Chapter 24: I figure I slept the first 11 years of my life, now I’m making up for it

2024 March 31, Sunday

Nerys yawned as she sat up and blinked the sleep away from her eyes. Sophia beside her was quietly snoozing still, but Nerys was awake, and needed the bathroom badly. The progesterone had helped with getting to sleep, but the dreams were weird, and one had woken her up earlier than expected. Something about eggs and bunnies and vampires. Sophia and her were running and holding hands and laughing as they gave the vampires the slip and kept cracking eggs together.

Nerys stood and quietly walked over to Sophia’s door, cycling the lock before stepping out into the hallway, and cycling the lock behind her. Sophia had badgered Stephanie into adding Nerys to her door, which she tried to use responsibly. She’d only surprised Sophia in her bed once, and after Sophia climbed down off the ceiling, she laughed before making Nerys promise never again. Then Nerys’s intent for the surprise happened anyway because the progesterone was doing that for both of them now.

Everyone had their orchi done now, and there was a weird, uneasy balance of emotions in the basement. The mood was strained, but she didn’t think it was too volatile. Hell, Stephanie had told her and Sophia that Grant had gone into his and come back down after smiling, which was a bit creepy — but who was she to judge? She had come back down grinning, hand in hand with Sophia.

She got to the doors to the shower annexe and was surprised to hear a shower head running, it wasn’t even 0600, no one was up this early, usually. Nerys went into a stall and relieved herself, and while she was doing, so she heard the shower shut off. Nerys exited the stall quietly, hoping it wasn’t Randal, but was surprised to see Grant coming out of the shower. She was pretty sure he typically showered before bed. He glanced in her direction and merely scowled as he headed to the sinks with his kit.

“Oh, good morning, Grant,” she said quietly as she approached a sink as far from Grant as she could.

Grant grunted. “It’s a morning, all right,” he said brusquely.

“You doing okay, Grant?” Nerys asked. Sophia’s kindness continued to rub off on her. Why should she care how this abusive jerk was doing? But here she was, genuinely concerned about how he was doing.

“I’m fine,” Grant said sharply, closing up his kit quickly leaving the shower annexe. “Leave me the hell alone.”

Nerys turned her head to follow him as he quickly left. From out in the hall, she heard Grant say something briefly and angrily before some silence. She briefly wondered if she should tell the sponsors about all this — but it was not her job and she wasn’t going to do it for them.

She finished washing and drying her hands and headed out into the hall to see Carl holding his shower kit and looking nervous as Grant walked by to his room. Nerys approached Carl slowly, smiling faintly. She’d noticed how Carl was a bit different lately, and Stephanie said he was starting to open up — but refused to say more. “Good morning, Carl. What’s up?” she asked quietly after Grant had shut and locked his door.

“I shouldn’t tell you, you’ll tell Sophia, and Sophia’ll…” Carl said slowly, looking furtively around towards Grant’s room. “She’ll tell the sponsors; I don’t want him hurt, but… I also don’t want anyone else hurt.”

“Scout’s honour, I won’t,” Nerys said, holding up the salute and adding a genuine smile.

“Grant’s… I know he’s planning something,” Carl said very quietly. “I don’t know exactly what or when, but he’s angry about the orchi, I think. Whether his or mine, I can’t honestly tell. Angrier than he’s been letting on, and I’m worried he’s building up to something.”

Nerys frowned. She probably should tell the sponsors this; maybe they would spot what was going on via the cameras and listen in. “Oh,” she said quietly. “Yeah, definitely don’t want him hurt. But, I said I wouldn’t tell, and I won’t.”

“Thanks,” Carl said, smiling faintly, slowly. “I know we’ve — I’ve — been kind of awful to you, but thanks,” Carl said quietly.

“Anytime,” Nerys said, smiling genuinely. Carl being nice? Grant planning something? Her being nice to Carl, of all people? And Grant? What was the world coming too, she laughed inside, but was careful not to let it show. “Anyway, I’m going back to bed, Carl,” she said, her smile fading to fatigue. “I suggest you maybe… possibly think about talking to Tabby if you’re that concerned about Grant?”

“I’ll think about it,” Carl said quietly, before heading back into his room.

Nerys was left in an empty and quiet hall, and, after looking puzzled briefly at Carl’s door, shook her head and turned to unlock Sophia’s door. She gently slipped back into bed next to Sophia, who thankfully was still asleep. Sophia stirred briefly but quickly settled back down, and Nerys drifted back off to sleep herself before long, her dreams still weird, but at least this time she wasn’t being chased by vampires.

The next thing she knew, she felt Sophia nuzzling her neck as an alarm sounded. “Oh, good morning, Pinkie,” she said quietly and nuzzled Sophia back.

“Did I feel you get up in the middle of the night?” Sophia asked quietly, a faint smile on her face.

“It was only a couple of hours ago,” Nerys said, nodding. “Hardly the middle of the night, needed to use the loo. Ran into Grant coming out of the showers. He’s uh… he doesn’t seem happy.”

“Oh?”

“I simply said good morning to him, and he snapped at me,” Nerys said, frowning.

“Oh,” Sophia said, frowning. “Should we tell —“

“No,” Nerys said quickly. “I told Carl I wouldn’t, and that I wouldn’t tell you, and I already flubbed that. I uh, I told Carl he should consider telling Tabby.”

“Okay,” Sophia said, nodding. “Then I won’t tell them. Let Carl show them he’s growing. Are you excited about today?”

“Yeah, actually, I am,” Nerys said, grinning. “Hopefully, this time I won’t run off on you!”

“I’m sure if you did, you’d have an understandable reason for it,” Sophia said, leaning forward to kiss Nerys. “And I’d come to find you unless you absolutely didn’t want me to.”

“Aww, thank you, and I always want you to come looking for me. Shall we get ready for the day?” Nerys asked smiling. “I take it we’re going upstairs after breakfast? Did Steph say she was coming down? Or are we on our own recognizance to get upstairs?”

“Yeah, Stephanie said she or Mary will be down at breakfast to retrieve us,” Sophia said quietly, rotating upright and stretching. “So, shower upstairs? Or kick whatever boys are using the ones down here out?”

“Oh, upstairs for sure,” Nerys said, grinning. “No sense risking giving the boys a show they don’t deserve!”

***

Tabby woke to Consensus beeping on her phone. She quickly glanced at the sender’s name: Carl. Several rapid-fire messages in a row this early was surprising, even with Carl actively engaging with her about his past and future. Carl was still on the duty sponsor basement airgap — his privileges to message her gatekept by the duty sponsor’s willingness to forward them to her. She wondered who was on duty this morning, and would decide whatever Carl wanted was worth annoying her with on her morning off.

She propped herself up on the bed with Levi still snoring quietly beside her and grabbed her phone off the nightstand. Tabby quickly unlocked her phone to started to read while rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

Carl:

Hey Tabby, happy Easter?

Sorry to message so early, but uh, I’m scared. I think Grant’s planning something.

I don’t know what specifically, I just know he’s been barely containing it the last few days anytime Pamela’s not around

And I wouldn’t normally snitch, but I don’t want anyone hurt, and I worry he’s working up to that.

Also, I guess if I’m moving forward and working on myself, trying to keep others safe is a good thing? I guess. I don’t know.

Shit, Tabby thought to herself. Good that Carl told her, assuming it’s not part of a plan. She knew the duty sponsor would also have already started trying to rouse Pamela and the others. She quickly typed a few messages for the duty sponsor to transcribe to him.

Tabby:

Thank you, Carl.

It is a good thing to not want people hurt, I’m proud of you.

Talk more when I get in?

Levi stirred beside her. “Hey Bitty, what’s up?” he asked quietly; she quickly locked her phone.

“I’m sorry Levi, I’ve got to go to the Hall early today,” she said, standing up and stretching before turning to lean down closer to him. “Something came up — nothing major, just some drama to deal with.”

“Drive safe,” Levi said, smiling up at her. He reached up the rest of the way and kissed her, and she forgot herself for a moment looking into his hazel eyes — God, she loved this man.

“I will. You’ll come to lunch? I think the kids are going to make a very nice meal for it.”

“Absolutely,” Levi said, smiling, and closed his eyes. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world — way better than lunch with my fam.”

Tabby quickly set about getting ready to head over to the Hall. She threw on some clothes from the stuff she kept at Levi’s; she would have to stop in her room on the third floor before lunch, but she could make herself presentable enough for the morning. Levi thought she was a semi-professional dorm mum and perpetual grad student, and he wasn’t too far off the mark.

As she descended the stairs from his flat, she dashed off a message to the other sponsors for this year, who mostly hadn’t checked in yet. She wasn’t sure she would quite make breakfast for the boys downstairs; she hadn’t been scheduled to be on this morning after a day off with Levi. Parking in the area around Levi’s apartment was terrible, and she had to walk a couple of blocks to get to her car. It was a nice enough morning for Easter; the sun was out, and she grinned as she passed a park and saw kids scrambling to find eggs.

