“What brings you up here?” Jacques asked in surprise.

Adrian gazed at him, noting the way the moonlight gleamed off his black hair and reflected in the deep brown eyes. He cleared his throat. “Couldn’t sleep. What about you?”

“Yeah, me neither.”

“What happened to that guy you were with?” He tried to hide the jealousy in his tone.

Jacques shrugged, making his way over and sitting beside him. “You know me. Not much luck with men.”

“Oh. That’s too bad.”

“Eh.” He waved his hand dismissively. “I’ve gotten used to it.” 

There was silence.

“So, why can’t you sleep?” Adrian asked, staring out at the city again.

“It’s... the same old stuff.”

“Your parents?”

There was a pause. “I just can’t seem to move past what happened. It’s better than it was several days ago, but it still feels so raw, like it just happened.” Jacques clenched his jaw as his eyebrows furrowed slightly. “I thought I’d finally fucking moved past letting them affect me, but apparently not.”

“I think anyone would be upset. I was upset, and I’d never even met your parents before.”

Jacques considered him then exhaled quickly before glancing away again. “I know I’ve been distant this last week, Ian, and I’m sorry for that.”

“There’s no need to apologize.”

“I like who I am, who I chose to be after leaving them,” he propped a hand under his chin, “but seeing them again, it was like all that progress just disappeared. It felt like I was back living in their shitty house again, unable to leave.”

“Your progress didn’t disappear, Jacques. You’re still you, at least, the you I know anyway.”

He smiled out of the corner of his mouth. “Thanks.”

“Of course.”

There was a pause.

“Well, enough about that. What’s bothering you?”

Adrian blinked over at him. “W-who says I’m bothered?”

He snorted. “Well, other than the fact that your face reveals everything you’re thinking, you usually can’t sleep when something’s troubling you.”

“I’m that easy to read, huh?”

“Ohhh, yeah.” Adrian couldn’t help but grin at that. “Do you want to talk about it?”

The expression melted and he gave a small exhale. “You know, my life before this was very different. I was never really allowed to be myself or do things for myself. Everything was for the sake of the, um, family, so I grew up with very set roles. I wasn’t allowed to be anything except what they told me to be, and because of that, I don’t really know who I am. I don’t know how to not be a leader or a symbol for others. I don’t know how to do things just for me or choose things that only I want or...” someone that I want, he finished in his head.

“Or?” Jacques repeated.

Blue eyes met brown. “I’m afraid to open up too much. Last time I shared everything with someone, it was Madi, and well, you know how that went. I don’t want to get hurt again. I hate exposing myself.”

“I understand that. You know though, the more you open up to the right people, the more freeing it is, and then you can move on with your life and not carry so much shit around.”

Adrian looked him over, raising an eyebrow. “This from experience or something?”

He exhaled a laugh. “Yeah, it is.” The silence settled again until Jacques broke it. “Madi really fucked you up, huh?”

He nodded, his eyes still on the city. “I’ve moved on though, so it’s just something to learn from now, I suppose.”

“What?” Jacques exclaimed, and Adrian glanced over to see a perplexed expression. “You got over her?”

He blinked at the reaction. “Yes. I threw out her flowers like you said and everything.”

“When was that?”

“A while ago. Oh, it was on my birthday.”

“It’s been that long? What made you finally get over her?”

A smirk spread over his face. “Guess I realized three years of pining was finally enough.”

He snorted. “You really get worked up over women, huh?”

He shook his head, chuckling. “Who says it’s just women?” It took about half a second for all the blood to drain from Adrian’s face as he realized what he’d said. There was silence, then he added, “Uh, f-forget I said—”

“Is it not just women?” 

“I-I don’t know,” he lied quickly. “I’m still figuring that out.” By this point, Adrian knew that his feelings for Jacques were anything but fleeting, but he wasn’t about to admit that out loud and certainly not to the man himself. 

There was a pause.

“Well, that’s okay,” Jacques said gently. “You don’t need to figure it out now. There a reason you’ve been considering men?” 

