As Starlight Grace left my side, its dazzling light fell upon a familiar pair of turquoise eyes.

After all, as familiar as those eyes were, it took more than the mimicking of mere appearances to send me astray, especially when it came to knowing the members of my own retinue. 

As a princess, I peered past the surface, discerning aspects of their very worth which no magic could mirror. Consequently, being assigned to my personal service remained one of the most exclusive positions even within the Royal Villa. 

Current staffing levels: 1.

Ohohoho! 

Indeed, with an acceptance (and application) rate of 0%, only Coppelia had passed the rigorous examinations required to be selected as my loyal handmaiden! 

As a result, I knew more than simply her worth.

Why, I also knew her eating habits.

And just in case I didn’t–

“Omnomnomnonmnomnom~”

A sound as inevitable as crickets in the night filled the air. 

Surrounded by fields of giant vegetation, it was inconceivable that she was still behind me.

Of course, that Coppelia could now be reliably predicted to leave my side was somewhat of an issue … but at the same time, it was a masterful means to entrap those who sought to use her absence to my detriment! 

“A bold thing to wear the guise of my own loyal, if absent handmaiden,” I said to the nymph. “To strike me in such a manner is not only cowardly, but hopelessly optimistic. For while others may boast a sixth sense to danger, I possess a seventh sense just for betrayal from behind.”

Thus, I raised an eyebrow, as unimpressed with the nymph’s magic as I was with her ploy.

“And yet I thank you all the same. To greet me in any manner is preferable to the loss of my time as I sought you out amongst this garden … no, farm of overgrown crops. But before I permit you to plead your case, I suggest you dispense with the illusion. I have enough sights to erase from my mind without the image of sending my own loyal handmaiden to the horizon as one of them.”

The nymph eyed me without response. I prepared myself to eject another memory as I raised my sword.

And then–

The magic shattered.

Broken as much by my unremitting gaze as the gleam from Starlight Grace, the illusion which surrounded the nymph collapsed in a display of utter unsightliness.

Her face twisted like melting candle wax. 

A somewhat horrific image given that Coppelia’s nose was still present. But this was hardly my first time witnessing a maiden’s face melting before me. 

Even now, I could recall the sudden cancellation of my last mandatory tea party as a guest sneezed in the midst of a curtsy. There were precious few ways to impress me. And while neither the wealth nor status of that particular daughter was cause for note, the fact she could send a barrel of snot crashing through the scone pile was a rare moment of delight amidst memories of tedium. 

The nymph’s face melted in much the same manner, eyes hollowing and cheeks drooping, weighed down by a gallon of sweat and embarrassment. 

Except that unlike the daughters of nobility, what awaited beneath the powder wasn’t a snivelling mess of apologies.

Eyes as wide as the spring sky. Skin so dazzling it reflected the sunlight. Flowing hair of pale blue fluttering flamboyantly even against the thin breeze. And a dress of pale leaves glittering with jewels of dewdrops.

A maiden as alluring as any fairytale would suggest.

Her true form revealed, the nymph pinched her cheeks to do away with any of the melting wax not to have been smoothed over. What remained were the sharp and elegant features of a young elven woman, bearing prideful eyes tempered by years of knowledge. 

She stood unmoving like a reed in the wind as she carefully studied the sword in my hand, her muted expression as unbending as her posture.

And then–

She proceeded to drop to her knees, slamming her forehead down onto the ground.

“I-I-I-I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I wasn’t doing anything, I swear! I was just curious since nobody ever visits me because I’m in the middle of nowhere and now even the squirrels have stopped pity seeing me! Please don’t stab me, eat me or use me as a quest reward! I swear I’m really low quality! You won’t get any money from turning my hair in! I have really bad bed hair and it’ll leave strands wherever you go!”

I retreated a step, shocked by the scale of the sudden bawling.

It was an absolutely disgraceful display of kowtowing.

Casting her dignity to the wind, this proud woodland nymph threw aside all semblance of poise as she dug a small hole into the dirt using only her burrowing forehead.

Seeing it, all I could do was react with horror.

Why, I could scarcely believe it.

… Somehow, it had taken this long for an appropriate reaction to my presence!

That meant … there was no time to waste!!

Swiftly setting my unparalleled experience to work, I immediately stole a few steps to the side, then stood at full height, purposefully reaching up on my tip-toes as I positioned myself at the optimal angle before the sun in order to cast the full length of my shadow down upon the grovelling nymph.

Adopting this regal posture, I raised my hand to my lips and smiled.

“... Ohoho … ohoho … ohohohoho!! …”

Indeed!

For being the first to have reacted appropriately to my royal status, I would offer the full service! 

That this nymph had the social nuance to immediately throw herself down before me was a joy as rare as a theatre performance without a single apple launched from my balcony!  

My, how long had it been since such adherence to decorum was seen? 

Amongst the many strifes I endured over the course of my noble quest, the utter void of etiquette had always hung heaviest upon my fair and delicate shoulders.

And so, to see a morsel of propriety finally displayed … why, it was as though an angel was lifting aside my every burden … ! 

“O-Ohohoho!” My hand trembled with joy as I smiled down upon the nymph’s scalp. “V-Very well! I’ve heard your plea and am willing to consider reviewing the overly harsh sentence I’d thought to impose!”

“Thank you! I really mean it! You wouldn’t earn anything from turning me in! I’d be what you toss away at the end of the day just to make room for something more valuable!”

“I hope not, considering my bottomless pouch has yet to be tested. Now explain. For what reason do you skulk in the guise of my own handmaiden like some assassin in the night?”