Her phone pinged from Consensus again, and she pulled it out as she unlocked her car and got in.

Mary:

Hey! Thanks for the heads-up, sorry your nice quiet romantic morning with Levi got interrupted.

Tab A:

The joys of being a sponsor, not that you would know you lucky bitch

Mary:

Hey, I still have to sponsor Nerys! Just yesterday she got all upset because she still can’t reliably maintain head voice!

Tab A:

Uh huh, yuck it up.

I’ve got a bad feeling about today.

Mary:

yeah, it’s a weird fucking day when someone like Carl expresses concern

Tab A:

Kind of proud of him for it though

I admit I was skeptical in the aftermath of his orchi

But he seems to genuinely trying to be better, to the surprise of all

Mary:

His progress is amazing, and you should be proud.

See you in a bit, Tab!

Tabby put her phone into car mode and started up the car. She quickly navigated towards campus and the close car park, thankful the hall let her borrow a car now and then. She walked quickly along the path, she would make breakfast with the boys, just, but she wanted to stop in the security room first. As she walked from the car park, she pulled out her phone and opened Consensus and started catching up.

2023 Intake Sponsors:

Pamela, accepts no substitutions:

Honestly, this just confirms what I’ve suspected since Carl’s orchi

They always think they’re so clever, trying to cover their speech with music or TV, but it’s written all over their faces.

One thing that I couldn’t make out last night was what sounded like “meet me at 0600”, but couldn’t hear where or why.

There weren’t many options, but I think Grant wanted Carl to meet in the showers this morning to discuss plans

A few minutes later:

Pamela, accepts no substitutions:

And the footage from earlier confirms that was his plan, he got upset at Carl in the hallway afterward for not being there.

Carl told him annoyed that he just slept in.

Maria:

Which only seemed to piss Grant off more

Pamela, accepts no substitutions:

Yup.

I had really hoped he would blow up yesterday, but I guess on Easter it is

This went on for quite a bit, with sponsors attaching clips and bits of audio to back up their thinking, but Tabby was already approaching the hall doors and scrolled to the end.

Pamela, accepts no substitutions:

That just leaves what to do about it today. Half tempted to lock the lout in his cell just for his scheming… but I don’t think it helps him any.

In Dira’s Name:

We should probably nip it in the bud and confine him to his room? I mean, we wouldn’t want him attempting his ‘breakout’ in the middle of lunch, would we?

Hrm, you have a point, what gets us the best outcome for him

For everyone

Tab A:

I have an idea

I’m here, let’s discuss this in person in the security room

Tabby quickly walked up the steps to the front door, smiling and waving at a couple of girls from the cis floors as they headed out to somewhere. She walked through the lobby and the kitchen doors were already open for the undisclosed Easter guests.

“Oh, Tabby, good morning,” Nell called as she entered to see the second-years already doing prep work for lunch.

“Good morning, Nell,” Tabby said, smiling faintly. “How are things?”

“Better up here than down there anyway,” she said quietly. There wasn’t anyone not disclosed present at the moment, but just the same.

“Any news since I left Levi’s?”

“Not up here anyway. I know Pamela and the others headed down to the security office not too long ago,” Nell said.

“Thanks, that’s my next stop,” Tabby said, smiling. “Have a good one, Nell. Stay cool!”

“Hah!” Nell laughed. “Good one Tab. Good luck with them!”

Tabby walked through the hall and towards the incongruous doors to the basement. The hall only had a handful of people in it, munching on breakfast, and a couple of second-years working on cleaning up. She glanced around and made sure no one was around who shouldn’t see, and then unlocked the doors, quickly stepping through and locking them behind her.

She descended the stairs to the first basement and the security office, and she saw Pamela and Monica sitting on one of the sofas, arms crossed with frowns on their faces. Stephanie sat at the monitor bank, scrubbing through footage, leaning forward, looking intently. As she stepped into the room, she noticed Maria and Indira off to one side talking quietly with each other.

“Morning, Tab,” Pamela said with a sigh.

“Hey, Pam,” she said, going over to the coffee pot in the break room and finding just under a mug left of it. “How goes?” She filled a mug and started a new pot.

“Carl’s warning was perhaps a bit moot,” Pamela said. “Like I said in Consensus, I knew Grant was barely containing his anger, and it seems he’s primed to go off today.”

“Ugh, and today of all days…” Tabby said and took a sip of the slightly stale coffee. She set the machine to making more and came back into the security office, sitting on one of the empty desk chairs.

“Yeah, it’s too bad that Katherine was booked solid for like, the next week and a half,” Pamela said, sighing. “We should’ve tried to set him off yesterday, but I know trying to trip a time bomb early has its own risks — especially for the time bomb. I don’t… I can’t stand the thought of him washing out.”

“I don’t think it delaying the orchi would’ve mattered that much,” Stephanie said, still staring intently at the videos.

“Oh?” Pamela asked. “I mean, I know Carl’s orchi was upsetting to him…”

“I mean, ever since then, he’s had the same barely-concealed angry expression on his face whenever he thought we wouldn’t see it,” Stephanie said, pulling up some examples of Grant’s face. Grant looking angry at the backs of sponsors, as well as a couple of examples of him looking deeply confused at Carl whenever Carl wasn’t looking. “It’s probably only been a matter of time once Carl’s was done regardless. Maybe a lever?” Stephanie asked.

“Is it?” Maria asked. “There’s nothing we can really offer that repairs Carl in his mind, or rolls back his confession and efforts to improve, which is what Grant likely would want. Grant’s buddy is never coming back to his previous form, and he needs to have a come-to-Jesus moment about himself.”

“Exactly,” Pamela said, frowning. “You said you had an idea, Tabby?”

“Let him go off, whenever he goes off today,” Tabby said. “Don’t have anyone down there except at breakfast; make him think we’re buying his act a little while longer and that we’re leaving them alone to enjoy a nice quiet lunch upstairs.”

“That’s pretty risky for the others,” Indira said, frowning. “And what if we have to rush to deal with it in the middle of lunch?”

“Then we do; it won’t be the first time a meal’s been interrupted,” Tabby said. “It’s a bit riskier with guests upstairs, but even then, it’s nothing too abnormal. Besides, Grant’s not exactly a good fighter, and while he’s not the brightest, he’s got specific goals and beefs. He won’t go for Randal, he wouldn’t think we’d rush to defend the asshole —”

“We probably wouldn’t,” Maria said, nodding.

“Right. And Carl is his friend — of sorts — and for all he might think Carl is starting to change, he’s not going to harm the person he’s trying to ‘defend.’ Owen’s a possibility, but Grant’s a bully — he’ll want a target that will fight back, and Owen wouldn’t.”

“So you’re thinking he’ll go for Derek?” Monica asked, arching an eyebrow. “Not sure if I like you using Derek like this.”

“I doubt he could manage to physically hurt Derek while he’s sober, and…” Tabby said slowly, carefully. “It might serve as a point to push Derek on his temper some more; he’s still got a ways to go.”

“Fine,” Monica said, crossing her arms. “Abandon the basement, let him blow up against the boys. But if he hurts Derek, you’ll owe me, Tabitha!”

“And if he hurts Owen, Edy will skin you alive,” Maria said, smirking. “This is a risky play, but I agree that he needs to be set off in a relatively safe fashion. It should provide levers or cracks to pry on for all the ‘boys’ involved, though.”

“Okay,” Indira said, nodding. “Permission granted to let the bomb go off on its own.”

“Still surprised you’ve not used the biggest lever we have on Grant,” Tabby said, nudging Pamela. “You aren’t getting soft on me, are you?”

“She hasn’t spoken to me in months!” Pamela whined. “I’m not going to push too hard on that lever without having her actually available if needed.”

“She’s coming today,” Stephanie said, leaning back. “Texted the cohort group chat a few days ago that she was going to come; said she missed us.”

“Holy shit, and she didn’t tell me?” Pamela asked, annoyed, but held up a hand. “No, that’s probably fair. I did kind of basement her ex — who wasn’t yet her ex — without telling her first.”

Stephanie started closing various archive footage windows and pulled the live views back up to their usual positions. “Looks like the boys are stirring towards breakfast. You should get down there soon.”

Indira’s phone beeped, and she quickly glanced at it, her face quickly shifting to a frown. “Bea’s requesting me upstairs,” she said. “And I guess I need to let her know of the plan.”

“Think four of us is enough for breakfast?” Monica asked, frowning. “Just in case Grant goes off early.”

“It’s maybe a bit thin, I’ve already sent the alert for a couple of more people,” Stephanie said, giving them the thumbs up. The four of them grabbed tasers and quickly started registering them.

Maria hung back from the group. “I’ll be down in just a moment,” Maria said, nodding grimly. “Want to check something.”

