Explanations of an Older Brother

I entered the palace. There was a sense of familiarity as I walked in. Though this was a place that I did not yet know, I could vaguely remember these patterns that were etched into the pillars. 

There was the boy whom I saw yesterday, waiting for me. I saw that his features mirrored mine in some ways more than others.

He invited me to sit with him in a small gesture at the seat beside him.

"Third imperial brother." I greeted him shyly. I was not sure how this was to be done, but there was no going wrong to a polite greeting.

I looked up at him to see him with a frown. Was it something with my greeting that he was unfamiliar with. The expression upon my face was that of utter confusion.

He seemed to become more gentle when he saw my face, "How many times have I told you to call me older brother, there is no need for such a ceremony." He said as pulled on my sleeve. My hand involuntarily clenched beneath my sleeves as I felt him touching me.

"Older brother." I put a delicate smile on my face and watched him. Though I was not adept at smiling, I once practiced a lot, and most would not be able to tell the difference between one true and one false. 

He nodded his head and we both began eating the dishes that were placed upon the table.

In truth, I was not that hungry, but he kept placing food into my dish. I continued to eat yet the food in my dish was unwilling to dwindle.

Fine, I can accept this treatment.

"Do you know where Imperial concubine mother is?" He suddenly asked.

I shook my head slowly while chewing on the food. I could presume that she was nothing more than a corpse rotting in a grand tomb. I had never seen her face, let alone know what type of mother she was. But I've heard that children of the emperor did not get to spend much time with their birth mothers.

He pointed upwards, "She has ascended the heavens." then looked back at me in a comforting manner, "She may visit you in your dreams if you think about her."

"Where is it?" I asked. Tilting my head in confusion. I did not entertain the thoughts of thinking about a woman I have never met and inviting her into my dreams. I had once had my doubts about the so-called 'ascending' after death, but now, I felt as though I could grasp some of its secrets.

A lifetime ago, there had always been the belief of no matter how powerful one was, one would never know such secrets, even if I was able to control so many, I could never change time itself. 

I paused my thoughts and listened to his explanation.

"A place far from home, where it does not matter for a soul to be encased in a body made of living flesh and blood. Where one can start anew…" He paused for a moment, losing track of time and thought back seriously on his said words.

I used a hand to support my chin to observe him carefully. He was quite well articulated for his age. With that, I could feel my admiration for him deepen.

A strange feeling it is to have someone treat you like a child. There was a part of me that wanted to experience what was once lost to me. Yet now I understood that innocence was something that I would only ever be able to replicate, and never truly have.

When I looked at him, there was a light in his eyes as he spoke to me and urged me to eat more. I had not the heart to tell him that his brother was here no longer. There was a sliver of fear that if I had, he would never look at me this way again.

As we finished our meal, the tables were cleared and I was brought back to my room.

It was an uneventful time, where there was no one around, except for the servants standing around like marble carved statues, which were an eyesore, yet ironically, they did liven the place up. I was in a dilemma on whether I should dismiss them or not.

In the end, I got my servant to help me dismiss them.

"Your highness, will it be all right?"

"I'll be fine," I assured them.

Like statues imbued with life, they bowed and made their way out of sight. Leaving me in a vast room, that had now been deserted.

I made my way to a bookcase that stood in a corner of the room. It was not understood why there was a bookcase here in the palace of a prince who was not yet four years old, but it was somewhat useful to me, so it would be kept around.

Silently, I lit an incense stick in tranquility for my bygone years in my youth, where I had spent them honing my skills so that I may live a better life.