He swallowed. “Oh, it’s just something Zuri said. They told me I can be attracted to both men and women, and I suppose I never realized that was an option.”

“You didn’t?”

He shook his head. “Sad, I know, but love where I’m from is so formal. I never explored anything with anyone.” He let out a short humorless laugh. “It’s kind of pathetic. I’m twenty-four and just barely figuring these things out about myself.”

“It’s not pathetic.”

He turned to him. “Jacques, you have so much experience. I can’t even speak properly when people give me attention. You saw what that woman at that bar did to me. I couldn’t even tell her my name.”

Jacques laughed. “I think it’s endearing.”

“You do?”

“Yeah. It’s alright to take your time. I may have had a lot of experiences, but I regret most of them. Just ‘cause I’ve had a lot, doesn’t mean they were any good.”

Adrian hummed a note of understanding. “I never really thought of it that way.”

He patted him on the back. “Don’t worry so much about it and just be yourself.”

“Yeah... thanks.”

A lot was going through his head then, but the main thought that permeated was that, if he really wanted to know how Jacques felt about him, he should first be honest about one thing.

He inhaled, opening and closing his mouth a few times before actually speaking. “Actually Jacques... I lied.” There was a moment of bated silence as the other man watched him curiously. Adrian exhaled, looking up and meeting the brown-eyed gaze. “I’m definitely attracted to men.”

Jacques’s eyes widened. “You are?” He nodded, and the dark eyes did not leave his face. “Are you...” He hesitated for a moment. “Are you attracted to me?”

Without meaning to, Adrian made the tell-tale gesture that confirmed the answer to that question: he bit his lip and looked away, turning his head back to the city lights.

“Ian?” The name fell off Jacques’s tongue in barely a whisper.

He couldn’t stand to look at him, his face flushing a deep red. Why couldn’t he have just kept his mouth shut? Had he ruined everything? Surely the experienced lover wanted nothing to do with a pining virgin.

Two bronze fingers touched his pale chin as Jacques turned Adrian’s head to face him. Their eyes locked, and the blond found himself lost in a sea of swirling brown.

 “Can I kiss you?”

Adrian’s eyelashes fluttered, his heart leaping up into his throat. “Y-yes,” he replied in barely above a whisper.

The mesmerizing orbs flitted down to his mouth. Looking down as well, Adrian gave a soft inhale then allowed his eyes to slide shut as the face came closer to his own.

The kiss was gentle, the lips brushing over his own in a sensation that was so strange and yet so exquisite, it made his stomach do an excited flip flop. After a stunned couple of seconds, Adrian cautiously moved his lips against the others’, heat spreading from his cheeks all the way to his ears.

When he’d barely gotten familiar with the man’s taste, Jacques pulled back, searching his face. “Are you alright?” he asked quietly. “How was tha—”

Before he could finish, Adrian leaned forward, finding his mouth again with his own.

Jacques lightly hummed in response, kissing him back as his arms slowly slid around his neck. Adrian found the slim waist with his hands as he breathed in the unique scent. Every thought and every breath was just in anticipation of each next new sensation. The kisses soon slowed to something short and small until they were pulling apart.

Adrian exhaled quickly, lightly stroking the bronze cheek while beaming into his face. 

Those same cheeks had a light rouge in them. “Stop smiling like that, you idiot.”

He chuckled, their faces only a breath away. “I’ve... never kissed anyone before.”

“You haven’t?” He searched his face in disbelief. “How is that even possible? You have admirers everywhere we go.”

“Ha, well, that’s true, but there wasn’t exactly much romantic opportunity at the cast—” He froze, then pulled back suddenly.

“At the what?” Jacques asked incredulously, his arms slipping from Adrian’s shoulders. “Were you about to say, castle?” Adrian’s silence and shocked expression seemed to answer that question. “You lived at a castle?” he whispered, the gears turning behind his eyes. “Did you work there or something? No, that can’t be right. You’re... a royal, aren’t you?”

He glanced away. “Jacques, stop.”

“Holy fuck, you are! Are you a-a duke or a prince?” His eyes widened with realization. “That’s why you were courting a princess. Who... are you?”

