Another cold day in this fucking isekai.

I sighed at my misfortunes since there was nothing else I could do. This was it, no more food, no more money. When my brother came back from church school, he too, would spend the night hungry.

If it was just me, I could endure it. I had memories from my previous life after all. Even though they were just me being a programmer in a cubicle, those memories still kept me sane all this time. I was sane, even after changing my gender.

I looked down at the huge bulges on my chest. In my previous life I was just a vanilla guy, straight as they come. I had a few girlfriends, but none of their boobs were as big as mine. You’d think someone like me would play with themselves, if nothing for the sheer curiosity. And you would be right. A few years back, I did try, and promptly stopped.

Was it because I was a half-elf, or the female body is sensitive in general, but as I pinched my nipples, the sensation was so… dangerous… that I never dared to try again. And that was just my nipples! To date, I was deathly afraid of masturbating.

I shook my head to disturb my own dirty thoughts. Today was another cloudy day, and with the lack of sun, the cold had already started to seep in. The shack, our home, whistled away as the cold wind hit the old planks.

“I should try to reduce the draft first,” I murmured, mostly to make myself stand up and do something, rather than trying to think of ways to make money. If we froze to death, what would be the point?

I still had some old rags around, clean ones of course. Although the hygiene standards of this isekai weren’t as bad as I had thought, laundry practices were just short of being called abysmal. Still, I washed everything by hand, even if they were just unrecognizable rags.

“There… and there… Huh…” The draft was almost gone to my surprise. Still, I could tell it was too cold for a human. I may be a half-elf, but my brother was a full-blooded human. Frankly speaking, I’m not even sure if we were blood-related, but, he was the only one that I had. I was an orphan in my previous life as well, so maybe I was just trying to fill a hole. Who knows.

I sat down and tried to think of ways to either make money or get some food. Due to the influx of refugees, my usual jobs were completely useless. Selling trinkets? Washing laundry? Quite a few of the refugees voluntarily sold themselves to slavery, and such jobs were no longer possible for the peasant folk. If it wasn’t winter, perhaps I could collect herbs, but even that had become dangerous in the months preceding the cold.

“Knock Knock”

I immediately frowned at the sound of someone knocking on the door. Our shack didn’t have much, but at least it was a roof over our heads. Was it the thugs that came by again? I held my breath, hoping that they would think no one was here. Maybe we should change our location after all.

But my worries were seemingly for nothing, I hear a familiar voice, male, older, and raspy. Just registering the words in my head took some time because of my panic.

“Open up Elanor, everything’s fine, I’m just here to check up on you.”

“Uncle Rodrick?” I inadvertently mutter in disbelief. My frown turns into a smile before I know it, and I speak in a hurry. “I-I’m opening, hold on!”

This Uncle Rodrick always reminded me of a co-worker from my previous life. If I was born male, I’m sure we would’ve gotten along great as friends. But since I was a girl, there was always some distance between us. Still, Rodrick and his wife were some of the few people that actually gave a damn about us siblings. Even in times of distress, they were always welcome in my heart.

I opened the door in a hurry. The bright exterior momentarily blinded my eyes, but that didn’t matter, I simply beckoned at Rodrick to enter. Though he was a C-Rank adventurer, he still needed quite a few layers of coating. As he entered, I felt something strange, as if Rodrick seemed troubled somehow.

“How are you doing these days?” Rodrick asked as he sat down at the only chair in the shack, his voice seemed to have less energy than usual. I sat down on the floor opposite him. Before I could answer, he continued with the same listless tone. “It’s been a month since I last saw you two.”

“We’ve…” The words became entangled in my mouth. The world was harsh, to say the least. And sometimes, encountering someone that gave a damn, made it all the more awful. It sounds ungrateful, I know, but those bright moments only seemed to emphasize the darkness that followed. I barely complete my sentence, withholding my tears. “… been making do…”

“Nn. I saw the little brat the other day.” Rodrick said, looking into my eyes. “Became thin as a fiddle. But you…” He openly inspected my body. “I guess being a Half-Elf has its perks.”

At that moment, I froze completely.

“I knew it the moment I saw you kids.” Rodrick nonchalantly said, shaking his head.

He knew?! Panic rose in my heart. I wasn’t worried about Rodrick, not only he was one of the rare good people that we knew, but he was also a C-Rank adventurer. He probably met people from all walks of life and had some ability to observe.

But if he knew, wouldn’t others also know?

I never saw any other half or full-blooded elf in my life. Pure-bloods usually lived in forests as I heard from the stories, and had a particular disdain for humans, even more so for half-humans, which was their term for people like me. A typical isekai trope, elves hating half-elves. But I rolled with it, because there was nothing I could do.

