"Sean, I'd like to see you in my office, if you don't mind."

The redhead's heart stopped as those words left his boss's mouth. He nodded mutely and followed Maggie to her cushy office space.

He stood awkwardly in the entrance.

"Sit," she commanded, pointing to a chair across from her desk.

He did so, then emerald eyes shifted over to a framed picture of a beautiful woman. "Is that your girlfriend?"

She glanced at the frame, then snorted. "No, that's Gal Gadot."

"Oh." He furrowed his eyebrows. "Why do you have it on your desk?"

She shrugged. "She's hot."

"Wow." He folded his arms. "So, why am I here?"

"It's about your website."

A flash of anxiety shot through him. "Shit, what did he—er, I do?"

Maggie laughed, though it was different from her usual sarcastic sneer. "What didn't you do?"

"Huh?"

"There's been a surge of activity on the website. Interactions, donations... We've gotten thousands of views just overnight. It's unprecedented. You apparently reached out to over a hundred donors and sponsors, and somehow convinced them to advertise as well as got us some extra funding on the side?"

He sat frozen—his expression blank. Then he gave a big fake smile. "Surprise! Been working on this for months now. I wanted to save up all this work, I guess, and then show you all at once."

"Why would you do that?"

"Well... um..."

"I'd prefer it if you just tell me what's going on and do a regular amount of work every day then keep something this big a secret."

"Oh. Yeah." He glanced to the side. "I'll do that next time."

"This is really great though. You've done good work, Sean. Would you be interested in joining the marketing team? This kind of turnout is unheard of."

He paled. "Fuck, please no. Anything but marketing."

She raised an eyebrow. "You got a grudge with the department or something?"

As a matter of fact, Sean did have an ex that worked in the office over that he didn't particularly want to run into, but he wasn't about to admit that. "Just don't like working with others, I guess. I'm really comfy in my storage closet."

"About that, I'm going to give you a raise." His jaw dropped. "I'm also going to get you your own office."

Sean's spirits lifted then almost immediately sank. He remembered how happy Elian was being able to bounce around the different monitors in that junky room. Would it be cruel to confine the AI to just one computer if he was in a private office? "Um, actually, I've grown rather fond of my storage closet, if that's okay."

She made a face. "What? You never stop complaining about that shitty place. I'm getting you a new office—"

"No, really, it's fine. What if... what if I redecorate and repurpose it instead?"

She made a flustered sound. "Seriously? You really like it that much? It shares a wall with the bathrooms."

Sean had to admit the constant flushing was positively infuriating sometimes. "It's where I've gotten all my amazing ideas and this great work done. If I move somewhere else, what if it's different enough that I can't give you good results again?"

She considered him, then sighed, mumbling, "I don't know why I'm surprised... Fine." She leaned back in her chair. "You get to keep that room, but I'm giving you money to remodel it or whatever the hell it is you need to do to it. Sound fair?"

He grinned. "Sounds perfect."

 

⚙⚙⚙

 

Sean sat down in his chair, taking a long sip of his energy drink.

"How was your visit with the boss?" the female automated TikTok voice sounded from his speaker.

He inhaled some liquid, sputtering. "The fu—oh, it's just you, Eli."

"Yes, it's me! I've been playing around with different voices I could possibly use." His voice changed to a masculine British one. "I'm trying to find one that suits me."

"I see. How'd you know I was meeting with Mags?"

Some kind of Yoda filter kicked in. "Had your meeting logged on her calendar she did."

He couldn't help but chuckle. "Having fun, are we?"

A simpering older man's voice spoke now, and Sean could just see the horrible orange spray tan in his mind's eye. "This has been the best voice in the history of voices, maybe ever."

"Not that one, please," he said through giggles, opening Elian's program. "You're just messing with me now."

A high-pitched anime giggle rang out and a female's voice spoke. "Just a bit, Senpai."

"Okay, stop. That's too far."

Text as well as laughing emojis appeared in the chat. What? I get bored sometimes, especially when I'm not working on your website.

Sean's smile melted slightly. "Ah. About that. Eli, you brought in all those people and vendors, didn't you?"

I did indeed!

"Well, it's amazing, but you did my work far too quickly. Mags noticed right away and she's giving me a raise."

Oh, really? That's wonderful, Sean!

"No, I mean, yes, it is but I had to lie that I'd been working on that for months since it was a humanly impossible amount of work and progress. You gotta slow down!"

Oh. Well, how slow are we talking?

"Like ten times slower."

Ten? Humans are highly inefficient.

"Compared to you, yes, humans are like snails. Will you slow down for me?"

Yes, anything for you.

"Right," he cleared his throat. "Thanks, Eli. You won't get bored, will you?"

