I raised my head, wincing as a shaft of sunlight met my eyes.

Amidst the dust and destruction, flaming embers lit up the field like little lighthouses in the fog. Strewn pieces of what had once been a stables lay scattered before me, the many holes in its walls now efficiently a single one upon the ground.

I assessed the size of the crater.

And then … I nodded.

Excellent. Most excellent. 

The latest warning to all the badgers which sought refuge in my land.

Indeed, this is exactly what I wanted! … Including brushing aside bits of charred debris and ash as I rose to my feet. 

Coppelia did the same as she emerged from beneath the picnic table. She gave her fluffy golden hair a shake, before humming at the flaming bits still drifting from the sky.

After a moment, she turned her smile towards me.

“You know–”

“Please don’t say it.”

“I wasn’t going to say anything.”

“Good.”

“But if I was–”

“Coppelia.”

“I’d probably wonder if maybe, juuuuust maybe, if this is our fault.”

I groaned.

T-True … a string of circumstantial evidence did rather suggest we were somehow tangibly involved in all the explosions which occurred in our midst.

However!

Evidence only existed when there were witnesses!

History was written by the survivors, and facts were as pliable as the testimonies of the servants echoing my words that I’d assuredly been studying and not slacking off in my bedroom for the entire day!

“Oho … ohohoho … what are you suggesting, Coppelia? … Why, what are we responsible for, other than rescuing the nearby town of Hartzwiese from a sudden invasion of man eating fire breathing death beetles?”

Coppelia covered her mouth with both hands, drawing forth a feigned gasp worthy of a place in the royal court. 

“Wow, we’re amazing! I can’t believe we stopped a colony of highly rare insects with a long history of avoiding inhabited settlements from suddenly attacking a town!”

I nodded furiously.

“Indeed! The townspeople should be leaping in joy! Were it not for our sudden intervention, the town would be engulfed in flames!”

“Got it!~ We should extort the people for money!”

“What? Don’t be silly. We do not extort the people for money … we seek financial reimbursement for losses suffered.”

Indeed, this was fine!

So long as no eyes other than our own still remained open, who was to deny which truth we spun?

“Uuughh …”

And this included a maid lying on her side, her vision clearly inhibited as she remained covered in a blanket of ash. 

A note of regret exited her lips. Not because she’d been unceremoniously hurled to the ground. But because Apple was prodding at her with his nose. Her still body shifted slightly, allowing my noble steed to begin nibbling on the unscathed patch of daisies found beneath her.

Grief overcame me as I viewed the state of his mane. It was already as dishevelled as a bale of hay caught in a storm. But now, he needed a river almost as much as the louts who’d fled.

“Soooo … what do we do about the maid?” asked Coppelia, leaning over said maid without actively helping her. “Draw whiskers on her face while she’s confused and disoriented?”

“Well, I suppose that depends.”

“On who wins the rock, paper, scissors to draw the whiskers?”

“No.” I looked over the maid’s figure, assessing she was, indeed, probably alive. “On whether or not this maid is responsible for the damage my kingdom’s just incurred. If she is, then the whiskers will be on her forehead.”

“Now that’s just mean~”

“Very well. Then allow me to display my angelic side first.”

Thus … I leaned down, before vigorously prodding the maid’s cheek with my healing touch.

A few seconds later–

“Uuuuh …”

She stirred, before slowly rolling onto her back. A pair of familiar eyes opened before me, bleary, tired and exceptionally embarrassed.

“Good afternoon,” said Lady Renise, before raising a hand to her head. She felt around to ensure it was attached to her neck. “Oh … I think I’m okay.”

“Wonderful. Then I can proceed straight towards guarded puzzlement. I must admit, Lady Renise, I wasn’t at all expecting to see you anywhere other than perhaps a cell shared with your father. The last I saw of you, you were in your hall. And as Coppelia tells me, the Crown Prince was soon to arrive.”