However, since elves shunned half-elves, humans treated us even worse. I am lucky enough to have ears almost as small as a human, that’s how I was able to get by. Otherwise, I would’ve been turned into a slave long ago.

Suffice it to say, others knowing... was not something I was looking forward to.

“Even a half-elf won’t be able to survive for long if there isn’t much food on the table,” Rodrick spoke, perhaps not even minding what was in going through my head. Or perhaps he was just trying to make me feel secure. He took out a loaf of bread from underneath the outer layers of his coat.

Moldy bread, to be precise. Half of its exterior was bright green, but I couldn’t care less at that moment. Almost instinctively, I calculated how long the bread could last. Maybe a few days for my brother, if he ate all of it by himself. Mercifully, I didn’t need as much food as him.

“This one’s not for free. Not anymore.” I heard Rodrick’s voice. The silence between us grew, giving a chance to the ill winter winds to fill in the void. I dared to hope, perhaps Uncle Rodrick found a job for me? I was at the point of going to the adventurers guild to work as a porter, an incredibly dangerous job for a normal person like me, half-elf or not. If it was Uncle Rodrick, I had no qualms about carrying weight day and night.

But he didn’t elaborate, instead, he stood up and threw his outer coat at the chair. It was only then, I could see his face. Once a man full of mirth, now devoid of any emotion. At that moment, I noticed something peculiar. He never mentioned anything about his wife like he used to. Then, he started undoing his belt. I was so surprised that I looked into his eyes, but he didn’t stop, took a step forward instead.

“Running won’t do you any good,” Rodrick said. “I’ve been looking after you brats for a while, now’s the time to pay.” He finally lowered his underwear, and his cock came into my full view.

I completely froze. What was happening? My brain couldn’t resolve the sequence of events. The thought of running immediately came to my mind. But then, I found myself looking at the ground, with the left side of my face burning.

“I said, running won’t do you any good. Get up.” His voice became dangerously low. I tried to control my shaking hands and tried to sit up. “No, come here.” He ordered, his finger pointing to his cock.

My cheek was burning, and my lips were swelling up from the slap. A metallic taste was in my mouth, for the first time in two lifetimes. If I resisted, there was no telling what he might have done. So I swallowed my fear, and slowly crawled towards him, because it was clear that my legs couldn’t bear to stand up.

Once I got close enough, he grabbed my chin and made me look at his face. “I’ll do one last favor to you siblings.” He said and used his other hand to shove his flaccid cock on my lips. “Be mindful of the teeth.” He finished with an almost growling voice.

If I wanted to survive, I had to do it. I tried to ignore the stench, I tried to ignore the cold and soft skin on my lips. I opened my mouth and took his dick inside, barely preventing myself from dry heaving.

“Yeah, you elf bitch, take it. Suck it.” He growled, no longer attempting to hide the cruelty in his voice.

I was a man in my previous life. The thought of having someone’s dick in my mouth never occurred to me, not really. But now, my life was depending on it.

I tried to suck it just a little to appease him. The taste intensified, but I was too afraid to stop. I could feel his foreskin giving way to the head of his cock. This piece of shit, was actually getting hard.

He grabbed my head from the back and shoved me deep into his crotch. “Suck it properly.”

His dick was still half-flaccid, but even so, I could feel it all the way back in my throat. And to make it even worse, I could tell it was only halfway in. He was at least twice as big as me in my previous life.

I tried to suck all the way and started moving my head. My spit acting as a lubricant, I could hear a familiar sound, a sound that I hadn’t heard in years.

[Slurp] [Slurp]

Yes, I was fully sucking his massive cock, giving him a proper blowjob.

[Slurp] [Slurp]

After a few seconds, his cock started to get bigger; I could feel the blood pumping inside, making him fully erect. A foul stench spread at the back of my throat, but other than that I could no longer taste his cock, maybe out of fear. I tightly wrapped my lips around his dick and moved my head, using my tongue to further tighten things up. I don’t know how long this went on, but at some point, I realized I was stroking his shaft with my hand.

[Slurp] [Slurp]

“Mmmmm” He started moaning. “Yeah, that’s it…”

Seeing that he was into it, I started blowing him even faster. My tongue moved around to simulate his glans and retracted foreskin. I sucked as hard as I could, moved my head as fast as I could. Somehow, I could feel his cock getting even bigger and harder.

“Yes, bitch. That’s it. Aahh…”

A new taste entered my mouth, but I couldn’t stop and think. His cock started throbbing, and I felt his hand on my hand once more.

“Take it deep!”