The king let out a pained sigh. “I can’t tell you that.”

There was a hand on Adrian’s shoulder, and he looked up. “Why not? Do you not trust me?”

He considered him, spotting the freshly kissed lips. “Of course, I trust you, that’s not what it is. It’s... complicated.”

“I of all people should understand. You know about my magic. I’ve never told anyone the things I told you about my parents. Do you realize how much trust I had to have in you to divulge that?”

“I know.”

“So why can’t you tell me?” The hand slid down to rest on his upper arm. “I haven’t been pestering you for answers at all, not even when Carnadine first started tailing us again.”

“I know, I know, and I really appreciate that, but this... I can’t.”

Jacques considered him, then let go. “You weren’t ever planning on telling us, were you?”

“You wouldn’t see me the same way ever again if I told you. I’m trying to put that part of me behind me. That life... I don’t want you to see me differently because of it. I don’t want to go back to my old home after this quest. I want to be here. I want to stay with you guys. I want to be with you.” He placed his hand over Jacques’s. “I’m just afraid that who I am would ruin that.”

He was met with a conflicted expression. “I don’t understand. I feel like I know you so well, Ian, but at the same time, not at all.”

“I know. I want to tell you, Jacques—”

“Then tell me,” he insisted in a whisper, getting closer, and Adrian’s heart fluttered.

Searching the familiar face, he sighed. “I can’t.” Something flashed across Jacques’s face as he looked away. “It’s not because I don’t trust you, or care about you or... or think about you night and day.” He touched Jacques’s cheek, making the shorter man look up at him in slight surprise.

“You really feel that way about me?”

“Yes,” he said without hesitation. “Ever since... well, ever since Hauteland.”

“For that long?”

“You... you feel the same way about me, right?”

Jacques gave him a look. “Well, yeah. I’ve struggled with feelings for you basically since we first met.”

He stared, his hand falling to his side. “Really?”

He laughed. “Yeah. I thought you only liked women though. It was agony whenever we were together and I thought you felt nothing in return, but well, guess I was wrong.”

They had gotten close again as Adrian gave a small exhale. “Yeah, you were very wrong.” His eyes shamelessly found Jacques’s mouth and the man was blinking down as well.

“Ian... you don’t have to tell me who you are. It hurts that you won’t, but I can’t force you.” There was a pause, then he added with a quick exhale, “So you can stop giving me that look.”

“Sorry,” he said hastily, looking away.

Jacques lifted his chin with one finger. “Hey.” Blue eyes snapped onto brown. “I think about you all the time too.”

“You do?” he asked softly.

He grinned in response, then gently stroked a thumb over Adrian’s chin before kissing him.

 

🗲🗲🗲

 

Adrian sat at a tavern table the next morning, engrossed in the Alchemist journals. He was reading Volume II while the other two books were strewn about the table along with their breakfast. Zuri sat to his left and Andre to his right, while Jacques had yet to wake up and come downstairs. 

Zuri took Volume I, looking it over. “Why is the cover all lumpy on this one?” they asked.

The blond didn’t look up. “I don’t know. Maybe the binding is a little different?”

“It feels layered or something.” They began picking at it and some of the leather binding peeled off with a ripping sound.

“Woah, hey!” Adrian tried swiping for it. “You’re ruining it!”

Zuri moved the journal out of his reach, picking more of it off. “Just wait! I think there’s something inside.”

“Don’t rip it!” He swiped again.

“I wanna check something.” Without hesitation, the inventor took out a small knife and began cutting the cover.

“Zuri, what the hell!”

“Zuri, give him his journal back,” Andre said calmly but the inventor didn’t even look up from their work.

“Ha! There’s a letter inside,” they said triumphantly. “Tsk! It’s in Elden though.”

His jaw dropped. “What?” He snatched the piece of paper out of their hand and unfolded it.

“What does it say?” they asked.

Blue eyes recognized the familiar handwriting at once. “M-Mother...”

“It’s from your mom?”

