“I have never been so conflicted in my entire life.” The slime announced, after the pair of them had stared at the twin evolution prompts in mutual silence for nearly a minute. “I wish we could take them both!”

“Wouldn’t that be something.” Sean responded, in whole-hearted agreement. “Just mix evolutions, take the parts we want from each and get the best of both worlds.”

“... it doesn’t work like that, does it?” Sean inquired after Gel was silent again.

“I wish.”

Sean’s disappointment barely even registered as he excitedly read through the prompts again.

Evolution: Geladin

Tier: 3

Rarity: Whispered

Description: An all-consuming hunger given armored, ever-shifting form, geladins are one of the markedly few entities wholly devoted to both Death itself and Chaos incarnate. Serving two entirely separate aspects towards ends known only to them, the appearance of these undead is considered both an omen of change and one of dire warning amongst the communities who can recognize them. A geladin receives two gifts from the aspects it serves on its creation, and it is said these gifts shape the path it walks forever.

Special Traits: Slime Armor, Gift of Death, Gift of Chaos

“What do you think the gifts are?” Gel wondered aloud as they headed back towards where Saren awaited them, now that the main purpose of their little hunting trip had been fulfilled. They could look for more entrances to the city proper later. “I don’t get anything when I examine it. Not any special text, not a refusal, just… nothing. Slime armor says it lets me make myself into armor for us, which I’m all for– provided it doesn’t make me feel every hit.”

Gel looked up at him from the edge of a crimson whip dangling over Sean’s shoulder.

“You get hit a lot.” The slime pointed out. “I prefer not getting hit.”

“I don’t think we’ll know until we choose it, Gel.” Sean said, ignoring the shot at his tendency to weather blows he thought he could just barrel right through entirely. “That’s probably the point, actually.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean the description says geladins are ‘wholly devoted to’ both of those aspects.” Sean said, clambering up a raised section of stone and heading left down another sewer tunnel. Gel knew the way back, but his sense of direction since becoming a gelaton was unerring. He knew exactly where to go. Even if all these tunnels looked the same, they were his territory. Getting lost here was as impossible for him as it might have been in his own backyard.

“It’s probably something we’re expected to take on faith.” Sean continued as he went. “Or a reward for our faith? I don’t know how devotion works here. Or really what that would entail, but you have to admit: it sounds really cool.”

It wasn’t lost on Sean that their path thus far had mostly traveled down the ‘Death’ and ‘Chaos’ aspected nodes of the manasphere. Nor had he missed– or could even forget, really– the impossibly vast sounds of the twin voices that had read a few of his prompts to him. Voices Sean still suspected belonged to both of those same aspects.

Their power hasn’t led us astray so far.

“It does sound really cool.” Gel allowed, and there wasn’t any hesitation in the slime’s voice when he said it. “And the only thing I am devoted to is finding my next meal. So long as it doesn’t interfere with that, then all of my potential objections are handled.”

“It literally says all-consuming hunger in the very first sentence.” Sean pointed out. “I don’t think that’s something you have to worry about.”

“I know!” Gel enthused, his whip practically vibrating in excitement. “If the other one wasn’t so amazing, I would have already told you to pick it.”

Sean’s attention slipped back to the prompt showing the final evolution option they had available this round. He read it again as they walked, not in any particular hurry to get back. That sewer croc had capped out his mana once more, and there was still a ways left to go.

Evolution: Arsenal Chef

Tier: 3

Rarity: Whispered

Description: Equally proficient in all forms of combat and cooking, arsenal chefs often terrorize their enemies by engaging in both at the same time. These multi-limbed undead are walking kitchens and armories all at the same time, and are inherently equipped to navigate the many demands of their dual professions no matter the circumstance. Arsenal chefs are known to employ a unique culinary style that turns battles into breakfasts, and for this reason they are famously well-regarded members in nearly any community of fellow monsters regardless of aspect affiliations.

Special Traits: Recipe for Battle, Extra Limbs (Arms), Dual-Use Armory

If there was anything that could entice Sean not to pick ‘Geladin’ as their next evolution… this was it. Not only was the name ridiculously enticing, but unlike his other favorite pick at the moment– Sean could actually get more information on all of ‘Arsenal Chef’’s special traits. He hadn’t needed to read more about ‘Slime Armor’, but he was particularly curious about these three.

Recipe for Battle: Creatures with this trait can discover new recipes during combat with opponents they consider edible.

Having recently bargained with a hidden oasis druid only to receive a handful of her recipes, Sean knew the value of this trait was likely a fair bit more than that single sentence let on. He was also rather surprised by Gel’s restraint here. Given that the omnivorous slime considered quite literally everyone they had ever come across as edible – to the point Gel often took offense if there was ever an implication he might not eat someone – Sean would likely have the chance to discover a new recipe every time they entered combat.

Which we do a lot. Sean reflected, knowing that was in no small part due to his ever-present mana-based death countdown. It sounds like the recipes would be based on whatever we fought, too. Which is good and bad, I suppose. Wait… would getting into a ‘fight’ with a coconut count as combat?

