“So, I guess I’ll bite,” I sighed, rubbing my forehead with the tips of my fingers as the headache I’d had since I’d gotten into the car with Sachi raged out of control. “What am I addicted to that requires an intervention?”

“Hiding from the past,” Koemi returned with a shrug.

“Hiding from yourself,” Nanami added.

“Hiding from the world,” Sachi finished up bluntly.

“You’ll have to excuse me if I’m missing something,” I scowled. “But I’m pretty sure it’s my life and I can live it however I want. I am, after all, an adult. I can choose to do whatever I see fit provided I break no laws. Or is that no longer allowed?”

“Yeah, it’s your life, but your life is intertwined with ours,” Sachi sniped back. “When you hurt, we hurt. That’s how it is with family.”

“You’re right,” I admitted, unable to find any sort of fault in how they’d treated me since I moved to Tokyo. “But I’m not hurting myself and I am most certainly not hiding from anything. Just because I’m not running toward something full speed doesn’t mean I’m hiding from it, you know.”

“Did you seriously just say that?” Sachi gaped at me.

“Yeah,” I shrugged. “Because it’s the truth.”

“Who is ‘Alexendra Miranov’, then?” Sachi asked, leaning forward slightly, arms folded on the table in front of her. I blanched slightly.

“Uh…” I thought hard, trying to come up with a plausible lie.

“You are going to extreme lengths to keep yourself from any public exposure, Kasumi,” Sachi scowled. “Don’t bother answering, we know it’s you. There are only two kinds of people who do that sort of thing. Either people hiding from the law, or people hiding from the past. So, which is it?”

“So, I didn’t want my name on a freaking porn game,” I sighed irritably. “How is that weird? No one would take me seriously as an artist with my name plastered all over ‘Cum Queens of Shibuya.’”

“Ah, so it’s your artistic integrity you’re worried about then?” Sachi tapped her chin thoughtfully. “That makes sense! I mean, except taking into consideration that when your college had a showing you signed your work ‘Makoto Mami.’”

“Ok, ok,” I sighed, running my hands through my hair. “Fine. I kept myself out of the limelight. I don’t see how my past or desire to limit my exposure to it warrants the interrogation treatment, though. I don’t ask you guys about what happened when you broke up. I respect your space and privacy.”

“Fair enough,” Sachi shrugged.

“Honey,” Nanami stepped around the table and sat next to me, taking my hands in hers. “I know how my sister is. She thinks she knows everything. She’s judgy, locked in a staid world of ultra conservative bliss where nothing happens that she doesn’t control. She lives and breathes tradition, and all the bad that can come with that. Honestly, I’m not even sure the traditions she holds on to so tightly are traditions at all. Most of them are probably constructs she created in her own mind to justify believing and behaving the way she does.

“When you came to us, I knew she had done something to you,” Nanami scowled deeply. “As time went on and we found out you were gay, we kind of knew what happened.” I started to speak and Nanami shook her head. “You don’t have to say anything. We don’t mean to be cruel or try to make you relive something you don’t want to relive. That’s not why we brought you here.”

“Ok,” I glanced at them all suspiciously. “Then why did you bring me here?”

“We know you’re hurting, Kasumi,” Akari shook her head. “I know that as well as anyone. You never asked what happened when we “broke up” and we never volunteered the information, either. Let me just say that the past never goes away. It eats at you, and it will rear its head when you least expect it to. It will destroy your present; it will wreck your future and it will keep doing it until you face it head on. It will do all of that and more and doesn’t care if you want to or even can remember it.”

“So, what?” I scoffed. “You want me to go have a talk with my mom? Have a nice cup of tea and some crackers? Ask how dad’s sciatica’s doing? Bury the hatchet? That’s not going to happen. I remember every second of everything that happened. I remember having to beg money from Komari san just to get out of Tottori with what little I had left and I sure as hell have no interest in being magnanimous and just forgiving and forgetting. Sorry to disappoint.”

“We’re not asking you to forgive and forget,” Nanami shook her head. “We all deal with things differently and we’re not here to tell you how to deal with what’s happened.”

“Then, seriously, what are you here to do? You start with an ‘intervention’ and then tell me you’re not here to tell me how to feel. What, exactly, are you here to do?” I shook my head in confusion.

“We want you to be managing director of Kunoichi Enterprises, K,” Koemi shrugged. “Like we said in the news conference.

“This again?” I sighed in frustration. “How is this even remotely related to an intervention or anything else we’ve been talking about?”

“You’re in a rut, honey,” Nanami patted my hands lovingly. “You’re hiding from everything and everyone, whether you admit it or not. You’re hiding from the past, hiding from the world, hiding from things only you know about fully. And we don’t blame you! The problem, though, and why we brought you here, is you’re hiding from your future as well. I know you hate your job and – “

“Ex job,” I muttered. “They fired me when a boatload of idol hopefuls showed up outside the building.”