He shoved my head with even more force than before. I felt like my throat was on fire, and my eyes were about to pop up. But the worse was his dick, throbbing violently. I knew what would come next, and when it happened, it was even worse than I imagined.

Something hot and sticky hit the back of my throat with sickening force, all the way into my esophagus. One throb, two throbs, I could feel his burning hot cum at the center of my chest, some of it was also coming back up, bringing that intense stench that I never could’ve imagined, into my mouth. But he didn’t stop there. Three, four, five, six, I lost count after sperm started gushing out from my mouth. I tried to swallow, desperately, but his massive cock was completely blocking my muscles. I couldn’t even gasp for breath, and he was still cumming deep inside my throat.

“Yeaah, that’s it…” He shoved his cock deep once again. “How do you like your breakfast?” Once more, he shoved me deep, causing me to squirt even more cum outside. Not only on my face, but I could feel the creamy liquid on my chest, even through the many layers of cloth.

Thankfully, after cumming so much, his dick started to soften. Still unable to breathe, I pushed myself away and desperately tried to swallow. If I puked, I knew wouldn’t be able to stop, and eventually pass out from lack of air. With my last strength, I pushed and pushed. Cum wasn’t cooperating, wanting to stick to my throat, but I tried anyway. Just as my vision started to darken, I succeeded and gasped for air. I could feel the life returning to me with each breath, carrying a rancid bleachy stench with it.

“That’s it. Now clean it.” Rodrick ordered. “Do it, or do you want me to take you somewhere else?”

Still gasping for air, my eyes met his, and I immediately lowered my gaze. He wasn’t joking, I could tell.

Desperate to be done with it, I stood on my knees once more even though my breath was yet to stabilize. I grabbed his half-hard dick and started slurping the cloudy white cum. My hands were shaking from fear, but I couldn’t stop. I sucked, slurped, and licked. Even his hairy balls were splashed with cum, and I cleaned them with my tongue and lips. But, regrettably, I could feel his cock becoming hard as I cleaned. I tried to take a glance -just a glance- and saw his face watching me with a filthy smile.

I could feel the dread inside me grow. My hands were now holding his clean, but fully erect cock. If I were to stop now, I was sure that he would try to rape me. So what could I do?

I started sucking his dick once more. Maybe if I were to make him cum a second time, he wouldn’t be able to get it up to rape me. I tried to reason in a desperate situation.

But all was for naught. He stopped me and sat on the chair with a satisfied grin. “Remove your underwear.” He said. “I could beat you up and rape you, or you can ride my dick. The choice is yours. Either way is fine with me. Crying is useless.”

Despair led my eyes downward, and I saw my tears dropping on the cum stained floorboards. I wanted to die, I didn't want to do this. I wanted to die, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to. He wouldn’t let me.

Before I knew it, I had stood up. My legs were wobbling, but that didn’t prevent me from removing my clothes. My dress was but simple rags, folded into each other. This way I could keep my daily clothes cleaner, because washing them with the frozen river was impossible, even for my half-elf body.

Rags dropped to the floor stained with white; I was certain I wouldn't be able to use them as clothing any longer. Then I stared at Rodrick, his completely erect cock full of veins. A little something inside me died at the thought of taking a dick inside. I was a virgin, how could I take in something thicker than my forearm?

Rodrick tapped near his crotch, showing me a dangerous gaze. I lowered my eyes and got closer, step by step, almost falling in the process. I couldn’t even imagine how I would climb on top, but humans were resilient species. Or maybe it was my elven side, I don’t know. I put my shaking arms on his shoulders and lifted my left leg over his crotch. The movement was too much for my feeble muscles and I ended up falling on his stomach. I whimpered and covered my face, but his reaction was to simply move his hips.

I could feel his cock slapping my butt. Maybe he found this funny, but I heard him chuckle and snort. We were so close that I could feel the stench of alcohol on his breath. While I was trying to recover quickly, he slapped my butt, making me leak out a moan.

“MmhAAA!”

I shut my mouth quickly and lifted myself up. His cock stayed between my cheeks, guiding my body to go higher and higher. Finally, I looked down, gathered my strength, and used my left hand to move his dick to the lips of my vagina. Just the touch alone made me shiver in terror, and made my body falter, causing the tip of his dick to penetrate inside.

“AAhhHH!” I let out a painful moan. He was just too big! I tightly closed my eyes and tried to stay at the same level, but my body slowly slid down despite my attempts. “AAHHHAaaaa!” I screamed, something inside me snapped and tore apart. I realized I was no longer a virgin, but that didn’t even matter compared to the fact that I was being raped.