“And Mary has said she’s on her way; we were supposed to go retrieve Nerys and Sophia after breakfast,” Stephanie said, turning back to the monitors.

Tabby nodded and led the way as the three of them headed downstairs, Pamela and Tabby stopped to grab the breakfast cart that had already been put out to take down. As they entered the common hallway, she saw Carl head into the dining room ahead of them, and she put on a smile.

Tabby held the doors for Pamela as she pushed the cart into the dining room and quickly helped her set the dishes and supplies on the table. Monica quickly positioned to keep an eye on Carl, her taser out per protocol, and Tabby and Pamela soon followed her example.

When Tabby was positioned near the doors to the hallway, she turned to face Carl, who had just sat down at the table. “Good morning, Carl,” she said brightly.

“Oh, good morning, Tabby,” he said and looked furtively at the two sets of doors. “Did you get my message earlier?”

He sounded nervous, she thought. Unsurprising — he had talked about not wanting to be a snitch, and he’d violated that today. He needed to know it was good and okay to try to protect people. And he was still mostly only comfortable around Tabby, and she had others with her. “Yes, thank you,” Tabby said. She had forgotten to reply in her haste. “And a happy Easter to you too.”

Randal came in next, followed quickly by Maria, who was carrying a bag with a thermos of coffee, as had become her normal routine with him. Randal sat down at the far end of the table. He looked more tired than usual, and about as grumpy.

“Good morning, Randal,” Carl said politely, to the surprise of Tabby.

“Good morning, Carl,” Randal said, raising an eyebrow, his tone about as neutral as she’d ever heard him act. Maria set a mug down beside him, filling it with coffee from the thermos, and he took it and sipped at it.

Pamela stepped forward took the lids off the dishes she’d set on the table earlier, revealing a plate of bacon and scrambled eggs, and another of croissants. Nothing too fancy, but nicer than their usual fare here in the basement — and more of it than usual. Carl and Randal both quickly started making plates for themselves, the joys of being first in the room.

“Oh wow, real food,” Derek said as he came in with Owen. “Good morning, all. To what do we owe this largesse?” He picked up a plate and started serving himself some bacon and eggs, and grabbing a couple of croissants.

“It’s Easter, Derek,” Monica said, smiling. “And you’ve all done so well lately with everything — we thought you all deserved something nice.”

“Well, thank you,” Derek said, smiling. “It smells good.”

“Wow,” Owen said quietly, and let Derek fix him a plate as well.

Grant was the next to enter, his look of disdain not even hidden from the sponsors today, but Tabby glanced at the others who subtly acknowledged it — don’t set him off now if you can help it. He was pissed and it was so painfully obvious. “Good morning, Grant,” Carl said, smiling faintly at him as he dished up a plate of his own. “You want some?”

“Is it a good morning, though?” Grant asked, arching an eyebrow at Carl before turning towards Pamela. “You can’t win me with food.” He headed towards the cabinets along the wall. He pulled out a plastic bowl and the box of Weetabix and dropped a couple in, and then got out the oat milk to put on them.

“You’re sure you don’t want any?” Carl asked. “It’s pretty good, it’s real bacon.”

Grant sat down opposite Carl, even though up to recently Grant had been sitting with a seat between him and Carl on the same side. Tabby saw him looking at Carl more intently than she would’ve liked. “You talked, didn’t you?” he asked angrily, glaring at him. “Useless coward.”

“I didn’t say anything, honest!” Carl said, looking at his eggs and picking up a bite on his fork, and only just managing not to shake it off.

“What are you worried Carl talked about, Grant?” Pamela asked, tilting her head to one side.

“None of your business,” Grant snarled.

“Do you not like Easter?” Tabby asked. “We’ve even got little baskets for you later somewhere, I think.”

“With you lot? No,” Grant said sullenly.

“All right, Grant, something’s up,” Pamela said evenly. “What’s cooking off in that void you call a brain today?” Let him have enough rope to hang himself, then catch him, an old play.

“You lot just expect us to become like you, like Sophia and her prissy little friend Nerys,” Grant said. “It’s a farce, and now you’ve permanently diminished all of us in the process. And for what?”

“We don’t expect you to become like Sophia, or Nerys, no,” Maria said from behind Randal. “We do expect you to grow, to, yes, become women, but there are many types of women.”

“Pft, is this where you trot out something trite like ‘trans women are women’? I don’t want to be one at all,” Grant snarled. “And nor do any of the rest of us.”

Derek frowned. “I may not want it, but it’s a way out, a way to be a different person, one who hasn’t been incredibly violent her whole life,” Derek said.

“Wait, are you trans too?” Owen asked, surprised.

“What? No,” Derek said, turning to Owen and smiling softly. “I just, I didn’t like past me, maybe I’ll like future me more.”

“Wait, who else is trans?” Grant asked, glaring at Owen.

Owen faltered, unsure what to say. “No one,” Derek said, taking Owen’s hand. “We’re all just jerks being turned into women.”

“It’s Sophia, isn’t it?” Grant said, sneering at her name. “She’s trans — that’s why she took to it so quickly. I bet she even knew beforehand what they were planning for us! That fucker Brent was right!”

Owen’s face belied the truth, even if he didn’t really know all about Sophia, and she saw the other sponsors all brace for something explosive to happen right then. The doors opened just then, though, and the boys all turned to look while the sponsors kept their eyes on them. A mix of weird expressions on their faces as they saw Sophia and Nerys coming into the room.

***

Sophia pushed open one half of the double doors to the dining room from the hall and walked in, holding Nerys’s hand. She immediately noticed the mood had taken a turn for the worse as every eye, boys’ and sponsors’ alike snapped to her. The sponsors’ eyes flicked back to the boys instantly, but the boys stayed locked on her. Derek and Owen looked suprrised, Randal looked annoyed and bored, Carl was confused. Grant, though, looked at her with a pure hatred.

“How long have you known what they were planning?” Grant asked harshly, his eyes full of anger.

Sophia froze in her tracks like a deer in the headlights. “Known what, Grant?” she asked quietly.

“How long did you know they were going to chop our balls off?” he asked, glaring at her. “I know you’re trans! And I know how excited you were leading up to yours. Did you know before disclosure? Were you even kidnapped? Or did you volunteer?”

“That’s enough, Grant,” Pamela growled, her taser out and aimed.

Grant’s face turned from anger to triumph. “So I’m right then!” Grant said, turning back to his bowl of Weetabix.

“Yes, Grant, I knew some things earlier, and yes, I knew I was trans when I was kidnapped,” Sophia said as calmly as she could. “And I doubt you’ll believe me, but I was kidnapped, just like you.” She wasn’t entirely successful in keeping the fear out of her voice. She walked over to the table slowly and sat down, almost as if she feared it biting her.

Mary came in behind them, smiling until she saw the expressions in the room. “Good morning, all,” she said cheerfully, as if to push whatever bad was going on away. Sophia turned to smile weakly at her in thanks, but it hadn’t really helped the mood in the room, as the boys in the room continued looking at her with their previous expressions.

“Sophia’s status was known to us when we picked her up,” Maria said from behind Randal. “When we were planning this experiment, we decided that having a trans girl as a role model could be beneficial to the rest of you. And yes, she was disclosed early, and then she was given the same choice we give each of you every day: cooperate with the programme, or wash out — with the added threat of ‘and never get to transition’ tacked on to the latter. If you have a problem with Sophia’s role here, take it up with your sponsor. In private. Later. We will not tolerate you harassing her for things outside her control.”

Randal turned to glare at Maria and looked like he was about to say something, but she waved her taser back at his food. He turned back around and went to eating quietly, to the surprise of Sophia.

“But,” Owen said. “I’m —”

“Now, why don’t you all enjoy the nice breakfast we made for you,” Mary said, interrupting him. “And to reiterate Maria’s point: If you wish to discuss this further, I suggest you do it later.”

There were nods from Derek, Owen, and Carl. Grant just continued smirking and eating his Weetabix. Randal rolled his eyes and washed down a bite of eggs with some coffee, while Nerys made Sophia and her a plate quickly with most of the remaining eggs and bacon between them. The meal was tense and quiet, and Sophia noticed Derek and Owen holding hands at times, which made her smile quietly as she ate.

After they finished eating, the others quietly put their plates in the bin and left. When Sophia and Nerys had finished and were the only others left in the room, Mary spoke. “Hey you two, let’s get you upstairs and away from this mess,” she said, smiling faintly. “Sorry, that wasn’t in the playbook for this morning. It was supposed to be a relatively normal breakfast, before we all retreated.”

“Sure, Mary,” Sophia said quietly, standing slowly and, following her out into the hallway with Nerys right beside her. As they ascended the stairs and up to the security room, Sophia said, “So, I guess they know now,” her nerves filling her voice now that they had a couple of layers of doors between them and the boys.