Sean doubted that would work. He would be pleasantly surprised if it did, for sure. But he doubted it. If this world’s rules had been consistent on anything, it was that there always seemed to be ingrained checks and balances whenever the concept of ‘fairness’ was stretched a bit too far.

Like the whole experience system denying growth if there’s no challenge. The gelaton suppressed a shrug, looking over the other two special traits of ‘Arsenal Chef’ again.

Extra Limbs (Arms): Creatures with this trait have an additional number of arms through some means, achieved in such a way that their bodies are not directly hampered by the addition.

Yup. Still not sure how I feel about this one. On the one hand, Sean would have all the help he needed when it came to multi-tasking. On the other, he would likely have at least two more. Going from running around with one arm for a while to four … or even six? Feels like a bit of a stretch. At least the next trait sounds better.

Dual-Use Armory: Creatures with this trait can grow, reveal, or otherwise manifest multiple kinds of tools and/or weaponry, with each expressly designed to serve at least two purposes.

Sean’s imagination treated him to two different potential realities for this one, and knowing his luck it would probably be a mix of both: either he would get to use awesome weapons that doubled as chef’s tools, or he would end up fighting their foes with the equivalent of those late-night “all-in-one” commercial products. The kind your aunt sent you every year for your birthday because she remembered you liked cooking but hadn’t stepped foot into her own kitchen since app-based food delivery had become a thing.

Oh, MunchClub. You will be missed. Sean thought wistfully, before coming back to reality. He wanted both ‘Geladin’ and ‘Arsenal Chef’, either one was clearly the superior choice out of the rest. The only problem was neither one offered a solution to the problem they had come down here to resolve, namely: getting them into the city undetected. Hell, ‘Geladin’ is even recognized as an ‘omen of change and dire warning’. If we got caught in the city as one of those, there’s zero chance they aren’t taking the threat seriously. We’d be dead within an hour.

Sean did have an evolution that promised to be the solution they needed. The ‘Skinwalker’ special trait from ‘Skeletal Commando’ was every bit as super-spy/villian as it sounded. With it, they could walk right into Dervash and not a single citizen or guard would be any the wiser.

If only that were our best option, I’d have already taken it. Sean mused. But it’s not. Not by a country mile.

Sean had just turned down another tunnel when Gel asked him something that the gelaton hadn’t actually considered yet. If he had, he would have done so immediately despite the allure of possibilities offered by his last two choices.

“Have you checked out my options yet?” Gel asked brightly, still wobbling about in a way that proved just how excited the slime was right now. Like a kid on Christmas, waiting for his parents to wake up.

“No, how many do you have?” Sean was curious to see if the amount offered was limited, as he suspected they shared the ‘hybrid’ options again just like they had ‘Gelaton’. “Do you have all of mine?”

“Nope!” Gel confirmed, in that same bright tone as if nothing were amiss. “But I do have the option to select any of yours that would obviously require both of us to make.”

“Wait, seriously? How is that–” Sean was about to ask how that was even possible, before he recalled the ability they had gained at Gelaton to choose abilities from one another’s manasphere maps so long as they were compatible. Is that it? Now we can select compatible evolutions, too? That is… wow.

“Seriously.” Gel confirmed. “Now quick, read mine! There’s some good stuff in here you might want to consider before making your choice.”

Sean dismissed his own prompts and went to pull up Gel’s status page, but both the slime’s intent and his own had somehow been conveyed to whatever was issuing prompts because the gelaton immediately received Gel’s own evolution notification.

Congratulations, Initiate of Chaos! Upon reaching level 17, you have earned the right to evolve into your next form! As a sentient creature, you are unique amongst your slime brethren in that you have the right to choose which of the following unlocked third-tier evolutions you would like to become:

• Composite Ooze

• Sandslime

• Bonemeal

• Mimic

• Nobleouze

• Doppelganger

“Holy shit, Gel.” Sean swore, unable to help himself. “Nobleouze? You weren’t kidding, slime royalty really is a thing.”

“I told you it was!” Gel said proudly. “There’s a whole, proud lineage there. Well, many lineages. So many. I don’t think we have time to go over them all right now.”

“We don’t.” Sean agreed, already pulling up the first of Gel’s options to get more information. “But we have time for me to look at these before we make it back to Saren, at least.”

“Yup! You give those a look, I’m going to check out my new node options. I can feel there’s something good waiting for me in there.” The slime enthused. “Can feel it in my wobble.”

Evolution: Composite Ooze

Tier: 3

Rarity: Surpassing

Description: Composed of not only the amorphous slime inherent to the slime and ooze races but that of multiple raw materials, composite slimes play havoc on local ecosystems just by existing. These slimes consume and embody not just flesh and muscle, but also earth, stone, and even some types of metal with relative ease. Composite slimes rarely fully dissolve their meals either, preferring instead to keep said materials within them for later use.

