As a princess, I held a monopoly on all things beautiful. 

Yet occasionally, even I witnessed something which drew my eye. Not very often. But those times it did, it ensured that even my loyal steed … absolutely didn’t pause or slow down. 

Apple kept trotting at the same relentlessly lackadaisical pace he always did. 

But if he was a normal horse, he would have checked his pace.

Indeed, my kingdom was truly dazzling beneath the warmth of springtime.

All around me, a tranquil view as gentle as my heart deferred to my coming. Enough that upon this northern road, I finally permitted myself to relax.

I had little doubt that upheaval awaited me at the Loerstadt Gate. Whether it was the merchants evading the eyes of our hardworking tax officers or the perilous news of armed hostility, our border with the Grand Duchy of Granholtz was always an uneasy affair. If it wasn’t, I wouldn’t be there. I’d be doing other things. Important things. Things so varied I couldn’t name a single one.

But until the fateful moment I arrived at our border?

Why, I was grateful for this small measure of respite.

A moment of calm disturbed only by the sounds of Apple’s trotting … and also his snorting as Coppelia blew dandelions past his nose.

I frowned at her to stop.

She did. Eventually.

Then, I sat back and smiled, allowing Apple’s trotting to gradually bear me through a painting more delicate than even I could paint myself.

The sight of a gentle stream bordered by swaying grass, sipped upon by a family of hares, a pair of courting swans, and a plagued venus spore, fresh blood dribbling down its blossoming jaws as it cleansed itself of the giant toad which still lay impaled by its fangs.

The sounds of a vibrant forest, its orchestra of rustling leaves competing only with the lullaby of young songbirds, the occasional humming by Coppelia, and the death throes of dire wolves as they succumbed to the diseased treants strangling them with their rotting roots and thorned bark.

The scent of freshly bloomed pink campions and white wildflowers, their pollen carried by the dutiful honey bees even as their hives were gorged upon by the assassin vines crawling upon them like blighted moss.

I peered slightly closer.

Ah, and there were even mantrap plants growing at the base of the tree. Leafy tongues stretched out to lap at the nectar bleeding from the honey bee hive. 

What an interesting sight.

Yes.

This was fine.

There was nothing wrong with this picture of my kingdom. No matter where I looked, peace and harmony prevailed! 

And yet …

Even if this was perfectly fine, I was a princess. And I had impeccable standards. 

Enough that even if the smallest blemish was to reveal itself, my trained eyes could spot it just like the nearby bodytaker plant spotted a giant fire beetle, seizing it with its vine-like arms and then promptly exploding.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

“Coppelia?”

“Mmh?”

I glanced around once more.

“I’m not certain if you’ve noticed, but nature appears to be remarkably … enthusiastic today.” 

“Oh, that?” Coppelia casually stretched. “Yep. I noticed.”

“Excellent. I see you’re also blessed with keen perception.”

“Sure am. I was actually wondering if you noticed, too. You know, all these plant monsters. It was a bit worrying. And by a bit I mean loads. You normally say something when even a single fruit slime pops up.”

“No, I noticed. Quite early, in fact. I was just waiting for my overactive imagination to calm itself. After all, my kingdom is renowned for its gentle hills and verdant fields. Not for its jungles of death.”

“Mmh~I’m pretty sure our bag of pastries is in danger. That’s why I’m trying to get the horse to move faster.”

“You are?”

I felt a rush of warmth towards my loyal handmaiden.

To think Coppelia was so concerned about ensuring there were enough provisions for me to survive this journey! As ever, I owed her my gratitude.

“I mean, it’s not like I like wasting good dandelions. They’re tasty. I’m blowing them at the horse so he gets annoyed and hurries up.”

“I see ... I didn’t know. I apologise for stopping you. A princess should never interfere in her handmaiden’s attempts to ensure her wellbeing.”

Coppelia blinked at me, then at the bag filled with the cinnamon rolls we’d saved til last.

“Yes. That’s what I was doing.”

I smiled, acknowledging Coppelia’s dedication to my cause before I turned to the issue at hand. One of many bloodthirsty ones.

Clearing my throat, I noted my surroundings, and then calmly proceeded to ask the most pertinent question available.

“... Why are there so many plant monsters in my kingdom?!”

It was awful!

My kingdom, my beautiful homeland, awash with rare orchids and blue roses … and now they’d become a menagerie of horrors!

Yes, every land had its share of bloodcurdling monstrosities! I’d long consigned myself to the nobility which roamed my kingdom! 

But this?!

Wasn’t this simply too much?!

“We’re still traversing the road! This isn’t the forest depths where dumb adventurers go to become skeletal loot for the next adventurers to follow! We should be met with fruit slimes and wolf pups! Not … what is that?!”

Coppelia narrowed her eyes, her hand raised to her brows.

“I think it’s a malignant blood fiend.”

“Are they not primordial demons from the bottom of the abyss?!”

“Yep, hang on … nope, that’s a vined mimic. I see something sparkly. A magic mirage. They use their leaves to take on pretty much any shape.”

“Oh. Well, that’s better, at least.”

“Mmh~ mimics will only eat you slowly. You get to contemplate where you went wrong in life. Actual blood fiends wouldn’t give you the courtesy.”

