips. Accidentally, yes, but it was still surprising. She wasn’t upset by it initially, but then she felt her anxiety spiking like it never had before. What did all this mean?

They separated off after Stephanie and Mary had shooed away the crowd, finding a couch along the wall, and Mary and Stephanie backed off, keeping others away.

She had gone and kissed Sophia! And she had kissed her back! On the lips! Even accidentally, it was a lot to process. She wanted to bolt for the door, but Sophia took her hand and turned to her with that smile, and she tried to take deep breaths and calm down. She didn’t entirely manage, she knew Sophia was talking, and she was responding some, but she felt oddly detached. And then she heard Sophia say, “I like you, Nerys, like maybe even like-like.” Oh. Well, that got her reattached somewhat.

Sophia sat there patiently waiting for a response. Nerys finally said softly, “I… kind of enjoyed it, and I do like you.”

“We… we could try again? With fewer eyes on us?” Sophia asked quietly.

Nerys felt her heart rate spike again, this was far too much. Too many new things tonight. She couldn’t. Not now, and maybe never. “No, I can’t, I’m sorry!” She said suddenly, a bit too loudly. Before she knew it, she was on her feet, ripping her hand from Sophia’s and running from a confused looking Sophia. She ran towards the door to the basement, the refuge of it, she wasn’t sure if she could even get through the door. Mary was suddenly there beside the doors, opening them ahead of her. Bless you Mary, for this and everything tonight, she thought and smiled faintly at Mary through the tears already forming. Mary led her down the stairs, not fast enough for her liking, but still, she needed her to open the doors.

Mary led her without a word past the security office and back down to the second basement. It was all too much — the dress, the makeup, everything. She was in tears, how could she have fallen this far into the fantasy? This wasn’t who she was. She wasn’t Nerys, he was Kirk! Mary led him clear to his room, and in to it, and then helped him get undressed quickly; he wanted to rip things off, but she calmed him down just enough to get them off properly. She then sat him at the vanity and quickly wiped the makeup off, and then quickly packed things up and set them out in the hall before coming back. He stood there motionless and unable to figure out what to do next.

“So, you overloaded a bit?” Mary said calmly as she helped him get dressed in something more familiar. Joggers and a t-shirt, he realized vaguely.

He nodded, he couldn’t find words. Didn’t want to find them. Scared of the words that might come out. She guided him over to the bed and sat next to him, wrapping her arms around him. Mary rocked gently as his tears started flowing freely. “I want you to know,” she said softly, “that whatever you think about what you did tonight, that that is okay, and understandable. Now, do you want to talk about it some?”

He shook his head no, “Not… not yet,” he said and more tears fell. He couldn’t. Sophia liked her. Not him. Her. Sophia barely even knew her! It wasn’t fair. He sat there for he didn’t know how long in Mary’s arms, crying as Mary slowly rocked, and whispered softly about everything and nothing at all. He didn’t understand what she was saying, but he didn’t really need to.

At the back of his mind, a part of him told himself that the time was coming when this wouldn’t be just a fantasy. He hoped the voice wasn’t wrong. For now, he let himself revert — too much too fast. Tonight had been, up to that mistletoe, absolutely magical, but now the fantasy had to become reality, and that was never quick or easy.

This is the end of Dorleypilled’s first arc! Second arc has started posting, and I hope you enjoy it as much as I do