I took the endless queue of dissatisfied expressions in my stride.

Or rather, Apple’s stride.

As he trotted beside the considerable line of carriages, I was met by a colourful array of grimaces from the merchants sitting upon their carts and their heaps of unsold wares. 

Their reaction was only natural. 

As the most prominent customer they’d ever see scoffing at their trinkets and baubles, they realised far too late the folly of attempting to woo me with anything less than a tax summary. And given the stationery nature of their businesses, I was feeling less than optimistic. 

Thus–I turned to other matters.

The parade of colours which waited to greet me in the market town of Hartzwiese.

Beyond the modest gates, I witnessed a sweeping curtain of merriment.

Streams of flags running from window to window like a ceiling of crossing rainbows. Banners flung across balconies and draped upon the faces of chimneys. Smiles filling the faces of parents and children, their laughter joined by a chorus of tinkling shop bells.

It was all I could do to cover my mouth in horror.

This … This was supposed to be a forgotten countryside town of no consequence! 

Here was where the most downtrodden congregated like bees to a sullen daisy! 

And yet as I arrived with the radiance of the evening glare framing my silhouette and Apple’s flaring nostrils, I glimpsed a fanfare of bustling activity to rival that of the royal capital!

“C-Coppelia … the peasants … they’re happy.”

Beside me, my loyal maiden peeked her head out from the window of a carriage. 

How she had entered, when she had entered, and why the sound of trinkets and baubles were rolling across a wooden floorboard and into a pouch were questions I didn’t need to ask.

For now.

“Mmh, sure looks that way~” she said, climbing out with her hands clearly and suspiciously empty. “Why? No good?”

“It’s terrible!”

“Okay.” Coppelia paused, her cogs almost loud enough to whir as she fell into thought. “I don’t understand. Isn’t that good? Happy peasants means not sad peasants. And not sad peasants means no headless princesses.”

I shook the head still very much upon my head, my hands instinctively reaching up to make doubly sure as I did so.

“If only it were that simple. Overly joyful peasants are a severe danger unto themselves.”

“Too much hugging, huh? Human spines are so brittle and weak. One wrong squeeze and crack.”

Hmmmm.

It’d been a while since Coppelia said something which caused me to pause.

On one hand, I was glad. I was becoming more familiar with her quips.

On the other hand, I was deeply concerned. I was becoming more familiar with her quips.

“Happiness and sadness are no simple things. They are whispers as insidious as the song of fame and fortune echoing in the corner of common inns, leading to wild thoughts of misadventures away from the toil of the fields. I’ve no wish for either happy or sad peasants. For either is an extreme leaving them pliable to leaving the wheat to wilt and the floor beneath my table empty.”

“Got it! Meaning what you actually want is …”

“Lethargy and obedience.”

“That’s the one~”

I nodded furiously.

Indeed, as beautiful as loyalty was, it was not this most rare of traits which secured my family’s place as the rulers of this fair kingdom.

… It was the complete inaction of those who would prefer a change of the status quo!

Indifference and contentment! No matter how many alliances we forged or treaties we signed, our greatest ally would always remain the apathy of the masses! 

It was not threats of arbitrary imprisonment which saw my father sat upon his throne. It was complacency. And also my mother, who insisted he could not see to his subjects while lounging upon the hammock he’d built using twine and grapevines.

My hands gripped against Apple’s reins as I considered his hardship.

To ease Father’s burdens, I as his daughter and a princess of the realm must do what I must! 

Seeing so many peasants revelling in the midst of an ordinary day was unacceptable! Why, I could practically smell the sedition in the air … just as I could the results of dozens of horses standing stock still! 

I pinched my nose. 

Eventually, the source of the idle carriages soon became clear.

The utterly inadequate stables before the gates of the town. 

 

Lwent Family Stables

Open all day and night Closed!

I spent a moment acknowledging the large wooden sign, its words recently amended with the desperate scrawl of a dying stablehand. 

A wholly unsurprising sight. 

The royal capital boasted enough stables to house all its visitors even amidst the heights of the Summer Solstice Festival. But here, even a sprinkling of new traders was as crippling on local infrastructure as our royal processions trundling through a village and several barns.

I narrowed my eyes towards the gaps in the stable walls. Each stall was fully occupied. As were the paddocks, which now housed more horses than there were daisies to nibble upon.

Full to the brim.

There was simply no room. Aside from what I could plainly see, the sizable line of merchants waiting for a spot was testament to that.

Thus, seeing no other choice … I tugged on Apple’s reins and casually rode into the stables.

As Apple trotted past the foremost carriage, disgruntlement came in the form of widened mouths and the aggressive shuffling of backsides. I hardly saw why.

