Two Lives
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The sprawling green land was glorious from high up in the sky. Between the fluffy clouds the sun bathed everything below in warm light, and the snowy mountain tops glittered. I could just about see the blue rivers on the land weaving like branches all the way to the oceans. I never got bored of seeing it all.

Most of my time was spent diving around giant clouds bursting with water or soaring higher and higher until the land below became smaller than my beak, and other lands far away of green and brown came into view. I hadn’t ever flown that far before, a deep pull kept me to the same patch of skies. It was lonely sometimes, but I didn’t mind, as the lands beneath me were fascinating. I knew little about them, and ever so often I’d fly closer to try and glean more knowledge. However, the lives of suzaku weren’t easy. The great vermillion bird of the skies, wings spreading wide, so much that we could block sunlight if we flew high enough. But flying low, was a different matter. Even the youngest suzaku were too big to fly low to the lands.

In the past it had been attempted, a brave suzaku had circled lower until the tips of his wings brushed against tree-filled mountain tops, setting them ablaze, and in return he’d frightened the beings down there. The sun god herself, Amaterasu, had intervened, banishing him back up where we belonged. She’d bestowed two things before she left, to sate his curiosity. The beings below were called humans, the same form which she took, and our role was to protect them with our great wings. Up here we kept the skies clear, and only shared it with the gods residing in their sky castle.

I’d been told the story as a small suzaku and it’d always stayed with me. And now, it was all I could think about. Every time I flew I found myself edging closer to the lands to catch a peek of something new. I wanted to see them too, the humans, living down there between the land trees.
The other suzaku had noted my attempts at getting closer, following me in secret. I’d thought I’d been alone all this time until they summoned me to the great sky tree.

Not far from the god’s sky castle spread the biggest tree in the skies; bare branches spread wide, their leaves had dropped centuries ago. I’d landed down on the rocky expanse it clung to, looking up at the elders. Four of them perched on the thick branches, their wings now too old to carry them far.

“You know the rules, we cannot stray too close to the lands. You’re a being of fire, you remember what happened in our past.” The oldest suzaku spoke firmly, there was no ignoring his words. His red feathers now grew white from age, and none of us knew exactly how old he was. “You cannot get close to them. We are not like them. Stay up here where we belong.”

But that was precisely the point. I knew what we were, I knew all the other birds in the sky, from the cranes to the sparrows, but I didn’t know anything about the humans.

I’d flown away disheartened, trying to ignore the pull in my mind to go searching once again. Instead of flying lower, I kept on to the furthest reaches I’d ever been. Further than the last sky tree, where the oceans spread out far. And now this is where I stayed, alone, watching below as the lands changed. Trees grew greener as seasons passed until the snow blanketed the land again. It fell from the thick clouds around me, plummeting down on the humans.

Now the warm sun drowned itself in the seas of the world once more, bringing darkness to the sky. It would return again soon enough, birthing from the waters anew. In the meantime, I planned to go in search of the closest sky tree. The sun’s power was weaker during this season, and I couldn’t fly as long without resting; when day broke the rays would boost my energy so I could fly again.

Other suzaku had flown south to chase after heat but I preferred the cold of the winter. I loved the chill along my feathers, the biting iciness threatening to seize my muscles and send me downwards. Some days, it was almost tempted to let happen.

In the darkness, the bright moon shone a cold light. It was higher up in the sky than I’d ever flown, but many had tried to reach it. Every suzaku who tried had failed, giving in to exhaustion long before they got close. Some had even died to the folly, their lifeless bodies dropping out of the sky. Now the elders forbid it because of danger, and fear the gods would return to punish us.

“Suzaku.”

A deep voice called in the air, riding along a zephyr of wind. I scanned around for the source, but in the vast open night sky I was alone. Even the clouds had vanished.

“Suzaku.”

I flapped my wings harder, panic rising. Was there a hidden suzaku out there? Suddenly the moonlight brightened, white light blinding, forcing me to close my eyes. I relied on wind currents against my feathers to keep me afloat. It wouldn’t keep me safe for long; I had to see again.

Eventually, the light seemed to dim behind my eyelids, so I tried cracking them open. The moon and its light had returned to normal. I opened my eyes fully and paused. Now in the skies, bathed in moonlight, hovered a strange wingless figure. His black body merged with the night, only illuminated by the moon. Was this a god, one with the same form as humans? I stared incredulously as next to him grew a sky tree from nothing, dark branches spreading out wide and leafless.

Definitely a god.

What had I done wrong?