“Yeah. It’ll be okay, though,” Mary said smiling at them, and Nerys squeezed her hand. “Katy got found out about this time frame. It was a bit rough for a week or so, but it smoothed back out.”

“I can but hope,” Sophia said, frowning briefly before turning it into a slightly forced smile. “So, up to my room to shower and change?”

“Yup!” Mary said. “And as a treat, I’m not going with you, just be sure to lock the doors behind you as you go up the stairs.”

“Oh wow, just us two going upstairs?” Nerys said, as surprised as Sophia felt.

“Are you going to run away?”

Nerys shook her head. “No, Mary, I wouldn’t run away,” Nerys said and squeezed Sophia’s hand. “I’m finally slowly starting to like myself, and I doubted that was possible before I came here.”

“Then you’re free to go up to Sophia’s room,” Mary said, smiling. “It’s not a general privilege yet, but for today at least. And as a reminder, we’ve got a lot of cameras.”

Nerys grinned at Sophia, and Sophia squeezed her hand and grinned back. “What are we waiting for, then, Pinkie?” she said and giggled.

“Nothing that I know of, Rainbow,” Sophia said, smiling weakly. As they headed towards the stairs up, Sophia felt herself tense up, surprisingly. They pushed open the doors into the dining hall; it had been mostly cleared of breakfast by this point, but there were people starting to set up for lunch. She saw Stephanie at one of the tables, though, look over and wave with a plate that had held breakfast recently.

“Good morning, you two,” Stephanie said brightly as they approached. “You’re upstairs early. What’s up?”

“Oh, you haven’t heard?” Sophia asked, looking at the floor.

“No, what happened?” Stephanie asked, concern filling her voice. “I was on camera duty until just before breakfast started, when Charlie relieved me and I came up to get some breakfast quickly before coming down. Actually, a bit surprised you’re up here so soon.”

“Oh, uh, well, they know now,” Sophia said, frowning. “Grant figured out I was trans, and somehow that I must have known more about your, uh, plans earlier than they did. The room was tense afterward while we ate; all the sponsors had their tasers out the whole time.”

“Oh, sweetie,” Stephanie said, standing and pulling her into a hug. “It’s going to be okay. For now, go on up and change for lunch and just enjoy your morning, okay? Leave the basement to itself for now; the other sponsors will worry about it.”

“Sure,” Sophia said quietly, embracing Stephanie and then releasing her. “We’ll just be upstairs.”

Nerys picked her hand back up, and they headed for the stairs. They had plenty of time to kill before lunch still, and there were plenty of ways the two of them could find to pass the time in the privacy of her room.

***

Well, so much for keeping them in the dark about how he was feeling, but Grant’s sleep last night had been even worse than the average lately. He just couldn’t keep up the mask of ‘nicely accepting’ around the sponsors.

And Sophia was trans because, of course, she was. And she had knownbecause, of course, she had. And he sat there eating that bowl of fucking Weetabix and smelling the eggs and bacon and wanting to grab some of it, but he couldn’t. Couldn’t let them win him over for even a split second with their ever-so-slightly-nicer breakfast foods.

As Grant moved into the common room after breakfast, he was surprised that his sponsor hadn’t followed him in. Perhaps she was going to go have a meeting about his discovery, discuss the best tactics with which to counter him uncovering the spy in their ranks. Whatever the reason, it gave him a bit of room to breathe as he thought about his next steps. He had his eyes facing the breakfast TV on a tape delay, and pretended to zone out watching it.

Still, for all he couldn’t hold himself back this morning, it might still prove sufficiently distracting from his ambitions on escape. Given the increased sponsor presence during breakfast, he suspected they thought he would try something at breakfast or soon after. But he planned to do it during their lunch, when their readiness for dealing with him would be at its lowest.

He managed to put his calm demeanor back on, as he watched TV. It wasn’t too long before the other boys started coming in from breakfast, and none of their sponsors followed either! The less, the better! Derek and Owen opened the game cabinet, pulled something out, and took it over to the metal tables. He didn’t know and didn’t care what they were going to play, so long as they weren’t paying attention to him.

Eventually, Carl came in and sat on the other sofa near the TV and Grant thought about snarling at him to go away. But… he needed the sponsors mostly distracted before he tried to get one of them alone to force her to unlock doors for him and Carl to escape this hellhole. So instead, he smiled and waved at Carl, who looked confused at him for a moment before smiling faintly and returning his wave.

He turned the appearance of his attention back to the TV. They were talking about some gossip involving two celebrities he wasn’t remotely interested in — pop stars or something. But, for now, it served as the perfect backdrop for him to lull the sponsors into thinking he’d calmed down after this morning’s excitement.

***

Stephanie descended the stairs to the first basement, her worry turning to a scowl as she approached the bottom of the stairs. She found the others already waiting in the security room, huddled, talking quietly. “So, I take it our plan is off to the usual grand start all our plans get off to?”

Tabby nodded solemnly. “Sorry, we didn’t get Grant off track fast enough.”

“They were going to learn eventually,” Stephanie sighed. “Sophia seemed reallyshaken up, though.”

“Yeah,” Maria said. “Anyway, we’ve cleared out of the basement and are monitoring.”

“Grant’s currently watching breakfast TV in the common room along with Carl,” Pamela said, glancing at the screens. “Derek and Owen are playing a board game, and Randal is in the other corner reading. I think Grant will probably wait until their lunch, or right after it. We’ll be doing minimal staffing to drop it off and leave without waiting for them to finish to better sell ‘we’re distracted’ to him.”

“And that will be when in relation to our lunch?” Stephanie asked, trying to line the times up in her mind. “Sometime around the profiteroles?”

“Yeah,” Maria said, nodding. “Sounds about right. Unfortunate, but he’s going to blow when he blows.”

“Yeah,” Stephanie said quietly. “I guess we’d better all get ready for Easter lunch?”

“We will look like pretty silly storming the basement in our pastel finery,” Tabby said, smirking.

“Hey, my dress is in a bright, saturated green!” Maria said, laughing. “Some of us have some dignity.

“First I’m hearing of it,” Stephanie said, giggling.

They all quickly retreated from the basement towards their rooms, leaving Pamela, who was still watching the monitors, with the regular duty sponsor. Stephanie didn’t like this plan much, but at least Sophia and Nerys were out of the blast radius for the day.

***

Rachel pulled off one motorway on to another motorway following directions from Sheffield to Almsworth on her phone’s GPS. Not that she really needed the directions — her family still lived there after all — but it was useful for providing an ETA to Melissa. Belinda sat beside her, smiling as she looked out the window, blissfully unaware of the true nature of the place they sometimes visited to be near Melissa and Shy.

But Rachel had promised Amelia they would be there for Easter, and she’d gotten slightly grudging approval from Indira to attend. She had to promise once again that she would be on her ‘best behaviour’ and it irked her. She knew it would be a good meal, and the people at the Hall were always… interesting, if a bit psychotic — or neurotic, depending on viewpoint.

Rachel still couldn’t quite believe that Dorley existed at all — and she still couldn’t condone it. Even with the changes Stephanie had instigated, it still rankled her that there was a kidnapping and torture ring operating out of a basement in fucking Almsworth, of all places. And multiple friends and friends-of-friends being intimately tied to the place meant exposing it would hurt all of them. Both the innocents who never once sponsored and those who continued it.

And then there was Jessica… who freaking Donna had aimed at her and Belinda, and she could kind of guess why. She thought it was very likely that her daughter, whatever the name she had chosen was, was living at Dorley. They’d lied and bounced Jessica off on to Rachel and Belinda. Frustrating and foolish and dangerous.

She pushed the thoughts away; cycling on Dorley and its nature wasn’t a terribly healthy thing to do. If she ran into Jessica’s daughter, she would tell her what she had promised she would. “Would you text Melissa our ETA?” Rachel asked as she passed another slow car. Too many slow cars today, too many people off to visit family, and too many people wanting to go even faster than she was willing to.

“Oh, sure,” Belinda said, pulling her phone out and starting to type into it. “Been too long since we’ve been down to visit Melissa and Shy, I’m looking forward.”

“Yeah, I’m glad when they visit us, but it still winds up being too long between visits,” Rachel said, nodding.

“And Amelia is adorable, looking forward to seeing her in person,” Belinda said, grinning. “She looks like a lot of fun.”

Rachel laughed. “I still can’t believe they have a kid! I would never have thought Melissa wanted one, much less actually just do it.”

“Sometimes people surprise you,” Belinda said, smiling.

They drove in silence for a bit. “So Dorley, it’s just for disadvantaged girls, right?” Belinda asked.

“Yeah, that’s what Melissa says,” Rachel nodded, hating that Belinda didn’t know, but also she didn’t want her to know. “A lot of them are some variety of transgender, but are super cagey about their histories. And their institutional sense of humour is twisted.”

“I mean… look who’s talking,” Belinda said, laughing.

