Unlike last time, the cell that was appointed to us was much bigger and less dreary and dirty. It had one bed, but other than that it was like any other cell one could imagine; completely closed off with a single barred tiny window on the highest part of the wall. A heavy door of wood separated us from the outside. The smell of moss and dust permeated the air.

It was getting closer to night already, the light of twilight barely illuminating the room.

I sighed, lying on the bed motionless with my leg stretched. It didn’t hurt as much as before, but that was only because Lucas had been intermittently healing it for the entirety of the day. Right now he was sleeping, exhausted, next to me. I was occupying myself by seeing all the different cracks on the ceiling.

Was it because Lucas was the son of the viscount? Was that the reason this prison cell was better than my previous one? In some way, it made sense, though I was left wondering why I was locked up with him. Obviously this eastern tower had more than one cell. Was it because the servants didn’t want Lucas to be alone with his thoughts before the inevitable?

So many questions ran wild around my mind, but they were all trivial ones, since I refused to even wonder about the most important there was. And that was, why was Mathias behaving like this?

It might be because I was no longer going to become a sacrifice that my mind subconsciously wanted to find a logical reason for his actions. Without the fear of imminent death it was easier to wonder the whys and hows of his behavior. What was going on through his mind? What did he actually want to do? Despite what I saw in the courtyard yesterday night, I resolutely refused to believe his fear of his father was much bigger than his love for his brother.

This was the same guy who pretty much gave up his humanity just to get a chance to protect Lucas from becoming a sacrifice. Who weighted the pros and cons for over a year and came up with the conclusion that saving his brother overwrote everything else, and everyone else, in this world.

But in the end, it was not really my place to try and understand him. In my book, he was already beyond forgiveness. Moreover, while it was true I was no longer in immediate danger, that did not mean I was completely safe. The viscount retained me despite no longer being of use to him. I didn’t know what he planned to do to me once the ritual was done, but considering what I saw of him so far, it couldn’t be anything good.

I shook my head, closing my eyes and trying to rest, to no avail. I had been unable to ever since we were locked up. Lucas was asleep, true, but it was only because healing me took a lot of his energy and he had to recuperate afterwards. Since healing magic was not his forte, it took him ten times the same energy it would take someone with an affinity towards this type of magic to complete the task. And it was not even halfway done.

The sound of the door quickly opening and closing was heard, and when I lifted my head I saw a tray with two dishes and bread on the floor. The smell was tantalizing, making my empty stomach rumble. I nudged Lucas.

“Hey, Lucas, wake up” he grumbled something unintelligible and turned to the other side, but I kept shaking him. “Food, Lucas! Aren’t you hungry?”

Finally, he opened his eyes and looked at me drowsily. It took him a few more minutes to come back to his senses, before he groggily stood up and went to retrieve the tray. He placed it on the bed, which was so hard it could function as a table, and with his help I sat up.

Compared to what they gave me the first day, this was definitely food of the gods. I loved soup, all kinds of soups, so taking a few spoonfuls of the warm broth made me momentarily smile in joy.

I stopped when I saw the way Lucas lifelessly ate.

“You need to eat it all Lucas. Otherwise you won’t have enough energy left to escape” I told him, passing him my share of bread. He said nothing, even though he accepted the bread, and like that, in silence, we ate.

When we were finished he placed the tray again where it was and came back to my side.  Without saying anything else he reached out to my leg. Blue light emanated from his hands. Without thinking, I pushed him aside.

“Don’t do that. You’ve help me enough already. Save your energy for…”

“Elaine, be realistic.”

I winced, not because his words were harsh or they hurt me, but because I didn’t want to see him like that. I didn’t know if it was the weariness of healing me and constantly depleting his energy until he collapsed, or because of what was going to happen in a few hours, but either way, it pained me seeing him like that.

“It was unrealistic trying to help me back then” I said after a while, still keeping his hands away from me; “but you helped me nonetheless, I…” I bit my lower lip. Honestly speaking, from all the people I met ever since I recovered my memories from my past life, Lucas was the only one who tried to help me from beginning to end. He took me out of that dreadful cell the first day, and then looked for a way for me to escape with Adela even though he was going to be the only one to pay afterwards. Even now, he was hellbent in healing my broken leg. I sighed. “I’m not someone who abandons those who have helped me. I want to do something for you as well.”

Lucas didn’t answer, but at the very least he stopped trying to heal my leg. He sighed, letting himself fall on the bed, and closed his eyes. I stared at him, wondering just how I could help him, but more than all, how to convince him to keep trying. I couldn’t let him die just because he was a decent person who wanted to save me from being a sacrifice. But more than anything else, I didn’t want him to die a useless death when I knew the heroes were coming soon. A more selfish part of me also wanted to save him because I didn’t want my suffering and that of my family to be in vain. It was all done so he could live, why give up all of a sudden?

Remembering this, I clenched my fists and glanced down, biting my lips to try and keep my emotions under control. After everything Mathias did, was he really going to give up so easily?

“Elaine” Lucas called my name. When I looked at him, I saw him staring at me. “Elaine, do you hate my brother?”

Uhhh… what to answer? I mean, I thought it was pretty obvious, no? But saying it out loud to the little brother in question made me incredibly uncomfortable for some reason…

Lucas chuckled, seeing my internal struggle. He changed positions to lie on his back, his arms extended at either side of him. “It’s alright if you hate him. He did a lot of bad things to you after all. Even if he did so to protect me, he was still mean to you and those you love.”

I said nothing, looking away afraid of what may come out of my mouth. I heard Lucas sigh.

“I’m sorry for everything that happened to you. For what happened to your family and what happened here. You should have never been involved in this, and yet we dragged you into it. So I apologize from the bottom of my heart.”

