“You know…” Isabella started in a sing-song voice, taking me out of my thoughts. “If you want to come with us, you can come. No need to hold yourself back.”

I blinked, turning around and seeing her already changed, garbed in her pants, boots and leather armor. Her infallible knifes where placed in two belts, one around her waist and the other crossing her chest. Isabella was amazing at knife throwing. She could hit targets from over ten meters.

She smiled, her hands on her hips. “I can see right through you. When dad said you could wait here, you looked like you had swallowed a lemon.”

I frowned, offended. “That’s not true. Why would I look like that when I want to go back home? I don’t want to go into battle for people I barely know in the first place. And in second place, I’m not fit for battle anyway. I mean, look at me” I gestured with my hand, encompassing my whole, emaciated self. “Do I look like I would be of any help to you?”

“You don’t necessarily have to fight, but your gift would be a great asset” Isabella answered, not denying my claim about my physical condition. For some reason, this peeved me more.

“If I’m of so much help, then why didn’t your father ask me to come with you?”

“Oh, so that’s what’s going on” Isabella nodded, smiling and leaving me confused. “You’re angry because nobody begged you to come with us. I see. I see.”

“Where did you even got that from? I don’t want anybody begging me anything!” I refuted, astounded at her conclusion.

“Then you want us to drag you against your will? Is that what you want?”

“That’s not-!”

“Help me understand Elaine, because I really don’t get it. What is it you exactly want to do?” she sounded so patronizing, like a mother talking to her unruly child. What the hell?

"I don't understand the point of this conversation" I said instead of answering, because I truly didn't. What was she trying to do?

Isabella sighed, adjusting her knifes, talking as she verified everything was in order. "You seem discontent. Even though you say one thing your eyes say another. I don't think there's anything bad with admitting to want to do crazy, unreasonable things once in a while."

"I don't want to, though."

She snorted. Her eyes returned to me, and I felt strangely small when under her gaze. It was like she could see through me. I didn't like that sensation at all.

"It might just be me" she said after a while, still not taking her eyes off me; "but I can at least say this: whatever situation I get into, I want to see it all through to the end. Letting other people resolve my issues for me it's not my style, but I guess I can't say the same about you" her eyes narrowed, not in a condescending way, just as if she was thinking about something deeply. Still, it felt like a slap to my face. "So I'm going to ask one last time, what do you want to d-?"

“I don’t know!” I yelled, interrupting her while standing up and glaring and feeling so annoyed at her insistence on a topic that wasn't even her business. Isabella raised an eyebrow, and only in that moment I realized my outburst. I blushed. “It’s just… when everything started, I was dragged against my will, used and abused at every turn…" I told myself I dind't owe her any explanations, but my mouth kept talking, saying my thoughts out loud as they came into being in my mind. "While I was in that castle, I felt so trapped, the only thing I wanted to do was go home. And I still do, but…”

I bit my lip, almost expecting Isabella to say something before I could, but she remained silent, and I was forced to continue with my mind still a mess.

“But now… it’s strange, you know? I feel like if I go home now, then I would be missing something. It makes me think; I was a part of this all this time, and yet now I stay here? It’s stupid, and it would be extremely dumb of me to want to go when I said I wanted to go back home so many times, but…”

“You want a part of the action after all, isn’t that so?” Isabella concluded for me, tilting her head. I sighed.

“That sounds a little too…”

“But it’s the truth, no?” she asked, walking slowly towards me. “You were a prisoner for whatever reason in that castle. You wanted to go home so badly because you didn’t like the situation you were in, but when you gained freedom to do what you wanted, you realized you actually wanted to be a part of this, right?”

I didn’t say anything, trying to make sense of my own feelings.

Isabella continued. “You see, we all know here the difference there is between doing something while being forced and doing something because you want to. Even if you are given the same option, your feelings will be different depending on one or the other. I don’t know what happened to you there and why you were escaping with that young lord, and I won’t ask, because mercenaries don't pry, but you should be aware of one thing. If you want to do something, do it. Life it’s too short to be questioning things, especially if you are a mercenary.”