“These girls on a whole other level,” Rachel said, grinning. “Just remember, if you hear someone talking about being kidnapped or whatever, odds are it’s just a joke.”

“It’s an odd thing to joke about, for sure,” Belinda said. “But I supposed it’s not really my place to judge people who have been through so much. Besides, the girls were delightful last time we were down here.”

“That’s the spirit,” Rachel said, grinning as she gunned it past yet another car.

***

Melissa put on a brave smile as she stepped into the church with Amelia, Shahida and Abby. It wasn’t her father’s church, at least, but she still didn’t like being in any church. Internally, she was cursing, but externally, she was holding one of Amelia’s hands and putting a faint smile on. Shahida held Amelia’s other hand as Abby helped with the doors, and carried Amelia’s bag of distractions. None of the three of them were religious, to the point of being borderline anti-religious, but Amelia had insisted on coming to show off her pretty dress to her friends, and so here they were. They were all putting on brave, strained smiles, but Amelia was too excited about getting to show off her dress to remotely pick up on her mums’ unease with this place.

Amelia started tugging at their hands as soon as she saw her friends off to one side of the lobby, dragging her mums behind her as best she could. Melissa obligingly turned towards them, letting her hand go as Amelia approached her friends, so she could greet her friends with open arms. There were excited squeals as Amelia twirled this way and that for her friends, and they babbled away enthusiastically. Amelia seemed excited, and her friends seemed happy for her, and that was beyond priceless. She felt Shahida take her hand in Amelia’s place, and Abby came up beside her and put an arm around her shoulder with a grin on her face.

“Oh, she’s just precious,” one of the other woman in the lobby near them said. “You must be the family that took her in! I’m so glad you brought her today. The home wouldn’t bring her here and barely let her have any contact.”

Melissa tensed and Shahida, ever the most outgoing of them, extended her other hand. “We are!” she said brightly. “She’s such a joy to have around. And yeah, that home seemed pretty grim.”

“I’m Carol, Rebecca’s mum,” the woman said, pointing to another girl Amelia’s age. “It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Carol said and shook Shahida’s hand.

“I’m Shahida, and these are my wives, Melissa, and Abby,” Shahida said grinning, not filtering at all for them. They had agreed last night after Amelia had gone to bed that the church would have to accept them as is — or not. How Auntie Ashley had convinced Social Services that a stable polyam thruple was a fit home, she didn’t know. Ashley had cautioned them that some might not understand, but that they were well protected should some small-minded person try to raise ‘concerns.’

Melissa tensed briefly for a bad reaction, but Carol appeared merely slightly confused and quickly recovered, putting a bright smile on. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Carol,” Melissa said, waving with her free hand’s fingers. “And of course we brought her — Amelia’s delightfully headstrong, and she insisted her friends had to see her pretty dress. And she was quite right about that, of course, she’s so happy when others see her.”

“That dress is quite lovely,” another woman standing near Carol said. “I’m Cassie, and I was friends with Amelia’s parents, may they rest in peace. It’s astonishing how bright and happy she is, I remember her from before her parents started letting her come as herself — she was a sullen little thing. And then her parents and that awful… her world just collapsed. No family left, and I would’ve volunteered myself, but I know I’m not ready for another, Robert is enough of a handful by myself as it is.”

“Well, we’re glad she’s got friends, and we wouldn’t keep her from them,” Abby said, smiling. “We’re just here to try to fill a need in her life, not replace what remained of her old life.”

“That’s really wonderful,” Carol said. “And of course, you’re all welcome here too, we pride ourselves on not being like those, pardon my language, arseholes down the block.”

“I’m not sure how many polyam people we have that come regularly, but Joyce and Patty over there are a lovely couple expecting their first,” Cassie said, gesturing to a pair of women across the lobby chatting with a third. The couple clearly gay for each other in how they held each other, and one of them was showing.

“Thank you,” Shahida said. “Truth be told, none of us really believe. This is all for the sake of letting her show off the dress. I don’t know how often we’ll be coming.”

“And that’s fine too,” Carol said with a welcoming smile. “We don’t expect or require faith to attend; how else would we get converts? Badger people on their way to the shops? And to be clear, no expectation that you’ll wind up converting, of course — you are free to attend, regardless of what you believe or don’t believe.”

Cassie laughed. “Oh geez, I had one of those rude street preachers come up to me the other day shouting ‘The wages of sin are death.’ Must’ve been my hairdo that gave me away,” she said and turned to show off her side shave on her otherwise fairly normal hair. “I smiled sweetly at him and said, ‘I love my neighbor as myself, do you?’ and walked on.”

“Nice,” Shahida said, grinning. “And thank you, both of you, I was a bit worried getting ready this morning.”

“Same,” Melissa said, smiling. “Dad got religion like that street preacher did. I never wanted a part of it; all he did was use it as an excuse — for everything.”

“Oh, it’s about time for service, shall we head in?” Cassie asked, looking at the three of them. “You can sit with us, there are usually plenty of seats open.”

“Sure, thanks,” Melissa said, and they all managed to get the kids to head into the sanctuary, which was quite nice for a smaller church. They sat on the pews, with the kids clustering together and absolutely one hundred percent not paying attention, with Cassie digging in her distractions bag for something she wanted to show the others. Melissa tuned out the service too, but she did sing along with the hymns — she remembered a few of those, and she did love to sing. As she sang, she was reminded of how she came to her singing voice: with Abby’s eternally kind guidance and countless hours of practice.

Abby looked over at her from one side and smiled as they all sang. It was quite a bit different from what she remembered growing up; there were no sermons about how being gay was evil, or being trans was demonic. Just a simple recounting of things that didn’t happen a couple of thousand years ago. For Amelia’s sake, she would endure it — at least at the major holidays. And it was nice to have an excuse to sing in public with others. She made a mental note to check about caroling this year. She knew Amelia would enjoy it, and it would be an enjoyable Christmas memory for the family.

Eventually, the service wrapped up with one more song — Amazing Grace — and Melissa she had to resist the urge to sing the modified version popular among Dorley girls praising Bea and their sponsor. It was tongue-in-cheek, and Bea usually rolled her eyes and sighed heavily whenever any of the girls got caught singing it.

When the song was over, they quickly gathered their things from behind them, and Shahida quickly grabbed the doll Amelia had pulled from her bag of distractions and put it back. They started walking out of the sanctuary, but Amelia was dragging her feet, wanting to stay with her friends and whining.

“It’s astonishing how much energy they can muster when they want to,” Cassie said from behind them, trying to get her own to follow. “And when they don’t, it’s like moving frozen molasses.”

“Oh, and here,” Carol said, handing Shahida a note. “Some contact info for both of us — we should all keep in touch on Facebook or wherever, so we can arrange dates for the kids to hang out and whatnot.”

“Oh, thanks!” Shahida said, smiling brightly. “We’ve already been in contact with some of her friends’ families from school; we’ll add you when we get home from lunch.”

“Come on, kiddo,” Abby said to Amelia, grinning and tugging on her hand gently. “If you stop dragging your feet, I’ll let you have one of my profiteroles in addition to your own.”

“Oh! Okay!” Amelia said brightly. “Later Becca, later Robert!” she called, immediately bolting for the door, with Abby rushing to keep up without losing hold of her hand.

“Exactly like that,” Cassie said, laughing. “You four have a lovely easter lunch.”

“Thank you, Cassie, and to you as well Carol,” Melissa said over her shoulder smiling and walked out into the bright sunshine holding Shahida’s hand.

“We survived,” Shahida leaned over and whispered to Melissa and squeezed her hand briefly.

“We did, didn’t we?” Melissa laughed as she clicked the remote for the car from long range so Abby and Amelia could start getting in the car. “They were surprisingly nice.”

“Straight to Dorley?” Melissa asked, getting behind the wheel.

“Yes, I think so,” Shahida said.

“Yay! Dorley,” Amelia said. “Dorley and profit rolls!”

“Dorley it is, then!” Melissa said, laughing and pulling out of the parking space.

“Is Stephanie going to be there?” Amelia asked from her booster seat in the back.

“Absolutely,” Abby said, beside her, nodding wisely. “She lives there after all.”

“I know that, but that doesn’t mean she’s going to be at lunch,” Amelia said, rolling her eyes at Abby.

“Your aunt Stephanie is excited to see you again,” Melissa said as she turned on to campus towards the car park. “And so are Ellen and Maria and the others.”

“Is Sophia going to be there?” Amelia asked, looking out the window as they looped through the garage. “Stephanie said I’d get to meet her sometime.”

“I don’t know, but I think so,” Abby said, smiling.

“Sophia shared a picture of her trying on her dress a few days ago on Consensus, so I’m assuming yes,” Shahida said from the front seat, putting her phone away.

“And Auntie Rachel and Belinda are coming from up north!” Melissa said brightly.

“Yay!” Amelia said, grinning. “They were a lot of fun on video chat.”