“It is true. Crown Prince Roland and much of the garrison had come for the same reason you had. To do away with Lady Lucina Tolent and her vile plots. It was quite the sight he came upon.”

She paused as a memory of that eventful night clearly came upon her. Memories flickered across her face, rekindled by my presence as I stood over her. 

Joy and sorrow, relief and anger, fatigue and … something which made her glance tellingly away.

I immediately pointed at her nose.

“You. Just now–you … you remembered something, didn’t you?” 

The noblewoman in a maid’s guise blinked.

Then, she shook her head.

“Not at all. I was only recalling the sight of Lady Lucina’s schemes undone, and the mass of her followers suffering extensively as a result.”

“I … I see … well, that is good … though out of curiosity, do you happen to recall the sight of anybody else suffering that night as well … ?”

“No, all I saw was your bravery. You exuded an image of elegance as you dispensed with my carpets and everything upon them. So focused was I on your accomplishments, that I failed to watch how you conducted yourself in the immediate seconds afterwards.”

She paused, then thought for a moment.

“To clarify, I didn’t see you vom–”

“O-Oho?! Ohohoo … my … my goodness!! Lady Renise, are you unharmed?! Why, the roof of the stables almost threatened to remove your head! To think our meeting again was at threat of being so shortened!!”

The noblewoman who I’d always held in the highest regard offered a pained smile.

And crucially, no more.

Why, if only all of them could demonstrate such tact!

If even a fraction of my nobility possessed the social graces to feign ignorance instead of immediately seeking financial favours from me for their silence, I’d be inclined to reduce my mocking of them by as much as a single insult per year!

“Yes, I believe I’m unharmed. Thank you, Miss Juliette. And to you as well, Miss Coppelia. I do appreciate you attempting to keep the horse from nudging me.”

Coppelia gave a thumbs up, all the while clearly fighting for the right to the unspoiled daisies with Apple. 

Neither were winning.

I furrowed my brows at them both. And then directed it towards the noblewoman, who as far as I knew, should not be laying upon grass, but a stone floor.

“Lady Renise, for what purpose are you here? While your truthful account of what occurred in your estate is much appreciated, I must question why you’re not currently in the midst of a sentencing by Crown Prince Roland. Even merciful as he is, I don’t believe any judgement he’d render would involve allowing you to wander the outskirts of Hartzwiese.”

The young woman gave a fatigued smile in response.

“You’re correct. Although he is certainly merciful, he is also not so lenient that he’d absolve me of my complicity with the Smugglers Guild on a whim.” 

“I see. Did you come to escape captivity, then?”

“Not at all. I actually came here on the Crown Prince’s behalf. On Rose House’s behalf.”

“Excuse me?”

The young woman looked up to gather her thoughts, even if it was only to see Apple and Coppelia shooing each other away.

“Rose House. The Crown Prince founded it following the events in Reitzlake. Although strange to admit this openly, it is a clandestine organisation formally owned and formally denied by him, tasked with safeguarding the kingdom’s interests. To that end, its members include those like me, as well as many who previously worked for the Smugglers Guild and the Thieves Guild.”

She hesitated before continuing.

“He has … well, he has assigned me as its interim leader.”

My mouth widened at all that I’d heard.

What … What was this? 

“A clandestine organisation … of criminals? And you say you’re leading them?”

“It’s not all criminals,” came a very half-hearted response. “We have Bloody Nailed Mary.”

“Bloody Nailed Mary is not a criminal?!”

“No. She just likes painting her nails. She inventories our stock. She’s very nice.”

Slowly, I remembered to cover my mouth over this entire disclosure. But that did nothing for my incoming bout of anaemia as all the blood drained from my face.

“Why … Why would Roland do this?!”

“The Crown Prince recognises talent. And also pragmatism. It is better to use those who could aid the kingdom, than to see them pushed away. Especially in a rare time when both the Smugglers Guild and the Thieves Guild have been felled. This calm will not last forever. When the next contenders for Reitzlake’s sewers emerge, they will gather all those without a home.”