I don’t know how long I lasted in that state, but Rodrick slowly started moving his hips. “No! S-Stop!! WWait, it h-hurts!” Words came out on their own but Rodrick didn’t mind my cries. No, perhaps he found it arousing instead, as his movement started to become more forceful, and more regular.

“AAahhmmm…” I lost all sense of control over my body. With each thrust, the pain intensified as his cock slowly made its way inside of me. “MmmmAaahhh!!”

“18-year-old cunt is surely so different. Sooo tight…” He spoke with a panting voice. I felt his body tensing up, his arms grabbed my hips, forcing me to match his own movement.

“No… [Pant] Please… S-Stooaaaph… [Pant]”

“You say stop, but you’re the wettest girl I’ve ever had.” He spoke under his ragged breath and then forced my body down completely.

“AAAAHHHH!!!” I screamed, tears trickling down. Even breathing became an ordeal. A huge, hard rock rod, getting squeezed by my innards... Pain overshadowed, swallowed everything else.

[Slosh] [Slosh]

That arm-sized cock was now fully inside, freely thrusting about. My insides felt like they were going to explode, yet I was able to accept the monster dick as if it was nothing.

[Slosh] [Slosh] [Slosh]

My body gave up; my head started flailing around from the force of his thrusts. My neck was hurting, my insides were crying. I was just a piece of flesh, waiting for my rapist to orgasm. Waiting for the nightmare to finish.

“Your moans are really something else…”

Was I moaning? I didn’t know. I had no idea what was going on. Then Rodrick suddenly stopped. Was he finished? Apparently not, because he laid me down on the floor, and ripped out the rags covering my chest.

“Elf whores were really different after all.” He said with furious vigor. I couldn’t see his face clearly because my hair was covering my eyes, but I could see some redness on his crotch, dripping away with presumably my juices.

Without saying anything, he spread my legs wide and opened my arms. He even fixed my hair so that I could see better.

“You like that don’t you? You want that big human cock!” He spoke as if I hurt someone dear to him, then jammed his dick deep inside me. To my surprise, my body accepted it easily, I could even feel my insides wrapping around his manhood of their own volition. I had no say in the matter.

“Mmmmmaaaahhhh… pant” I realize the sound I was making. I… really was… “MmmaaahHHH!!!” Moaning.

He started thrusting once more, but this time his mouth started sucking my nipples. I had played only once with my breasts, and my nipples were never as hard as this.

“[Slosh] [Slosh] MmmmAaahHH…“

What was wrong with me? I could feel each thrust of my rapist was filled with some astounding, inexplicable hatred, and yet, moans were escaping my mouth constantly. “AAaahhhh!!! [Slosh]” Because I was lying down now, leftover cum stuck at the recesses of my mouth dripped into my tongue. That foul taste… “Mmmmm…”

“Yeah… You bitch… You can’t have kids anyway right? Then accept my seed…”

I couldn’t do anything anyway, so I stayed silent.

“AAHHHHH!!!” He let out a satisfied moan, I felt his cock enlargen, and its tip felt as if it was pushing against a wall inside me. “AAAAHHHHHH…” Hot cum started filling me, each throbbing thrust brought out more and more. My insides were too tight, so the excess cum exploded outward. I could feel its scent permeating the air. Rodrick thrusted more and more, but his balls were already empty.

Without a word, he stood up and forced my mouth open. I already knew what he wanted, so I started sucking his dick without questioning. The taste of his sperm was the same, but now diluted with my pussy juice. Somehow that made everything taste even fouler. Having no other option, I sucked him clean, slurping his cum where ever I could see it. Two tastes danced on my tongue eventually merging into one.

I was afraid that he would go hard again, but this time he didn’t.

As I laid there, he stood up and started dressing. Not a single muscle on my body was answering my calls. I couldn’t even close my legs.

“Get yourself something to eat.” Said Rodrick, and I heard the tingle of coins hitting the floor. Then a moment later I heard him leave.

I waited, unable to move. And once I was convinced he wasn’t coming back, tears filled the absence. I didn’t know I could cry that much, and for that long.

But I couldn’t feel sorry for myself. Because my brother was going to come back before sunset.

I had to pick myself up.

The first that came back was my neck. I tightly closed my eyes to get rid of my tears and looked around. The sight was even worse than I had imagined. I was a man in my previous life, I had watched my fair share of porn, but I had never seen any adult video with this much cum. My crotch and legs were a mess, I could see even from that shallow angle.