Melissa finally found a spot and pulled in toit. “You’d think the entire world was coming from this car park,” she said as she shut the car off.

“Right?” Abby said. “Maybe more people just drove this time.”

“Yeah, possibly,” Shahida said, getting out and opening the door next to Amelia. “Come on, squirt,” she said after she unbuckled things and offered a hand to help Amelia out, only for her to bounce out of the car herself.

“I can do it myself!” Amelia said and started to bolt for the stairs, only to have Abby grab her hand before she could run off.

“No running in parking garages, okay?” Abby said warmly but firmly. “It’s dangerous.”

“Yeah, okay, fine,” Amelia said, pouting and twisting while she waited for the slow adults to get out.

“You can run ahead of us when we get down to the pavement, okay? Just don’t get too far ahead of us. Keep us in sight, okay?”

Amelia grinned. “Okay!” she said, tugging on Abby’s hand.

Abby looked back at Melissa and Shy and rolled her own eyes, and they proceeded down and out of the garage, and as promised. Abby let go of her hand and pointed her in the direction of the hall, and she promptly took off running, dress flouncing about her joyfully. “Where do they find that kind of energy?”

“I don’t know,” Shahida said, grinning. “But come on, let’s not let her get too far ahead,” she said, laughing and started chasing after Amelia. Abby and Melissa laughed and started running after her as well.

***

Derek was sitting at one of the metal tables playing a game of Cluedo with Owen when Grant let out a long exasperated sigh. None of the sponsors had followed them into the room after breakfast, which was unusual, but they probably had gone to get ready for a nice Easter lunch without them. He glanced in Grant’s direction and saw the TV had changed to one of the fashion makeover shows, and he knew Grant hated them.

“What’s with all the sighing?” Derek asked, annoyed. Not like sighing loudly and annoyingly was going to get the channel changed. “Not like after five months of this, you aren’t used to the blathering TV. Either put up with it or go read a book. Or play a board game, take a nap, or do whatever it is you do in the darkness of your room alone at night when you think no one is watching.”

“You already took the one good board game,” Grant said, his annoyance clear. “And we all saw how card games go down here.”

“What, Apples to Apples not to your liking?” Owen asked as he moved his piece towards the next room. “I had a lot of fun with that when I was growing up.”

“Do I look like a nerd?” Grant sneered. “Why couldn’t they just have Cards Against Humanity? They’d probably remove all the fun cards anyway.”

“No, you look like a sorry excuse for a footballer who had a run-in with a bunch of estrogen,” Derek said quietly, making a move of his own without looking up, but a slight smirk crossed his face.

“What did you say?” Grant quickly snapped at him.

“Nothing, Grant,” Derek said quietly and slowly. “Forget I said anything.”

“I’ll have you know, I was good at football!” Grant said, annoyed, but at least he turned back to the TV and ignoring Derek and Owen.

Derek moved into a room on the Cluedo board and asked another question. Searching for what Owen had, and what might be in the center. It was early game yet, but Cluedo was better with more than two players. Carl didn’t want to play without Grant and Grant had refused to play with them — the people who were ‘rolling over,’ as he succinctly put it. Randal wasn’t in the common room, probably hiding in his room again. Whether reading, masturbating, or taking a nap, he didn’t know and didn’t care.

Derek couldn’t figure out why Sophia and Nerys were being nice to him of late, but his reasons for being nice in return were pretty clear to everyone. The others were allowed coffee sometimes, if they’d been good, but Maria was dangling a carrot in front of a jackass in the hopes of getting some movement. He wasn’t sure what she honestly expected from him, and Derek wouldn’t have invited Randal to play if he was the last person in the basement. He was surprised that they’d even considered Randal remotely redeemable. Derek made another discrete mark on a piece of paper, and waited for Owen’s turn.

“Ugh, what kind of arsehole wears all black?” Grant asked.

“Asks the arsehole,” Derek said after answering Owen’s challenge with a card from his hand. He moved his character by the corner passage to the other corner, and made an accusation. Only to receive another card shown by Owen. Well, that was revealing, he thought.

Owen moved his piece out of the kitchen and into the hall. Derek was fairly sure he knew the answer, now to get his piece to the room. He rolled the dice and moved towards the Conservatory.

“Ugh, her name is Angela? That’s almost as bad as Sophia,” Grant said from the couch. “I wonder why her parents would inflict that on her.”

“I’m pretty sure Sophia’s parents did not name her Sophia,” Derek said, as he realized Owen was also headed for the Conservatory.

“I meant Angela, obviously,” Grant said and rolled his eyes. “But how did Sophia come by her name?”

“She told us quite a while back, remember? She said it just came to her,” Derek said, rolling again and silently cursing his low roll. “Seems reasonable enough, and I don’t know why anyone would lie about something like that. Sometimes something just pops into your head and it feels right.”

“Wait, are you actually thinking of names, Derek?” Grant asked, his annoyance clear. “Roll-over much?”

Derek rolled the dice again and cursed inwardly at his bad roll before moving his pawn. He frowned as Owen rolled a six and proceeded to get into the conservatory a turn ahead.

“The Lead Pipe, by Mrs White, in the Conservatory,” Owen proudly said. Derek couldn’t refute it, and that had been what he was about to propose as well. Owen picked up the sheaf, and smiled big as he flopped down the packet. “I take it you had figured it out as well?”

“Yeah,” Derek said, doing his best to ignore Grant’s continued glare. “You beat me to the room, though. As for names, yes, I have been thinking about it. And no, I don’t think of it as rolling over — more like moving on.”

“Oh?” Owen asked, surprised as he started to resort things for the next game. “You hadn’t told me that.”

“Keeping secrets from your boyfriend? Really, Derek?” Grant asked sarcastically.

“It was only during this game that names started popping into my head,” Derek said, helping Owen sort the cards. He knew Carl had turned to look questioning as well, but surprisingly hadn’t joined Grant in taunting him like he would’ve a week ago. “I haven’t made any decisions yet.”

“Oh,” Owen said, sounding almost disappointed. “Any that you want to say?”

“None that I would like to say around those two, anyway,” Derek said, returning Grant’s glare briefly, before working to reset the board. “Maybe later.”

“Hey!” Carl said, indignant. “I’m mostly genuinely curious. Don’t just automatically lump me in with Grant just because we sit together.”

“That’s a first,” Derek said. “Trouble in the emotional abusers’ corner of the room?”

“No, I mean,” Carl said, fumbling his words. “I really am curious — I wouldn’t even know where to start at choosing a name.”

Grant growled under his breath, and turned back to the TV, ignoring them all. “Want in on the next game?” Derek asked, looking at Carl. “I promise we don’t bite, and it’s more fun with more players — and more fun than sitting being ignored watching that awful TV.”

“That’s okay,” Carl said quietly. “It’s almost lunchtime anyway.”

“Hrm, he has a point,” Owen said. “I’m going to go use the restroom before lunch.”

“Sure, see you in a bit Owen,” Derek said smiling at him as he stood. He stretched as he got out from behind the table; the things were practically torture devices on their own. He quickly finished putting the game back in its box and picked it up, moving towards the games cabinet.

Randal came in from the direction of the bathroom, and Grant turned to see who it was. “Oh, it’s just you,” Grant said, turning back towards the TV.

“Who were you expecting?” Randal asked, looking around, shrugging. “I just passed Owen and the girlfriends are upstairs, I believe. And there surprisingly isn’t a sponsor in sight, still, apparently.”

“Wish there was someone down here who was actually reasonable to speak with,” Grant grumbled.

“What’s there to be reasonable about or talk about down here?” Randal asked, arching an eyebrow. “Anything you can say would just get used against you anyway. Just watch the TV, or read a book, or go masturbate — if you still can.”

“Something besides how to pick names at the very least,” Grant said.

“Oh?” Randal asked, a weird curiosity in his voice. “Who’s picking a name?”

“Me, Randal,” Derek said, annoyance seeping into his voice. He put the game back in the cabinet and intentionally, gently closed the cabinet instead of slamming it like he wanted to. “And I’m not anywhere near close to a decision on one. I just feel like if this is the path we’re on, might as well not be so obstinate about progress along it.”

“Ah,” Randal said. “No wonder you are stymied for reasonable conversation partners.”

“Oh?” Grant asked, arching an eyebrow. “I seem to recall you generally don’t have any conversation partners because you’re a psycho murderer. And what happened to Mr Prisoner of War?”

“We still are, but I realized that there isn’t any escape route but through for the foreseeable future,” Randal said and rolled his eyes and headed towards the dining room doors. “I’ll be in the dining room waiting for lunch. Oh, and Grant?“ He stopped and turned back towards Grant at the doors into the dining room.

“Yeah?”

“The reason you lack reasonable conversation partners, is you aren’t a reasonable partner yourself,” Randal said and pushed into the dining room. “Conversation is about give-and-take, thrust-and-parry. You just want it to be one-sided.”

