"A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are."
― Unknown
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She wakes up slowly, feeling comfortable and warm in a way she only ever does when she's at home. But she's not at home—the air is too fresh, the noises from outside too loud. On top of that, she is clearly snuggling someone significantly bigger than any of the brats, or even Genma-
She opens her eyes slowly and looks around, as much as she could. Her face is mushed into a blue-skinned shoulder as she clings to Kisame under the blanket, relaxed in a way no shinobi should ever allow themselves to be. But then again, so is he, still asleep, cuddling her as if she were some human-shaped pillow, and she could sense some of the spiders she had summoned yesterday, still on the lookout.
Ren isn't the type to leave herself defenseless, even if she is feeling completely safe at the moment. It's a ninja world, and that safety could be threatened at any moment after all.
She sighs and taps Kisame on the shoulder to wake him up. He grumbles, initially, burying his face in her hair, but then groggily opens his eyes.
One of the Seven Great Swordsmen of the Mist, a ruthless murderer—and yet, such a cuddle-bug.
"C'mon, Blue, it's morning, and I still have to talk to the spiders," she tells him, and he grumbles something into her hair that sounds suspiciously like 'five more minutes'. It's barely dawn and they had sat by the fire well into the night, with Ren relaying an extremely shortened summary of the events of Naruto that she remembers from the top of her head—which, to her surprise, were quite a lot—and maybe had four hours of shut-eye. But Kisame has to go back before Itachi throws a bigger fit than planned, and Ren has a plan on how to deal with the ROOT issue that aligns nicely with her other plans.
Step One: Bother spiders into giving in and agreeing to teach her the Sage mode, at last.
Step Two: Tell the Hokage that she's going to be gone for a month or two in Spiderland training. (Also try to weasel out the info on their secret benefactor.)
Step Three: Send the sealed corpse to the Hokage right before leaving. (Also, leave kids at Genma's.)
Step Four: Wait out the shitstorm while gaining new superpowers. Danzō will not touch the kids, Hokage is keeping too close of an eye on them.
Step Five: Return, hopefully not to an army of brainwashed murder children on her doorstep just waiting for her because she pissed Danzō off more than she normally did just by existing.
Step Six: Profit?
The plan is something Kisame helped her come up with, actually—because her retelling turned into an angry rant about Danzō halfway through, as she had resigned to herself it would. She just really hates that guy, okay? On the other hand, Kisame is slightly miffed that there is someone she genuinely loathes so much more than she does Itachi.
"C'mon, Blue, I know I'm very comfy to cuddle but we gotta get up."
"Mmh… Noooooo-"
"I don't want to get up either, but we gotta."
"Two more hours."
"Do you really want to deal with sulky Itachi?"
"We agreed I'm going to tell him I went out to find someone to fuck," he grumbles. "So honestly, I don't care, I just want to sleep more. Especially after- whatever that was, yesterday."
"Me recollecting the possible future of this world I saw while in another one as a different person before my death?" Ren asks cheekily, and Kisame scoffs.
"This sounds weirder every time you put it into words."
"I know. It's a talent," she snorts into his shirt. "But you gotta go, and I gotta go, so get up, Blue."
"Noooooo," he latches onto her like a squid, and Ren, despite having grown since the last time they'd seen each other, is still engulfed by the hug. "I hardly ever cuddle, and it's nice. Let me sleep."
Ren huffs, and then digs her fingers into his ribs, mindful of his gills (since, as she learned, he has them on his neck and his sides).
"Fuck!" he yelps at the sudden tickle and sits up, avoiding falling from the hammock only thanks to chakra and shinobi-trained reflexes. "That was a low blow."
"No, I'm pretty sure it was above-belt," Ren says cheekily, and gets shoved for her efforts. She starts chuckling anyway, and Kisame sighs, much more awake than he had been a minute ago, or more than he'd want to be to begin with. "C'mon, we gotta go."
"Can't you just abandon your village and come with me or something," Kisame grumbles, pawing at his eyes.
"I would, but I'd have to grab all the kids, Hana, and Genma, and, honestly, if I started counting I'd probably have enough people to make my own village before long."
"But you wouldn't miss the village itself?"
"What? Me? Miss the village? Never! It sucks. The Hokage sucks. Danzō sucks. Everything sucks. Nobody knows what the fuck they're doing, and let's just say that I don't give a fuck before I go into another rant," she says, running her hands through her hair. "I told you, we'll meet again in a few years, I'll punch Itachi, and then the proper story starts and everything's going to go down, and Zetsu, and Kaguya, and Danzō, and soon it'll either work out or we'll die horribly."
"Yeah," he grimaces and puts his arm around Ren's shoulders. "I'll do what I can with the Tobi situation. If he's anything like you, I think we can be friends."
"I believe you can do it, Kisame. It's not too late for him, it never was—he changed right at the very end. But I like him, I've always liked him, and through original Ren's very hazy toddler memories, I still remember him. He was a good kid, and I believe he can be a good man."
"I can't believe we're doing this. This-"
"You're not betraying Akatsuki or anything," Ren huffs defensively. "You're just befriending the leader in hopes of saving his life. I'd argue you're the only one truly working in favor of the organization."
"Yeah. What the fuck," he hides his face in his hands. "What has my life come to."
"My idiot plans. Now up!"