Ohohoho … after all, there was a queue. 

And it was the one permanently behind me.

Scarcely a hoofstep past the entry, I was met by the exasperated expression upon a stablekeeper. Emerging beneath a carpet of sweat and hay, he wildly crossed his arms as he approached. 

An unusual greeting. But I was worldly enough to understand that commoners spoke their own language. And though the grammar of arm waving and chest beatings eluded me, there was always the language of a princess’s smile.

And this was understood by all.

“Salutations,” I said in a pleasant tone reserved for those who housed my horses and smuggled my books. “I’ve come to stable my horse.”

The stablekeeper merely offered me a look of grief. 

With sweat upon his brows and shadows beneath his eyes, he pointed at the busy stables, the closed sign and then the long queue. I ignored them all in that same exact order.

“We’re full,” he said brusquely. 

“Oh my, is that so? I never noticed.” 

“You and the rest of them. We’re chock full. Have been for a good tenday now.” 

“Goodness. How fortunate that business has been so lively for you.”

The stablekeeper grunted. I nodded as I pretended to understand what this meant. 

“Aye, suppose it is. Won’t say a bad word about my good fortune. But I’m afraid there’s no help for you here, miss. All my stalls are full. My paddocks are more than full. And I’ve got these fine folk from all over the kingdom and beyond clamouring for a spot in my stables. Nothing I can do.”

“Oh? And yet I happen to see a vacancy for my horse right there.”

“What? Where?”

“There.”

I pointed at the stables. All of it.

He turned to look at his stalls, before sending a raised brow back towards me.

“Miss, I can assure you that every stall is full.”

“And I can assure you they’re only full until one of its more restless occupants decides to step outside to graze upon the lovely grass beneath this wondrous spring sky.” 

With a smile, I dipped my hand into my bottomless pouch and retrieved a handful of crowns.

Ohhohohohoho! 

Indeed, I knew how this game was played!

Behold! A princess who understood the ways of the world … even if most of it was exclusively through adventure romance books!

Naturally, I wasn’t concerned about a lack of space. Full was a matter of perspective. And I happened to see a considerable number of ways space could be vacated–all beginning with the art of haggling.

Something I was very good at.

Why, even my loyal handmaiden’s carefree smile was suddenly laced with deep uncertainty as her concerns for the stablekeeper’s dignity overwhelmed her!

Yes … the same stablekeeper who merely shook his head! 

“As I said, we’re full.”

I blinked.

And then–I offered my finest smile. 

Not only to lower the price, but in acknowledgement of this stablekeeper’s business acumen. To not even so much as glance at the crowns in my hands was the mark of a true entrepreneur.

Thus–I reached into my pouch once more, before plucking out an additional handful of crowns.

“I see … how unfortunate. Why, if only space were to magically be discovered, it would mean I could add to your burgeoning tax expenses with this accidental overpayment I’ll never realise has occurred.”

I smiled as the stablekeeper finally peered down at the crowns in my hands.

Ohohoho … let the mares within the paddock watch and be awed! 

Whether it be negotiating down the initial fee of 251 gold crowns to 250 gold crowns for my books or swindling trolls for a bottomless pouch which has never once been used in any capacity where a normal pouch couldn’t have sufficed, I was in my element!

Which is why–

“Miss, we’re full. Please don’t bribe me.”

“Oho … ohoho?! This … This isn’t bribery … what a scandalous notion! It’s … It’s merely additional payment for expedited service, discretion, and yes, more discretion.”

The stablekeeper merely stared at me.

“Look, miss, I want to help, but everyone wants help, and I only have as much room as I do.”

“I … I see … my, quite the veteran barterer, aren’t you?”

“What?”

“Indeed, just because you were able to discern the true extent of my wealth, I will acknowledge your keen eye for business. Therefore–” 

I offered the stablekeeper an even finer smile than my previously finest one … before plucking out more crowns than could be reasonably held in my palms.

“Ohohoho … I’m certain with this amount, it’s only natural your currently stabled horses will be drawn to the glint out of pure curiosity, creating a conveniently sized vacancy in the process.”

I smiled in triumph as the stablekeeper stared at me, his awe at my unfaltering generosity highlighted by his utter lack of movement.

Let it not be said that my famed smile was the only gift I gave to my people!

To the most promising entrepreneurs of my kingdom, I was willing to provide a stipend of goodwill! Here was enough crowns for a common stablekeeper to boast at having serviced my horse at every establishment of his choice for as much as two consecutive hours!

Which is why–

“Miss, it doesn’t matter how much you offer me. Everyone has to wait.”