“Then a mimic needs to meet with whoever is responsible for this travesty! Surely, this cannot be natural?”

“Probably not. Plant monsters don’t congregate like this. They’re just bigger plants, after all. And that means they need their space to grow. Good for us, though! With so much rampant territorial fighting, they’re not bothering with us. I bet it’s because of the horse.”

“Apple?”

“Monsters have their own instincts. A horse who willingly walks through a place smelling like monster central has to be secretly terrifying.”

Coppelia gave a small giggle at Apple’s expense. 

He reacted as he always did. By trotting relentlessly forwards, as concerned with the monsters feasting upon each other as he was with any attempt to instil a sense of urgency in his movements.

Further acknowledgement needed to be given.

He was slow, yes. But slow was better than backwards, which was surely where every other steed would be moving–including those belonging to the many traders who used this busy stretch of road, waiting to be taxed at the nearby bridge tolls.

I could practically see the Royal Treasury’s coffers emptying around me!

“A buffet of leafy violence. And one sure to result in great hardship for my bottom line. Whatever this is, we must put a swift stop to it!”

“Mmh, I agree.” Coppelia placed her hands over her ears. “Okay! I’m ready for the [Ball Of Doom]!”

I offered her the look of horror she deserved.

Each time she referred to my delicate gardening technique with that highly inappropriate name, I responded with greater amounts of gall. Especially with what she was inferring I do against my beloved forests.

… And yet, I couldn’t allow errant plants to delay my arrival to the Loerstadt Gate!

A problem. Even as a prodigious gardener, this was a quantity beyond a swift trim with my sword.

However–

Just as I began to reconcile my need for haste versus my need to see my forests still standing, something as strange as the plant monsters caught my eye.

“Coppelia … is there something unusual with the stream?”

“Boooooooooooooooo, you noticed~”

“Coppelia!! My [Spring Breeze] is not the first step to doing away with all gardening related issues … it’s the second step at most!”

My loyal, if mischievous handmaiden leaned slightly towards the river, eyes wide as she studied the darkened surface.

It was as dull as an unpolished mirror. Despite the warmth of the afternoon, the clarity of the sky and the radiance of my person, the stream which ran adjacent to the road failed to sparkle.

“There’s definitely something wrong about it. It smells pretty much exactly like the plant monsters.”

I frowned in thought.

“Has it been poisoned? Flushed with some alchemical brew? Have the very waters of my kingdom now become the playground for some vile and wretched scheme?”

“No idea … but I’m guessing we can ask the locals!”

Putting her clockwork vision to use, Coppelia pointed at a rocky hilltop peeking over the horizon. 

It wasn’t until the stream disappeared amidst a thicket of reeds that I realised exactly what she was drawing my attention towards.

It was where the stream began. 

Beyond the reeds, water poured forth from a small opening at the base of the rocks like sewage through a cistern gate. 

Because here, it didn’t just fail to sparkle. 

It was utterly black, its consistency the same as the bouillabaisse à l'encre de seiche days after I’d tossed it beneath the table. 

And yet even so, it still wasn’t as dark as the entrance of the cavern appearing before us.

I tugged Apple to a halt.

Amidst the natural greenery joined by the horrors of nature, this cavern raised its hand to volunteer as one of the bleakest features. Its entrance opened like a cavity within the hillside. 

And before it, the only signs of life which existed were also signs of death.

“The grass has been scorched,” I said, wrinkling my nose at the ceaseless damage to my kingdom. “Yet more needless destruction. Was mage fire tossed here?”

Coppelia hummed as she peered down at the blackened earth.

“I think it was a cooking fire, actually.”

“A cooking fire?”

“Yup! You can see lines of ash where the wood was burned, shaped like a roasting pit.”

I looked down at the size of the blackened ground, as appalled as I was confused.

“What was being cooked? A mammoth?”

“Probably not. They don’t smell as crispy as this. I’m getting hints of charred … mmh, maneater plant with a smoked tartar sauce!”

“You cannot be serious.”

“Well, it might be roasted bodytaker plant. Whichever it is, I’m pretty sure there’s leftovers inside there as well.”

Coppelia cheerfully pointed into the black cavern.

I was incensed.

Why, to have no insight regarding fire safety, cooking times or appropriate condiments to be used with plant based dishes was one thing, but to use the innocent caves of my kingdom to store the atrocities created was quite another!

I groaned, not at all relishing the thought of instructing whatever hermits squatted within about not burning down my forests while also disgracing the culinary world.

The language barrier was too severe. It was easier conversing with trolls.

Bwoom. Bwoom. Bwoom.

And probably their bigger cousins, too.

My mouth further widened beneath my palm as a rather large silhouette emerged from the depths of the cavern, each footstep causing me to cling onto Apple’s reins as he bent his neck down to nibble at an unscorched patch of grass.

A shadow as black as the stream fell over me, only partly being cast by the tree trunk slung upon a shoulder as easily as a club. 

And yet I could scarcely notice it against the wrinkled forehead, the unnaturally beady eyes and the odour now carried from the depths of what was apparently a very well ventilated abode.

Of course.

Every cave needed an inhabitant.

Why not a hill giant?