“It says, Aveline claims the Totrium is too dangerous to open, but this device will open Elderian to so many possibilities, it is worth it. People have been waiting for this moment for centuries, and I feel it is my destiny to open it and launch us into a new era. This can only be for the greater good. If for any reason I am unable to complete the work, the incantation to open the Totrium with the accompanying gem key is...” He read out an ancient Elden word that left Zuri grimacing. 

“Say the word before placing the gem key and it should open. I am hoping that’s what will happen, anyway. I wish Aveline was here to open it with me, but she made her choice and I’ve made mine. I will return to Elden Town and there, my destiny awaits.”

There was silence.

“Not quite the destiny she was expecting,” Zuri mumbled after a moment, and Andre kicked them under the table.

“Who do you think Aveline is?” Adrian asked, ignoring the comment.

“Who knows,” Zuri said after making a face at Andre. “Whoever she is, she didn’t want your mom to open the Totrium.”

He folded the letter and put it back into the now sliced-open pocket. “Well, thanks for gashing open my journal, I guess.”

They snorted. “Any time, Buddy. My genius is always available whenever you need it.”

He made a face, then the expression fell when he spotted Jacques approaching their table, his heart stopping for a moment. 

When the leader sat down across from him, they made eye contact and a heat rose to his pale cheeks. Adrian gave a shy smile then glanced away for a second before looking back to see a truly smug look on Jacques’s face.

“D’you sleep well, Ian?” he asked, and the blond could barely hold his gaze without feeling completely overwhelmed. 

“Oh, uh, yeah. You?”

“Not a wink,” he said without hesitation, leaning slightly over the table with a hand under his chin. “I couldn’t stop thinking about last night.”

“Jacques, gross!” Zuri exclaimed, shooting Adrian a pitying look. “You don’t need to brag about your fucking sexual escapades you’ve had with the random men you find at bars.” 

“Who said that’s what I was referring to?”

The blond pretended to be reading one of the journals now, his face a shamefully deep red. 

“Unbelievable...” they muttered. “Ian, why don’t you fill our shameless leader in on the new information we found?”

He blinked, having temporarily forgotten about his mother’s letter. “Oh, right!” He flipped to the front cover and pried the letter out of the torn pocket, his face returning to its normal color. “There was a hidden message in the journal my mother owned. Here, read it.” He handed it across the table to Jacques who looked down at it curiously.

“Uh,” he raised an eyebrow at it. “Is this... Elden? Ian, you know I can’t read.”

“Oh, right.” He quickly exhaled, saying, “I forgot,” and snatched it back.

“How could you forget?”

The blue eyes were over the page. “I was distracted.”

“Hm. By what, I wonder...” 

Adrian looked up to see that same flirtatious look on his face and a sly little smile hidden at the corner of his mouth. 

Clearing his throat, and ignoring that hot feeling in his face again, Adrian smoothed the page out. “Anyway... I’ll read the letter now.” Without further delay, he read it aloud again, this time not paying any attention to the words as he felt the leader’s eyes on him.

“It requires an incantation as well?” Jacques asked, visibly mulling over the information. “Well, I’m glad we learned this now and not later. Not sure what would have happened if we tried opening the Totrium with just the gem key.”

“How do we know it doesn’t require something else on top of those two things?” Zuri asked.

“We don’t, but I have a feeling it’s nothing else. The relics don’t usually require more than that. We’ll just have to find out.”

“My mother really wanted whatever this thing was to work,” Adrian said, letting out a small sigh. “I hope it’s worth it.”

“It will be,” he assured. “We’re going to finish this quest, Ian, and then from there...” Their eyes met. “Maybe we can decide where we want to go from there.” Jacques considered him, then gave a small wink.

He blinked. What was the leader suggesting? “After the quest?” he repeated.

“That’s right.”

“Have you decided if you’re going to stay with us?” Andre asked, and Adrian turned his head to look at him.

“More or less.” He swallowed, knowing Antoine would kill him if he were here to hear his next answer. “I think I’ll stay.”