“Perch here,” the creature said in the same voice that rode the wind before. “I want to talk to you.”

Now I had a decision. I knew better than to trust strange creatures, especially ones which appeared in the sky, but… if he was a god, I couldn’t ignore him.

I knew the other suzaku would be furious; they’d scold me again and again for not flying away, however, curiosity got the better of me. I circled the newly formed sky tree before slowing my wing beats and approaching. The branches were wide enough for me to land and tuck my wings snug against my body. Almost too perfect. Sky trees always grew wild and made nesting difficult.

“Who are you?” I demanded. “What are you? What is this place?”

“My name is Tsukuyomi, god of the moon.” The deep voice called to me. “I reside in its light. The form I take is human, as I have many people who I guide down on the lands of Yamato. I made this tree so that we may speak, if you’ll allow me.”

Tsukuyomi floated up and joined me on the sky tree, choosing a smaller branch. I could see him better now, his face was flat and round like the moon, and his black body was covered in grey patterns, and even sparkled at the edges. It was amazing that unlike suzaku, he had no wings! I wanted to just reach out and peck at where his feathers should be, seeing what actually was there. I almost did until I met his eyes which were small and black, but pierced their way through me. From them, I could sense no animosity, so I relaxed a little.

“Great suzaku of the skies, protector of the lands beneath, of Yamato. I’ve watched you all for so long, watched how my sister scolded your curiosity and love for below. Yes, suzaku are large, filling the skies with your wings, but that shouldn’t stop you from exploring what is dear to your hearts. How can you protect what you don’t know? It’s only natural that you want to know more.”

“It’s safer up here,” I parroted the elders. “We can’t hurt or frighten the humans.”

“This may be true, or just my sister’s words. But even gods can be wrong. Great suzaku, gods have many gifts, powers over nature. I can change the moon as I see fit, I can create what I wish, and… I could help you. Do you want to go and see the humans? Without the issues you worry about. That’s not outside of my powers.”

“Help me?” I mulled over his words. I couldn’t deny that I still wanted to get closer to the humans, to learn more, but would I have to forsake my form now? It was all I knew…

Tsukuyomi moved closer and reached out to my deep red feathers, touching them lightly. I froze. How dare he touch me, a suzaku? We ruled the sky! In anger, I pecked him! My beak tapped against his chest, pushing him away. And yet, he didn’t move. He kept his connection, and from his touch came a warmth that spread around my body. A warmth that soothed my muscles, my insides, my mind. I wanted to fear him, fear what was happening to me, but a calmness washed over me.

“Here. Take this mere fraction of my power. Use it however you wish, whether that is going to visit Yamato or even making yourself immortal, whatever you desire. A gift to atone for my sister’s punishment.”

“Immortality?” I ruffled my feathers at him. “There is very little up here that can hurt me! Only age will take my life, eventually. You know this.”

“Perhaps, perhaps not.” He let go of me and floated again until his eyes met mine. “There are many gods, and not all of them have your best interests in mind. Nor mine.”

“And what do you get from this?” I said, narrowing my eyes at him. “Such a gift is never given lightly.”

“An alliance. I need protection, and who better to ask than the great sky protectors themselves. I offer you enough power to make many smaller choices, or a big one. That is your choice. Whatever you choose, I ask you help me when I need it, come when I call, and help me in the fight against my enemies. I will do the same for you. Call for me, and I’ll answer if I can.” I stared at him. “Don’t worry,” he added quickly. “I won’t be asking you for anything too big. I hoped suzaku could watch out for threats against me, against humans on Yamato.”

I’d never fought for anything before, how was I supposed to help a god?

“I… I’m used to being alone, I don’t know how to do what you need.” I glanced downwards at Yamato. He was offering all that I wanted.
“All you need to do is watch for now. I’ll explain more in time,” his voice soothed. “Wouldn’t you rather go see them, the humans?”

“Yes, but—”

“Then go see them. And find me once you have an answer,” Tsukuyomi said, nodding his head. “Or once you have used your gift.”

I froze as Tsukuyomi’s power pulsed through my veins. I could feel it, a great strength aching to be used. It wouldn’t take much to just reach for it and choose.
I looked down towards the green land below – Yamato, he’d called it. If I was a smaller bird I could flit around undetected, free to explore as I wished. A sparrow, that’s what I’d be. I wouldn’t dare changing into a human myself, the thought terrified me.

Pausing, I asked gently, “but what if I don’t like it? I won’t be able to change back.”

“Let me,” he said, reaching for me once more. “What do you want?”

“To be a sparrow.”