"Ugh."
They say their goodbyes over breakfast by the campfire, sitting close and exchanging friendly banter and kenjutsu tips. Then they stood up, packed the campsite apart, and each went on their merry way after a much-longer-than-necessary hug.
That might have occurred twice because they were both saps.
Elder Chiyo takes one look at Ren when the smoke clears and throws her forelegs up, clicking her mandibles in tired exasperation, quite possibly asking the heavens, or whatever would listen, just why on earth it was her.
"I actually have a good reason this time, and it's not just 'I want power', you know!" Ren says, and she should probably be offended, but she understands. Chiyo does this because she cares, and because the Spider Sage Mode can kill her, or drive her mad, if she isn't careful, and Ren doesn't strike anyone as the careful type. But she can't be mad at the spiders for caring enough about her to try to turn her away from the possibility of dying a horrible death.
"All right then," Elder Chiyo says suspiciously, and, against all the laws of nature, narrows her eyes. Spiders shouldn't be able to be this judgmental. "Let's hear it."
"I might've gotten into some real deep shit, as in survived an assassination from the inside, and now I have to deal with it and wait out the shitstorm, and if I want to live through it, I can't be in Konoha. If I appeal for training in my Summons' realm, it'll be granted, but if I come back without results, the Hokage will get suspicious."
"Was it Danzō?" a nod. "I- By the Great Broodmother, why is it always you."
"Please? It's a die or die type of situation."
"ARGH! FINE!"
"It- Wait, really?"
"Yes, really. Inoue no Himemiko has been wanting to meet you anyway."
"You mean the one that can't be summoned?"
"She can be summoned," Elder Chiyo clicks, "but you have to forge a contract with her directly to be able to."
Ren hums at the new piece of information.
"Also, that secret person-"
"They're still in Jōren. If they want to meet you, they'll come out to greet you, that's all I can promise."
"It's fine, I understand the need for secrecy," Ren says with a small smile. "Do we have a deal then?"
"I suppose. But if you kill yourself, I'll bring you back and kill you again, are we clear?"
"Eh, you gotta stand in line, I'm pretty sure Hana's got dibs, and a few other people."
"Doesn't that just prove you're a mess?"
"Rude. It does, but rude."
Chiyo grumbles some more, but eventually unsummons herself, and Ren is again left alone. Having delayed well over a week already, she opts to make a beeline for the village without any further interruptions. She manages to cover a good three/fourths of the way uninterrupted, and then a very familiar blonde launches himself at her out of the literal bush, followed by a rather exasperated Torune.
Ren just let herself be knocked into a tree. It's not like it'd cause her any injuries anyway.
"Hey brats," she says, not even bothering to unlatch Deidara from her midsection. He was fourteen-ish and still rather scrawny, and he wasn't going to get particularly tall anyway. Torune, on the other hand, was slowly becoming a proper gangly, awkward beanpole.
"I knew my kikaichu sensed someone familiar," Torune says. "And since it was about time of your return, we decided it was probably you. You were delayed, I heard?"
"Yeah. Random… events, during missions are a thing that happens."
"Were they possibly connected to Danzō and his little illegal organization?" Torune asks, and Ren hears the moment his eyes narrow despite being unable to see them due to his googles. She stiffens and Deidara, still latched onto her, notices.
"It depends on why you're asking."
"We had a run in with one, un," Deidara says. "When we were getting back. Said it was none of our business, but he was near the route you would've taken, and around the time you'd be there."
"Shino says he saw you leaving with a partner, even if you were meant to leave alone," Torune adds. "Said the man felt very similar to those from… that night."
"What happened to the one you met?" she can't help but ask.
"He, ah," Torune says, "had an unfortunate accident. They happen, after all."
"He fed him those bugs that make people go purple and rot instantly," Deidara supplies. "Then I blew up what was left, un."
"Accidents happen," Ren agrees sagely. "It's the nature of life. Rinkaichū, I'd assume?"
"Yes," Torune coughs into his sleeve, hiding a small smile behind his sleeve. "We're both also en-route back to the village. Would you like to return together?"
"He had us wait two days because he knew you'd be coming back, un!" Deidara tattles like the brat he is, and gets a smack on the head from his partner for his efforts. "Fuck you!"
"Let's go, you can tell me about your mission, and I can tell you about mine."
"Sure!" Deidara chirps. "Knowing you, something ridiculous happened."
"Do you know Kakuzu, the Bounty Hunter?"
"The notorious missing-nin who hunts other missing-nin because he loves money, un?" Deidara asks. "Don't you fucking tell me you met him-"
"He's honestly the better part of why I'm still alive," Ren chuckles. "I'd say we're friends now, kinda."
"What the fuck," is what Torune says, just staring straight at her, while Deidara nods in agreement, a very serious expression on his face. "Only you, Ren. Only you."
"You're starting to sound suspiciously like Hana," she says, narrowing his eyes at the boy. He looks up at her, and then, pointedly, looks at Deidara, and then back at her and says, very flat and deadpan;
"Huh. I wonder why. It's almost as if I became the majority of the common sense of a certain semi-suicidal brat."
Deidara looks at him, blinks, opens his mouth, red spreading over his face, bristles and-
"Fuck you, un!"
It sounds more like a friendly jab than an actual insult. Ren starts cackling.