Special Traits: Panomnivore, Material Body

Glad he doesn’t want this one. Was Sean’s first thought as he finished reading the prompt, knowing full well there was a zero-percent chance Gel wouldn’t take a test-dissolve bite out of him the second the slime was able to disintegrate bone. In fact, why hadn’t the slime argued for this?

Probably because he wants to earn the ‘omnivore’ trait on his own, or prove he doesn’t need it. Sean guessed. That logic felt right to him, so the gelaton pulled up the next option.

Evolution: Sandslime

Tier: 3

Rarity: Surpassing

Description: The origin story behind every ‘sand trap’ tale, sandslimes are the stuff of nightmares for every desert dwelling creature. These slimes are nearly indistinguishable from sand due to the fact they are entirely comprised of it, a trait which has confounded scholars since their discovery. Sandslimes do not dissolve their prey, choosing instead to surround their meals (or sizable portions of them) and grind the meat away until there is nothing but bone-dust left to consume– and then, they eat that, too.

Special Traits: Race Hybrid (Slime-Elemental), Local Camouflage

‘Race Hybrid’? Sean couldn’t help himself, so he pulled the trait up.

Race Hybrid (Slime-Elemental): Creatures with this trait are the result of successful breeding between two or more distinct races of monster.

Hu-uh… Ask stupid questions, I guess. Suppose that means elementals are a thing here, too. I wonder how common they– wait. Sean remembered the fire motes back at Dry Run, and then the little dustbunny-looking things Auntie Ta had had. Do those count? Those have to count.

… Don’t they? Shaking his head, Sean continued to the next option. One he really hoped wasn’t exactly what it sounded like.

Evolution: Bonemeal

Tier: 3

Rarity: Surpassing

Description: Living proof that terror comes in an infinite number of forms, bonemeal are only formed at sites where countless bones have been slowly ground together. These slime-skeleton hybrids resemble clouds of partially obscured white dust that float in place as they devour everything unfortunate to enter their radius. A bonemeal is capable of temporarily forming specific shapes while drifting towards its next meal, and this ability is often used to squeeze through otherwise impassable barriers to surprise the unwitting.

Special Traits: Disembodied Form, Self-Shaping

Sean stared at the prompt in front of him for several paces. It was simultaneously less and more horrifying than what he had been imagining. While he could definitely see the benefits in becoming what was essentially an omnivorous cloud of all things– doing so would rob them of many opportunities he planned on taking in this world. Not to mention they would almost certainly have to leave their loot behind.

Hard pass on the consume-cloud, thanks. Sean thought, mentally resolving to keep a much closer orb on any suspiciously moving sand or mini-sand devils after reading the last two prompts. Now to see how scary mimics are here.

Evolution: Mimic

Tier: 3

Rarity: Surpassing

Description: The ultimate trap for the unwary, mimics have given rise to more cautionary tales told by adventurers, travelers, and merchants than perhaps any other kind of monster. These slime-skeleton hybrids utilize both the rigid and ever-shifting nature of their forebears to perfectly mimic the shape, texture, and even potentially the traits of inanimate objects. Once so disguised, mimics can lay in perfect stillness and wait for hours, days, even months or years for unsuspecting prey– only to strike with carefully planned accuracy the instant its target gets within consuming range.

Special Traits: Object Mimicry, Dormant Awareness

Yup. That’s… horrifying. Not restricted to chests either, it looks like. They can just be… anything. Is there even a size limit? Sean gave the tunnel walls a sidelong glance as he walked, unable to shake the irrational notion that he could be inside a mimic right now. Then again, if we were it would’ve already been consuming us, so… one less thing to worry about.

Just as Sean was adding another resolution to his list– this time to start poking inanimate objects with sticks before he picked them up– Gel interrupted him with some unexpected news.

“Finally! I knew there was something special hidden in there. I knew it, ha-hah! And I was so, so right.” Gel cackled, clearly delighted. “Alright, I’ve made my selection. Just wait until you see what I can do now– if you thought I was impressive before!”

“What’d you get?” Sean asked, curious as to why the slime was currently chortling in glee. Gel may be frequently exuberant, but the slime was rarely like that without good cause.

“I got us…” Gel paused for dramatic effect. “A disguise!”

Sean stopped walking. “Wait, seriously? That means–”

“We don’t have to choose an evolution we don’t want just to get into the city anymore?” Gel finished for him. “Yes, yes it does. You can start thanking me at any time.”

Clattering bones signaled Sean’s laughter as he resumed walking. He clenched his midnight left hand up in a victory fist.

“Ha-hah, hell yeah!” Sean shouted mentally. His undead nature began working to quench his excitement, but Sean was not about to be so contained. He had also not finished looking at every option they had though, so he quickly pulled the next two up.

When he did, the gelaton stopped moving again.

“I see you’ve finally found the good ones.” Gel said smugly. “We might have to pick one of mine this time!”

“Yeah…” Sean said, almost in disbelief at the thought.

“We just might.”