“Ah…” Nanami slumped.

“That was…not intentional,” Akari looked devastated. “We’re so sorry.”

“Eh,” I shrugged. “It was a shit job anyway. You probably did me a favor.”

“So, is what Komari said true?” Rei asked.

“About what?” I tried to remember everything that was said but a lot happened in a short amount of time and it kind of congealed into a blur in my memory.

“You never called her?”

“Ah…uh…no, I guess I didn’t,” I admitted, guilt rising like a wave.

“She helped you leave, and you never called her,” Sachi shook her head. “What about those other friends Komari mentioned? Did you ever try to contact them?”

“I…my dad broke my phone, and I didn’t have their numbers memorized,” I clapped back defensively.

“And in the information age with the internet at your fingertips you never looked them up? Never bothered seeing if they had social media? Never tried to see how your leaving affected them?” Sachi drove the point home. She was a great idol but was going to be a terrifying lawyer.

I hadn’t. I’d thought about it and even started to look for Emi but remembering back to how she’d been shipped off away from her home and Mio because of me…in the end I couldn’t bring myself to do it. She was better off without me. Honestly, they all were. It didn’t take a genius to figure that much out.

“Who I contact and when is my business, isn’t it?” I bristled. She was right. Of course I knew that. I hadn’t done my best to try to contact them. Maybe it was the humiliation of being cheated on so brazenly with my own brother. Perhaps it was the added shame of being kicked out of my house by my parents or having the fact I was gay so casually spread around town. Perhaps a combination of all three. Regardless, I had shut off the past when I left and that is where it belonged. In the past.

“Of course,” Sachi shrugged. “Except when it hurts you. Because something that hurts you, hurts us all.”

“Maybe you don’t see how miserable and scared you are,” Nanami shook her head. “Maybe you don’t see how hiding yourself from everyone and everything is causing you pain.”

“I’m not in pain,” I insisted.

“Hiding from the world is a prime indicator.,” Sachi replied. “Keeping your head down like you’re a criminal is pain. You have no social network presence. You have no friends other than us. You have nothing you do with others except the inevitable break up every few months. You say you’re not in pain, but what about the girls you’ve left in your wake? Are they not in pain?”

“That’s not fair,” I snapped.

“No, it’s not,” Sachi agreed. “It’s not fair to you and it’s not fair to them. What happened with Izumi?”

“We…” I trailed off.

“And did it end amicably?” Sachi pressed.

“That’s none of your business,” I growled.

“Do you see what we mean?” Akari leaned closer, her soft brown eyes holding me fast. “We know you’re hurting. We know you feel that whatever happened is something you can’t get over and you’re right! As of this moment you can’t get over it. Because you must face it, sweety.

“My mom committed suicide when I was a little girl. I blocked it out and tried to pretend it never happened. I mortgaged my future to hide from my past. Finally, though, I had to face her suicide. I had to stand and look the past in the eye if I wanted to have any chance of a future within my control.”

“I-I’m sorry, Akari. I didn’t know,” I muttered, unable to break away from the soft grip of her gaze. Akari had never mentioned her mother’s suicide before. In fact, she rarely talked about her life before Kunoichi at all, let alone something like that. I had no idea so much pain was hidden deep inside the normally bubbly woman’s past and suddenly desperately wanted to give her a hug.

“I am, too,” Akari nodded. “I’m sorry she never got to see the Akari I am, now. I’m sorry I never got to know her better. I have a lot of regrets, Kasumi.” She leaned forward and folded me in a hug of her own, holding me tight. “But I got the best gift I’ve ever been given. I got peace. Peace with the past and peace with the present. That, more than anything, is what we want for you.”

“It…it’s hard,” I whispered into her shoulder as she hugged me close.

“I know it is. Sometimes the past is the hardest thing to overcome because it’s already happened. We can’t fight what’s already played out. We can’t struggle against the chains that have already bound us. It takes strength beyond anything you’ve ever had to display. And, sometimes, it takes other people to lend us the strength we don’t have ourselves. That’s what we want to give you, Kasumi. Our strength and our love.”

“In return we want your strength to help us,” Sachi gently pressed.

“Help you what?” I wiped tears from the corners of my eyes as Akari gently broke the hug and smiled at me, her own tears streaking her cheeks.

“We’re asking for you to do something wonderful for young girls, many who need something…anything wonderful in their life. We’re asking you to help us make someone else’s dream come true and maybe even put your past to rest in the process. What do you think?”

“Fine,” I sighed. “I’m not saying I’ll agree but tell me what you want.”