I want to see the humans.

One thought and the world changed. The branches of the sky tree now grew wider and climbed higher; the chill air which I normally loved along my wings now cut deep. I turned my head to look at myself and my red feathers were now a dappled brown. I was, indeed, a sparrow.

Tsukuyomi reached out to me once more, lifting me into his warm not-feathered appendage. I touched it with my now short beak. It certainly wasn’t a wing. In fact it was soft, softer even than the fluffy feathers that lined my belly.

“You’ll freeze at these heights like that.” Tsukuyomi said, his voice warm. “Up here is not suitable for a sparrow at all, even here in my hand. Let me help.”

He took his other not-wing-hand and brought them together, covering me in darkness.

This is help? I can’t escape! You tricked me!

I pecked at anything my beak touched, flapping my wings wildly trying to escape. Again and again I looked for any escape, trying to find even the smallest gap until I eventually stopped in an exhausted mess. I should have listened to the other suzaku. It was my fault for being too curious.

Tsukuyomi’s power still flowed through my body, however. I could feel it coursing around my veins. Should I use it to return to my true body? Was that a trick too?
Slowly, the darkness lifted and I shot into the air, beating my wings furiously. Away from my prison, I escaped into warm air that had lifted me up and up. I didn’t recognise anything. The clear sky was gone, as was Tsukuyomi. Now the sun rose and I was surrounded by so many strange shapes and smells and—

I crashed along the ground with a hard thump. I wasn’t used to such different wings. Quickly righting myself, I jumped up and looked around. My beloved skies were now up higher than I’d ever seen them. Am I…?

Once I’d calmed enough, I looked around again, now realising I must be down on Yamato. Tsukuyomi hadn’t lied at all. I was a fool.

But I was here! Down where the humans lived. There was so much to see, to smell, to hear, all of it was overloading my senses. There were trees down here too, full of leaves like new sky trees. And somewhere other birds called to one another, singing unrecognisable words. On the ground, crawling beings made their way through stalks of green. Another bird shot down from a tree, pecking at one of the crawling creatures, gulping it down its narrow beak.

Why would they do that? Did beings attack much more down here? I flew up into a tree for safety, just in case. The branches were as sturdy as sky trees, although were much straighter than the twisting ones in the sky. From here I could see more of them, as far as I could see. Perhaps this is where the sky trees came from? We certainly didn’t have this many, and more of them crumbled to nothing all the time.

I watched out for any birds coming close, not knowing if any were safe to be around. Now I was so much smaller, any of them could grab me. Was it foolish to turn into a sparrow? What if I came all this way just to be snatched away by claws and—

I really needed to find the humans, perhaps they could offer me protection. Though where they lived, I didn’t know; I didn’t see any here in the trees… I should have asked before leaving. Though, Tsukuyomi should still help me now, if he could hear me calling. Time to try.

“Tsukuyomi,” I called into the air. “Where are the humans?”

Silence.

I ruffled my feathers in annoyance. How was I supposed to navigate this strange world? He hadn’t told me anything about it.

A gust of wind rattled the branches. An eddy called to me, called to the power flowing through me. Tsukuyomi had heard me after all. Cautiously trusting him, I opened my wings and flew with the wind, letting it direct me somewhere new. It wound between trunks, until finally breaking into a clearing. I chirped with excitement; there were humans here! Flapping my wings, I broke away from the gust and perched on a pile of stone. I could see them closer now.
They were just like Tsukuyomi in form, they too didn’t have wings or a beak, but were able to move across the ground fine without them. Could they speak like Tsukuyomi too? Or did they sing and call just like birds?

I watched as they dipped in and out of something that looked similar to the god’s sky castle. I’d seen it from afar, not ever daring to get too close. Elder suzaku spoke of it being made of sky trees split into smaller pieces and remade into something stronger. Were these castles too? Would I be allowed in?

Flying closer, I followed one of the humans as they entered, keeping far enough away from them. As quietly as I could, I found the nearest perch high up, resting on some wood. It smelt almost similar to freshly broken branches. Perhaps the elders had been right, and humans split trees too.

Below, one human spoke to another who rested on the ground. This human was smaller in frame, and I guessed this was a female. She preened the one who rested on the ground and after a few moments, left the human castle. I took my chance to flit down to explore more, hopping around and brushing my beak against new textures.

“You’re sprightly.”

The human made a noise just like Tsukuyomi. It didn’t come out like the sing-song of other birds, but a deeper rasp. It reminded me of the wind when angry.