I pursed my lips.

“Excuse me, but when you say everyone …”

“Everyone. Even you. Doesn’t matter how fine you dress or how much you offer. Everyone gets the same treatment as far as I’m concerned. I’m sorry. But it’s only fair.”

I was aghast.

How … How dare this man have principles!!

It was illegal to have morals when I was the one coercing! 

Why, I was a princess! My bribes were more than the pitiful hollering of merchants and nobility! They were subtle threats! Did he not fear for the wellbeing of his younger siblings?! The suspicious tax anomalies my inspectors would suddenly discover in his ledgers?!

“E-Excuse me! To offer the same treatment is to assume we are equal! We are not! Rest assured, my business is considerably more important than whatever oddly coloured socks these merchants wish to claim is a long lost heirloom to be sold!”

“And what business is that?”

I jabbed my finger to the side, towards the direction of the waiting town.

“Pest control.”

The stablekeeper raised his brow. First towards me. Then to the trees surrounding us.

A moment later, his shoulders fell as he allowed a sigh to escape.

“I can’t offer stabling. But if you’ve nowhere else to put your draft horse, then I suggest doing as the traders do. As you say, the grass is good. You can tie yours to the pines just nearby. The branches offer enough shelter. The spring warmth will do the rest.”

I recoiled at the very thought. 

It was unacceptable that other horses would be permitted shelter while my own wasn’t!

Why, I could sense Apple’s indignity as he leaned down to nibble at the grass!

“Absolutely not. Apple has travelled too far to be left to the elements. I insist you reconsider. This is a highly generous offer–not only as funding to replace any part of your stables you’re fortunate enough to see chewed away, but also as an opportunity to assist in my noble quest!”

The stablekeeper’s shoulders sagged even heavier. 

Behind him, the neighs of horses which demanded his care sounded throughout the enclosure of his stables. Eventually, he looked to the side, lines of hesitation upon his face.

“I’d suggest another stables in town, but you’ll find none available. Everywhere’s full. And those that claim not to be aren’t the ones you’ll be wanting to put your draft horse in … but there might be another one just outside that’ll take him.”

I clapped my hands in delight.

Why, such was the guilt which denying my smile could instil, this stablekeeper felt the need to direct me to a rival!

“Excellent. And which enterprise would you recommend I offer my generosity towards?”

“Wouldn’t say it’s an enterprise. But a girl like you, maybe they’ll offer a helping hand. It’s the old Rhent family’s stables, back before those knights bought the place.”

“Knights?”

“Knights, aye. Armour. Horses. Smiles. The lot. Still not sure what they want with that big a place, but I’m told it’s theirs now. Don’t really see them much, other than when they’re keeping the peace inside the town’s bars. You might try asking if they’ll take your horse. I reckon they’d turn away everyone here except you.”

The stablekeeper waited for my response.

One which would come with my sudden frown.

Knights? In Hartzwiese?

Unlikely. Knights followed a precise mathematical formula consisting of the number of screaming maidens divided by the number of rivals they had to contend with. 

Unless called upon to waste time before the fae, as they did south of the Wovencoille, they would never congregate in any great numbers in the countryside. Doing so would tip the scale of maidens to knights to unconscionably low numbers. They might even remember some of their names. 

Certainly, knights would never purchase a stables.

They had their own all across the land, shared amidst their fraternity. And if not, then they had the inns of those who gladly took them for their presence, if not their persistent lack of ways to pay.

No, either knights had been summoned by my family to perform some duty in this region, or they were here for an altogether different purpose.

… And who, I wondered, existed here to summon them other than the treasonous, the low minded and the foolish?

“Thank you,” I said with a pleasant smile. “If you could please point me in the correct direction, I would be most appreciative.”

The stablekeeper nodded, then waved towards the treeline past his paddock.

“Not sure what pests you mean to control, but if you’re here for a good cause, I’m happy to help. As for the old Rhent’s stables, well, it’s not far. You can practically hear the knights from here.”

“I see.”

I returned my coins to my pouch. But not all. 

Instead, I offered out a silver crown. Enough for one crêpe with spring fruits and chocolate drizzle. 

“I don’t need a tip, miss.”

“It’s not a tip.”

“What is it, then?”

“Advance payment. For any incidental damage incurred.”

The stablemaster looked at me in puzzlement. 

Then, he turned to Coppelia as she filled her cheeks with air, before allowing them to pop with an outward burst of her fingers to match.

He paused.

Then, he slowly took the silver crown, hesitating again only when he saw my smile.

I hardly saw why. Mine was the greatest gift of all, second only to my laughter. 

And I was feeling particularly generous today.