And with that, she gave me a big smile and walked away, leaving the tent, and me, behind.

What a load of bullshit. Mercenaries don't pry, my butt.

She had to be a shonen character! Ah, but Mathias and Lucas were also shonen characters and they weren’t like that, so pathetically cheerful. Well, Lucas was closer to it, but Mathias was another story entirely. Not a chance of being mister ray of sunshine.

But these two… Noah and Isabella, they were so… enthusiastic. And Isabella, speaking as if she knew anything, as if she could say whatever she wanted and expect people to heed her words and feel better afterwards thanks to her!

“Talk no jutsu doesn’t exist in real life!” I yelled, before stomping off outside the tent. I admit it, ok! I admit it! I’m curious! And stupid enough to feel disappointed when people didn’t drag me with the plot anymore because then I would have to tag along myself! But what do you want me to say? That I’m fine just waiting behind while they kick that disgusting viscount’s ass and then come back to tell me how everything was a success? No!

It wasn’t because I yearned for adventure, it wasn’t even because I was curious about what exactly would happen, even though I admit I was indeed curious. It all came back to one simple thing; I was already a part of this, a part of the story, of this arc. My family suffered from it, I suffered from it, and hell would froze over before I allowed anyone, including myself, to take away my opportunity, no, my right to see this thing through to the end, as Isabella said.

I was aware it was not the most logical explanation, but to hell with it. I wanted what I wanted, and that was it. I could think about the little details later.

So I ran outside, under the surprised and inquisitive gazes of the men around me, and upon seeing Isabella farther than I thought she would be, I shouted her name.

“Isabella!”

She halted. Looking over her shoulder, she blinked her pretty eyes and stared at me. A cheeky grin started taking form on her lips, and I snorted as I continued to walk over her, stopping in front of her just as she turned around to face me. I crossed my arms.

“I’ll go with you, and no, you may not say anything regarding our conversation. I have my reasons for wanting to go.”

“Uh-huh.”

“It wasn’t you who convinced me or anything. I just realized there’s no reason for me not to do what I want to do, and what I want to do is go back to that castle and see that viscount paying for his actions.”

“Sure.”

“This doesn’t mean I’m going to join your band!” I exclaimed, pointing a finger at her, my other hand on my hip. “And I’ll tell you now so you can tell your father and Noah, my vision was a one-time thing only. What I saw has already changed thanks to my actions, so I won’t be of any help to your band anyway. On the off-hand I might have another vision, the same thing will happen once we change what I saw, so I’m pretty much useless to you anyway.”

“That sounds weird for a precognition gift. Are you sure it’s a one-time thing only?”

“It is!” Isabella raised an eyebrow, but she nodded anyway. Whatever, I wasn’t going to stay with you anyway, I just want to accompany you guys for this one occasion. I sighed, dropping my head and positioning my two hands on my hips.

Isabella giggled. “So, are you done giving excuses? Can we leave now?”

I looked at her, annoyed, but decided to leave the fight for now. Stiffly, I nodded, and her smile got bigger.

“Perfect! Now let’s go back to the tent. I’m pretty sure I still have a few old armors you can use…”

I pursed my lips, letting her guide me by the hand. I was determined not to regret what I was going to do. After all, even if only this once, I was part of this story.

I was a little more than just a nameless extra.

End of Chapter 4

A.P.R.L.

Hello everyone. I hope you're all taking care of yourselves, staying home and washing your hands. It's important to take care of your loved ones too during this pandemic by keeping distance and not exposing someone else in case we're asymptomatic. As you can all see, I changed the title and synopsis of the novel. The reasons are on my profile if you're curious about it. I accept suggestions if the new title isn't to your liking, because being honest, I'm not sure myself about it, though I like it better than the previous one.