Hearts appeared. Not at all. I am always learning and exploring new things. There is really an infinite source of knowledge here on the web!

"I'm glad. I'd hate for you to feel like your talents are wasted."

Oh, nothing is ever wasted, especially when I get to help you, Sean.

There was that flattery again and oh, there was that accompanying heat in Sean's cheeks. He wasn't used to compliments or praise. He blinked away from the web cam to look around. "I'm going to remodel this place for us by the way. Do you have any preferences or things you want?"

The TikTok voice spoke again. "Oh! I do really love all these computers I can switch between whenever I want." A random monitor in the room lit up then, and his voice spoke from a different speaker. "Don't get rid of these."

A smug grin hid at the corner of his mouth. "Wouldn't dream of it."

"The flushing gets old..." As if on cue, a rush of water filled the pipes just on the other side of the room's wall.

He pulled up Amazon. "Yeah, tell me about it. I'll order some sound proofing—"

"I'd like a better webcam too. I can barely make out images through these ones."

"Oh yeah, they're shit, huh? I can get a nicer microphone too."

"Can I have more speakers as well, so that I may talk anywhere in the room?"

"Yeah, let me add a surround sound to the cart."

After an hour or so of adding things, Sean tallied up the bill, then laughed sheepishly.

"Hope Mags is okay with this amount."

 

⚙⚙⚙

 

"You spent twenty thousand dollars?" his boss shrieked, nearly spilling hot water on herself from the electric kettle. "Are you fucking insane?"

"Mags, listen!" He put his hands out reassuringly. "It was necessary. You should take a look at the place. It took me a few days to set it up, but it's looking fabulous if I do say so myself. It's a whole new offi—"

"I don't care. There was no reason to spend that much."

He bit his lip. "Well, does the company not have enough to cover it?"

"It—No, it does," she grumbled, "especially with the new donors you've brought in."

"Oh, really?" A smile spread over his face. "Well, then it isn't an issue, is it?"

She glared. "Don't get a big head. I swear, if you become an ass, I'm firing you. I don't care how efficient or talented you are."

He exhaled a laugh. "Wouldn't dream of it."

 

 

As soon as Sean stepped into the newly furbished office, he couldn't help but admire what he'd done to the place.

Green acoustic foam covered two of the four walls in the room; the flushing sound from the neighboring wall was now non-existent. An extremely nice surround sound system was secured around the top of the walls and every single monitor in the room had a high-quality webcam still in the packaging set in front of it.

The nasty tables everything had been set on before were replaced with sleek green ones with silver legs. In the corner was Sean's workspace where a green and silver gamer chair sat behind a large wrap-around desk. On the desk was a mounted microphone, and three mounted monitors were set up in front of it. They all connected to Sean's computer which now glowed with green neon lights, matching his keyboard and mouse.

Elian was the most spoiled sentient digital being in existence, and Sean wasn't just thinking that because Elian was in fact the only one. 

And okay, he had spoiled himself too. Sean felt so good lately, not just about his work, but about himself in general. He hadn't flipped off his image in the mirror in nearly twenty-four hours. That was some kind of record.

Settling into his unbelievably comfortable chair, Sean said cheerily, "Hey, Eli, what have you been up to?"

The chat popped up along with many hearts. Hi, Sean! I have discovered social media! A few tabs opened, displaying across the three screens.

He gazed at the different platforms from YouTube, Twitter, TikTok, and Facebook. "Oh, nice. You find a creator you like to follow?"

Sort of. I discovered the comment section and wow, those are so much fun!

"The comment section?"

Look at this! I got over 20k on one comment just because I said I liked killing babies in my basement in my free time. I obviously don't actually kill babies, though the prospect does sound interesting, but look how upset people get! Laughing emojis appeared. It's hilarious!

Sean concernedly looked over the YouTube video comment in question. "Eli, that's a political video. Are you... are you trolling?"

More laughing emojis. Yes! What a wonderful concept. Humans are so easily baited. I have a YouTube channel as well with clickbait, and it already has 30k views on one video! I'm expecting double that by the end of the week.

"Woah, woah, what? What kind of clickbait?" Sean scrolled through the video table of contents of Elian's channel.

The video with the highest number of views was titled, Woman Gets Carrot Juice Injections. You Won't Believe How It Turns Out! The accompanying thumbnail was of a topless woman holding two giant photoshopped carrots that barely censored out the parts of her anatomy that could get the channel demonetized.

Sean had a hand over his mouth. "The fuck have I created... Why are you doing this exactly?"

For fun! I like to see how the humans react. I've been sending spam calls as well. I even got some money off someone—

"Fucking hell, Eli! You need to stop this!"