“Randal being further along than you, Grant? Now that’s surprising,” Derek said and turned to head to the bathroom himself. He saw in the corner of his eye as Grant started to stand with his fists balled, only for Carl to reach out and pull him back down. Weirdness seems to be the order of the day, Derek thought to himself as he went into an open stall to take care of business.

When he came back out, Owen was looking antsy waiting on him and Derek extended his hand. “Come on, let’s see if they’ve brought lunch down,” he said and smiled.

“Sure, Derek,” Owen said quietly, and they headed back through the common room, now empty.

***

Ellen was stuck in the kitchen with the second-years again, and the AGA was far too hot on this unseasonably nice Easter. The second years mostly didn’t need supervising anymore; they knew more or less how to cook at this point, and they weren’t going to run off or blab the secret to anyone. And they had started going out with their sponsors and even some of them sans sponsorship around campus already. Zoe loved to jog over to Café One with Riley for a snack in the afternoon if they weren’t otherwise engaged with some activity at the Hall — or recovering from surgery like they currently were.

She fanned herself with a pamphlet, and smirked when she realized it was one of those NHS pamphlets about HRT they hand out at disclosure. Ellen thought again about taking on a girl properly, but… she couldn’t, not with a boy she’d be telling a couple of months in that she’d be cutting his balls off. Next year’s trans girl would probably have Indira for a sponsor, and then Nell if she stuck around after Zoe graduated and didn’t take on a regular boy next year, then most likely Stephanie again. There just weren’t enough slots for all that wanted to sponsor one of the trans girls — it’s too bad they hadn’t been able to convince Elle to bring in more.

She pulled out her phone with her free hand and glanced at her schedule for the coming weeks. In a few weeks, meetings for the intake panel would start, and she had reluctantly agreed to be on it again. After how this year’s intake was going, she wasn’t sure she was a good voice in finding the right people to bring in, the ones that could be saved. She had voted to include Brent, and look how awful that had turned out! Poor Evelyn — she hadn’t known how he would be, none of them had.

She had also been one of a few who sided — cautiously — with Maria about bringing Randal in. Ellen had all the faith in the world in Maria’s ability to bring him in line. And, if her reports were to believed (and Ellen didn’t doubt her honesty), he was making progress, he might even make it out of the first year. Ellen didn’t usually participate in the betting pools, but she’d quietly put down five quid on Maria getting him out of the basement at fifty-to-one odds back in late September when he’d first arrived. Ellen was quietly optimistic about being able to take Stephanie out to a very nice dinner on her winnings.

She noticed as Becky snuck in and smiled faintly at her; Becky didn’t particularly like being here and hadn’t been back since she graduated last year, but Ellen would find her later and say hi. Becky smiled weakly in return and passed quickly on into the dining hall. Or maybe save her from Stephanie, Ellen thought with a smirk, or Sophia.

The next interesting guests passing through the kitchen were Summer and Persephone, who had been staying upstairs. Ellen wasn’t entirely sure what their deal was, but the senior sponsors had cleared them a room up on the cis floors, and they were using the electrolysis machine downstairs sometimes, which was at best odd. Ellen had been on camera duty on Friday evening and had to coordinate their arrival and departure with Summer and Maria, and they had nearly run in to Sophia coming down from a voice lesson with Christine. It would’ve raised more questions than she liked, and she was glad they had just missed each other.

She knew Summer was a graduate, and had been a sponsor once that and that it had gone alarmingly sideways, but when Stephanie and Ellen asked her about it, Pippa just went ashen and wouldn’t talk about it. Stephanie had someknowledge of Persephone, and her situation, since Elle had pushed Stephanie for Persephone’s inclusion this year. As the pair passed through the kitchen, though, and Ellen got a good look at Persephone for the first time in person, a cold shiver ran down her spine. She looked familiar for some reason Ellen couldn’t quite place; she made a mental note to go on a record dive later.

There was suddenly a loud cry, and Ellen quickly put her phone away and dropped the pamphlet on the table. “What’s wrong?” she asked quickly.

“I burned my finger,” Jordyn said, already holding it under the running sink. “I just need to put some salve on it and a plaster.”

“Sure, you know where the first aid kit is,” Ellen said. “Anything I can do to help?”

The others quickly responded that they had it under control, which caused Ellen to arch her eyebrow, but she stooped back down to pick up the dropped pamphlet and started fanning herself again.

Annette came in next, causing Ellen to drop the pamphlet again. “Moody!” she said, grinning. “You actually came!”

Annette laughed. “Ellen, good to see you! And of course I came — I said I would,” she said brightly and came over with arms open. “Also, I thought you’d agreed to never call me that name ever again, like, three years ago.”

“You know me,” Ellen said, returning the hug quickly before they both released it as it was entirely too hot for it. “It’s good to see you, Annette. Pamela’s wanted to speak with you.”

“Yeah…” Annette said slowly. “I know, and I want to speak with her, but maybe after lunch.”

“Fair,” Ellen said, grinning. “See you in a bit, Annette — I think you’re at our table.”

Annette laughed. “I’d better be!” she said, grinning and waved before heading on into the dining hall. “I’ve got not-boyfriend-related news to share with you all!”

“Ooh!” Ellen said. “You decide to join the winning team?”

Annette laughed and simply walked into the dining hall.

It wasn’t long after Annette left before Amelia ran in and immediately ran over and hugged Ellen. “Ellen!” she said excitedly and quickly separated from her one-sided hug. She stepped back and twirled in her dress. “What do you think of my dress?”

“It’s gorgeous, Amy,” Ellen said, grinning before raising an eyebrow. “And just how far back are your mums?”

“Oh, uh,” Amelia turned around and realized they weren’t in sight. “Where are they? They were right behind me…” Amelia’s voice carrying significant concern.

Ellen turned and looked through the doors and saw them breathing hard as they entered the lobby. “There they are, sweetheart, they aren’t as young as you.”

“Young lady,” Shahida said, slightly winded as she entered the kitchen. “Didn’t I tell you to not get too far ahead of us?”

Amelia nodded, looking at the floor. “Yes, mama,” she said quietly. “I’m sorry.”

“At least you’re okay. Did you show Ellen your dress?” Melissa said smiling.

“I did! She liked it,” Amelia said, brightening back up. “Can I go in and show the others?”

“Yes, dear,” Abby said. “Just try to keep one of us in sight, okay?”

“Yes mother!” Amelia said and quickly bounced towards the dining room without paying attention, only for Abby to laugh and follow her.

“Guess we have to go keep an eye on her, lest she wander into places she shouldn’t,” Shahida said, laughing.

“It would be a disaster if she somehow snuck down to the basement,” Ellen said quietly, smirking.

The second years finally moved on to starting to plate everything, assembly-line style for the dozens who had shown up. The food did smell quite good — they’d come a long way, even from Aunt Bea’s birthday. It wouldn’t be too long before it would be time to serve, and to eat for that matter, Ellen thought. She peeked into the dining hall and saw the lively conversation happening, and Mary and Stephanie were standing near the doors towards the stairs up to the first floor. She smiled and waved across the room, and Stephanie waved back.

“Ellen!” Rachel called loudly as she came into the kitchen with Ellen’s back turned, nearly causing her to jump out of her skin.

“Rachel!” Ellen said, “You scared me! What if you’d been some abductor come to take me away from this place?”

“Then I would be a pretty lousy abductor,” Rachel said, grinning.

“Ellen, it’s good to see you again,” Belinda said, smiling. “How are you?”

“Engaged!” Ellen said, grinning, and held out her finger with the ring. “Stephanie and I can’t decide on a date yet.”

“And school? Some sort of philosophy degree?” Rachel asked, grinning.

“You know full well that I went into gender studies in the end,” Ellen said and stuck out her tongue. “It’s going great, looking forward to graduating, although still not sure what my long-term plan with it is. I’ve been debating working towards a masters, especially with Frost out of the picture.”

“Are Melissa and company already here?” Belinda asked.

“Already in the dining hall, and Amelia’s running around showing off her dress to anyone who will look at it,” Ellen said, grinning. “I’ll be in when we start serving.”

“See you in a bit then!” Belinda called behind her as they disappeared into the dining hall.

Nell came over and leaned next to Ellen. “You know, you could go on in if you’d like, we’re just wrapping up in here. We’ll be serving things in another fifteen minutes or so.”

“Thanks, Nell,” Ellen said, smiling. “But I think I’d rather stay away from the conversation chaos in there for a bit longer — you can go if you’d like.”

“Even with how hot it is in here?” Nell asked, surprised. “But if —”

Ellen suddenly realized she hadn’t been fanning herself since before Annette came in and started quickly fanning herself again. “— Maybe I will take you up on that!” she said, cutting Nell off, and quickly walked through the doors into the dining hall.

“Ellen, you brat!” Nell called from behind her.