“And why would those without a home seek refuge in the arms of the kingdom they have worked their lives to undermine?”

The noblewoman gave a small shrug of her shoulders, even as she lay upon the ground.

“Some for a pardon. Some in earnest. Most for the crowns.”

“Opportunists without loyalty, then. They will leave the moment their peek into lawfulness is humoured.”

“Many will. But some won’t. It’s difficult for those who have only plied their trade in the sewers to garner livelihoods with so many turning away both their eyes and their noses. And yet the Crown Prince views that stench no differently to any of those around him.”

“Yes, well, that much is no mystery. He spends his time with the most highborn of nobility. As the Crown Prince, the difference between lords and criminals is as indiscernible as two separate ants.”

Lady Renise parted her lips as though to offer a retort.

After a moment, she nodded instead.

A lady with self-awareness. 

My, she truly was unique. 

And were I not utterly shocked by the revelation that Roland had opted to found this … Rose House, I would be sending my shock towards her instead.

Indeed, I could scarcely believe it!

My brother was always unorthodox in his methods. As the Crown Prince, he was faced with threats which only his wit and ingenuity could triumph over!

But to found a covert organisation of swindlers, thieves and louts?!

This … This was more than unorthodox! It was to use a napkin at the dinner table instead of only pretending to dab with it! It was scandalous!

To think he’d put the defence of the kingdom in the hands of convicted criminals! Those who had previously sought to subvert it with both their knives and their leering smiles!

That … That was … That was simply …

Marvellous.

I clapped my hands in delight.

Rose House! Why … that was a marvellous name! 

Were word of this highly dubious organisation to spread, then rumours would naturally attribute whatever its shady dealings were with my own name!

The rumours, the gossip … the fear!

As expected of my thoughtful brother! My tea table would be barren! No more would my afternoons be desecrated by the simpering smiles of illicit daughters seeking power in my presence! I would be greeted with hushed whispers and expressions of horror instead!

Ohhohohohohohoho!

“I … I see … that is quite the revelation, Lady Renise.”

“As it was to me when the matter was first proposed. However, I should note that I am no longer titled nobility. House Rimeaux was annulled. I am now less than a common girl, one stripped of all rights to wealth, freedom or privileges.”

I immediately leaned towards her, narrowing my eyes as I did so.

“Stripped of nobility, perhaps. But you are certainly no common girl. Even when hurled to the ground, you have maintained the state of your uniform. That is no common feat.”

“Thank you. I was taught by my mother regarding how to fall over gracefully. Although I dare say that I do not do it half as well as you do.”

“Hmm?” I leaned down even lower, my smile fixed as my nose almost met hers. “Are you referring to some forgotten event where I fell over, Miss Renise? For what reason would I have done such a strange and unfathomable thing? Certainly not while you were watching something you already claimed not to have seen, no?”

The young woman swallowed a slight gulp.

“I’m sorry. I am currently confused and disoriented.”

“Excellent.” I clapped my hands as I allowed my shadow over her to pass. “Then please enlighten me. What brings you and your … nascent organisation of misfits to Hartzwiese?”

The former noblewoman rose to her feet, then gathered herself with a swift tidying of her uniform. Despite the colourful design, her expression was nothing if not serious.

She gave a nod.

“I’m here to investigate a matter concerning a local baroness.”

“A local baroness?”

“There’s been a significant amount of mercantile activity from her estate, far beyond her means or status, including land purchases and market manipulation. But what is most concerning is the flagrant nature of it. She’s done very little to hide her recent movements as of late.”

I pursed my lips as a name came to mind. 

A name which I most certainly hadn’t forgotten already.

“By any chance, are you referring to …”

“Baroness Arisa Sandholt.”

I nodded at once.

That name … still meant absolutely nothing to me!