“But you might want to leave soon, or my wife will shoo you away,” he continued. “Though what harm can a sparrow do to a dying man?”

I paused. He didn’t sing like a suzaku but I could understand him easily enough. Mostly. I had no idea what a wife was, or a shoo. Could he understand me like Tsukuyomi? Or would that be another of the god’s powers?

I hopped a little closer, trying not to fly away in fear. Humans were much bigger this close.

“Hello,” I sang to him.

“Konnichiwa, sparrow-san.”

I jumped back. He replied to me! They could understand me!

“You can understand me?” I asked with wary excitement.

“I can,” he said again. “Which, I realise, isn’t something I have been able to do before. Huh, how strange. Have I truly lost my mind that I can now understand birds?”

The human turned to his side, facing me fully. I never thought I would see a human this close up! And he was so large! Although of course I would feel that way as a sparrow. If I was my true self I’d dwarf him.

“What’s your name, sparrow-san?”

My name? I had one of those long ago, when I was a hatchling. I’d spent so much time alone since then, I’d forgotten.

“I don’t have one. What’s yours?”

“Hotaka Wada. I’d bow to you, sparrow-san, but my body barely listens to me now. That’s why I lay here on my futon, watching the days go by.” What was bowing? And a futon? He did seem to be perching on something soft. “Excuse me, I’ve never spoken to a bird before. What can you tell me about the outside? I haven’t been strong enough to go out there for a while.”

“What is outside?”

Hotaka made an airy sound, and I could sense amusement from him. “Where the trees are, sparrow-san. And the rivers, and the mountains... Anywhere but in here.”

Truthfully, I couldn’t tell him much about the trees, or the other things he spoke of. I wasn’t even sure if I should speak of my home so far up in the sky. So instead, I spoke of what I knew best.

“The sky is bright today, and a chill rides along the wind. It coats my feathers and tries to sink deeply, however I keep it away.”

“Is that so,” he said, moving his head up and down slightly. “The nurse told me it will snow today. She can feel it in the air. Make sure you have somewhere warm to go.”

Snow. It fell up in the sky also, the flakes drifting down from the clouds in soft patterns. Sometimes I dipped through the clouds so the frost lined my feathers.

“Do you like the snow?”

Hotaka was quiet before he answered me. “I used to, as a child. I loved playing in it, throwing it around. It was magical back then. Now, though, the cold seeps into my bones. The flesh on them is wasting away. I can’t keep warm any more.”

I thought to the elder suzaku, the ones with duller feathers who couldn’t fly as long. Was this what happened to humans when they grew older? I wasn’t sure.

“Hotaka, you seem to have a new visitor.”

I looked up as the other human neared, from down here I could see her round face and in her carrying something in her non-wings Tsukuyomi had called hands.

“Sorry, you need to leave now, little sparrow. My husband needs to eat.”

“Don’t shoo it away,” Hotaka said to her, annoyed. “At least let it stay up in the rafters.”

“Not today,” she replied. “The room needs to be clean. What if it’s droppings end up in your rice?”

He grumbled. “Come back, sparrow-san. I want to hear more of the outside.”

Before I could reply to him, the female waved her hands at me, and I hurried back out the opening I’d entered from. She didn’t stop until I was back out into the open air and I was left confused. Was that the shoo? I didn’t understand. I wanted to go back to Hotaka.

I knew she would wave again if I tried to go near again so I flew back to the safety of the trees. Hotaka had wanted to know more about this outside, so before I went back to him, I’d learn more. And maybe then the other human wouldn’t send me away again. Even suzaku didn’t force others away when new information was shared.

The sky was darker now, with thick clouds blanketing the view above. It was harder to see now but with beating wings I soared up higher, rising far above the trees. Yamato was so different from my home, the sounds, the smells, I was excited to explore it all, to experience so much more than the skies I’d grown bored of. How long had Tsukuyomi been watching me? Had he truly known what I yearned for and sought me out?

His words had been confusing, and I wasn’t sure what kind of threats he had to watch for. What if they came for me before he told me who or what they were? Here in the sky I saw other birds, but they certainly were no threat to a god. And the humans… Maybe they weren’t to be trusted after all. But, I was intrigued by Hotaka. He didn’t seem like a threat, and surely it would be safe to see him again. And if it came to it, I’d use Tsukuyomi’s gift and return to my true form.

By the time night fell, I’d flown the whole area, mapping out the lands. I was far too excited to rest and had to see everything I could. Like Hotaka’s small castle, other humans had their own all grouped together. They each smelt different, aromas I’d never encountered before tickling my insides. Up in my home, the cold muted the few smells clinging to the sky trees, but down here in the warmth they filled me, and I almost couldn’t stand their power. I wanted to ask Hotaka about it.