How could I clean this up? There were no cleaning products in this world, and even if there were, we couldn’t afford them. Over the years I used a special clay-like soil to clean up the shack each spring, but I didn’t even know where to get it in this cold. I couldn’t shower, nor could I use our last few logs of firewood just to heat up cleaning water. I had to use cold water to wipe myself, but someone had to get it from the communal well outside. I couldn’t afford to wear my only set of clothes in my current state, nor could I wear those rags outside anymore. Everything, myself included, reeked of cum.

The only reason why nobody dared to touch me was because of my prim and proper appearance. If anyone saw me, detecting the scent of Rodrick’s sperm, my life would become a living hell.

Strength returned to my arms and I lifted myself up, paying attention not to dirty the floor any more than it already was.

I sighed, and that sigh turned into silent sobbing. But I had to be strong. I had to recover. So I started scooping up the leftover sperm. Since I couldn’t risk it, there was only one thing I could do, swallow it. As I moved my arms, more cum discharged from my insides, and my hand was barely able to catch it. I squeezed myself a little more, not minding the pain, and filled my hand completely. I was long past the point of puking from the stench, and hurriedly started scooping sperm into my mouth.

Between hick up like sobbing, I desperately swallowed. The more I squeezed myself, the more came out. Each time sperm stuck to my throat, only to be washed away with more sperm. When everything inside me was out, I scooped what was left on my legs, stomach, and breasts.

Just an hour ago, I was worrying about what we were going to eat. Now I was trying to clean up all the evidence of my rape.

Two hours later, I had cleaned up nearly every part of myself. The cum on the rags, I left them as is, using the few cleaner bits to wipe planks as best as I could. Once I was sure that my legs could carry a water bucket, I used the remaining clean rags that I used to stop the draft, and hurried toward the well.

Thankfully, no one was here at this time of day. If I had left just a little before Rodrick arrived, I wouldn’t be here either, but looking for a job instead.

While carrying the bucket back to the house, I shook my head. What if Rodrick was there when I came back? What if my brother caught him raping me? No, in an instant my thoughts changed.

I could never let my brother know of what happened today. I’d rather die than let him hear the truth.

Inside the shack, I moved the dirty rags outside and buried them. Washing them with a mere bucket of cold water was impossible, and despite my stomach being full of Rodrick’s sperm, I couldn’t even stand their stench. I buried them, so that no one would be able to detect the smell. Using the bucket of water, I cleaned myself as best as I could, using the cone of a pine tree. Nothing like that existed on earth of course, as this pine cone was right orange and had a unique scent of its own. Nobles called it the scent of the masses, as the workers would have no choice but to use it instead of soap or other natural deodorants, in the middle of winter.

For the planks, I tried my best, but in the end I could only cover them up with ash, offering the excuse that I messed up while cleaning, even "burning" some rags in the process.

Firewood was limited, so I couldn’t burn them of course, but since my brother thought I always had the fire burning in the house, it was a plausible lie.

Once I was done cleaning, I looked back at the three coins left by Rodrick. I wished I could throw them away; just looking at them made me queasy. But three silver coins would be able to feed us for the next month. More, if I could be a little more frugal. I didn’t know the worth of three silvers in Earth terms, but I knew it could buy a fair amount of moldy bread and almost rotting millet. Vegetables? No such thing existed for us in winter, not when there were so many refugees anyway.

I knew that I couldn’t go to the market in my state, so I went to a neighboring old grandma instead. She was an opportunist to be sure, but she never tried to con anyone from the neighborhood to my knowledge. When I paid with silver, she looked into my eyes, then my clothes. I realized I had messed up somehow in my hurry, but she didn’t say anything. She never looked into my eyes during the whole transaction after that. Not once. I don’t know why, but that hurt my heart even more than what Rodrick did.

By the time I finished buying something edible and came back to the shack, the sun was already setting. Though I had aired the room, any leftover scent, I hoped would be covered by the firewood I started. The draft that I cursed in the morning, had become my savior.

Soon, my brother arrived. As always, he cheerfully told me the contents of his class. Mostly religious nonsense, just as one would expect from a church. But this was the norm for this world’s commoners. At least he was learning how to read and write. At least he was making social connections with peers of her age and sex. At least he had a chance.

As I listened, I scraped off the moldy parts of the bread thrown away by Rodrick, then put three chucks into my brother’s bowl. I say chunks, because the type of bread we could get could only be crushed and broken, not sliced. Moldy parts, I put them on mine, then covered both bowls with newly made hot porridge. Like always, he wolfed down everything, not even leaving a speck. I struggled against the rising stench of sperm from my stomach, desperately hoping that the porridge would be able to settle things somehow.

Lucas sat near the fire to recite what he had memorized. After feeding my brother, the strength that lifted me up suddenly went away. I curled up near him and fell asleep to his rhythmic voice.