“…It’s alright. You at the very least didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Oh, but I did” he corrected. His gaze was fixed on the ceiling, and even though he looked a bit out of it, I could tell he was being sincere. “I might not have known in the beginning, but later I understood exactly what was going on and what my father was making Mathias do. Despite that, I was afraid. I knew my father wouldn’t hesitate to use me as the sacrifice, and I was so scared of dying. Mathias told me time and time again everything would be fine. That he would find a solution and I wouldn’t have to die. And I believed him. I closed my eyes and feigned ignorance while everything was happening to you.

But then, you arrived. I saw you secretly from a corner when you were taken to my father that first day, and witnessing the state you were in… it suddenly sunk in. You are younger than me, but you were going to be my replacement simply because I was too afraid to die. That was so unfair! I hated myself and my cowardice in that moment, and stupidly thought that if I improved your living conditions for what little time you had left, it would decrease my feeling of guilt. But it didn’t. In fact, it got even worse. Then, after Mathias told you what he did to your family I finally understood… that just because I didn’t want to die it didn’t mean I had to force someone else to take my place. After all, you also didn’t want to die, fought against it much more fiercely than I ever did. If someone deserved to live, it was you.”

He halted momentarily, gathering his thoughts. I didn’t say anything, waiting for him to finish what he wanted to say before voicing my own thoughts.

“So, you see, you might be angry right now with Mathias for abandoning me, but the truth is, he did everything and more of what he could to protect me, to avoid the inevitable. It was supposed to be me from the beginning. This situation now, it’s only the correction of something that went off a long time ago. So, if you tell me to escape, don’t. I accept whatever happens from now on. However” he sat up so fast he surprised me, and before I could stop him he had a hand over my leg, letting blue light shined down on it again. I tried to move away to stop him, but he prevented me by using his other hand to hold me back; “you are different. We don’t know what will happen to you after the ritual it’s done, that’s why you need to heal as much as you can so you can run away. You understand, don’t you? Elaine.”

I did, but that didn’t mean I agreed with it. “How can you sound so calm? Why are you not angry with your brother? You should hate him for abandoning you in this moment” I complained to him. I was answered with a shrug.

“Should I? My situation it’s different from yours Elaine. To you, Mathias it’s a stranger who came to your life and broke havoc in it. But that’s not the case for me. In this house, I was completely alone. No one would look at me. Nor the servants, nor my parents. The only one who was ever there for me was Mathias. Did you know? For as long as I remember, Mathias has never disobeyed an order from my father. Never. And yet, sometimes it seemed that wasn’t enough. He would disappear for days without a trace just to appear covered in bruises and this look on his face… as if he was dead inside. He always tried to cover them up, but he never fooled me. He pretended to be strong in front of me, but he’s simpler than you think. Paying a bit of attention you can guess most of his thoughts and feelings. He always does that, pushes himself until he can’t anymore because he thinks it’s his duty, that if he doesn’t no one else will. He did it all the time with me, taking care of me and making sure I wasn’t sad whenever my parents would give me the cold shoulder.

So, I understand that you hate him Elaine, I wouldn’t dream of asking you to forgive him. But I don’t” he smiled sadly, the light from his hand diminishing until it was extinguished. “You might never forgive him. But I do. Even if the whole world never forgives him, I’ll forgive him.”

With those final words, silence engulfed the cell, one so heavy it was difficult to breathe. What could I possibly say? My heart felt heavy, my lungs tight. I gulped down the knot I felt forming on my throat, and opened my mouth. “Lucas…”

“How does it feel?” he asked, interrupting me on purpose. His question as well as his eyes looking at my leg, made me direct my gaze to the same place. “Does it still hurt? Can you move it? I did everything I could.”

I frowned, touching the leg that was no longer red and hot. I felt a little discomfort, but it was nothing compared to last night. I tried moving it a little, and even though it felt kinda heavy, I was able to.

“I… I don’t know what to say” I lifted my eyes and looked at him with the most sincerity I could muster. “Thank you so much Lucas.”

“Don’t mention it” he smiled, but it was a tired smile. I felt bad for him.

“Hey, Lucas… you… you don’t need to…” I shut my mouth just when the words were about to leave. I wanted to tell him not to give up. To keep trying to live, but honestly speaking, was it my place to ask of him that? So I rethought what I wanted to say, and when I found something reasonable, I tried again. “If there is anything I can do for you, no matter how small it is, please tell me. I’ll do my absolute best to do it!”

Lucas blinked, taken aback by my words. “Elaine, there’s no need…”

“I mean it! You’ve helped me so much already… and it feels like I can do nothing for you in return. Besides, I’m a person who doesn’t like to be in debt” I said the last thing to take off a little weight from my words. Truthfully, I could not think of a single thing I could do for him in the small amount of time we had left, but whatever occurred to him, I would do it. Because listening to him and seeing him like this, so hopeless but still striving to walk forward, was too much for my heart to bear.

Lucas tilted his head, seemingly giving it some real thought. After a while, he nodded. “Alright then. Can I ask for one thing in exchange, right?”

“Yes, just ask away!”

“Then…” he pursed his lips, and even though it was dark I could swear I saw… red? “Ehm, you see. It’s a little embarrassing to say but… now that I’m going to die I realized… well…” he drifted off, taking his eyes off me. I frowned, suddenly getting a bad feeling.

“What? Say it at once, will you!”

“…” he took a gulp of air before finally saying. “Is it alright if we kiss? Dying without ever kissing a girl would be so pathetic!"

“…”

We stayed in silence for a moment longer, me staring at him and Lucas looking at the bed sheets as if it were the most interesting thing in the world.

Finally, I grabbed the pillow next to me and started hitting him until my own blush was gone.