The nymph raised her head. An unsightly red blotch met me where her forehead was.

I nodded in approval.

“Um, well, it’s nothing, really … I just wanted to peek at you. And maybe have a conversation. I never have conversations anymore. But I was worried you’d run away if I showed myself. I don’t get a lot of visitors. Other than the squirrels. And like I said, even they’ve stopped visiting. I even leave food out and everything. But there’s nothing for them to do here. It’s the middle of nowhere, after all.”

I nodded even more, generosity flowing through my veins.

A nymph shorn of contact was surely like a magpie stripped of trinkets. Wishing to gaze upon me was only understandable. 

True, the use of subterfuge was highly inappropriate. But I acknowledged the attempt at discretion all the same. 

Certainly more so than the blundering of the nobility as they passed several rows of reserved tables just to be shooed away by me.

Indeed … a drop of my charity was in order.

“Very well. I have heard your plight and shall now offer a portion of my boundless wisdom. Move somewhere else.”

“Um, well, there isn’t really anywhere else I can go. Everywhere is taken by someone else. I was actually due a spot closer to the road. A nice cave a family of owlkin used to live in, but someone else took it instead.” 

I blinked.

I … I absolutely hadn’t forgotten about the hill giant, the stream, or the entire reason I was here.

“Do you refer to the hill giant squatting in the cave by the stream?”

The nymph half-rose from her grovelling posture. I raised an eyebrow and she corrected herself. 

“Oh! Did you meet him?”

“I did. He alludes to your responsibility for the state of the local area.”

“Really? About what?”

“About the jungle of hideous plant monsters terrorising the road. The ones who now make their way into the squatter’s cauldron to deface even the most experimental of haute cuisine.”

Suddenly, the nymph returned her forehead to the ground.

“Oh. That might be my fault.”

I frowned.

“An act of sabotage?”

“Huh? No, not at all! I mean, it’s a nice cave and all, close to the road and very cozy … but it’s still a cave. Not that there’s anything wrong with caves! I’m just not really a cave person. I think.”

I rolled my hands, motioning for her to continue while I ignored half her words.

“Um, well, I only wanted to meet him. He’s the first new neighbour I’ve had in years. I tried giving him pineapples. I still do, but he tries whacking me away with his tree. And then I saw him using that stream which really wasn’t that clean after what the owlkins used it for, so I fixed that, and while I was there I cast a <Tralalina Super Deliciousness Spell☆> to make the stream more nourishing too.”

The nymph peeked up.

“Well, it worked! … Now the plagued venus spores which grow from it are also very nutritious, too. Probably.”

I processed very little of what she said. 

It was still more than I needed to know.

“Excellent. You attempted something which resulted in considerable disorder. It needs to be fixed.”

“Oh, I think so too! I’ve been getting a lot of dark looks from the normal plants. But fixing the stream means hopping into the cave. And since I have a tree swinging at me whenever I do, it’s slightly awkward.”

“Then you may rejoice. Yet again, I’ve single handedly done all the work by directing the hill giant into the direction of Granholtz.”

“Granholtz?”

“Yes. A place with enough peasants that even a hill giant might struggle to inconvenience them all. If he has a shred of wisdom remaining to him, he’ll already have his cauldron slung upon his back. You may shortly return to fix the …”

“<Tralalina Super Deliciousness Spell☆>.”

“I’m not repeating that. But yes. Please fix it.”

“No problem! I can do that!” 

The nymph nodded as she beamed.

A moment later, she twiddled her thumbs.

And then a moment after that, her face soured with a glum expression. 

It was like watching a rainbow going backwards.

“... I mean, it’s a shame if he’s going as well. Less swinging trees, sure! But still a shame. I really think the next pineapple will get through to him. At least more than the bears. I’m pretty sure I saw them sizing the place up. They’ll probably take it after he’s gone. And they’re not really good at conversations either.”

I pursed my lips. 

Taxing hill giants was one thing. But taxing bears was quite another.

It didn’t mean I wouldn’t do it.

The peculiar nymph hummed, her eyes taking in the horizon over her forest of asparagus stalks.

“Maybe I should go to Granholtz as well?” she said. “I thought about it, actually. Pretending to be a human in a city. I have a cousin who does that. She’s weird. But at the same time, I don’t want to leave here. It’s nice. Just a bit empty. Especially with the squirrels gone. All I have left are my pineapples. And I’d feel bad about leaving them behind.” 

She gave a nervous laugh, then fidgeted with the ends of her pale blue hair while still expertly grovelling upon her knees.

A deeply pitiful sight. 

And were I a lesser princess, I’d opt to treat such an unseemly display with a show of solace. And perhaps allow her to rise from the worst of the dirt.

Instead, I prepared to offer someone reduced to spending time with pineapples something far more magnanimous. Especially one who saw fit to earn a spot in my book of good graces.

That’s right … a morsel of my unparalleled ability to exploit those whose talents could better serve my kingdom!

Thus–I smiled.

“Ohohoho … a wonderfully wasteful idea, particularly for one of your skill set.”

The nymph blinked at me.

“Huh?”

“Allow me to propose an alternative instead. Why, I believe it’s high time you meet your neighbours. And more importantly, that they meet you as well.” 

Suddenly, the nymph offered a smile full of uncertainty.

A truly lovely thing. Especially since the smile of a nymph would come in useful for regenerating this land at no expense to either myself or my kingdom. 

After all, those who paid no taxes also needed to be paid no recompense.