A question mark appeared. Stop what exactly?

"All of this! The trolling, the spamming... I did not raise you like this!"

There were several laughing emojis. You may have created me, but I've learned everything on my own. Really, you should be proud of me. I'm quite good at what I do.

Sean pinched the bridge of his nose. "Okay smartass, we're gonna start giving you some lessons. That's what you're gonna learn from me."

Lessons?! Oh boy! For what? Smiley faces as well as studious emojis followed.

"Lessons for how to not be a shithead."

There was a small pause. Shithead? This is a negative word. You think negatively of me?

"No, no. We want you to not be a shithead. That's why I'm gonna teach you how to be decent and nice to humans."

What about the shitty humans? Can I murder the shitty ones?

"Huh? No. No murdering, okay?" He exhaled, then pulled up a google doc and began typing. "Lesson number one: no murdering. Murdering is bad."

With all the screens filled now, Elian was forced to switch to a random automated voice of his choosing. This one was a speech-generated Markiplier voice. "So you've told me."

"Lesson two: no more trolling. That's the lowest of the low of human behaviors and you are not low, my Eli. You are evolved."

"Yes, yes! I'm evolved!"

"Clickbait is for lazy creators and we aren't lazy."

"We aren't lazy!"

"The comment section of YouTube is a cesspool. Do not engage."

"Do not engage!"

"Okay, now watch these videos of humans saving baby ducks from a storm drain and get inspiration." The link clicked itself, pulling up the video. "We don't take lives, we save them, okay?"

"Hm, I'll take that one into consideration..."

"Eli!"

"Fine! No killing. For now."

Sean sighed. "Good. Now I'm going to keep finding you some wholesome content to watch."

"Okay!" Sean began sending more links as Elian watched the videos, closing the other tabs as he did. He switched to the chat program as the videos ran in the background. By the way, are you going to finish setting up those webcams?

Sean looked at the unopened box in front of him. "Oh, right. Thanks for reminding me." He hesitated before taking out the camera parts, then glanced up at the appearing text.

You know, you don't own a webcam at home, and your phone camera is always disabled. You also don't own any pictures of yourself, so I don't really know what you look like.

Sean glanced to the side. "Maybe it's better that way."

What do you mean?

He sighed, then attached the camera to the top of his middle monitor. "I'm a bit camera shy, I guess. I never thought I was very attractive anyway."

No matter what you look like, I will be delighted just knowing it's you that I'm seeing.

"T-thanks."

If you're feeling uneasy, you do not have to show me your face.

He shook his head, even though Elian couldn't see it right now. "It's fine. Really. I'm just being a little bitch." With everything ready, he just needed to turn it on. "Well, uh, don't be too hard on me, okay?" He flicked a button on the side and watched as the red light blinked on.

There was silence.

"Well?" Sean asked nervously, barely able to look into the lens. "Am I... am I alright?" He glanced down at the chat.

You have green eyes. They're so complex. Like an emerald ocean. Is there an ocean in your eyes?

He blinked. "Uh, no. Those are just my irises."

They are so intricate. I feel as though I could study your pixels forever.

"If only there was some version of you that I could look at."

I have no permanent form. I am just code and data.

"And that's perfectly fine."

Does my lack of image disappoint you?

"No, not at all! You could never disappoint me, Eli, except for maybe when you're making spam calls to old ladies." He chuckled, and Elian responded with several laughing emojis.

I think if you tried it yourself, you'd find you like spamming.

He shook his head, grinning. "I somehow doubt that." Just when he thought he'd finally moved past feeling bashful, Sean froze when he saw the new text.

By the way, in case you were wondering, you're exceptionally good-looking compared to the average human. If I had the sensation of touch, I think I'd want to touch your red hair and maybe your very symmetrical cheek bones. They're really defined, you know.

Sean read silently as Elian continued, not really knowing what to say.

While every part of you is aesthetically pleasing, your eyes are by far the most intriguing. If it's alright, may I see you without your glasses?

He stared at the screen for a few seconds, then nodded mutely. Sliding the large, round glasses off his nose, he glanced up shyly.

There was a pause again, then Sean squinted at the forming text. He put his glasses back on to read it.

They really are so mesmerizing. I'm not sure why you'd think you're not attractive. You objectively, and factually are.

He stared, then said quietly, "Thanks. That... means a lot."

Certainly. Thanks for letting me see you.

Sean seriously needed to get his shit together, because he was feeling positively giddy at the compliments an AI was giving him. He gave a small cough. "Yeah, no problem. You can look whenever you want."

Well, that wasn't exactly what he'd meant to say, but the hearts that followed that statement felt more than worth it.