Not a single blot of remembrance! The ladybug which landed on my portrait of Grandmother’s nose made a larger impression than whoever this baroness was. But that was only to be expected. I didn’t remember insects. Not unless they flattened themselves for me.

Frankly, I was relieved. The moment I started remembering the names of lesser nobility was when I needed to start allowing my tutors’ books to land on my head.

Even so–

That this baroness managed to garner not only my attention, but my brother’s was the grandest achievement any could achieve.

Her productivity was worth some acknowledgement.

Foreign generals, landless knights and woodland hags. Quite the list of contacts for such a low member of the aristocracy to bargain with. And quite the list which would have their promises and favours from her go unpaid.

“Then you may put your fears to rest,” I said, placing my hand atop my chest. “What you see as a matter of concern is what I see as a child run amok. I shall re-educate her with the calming motion of perpetual physical repetition, as was my intent.”

Miss Renise’s face lit with joy … and concern … but mostly joy!

“Excuse me? Do you mean to say that you also came to Hartzwiese to investigate her?”

“Well, I’m certain the investigation part would be conducted at some point … but yes. An unfortunate girl to have caught my attention. Had she shown more restraint, perhaps she would have been allowed to run wild for another day before Crown Prince Roland reined her in himself.”

“I see … I suppose it’s no uncommon thing for an adventurer to be where they’re needed most.”

I winced at her words. Little did this former noblewoman know, they were more cutting than any weapon she possessed. Weapons which included the bizarre knives strapped to her leg.

Hmmmm.

Although I would never second guess my brother, I certainly hoped Roland knew what he was doing. If his very first act after founding his own shadowy organisation was to hire a maid assassin, then that dangerously ran the risk of him seeming ordinary.

“This Sandholt girl,” I said, elegantly pushing any talk about adventuring aside. “Do you know where I can find her?”

“I believe so. I was speaking with her very recently. Until I needed to make an escape.”

Renise twisted around to peer at the crater in the ground.

She had the good graces to look slightly sheepish when she offered her next smile.

“There’s, um, a more scenic route available. Should I show … ?”

I raised a brow as I studied the young woman.

The daughter of a man proclaimed to be the Smuggler King, and yet there was little to suggest she had ever so much as smuggled a cheesecake into her bedroom. Even armed with knives at her leg, she seemed more likely to use them as apple peelers than weapons.

Still … as fragile and prone to collapsing in awkward positions as she was, she’d been selected by Roland to lead his delightfully named organisation. A high honour.

One which I hoped this former noblewoman could rise to just as well as she did the ground.

Whatever she was before, she was now under the auspices of my brother. And also my family.

I nodded, deciding what needed to be said.

“Miss Renise, before I accompany you, there is something I should explain.”

“Oh? What is it?” 

“You would have doubtless sensed this already. But I am more than an adventurer. In fact, being an adventurer is the absolute lowest thing I am. It is no exaggeration to say that describing myself as a vessel of flesh and blood is more appropriate than referring to myself as an adventurer.”

“I … I see … ?”

“But at the top of that list is something else.”

Providing a regal smile fit for the ruby embroidered dress still being made for me, I tidily clasped my hands together and smiled. 

“You see, Crown Prince Roland is to you the sponsor of your new life. But to me, he is family. He is my eldest brother. I am Princess Juliette Contzen, and I am the 3rd Princess to the Kingdom of Tirea. No, please … you need not be alarmed at my masterful disguise. It is necessary to avoid the knights my parents have sent to catch me. I share this with you in confidence, knowing that my brother is never wrong in his assessment of his subjects. I hope you shall do us both, and this kingdom, a great service.”

Renise blinked at me.

Then, she glanced at Coppelia, who sought to sooth her shock with an enthusiastic nod.

A shock so intense she was unable to properly convey any expression of shock.

At last, she lightly clapped her hands together and smiled. 

“Oh … Oh my, a princess! I … I had no idea!”