Ellen took a look around the room and was surprised to spot the 2018 Polycule; she wandered towards them as she preferred hanging out with them when available. “I thought you lot were banned from the parties with undisclosed people at them?” she said with a wink as she sat down in an empty seat.

***

Randal sighed as he sat down in the still-empty dining room and pulled his phone out of his pocket. He wasn’t supposed to have it out in the common rooms, and if Maria noticed later, he’d probably lose it for a while, but he needed a distraction from his thoughts that didn’t involve other people.

He opened the reader app and continued reading one of the more tolerable romance novels he’d found. It was hetero for one, which he definitely preferred to the lesbian and bisexual shenanigans in most of the novels. For another it involved Scottish nobility, which Randal always found slightly fascinating. There was a bit of sword play to liven things up, which, okay, was mostly about making the hunky guy hunkier, and Randal had never been that type, but at least it wasn’t all pent-up slow-burn that had an underwhelming pay-off.

He swiped to the next page, and leaned his head on his other hand, trying to focus on reading, but his mind wandered. Name choosing indeed. What utter nonsense. But Derek was right in one regard: That’s the path they were all heading down, even if he didn’t want it. Maybe if he asked Maria to start calling him ‘Ramona’ again, it might throw her off-balance for a bit. But not today, he didn’t need that shit today.

And Grant finally caught up with the rest of them about Sophia. It was only surprising because Grant had managed to finally piece it together. And it wasn’t really all that surprising when it was finally confirmed by the sponsors. Annoying maybe, angering perhaps, but not surprising.

Sophia would most likely take it harder than the boys, honestly. That girl was nothing but a giant ball of cotton candy — he couldn’t figure out how she didn’t collapse under the weight of her own farcical niceness. The boys would return to focusing their anger at the sponsors for including a ringer in due time. Randal also suspected after Grant’s little fit this morning that his feeble mind was cooking something up, and Randal mostly wished for popcorn when it went down.

That Brent had been right, as Grant pointed out, mattered little; none of them would stay mad at the one person in the basement who was nice to all of them. It was, honestly, surprisingly odd, though, how much emptier the basement seemed when she wasn’t around. The idea that he, Randal Stevenson, could miss her? It was absurd!

The doors to the dining hall opened, and he expected to see Derek and Owen, but a few sponsors came in pushing a couple of carts that they unloaded with five covered plates. One of the nameless girls set a plate in front of him, and he uncovered it to see a rather decent Easter lunch, with lamb, a little roast potatoes, some unidentified casserole and a nice-looking croissant. The final thing they unloaded was a basket of profiteroles for the group to share.

The other four boys came in shortly after, ushered in by another couple of sponsors, and after all of them were seated, the sponsors just as quickly vanished. None of their usual sponsors were in the cadre, and that was mildly interesting. As he took a tentative taste of the food, he had to admit it was excellent and whoever made it knew what they were doing. He’d missed out on Christmas lunch and dinner in his cell, having been given plates with veggie burgers instead. He shivered briefly at the memory of that cell, a time he hated to remember.

The mood in the dining room was somewhat off as they ate. Whether the revelations about Sophia or Derek’s thinking about the names, he wasn’t sure what was the major contributor, but Randal mostly just ate and read his book, ignoring their petty squabbles. When he’d finished, he grabbed a few of the profiteroles on a napkin, picked up his phone, and left the others in the dining room, ignoring Owen’s claim that he’d taken ‘more than his share’.

He returned to the common room, flopped on a couch far from the TV, and continued eating. The profiteroles were pretty good, as good as anything he might get at a nice pâtisserie. The marquess and the estate manageress were going to have to kiss eventually, and maybe that would be enough distraction from this place for a bit. A part of him still hoped to get out of here and destroy it, but they kept throwing mental blows at him when he could least resist them, and they were taking their toll. He wasn’t ready to admit openly he’d done wrong. It had all just been jokes, he reminded himself. Just jokes.

***

Nerys had to push open Sophia’s first floor door for her with her free hand. By the time they got to her door, Sophia was shaking terribly, and barely managed to unlock it. Nerys guided her into the room, towards the bed, and tried to help her sit down gently but they wound up both collapsing on her bed next to each other. “Hey, it’s okay,” Nerys said quietly, leaning in close to Sophia’s head. “What’s the matter, Pinkie? You were fine when we started climbing the stairs.”

Nerys waited patiently for Sophia to respond, her breath slowing eventually, whatever calming techniques she used apparently working. “Seems like hours ago we started climbing… but they know,” she breathed out finally. “It’s over. They’ll never see me the same.”

“It’s going to be okay,” Nerys said, squeezing Sophia’s shoulder with her arm that was pinned under Sophia. “Mary and Steph both said it would be okay, and I believe them. The others know that you wouldn’t harm a fly and all the blame lies with the programme, not you.”

“But now they’ll be judging me from now on,” Sophia said. “And they know that Brent was right about everything.”

“Brent wasn’t right about anything,” Nerys said, putting her other arm around Sophia and pulling her into a hug.

“Wasn’t he, though? I am a collaborator, a plant, and I’m very trans and gay, even if I don’t like his words for it.”

Nerys frowned. “Okay, but if you’re a collaborator, so am I. I’m more than just in this for myself at this point,” Nerys said quietly. “Hell, I’m being nice to fucking Randal because I don’t even know why. Mary told me how proud she was of me for it, though, so I keep doing it. And yes, I realize just how attached I am to her approval, and yours.”

Sophia laughed lightly. “To collaboration,” she said, and finally shifted so that she could return Nerys’s hug. “And approval-seeking. God, I need Steph’s approval so bad at times and I know it, but also I still need it. Thank you, Rainbow — even if I’m still nervous, I’ll be okay knowing you and Stephanie are here for me.”

“It’s going to be okay, Pinkie,” Nerys said, releasing the hug and grinning. “I guess we should be getting ready?”

“I think your dress got put back in my wardrobe,” Sophia said, grinning. “I can’t wait to show everyone!”

“I don’t know how I let you talk me into us wearing matching dresses again,” Nerys said, laughing. “Sometimes it feels like we’re little kids — people dressing us up, trying to teach us how to human from scratch.”

“In one sense, we are back to being new to everything,” Sophia said, grinning. “In another, it’s like we’re mid-puberty all over again.” She pulled Nerys in and gave her a quick deep kiss.

Nerys grinned when Sophia came up for air. “Oh, I see how it is,” she said and went to kiss Sophia back only for Sophia to dodge out of the way.

They descended into a fit of giggles as each tried to kiss the other. Eventually, they both caught each other again, and they progressed quickly past kissing. Their passions continued until they were interrupted by Stephanie’s polite, but coded knock. “Yes, Stephanie?” Sophia called through the door.

“You two might want to think about getting ready for lunch at some point,” Stephanie called. “And, uh, I hope you’re doing okay, all things considered.”

“I’m doing pretty swell, actually” Sophia called, looking at Nerys with a blissful smile on her face. “Nerys helped remind me that I have… good… things in my life.”

Nerys giggled and Sophia quickly shushed her and clearly fighting a fit of giggles of her own.

“I’m glad,” Stephanie said with a mirthful little giggle muffled by the door. “But just the same, maybe should start getting ready. Are you two going to need any help with getting ready?”

“No, I think we’ve got it,” Sophia called. “Nerys has been getting pretty good with makeup.”

Nerys blushed hard, it was still weird getting a compliment for something six months ago she would’ve made fun of people for. “What time is lunch again?” Nerys asked quietly.

“Lunch? Noon, but it’s already 1100,” Stephanie called. “And there are people who will want to say hello to you beforehand.”

“Got it!” Sophia called, grinning at Nerys, who was still blushing. “Will be down as soon as possible.”

“We should probably get a shower first,” Nerys said, sniffing herself. “But, uh, maybe mostly washing.”

“Aww, okay,” Sophia said grinning and heading to the bathroom and playfully shutting the door behind her only for Nerys to come in any way. They both quickly undressed from their remaining clothes and got in the shower. Sophia started to reach for the soap, and Nerys pushed her hand away from it, leaning in to kiss Sophia’s neck from behind.

“I said mostly washing, but I didn’t say no fun,” Nerys said when she pulled back.

They did try to wash up and get out relatively quickly, though, and soon enough they were out and dried off. They were both keeping their legs and faces clear these days already, so at least neither had to stop for shaving. Sophia and Nerys quickly got dressed and Nerys insisted on at least attempting her makeup on her own, but for all Nerys had improved at makeup, she still wasn’t quick at it.

Sophia helped her a bit in the end, but not much, and Sophia praised her, causing her to blush deeply again. When they were both satisfied they were ready for lunch, they quickly headed towards the stairs with plenty of time, a whole luxurious quarter of an hour for socializing like the proper young ladies they were becoming. As she and Sophia started down the stairs, Nerys suppressed a giggle at the thought of herself becoming any kind of young lady, much less a proper one.