“Wooohooo!” Zuri cried out, throwing an arm around his shoulders. “That’s what I’m talking about! Best. Teammate. Ever. I’m not even ashamed to admit it. The rest of you pale in comparison.”

Jacques folded his arms. “Thanks, Zuri.”

“You’re welcome!”

Andre patted him on the back. “So glad you’re staying. I have so many new recipes to teach you.”

Adrian couldn’t help but beam under all the positive attention, his face in a big smile, though a small guilty tug pulled at his heart. “I can’t wait.”

“I’m still in awe you haven’t thrown him out of the kitchen yet,” Zuri commented, their arm sliding off his shoulders. “He really hasn’t cross-contaminated the raw meat with the vegetables or anything?”

Adrian gave a small gasp. “I would never! That would be breaking a cardinal rule!”

Jacques threw back his head and laughed. “Andre has you fully indoctrinated and everything.”

He grinned at him. “I haven’t seen you once complain about the meals I’ve made, so I’d say it’s working.”

“And to think you were telling me just last month that you were graduating from burning things.”

He shrugged. “I’m a quick study, what can I say?”

“Yeah...” He gave him the smuggest of all smirks, his eyes flicking down and up at Adrian’s mouth. “You are.”

Something flashed over Adrian’s face along with a bashful rouge. He glanced away quickly, hearing the leader chuckle.

“You seem to be in a much better mood today, Jacques,” Zuri noted, looking him over. “Did something happen recently? It’s like someone came and erased all your moodiness from the past week. Don’t tell me last night you finally found someone special and not just some empty one-night stand.”

Adrian was surprised to see a small blush fill Jacques’s cheeks as well. “Yeah, something like that.”

Zuri shook their head. “I am both happy and disgusted for you, Sir.”

The blond had his nose in the book again, attempting to hide his own rouge.

 

🗲🗲🗲

 

As Zuri cleaned the ship’s upper deck of all the blood and carnage still left from their latest Carnadine run-in, Jacques steered the ship and Andre started on lunch while Adrian put all the supplies bought in town away in the pantry. 

Only Adrian could be trusted with such a task, since everything had a very specific place, and according to Andre, “The others don’t respect my organizational system.”

There were boxes and bags stacked in a pile right outside the pantry. Adrian picked up several large bags of rice, piling them up in his arms before turning to the entryway. That’s when he spotted Jacques and stumbled slightly, the top bag sliding off.

Jacques caught it. “Woah, careful.”

“Thanks.” He entered the pantry and stacked the rice on the bottom shelf.

Jacques put the one that’d fallen on top of the others. “Let me help you out with the rest.”

His cheeks felt hot. “Oh, you don’t have to.”

“Oh, but I want to.”

Adrian considered him, then put a hand on his hip. “Fine, but don’t let Andre know you’re helping me, or he’ll never let me near the pantry again.”

He snorted. “Yeah, you’re probably right.” He walked out to the stacks of things and took a bushel of fruit as Adrian grabbed a few jars of spices. 

Placing them on the middle shelf, Adrian turned to see Jacques crouching in front of the bottom row on the opposite wall. “No, no, no,” he scolded, pointing to the upper shelf. “They go up there.”

“Eh?” Jacques made an offended sound.

He exhaled quickly, making his way over. “Here, you probably can’t reach it anyway...” He took the fruit from his hand and stretched up to place it on the top shelf.

“Are you making fun of my height?”

Adrian chuckled, turning back to him, and that’s when he realized how close they were. The pantry was relatively small. In the center was a large barrel that touched the back of Adrian’s heel as he tried to give the smaller man more room, but they were somewhat boxed in.

“Um...” He could feel his face heating up, and Jacques smirked.

“I’ve never met someone so confident and yet so terribly bashful at the same time,” he mused, tracing a gentle finger over Adrian’s cheek. 

“Is that bad?”

He quirked a smile. “No.”

“Jacques?” Adrian asked softly, taking the hand from his face and holding it in his own.

“Hm?”

“You mentioned that we’d discuss what happens after the quest. You were talking about us too, right?” 

“I may have been, yes.”

“A-and... the kiss we shared last night...” His words trailed off as he struggled to get his thoughts together.

“If I recall, it was multiple.” He gave a teasing grin as Adrian blushed in response. “What about it?”

“What do the kisses mean?”

He considered him, then tucked a stray piece of hair behind Adrian’s ear. “Whatever you want them to, Sweetheart.”

That nearly made Adrian give up the ghost then and there. It took him a few seconds to compose himself, before he said, “I want them to mean something, but I don’t want to make you feel tied down or keep you from being with other men.”

Jacques blinked in slight surprise. “Ian...” He slid his arms around his neck and Adrian’s hands slipped over the waist. “I may be quite flirtatious as a single man, but I’d commit to you and only you if that’s what you want as well.”

Adrian was getting lost in those dark brown eyes as he said, “Yes, I want that,” then leaned down and kissed him. Jacques blinked for a moment before closing his eyes and sighing into his lips.

The kisses started out slow and gentle, then Jacques was pushing him up against the barrel, and his head swam. Adrian wrapped his arms as tightly as he could around the slim body, drowning in this man’s scent and touch.

Someone cleared their throat beside them. “Can I grab something off the shelf?” Andre’s voice sounded.

The two men broke apart, chests heaving as they both looked over at the tall man standing right there beside them. 

Adrian’s face flushed as he darted out of the way to let him pass. “A-Andre! Of course. Go ahead.”

“Thanks.”

They watched in silence as Andre grabbed a few items and promptly made his way out.

Jacques placed a hand on his brother’s arm to stop him. “Andre...” The man hummed a note in response. “Don’t tell Zuri.”

He considered him. “Of course not, though, you may want to be more discreet then.” A sly grin spread over his face.

Jacques’s cheeks turned red. “Yeah, okay. Thanks for the advice.” He shoved his arm, and Andre chuckled before leaving the room. 

 

🗲🗲🗲

 

With the ship lying dormant and out of sight behind a mass of boulders just a few miles outside the town of Lacot, the team watched as Zuri inserted their little extending drill into the ground.

Unable to tap into the underground water flow, they removed the device and tried again in a different location. 

Jacques let out a sigh as he leaned up against one of the massive rocks. “Zuri, you’ve been at this for an hour. We might as well just go into town for water.”

“No! I’ve almost got it!”

He groaned. “We have money now, remember?”

Without looking up from their work, they tiffed. “Even with money, getting water is a nightmare, and we are less likely to be discovered by Carnadine out here than in town, especially a town this small.”

Adrian, who was sitting on the ground with his back to one of the rocks, asked, “You really think she’d be anywhere near us after the jumps Jacques’s been doing?”

They paused to give him a pointed look. “We’ve discussed this, Ian. That woman is fucking insane. Don’t underestimate her abilities.” They found a spot on the sand and started the device. A whirring noise sounded as the little drill dug into the ground. “This should be it—” There was a swoosh sound and water began pouring out the top. The inventor quickly capped the device with a turn of a lever to stop the flow, giving a loud whoop. “We’re in business, lads! Hurry, get the barrels ready!”

The aforementioned men scrambled for the barrels that’d been previously rolled out, hooking the homemade tubing up to them. Zuri grabbed their end, tugging on it before a frown crossed their face. 

“It’s caught on something,” they said. “Shit, it’s under the ship. We must have deactivated it right on the water lines. Jacques, could you turn it back on real quick?”

“That’d be a waste of time,” he said, standing up straight and facing the vessel. “I can get it unstuck just fine from here.” He held out a hand, inhaling as he did. “Be ready to pull the line out.”

There was a moment’s hesitation before his eyes flashed green and he raised the hand upwards. The ship was surrounded with green light and slowly began to rise into the air. Andre yanked the tubing free, and the vessel was lowered back down.

Zuri turned the lever and water gushed through the tubing and into the barrel it was attached to. “Thanks, Jacques!”

“Y-you’re a magic user.”

The group whipped around to see an older woman standing behind them with a surprised look on her face, pointing to Jacques.

“Oh, shit,” the leader mumbled.