I’d managed to find where he was again, Hotaka’s castle smelt strong of something I couldn’t place. I’d make sure to ask him about that too.

It’d been hard to navigate in the dusky twilight and I knew I couldn’t fly for much longer in the dark. In fact, I counted on it. The female surely wouldn’t push me away if I couldn’t go far. My stomach dropped as I returned to the opening. The female was there, kneeling on the ground and beside her was a small sun. They’d caught it from the sky and trapped it in something. Hopping down, I stared at it in awe. Humans were powerful.

“Oh! You’re back. Hotaka will be pleased. Do you like the light?” The female said, watching me. “I suppose lanterns must be confusing for little birds. Stay and keep warm.”

I stared at the lantern for a long time, even after the female left, enjoying the warmth and the feel of the light on my wings. I felt my energy returning, growing even stronger than I’d had before.

Eventually I wandered away from it, heading for Hotaka. He still lay in the futon, although hadn’t stirred, even when the female spoke to me.

“Hotaka?” I tweeted.

Breath came from him steadily and I hopped closer, inspecting him. His eyes were closed and I knew he had to be sleeping. Suzaku roosted in trees when it was too dark to see any more, falling into a soft sleep. Sometimes the younger ones woke up by falling from their branches, unused to getting the right spot to nestle into. Sleeping on the ground was clever too, as the wingless humans would just fall from trees.

Cautiously, I flitted even closer, landing on his hand to inspect it. Beneath my feet was softness and no feathers to be seen at all. No wonder humans couldn’t fly.

I jumped up higher and higher until my feet were planted on the top tuft above his face. There weren’t feathers here either, just a softness. I’d never seen anything like it. Even their faces were so different to suzaku, no beaks at all; in fact their whole face was much flatter and his eyes were right there together.

Hotaka stirred, a low grumble coming from inside. “Wha… goin… on…” His eyes popped open and I stared down at them. “Sparrow-san?”

“Yes.”

“What are you doing on my head?”

“Watching you.” He blinked a few times and made a strange amused rumble again. “I have never seen a human this close before.”

He shifted, moving back to his side, and I jumped back down.

“I’m glad you came back. Please don’t mind my wife Aimi, she is only trying to do what is best.”

I bobbed my head in agreement. I was glad to be back too. “I didn’t want to leave before. But I found many things on my travels, however. You asked to know about it.”

“I did,” Hotaka said, reaching out with his hand, brushing it gently against my feathers.

Hey hey! What was he doing? Just touching me like that! How could he just… but… Admittedly it did feel kind of nice. The brushing motion was soothing and I relaxed.

“So what did you learn?” he asked, still amused.

“It didn’t snow, not yet. But it will soon. There aren’t many birds around and I spotted other beings than humans I’ve never seen before. I didn’t understand so much and my mind is so full of questions.”

“You speak as if you’ve not lived in the forest your whole life.”

I ruffled my feathers, uncomfortable. What was I supposed to say to that? Was there any real point in lying?

“I… haven’t.”

“Huh?” Hotaka looked at me in confusion now. “Did you fly far from your home? Where are you from?”

“I come from the sky. Up higher than anyone can see. Up so high I watch the sun dip past the horizon and into the sea every night. I’m… not really a sparrow. I mean, I am right now, but that’s because I was given a gift. I’m a suzaku.”

Hotaka made another noise, drawing in the air around him. “A suzaku? But… Who gave you the gift?”

“His name is Tsukuyomi. I wanted to see humans, as I can’t see them from up where I live, and I’ve always been curious. He gave me a gift and I can use it how I want.”

“I knew you were special, sparrow-san, but to be blessed by a god… And now you are here.”

“I have learnt so much already, but there is so much I don’t understand.”

“Well then,” he said, nodding. “How about this, sparrow-san. If you tell me all about outside, all about what you’ve seen high in the sky, I’ll teach you about anything you want to know.”

“Really?” I hopped up and down with excitement. “I’d like that.”

“Tomorrow, though. It’s late now, and I’m tired. Sparrow-san, roost high where it’s warmest. Aimi won’t spot you there.”

I bobbed my head again. I didn’t think she’d shoo me away again, but I would, just in case. “Yes, I’ll do that.”

“Goodnight, sparrow-san.”

Flitting upwards, I found a cosy place to settle down and I ran through all I’d learnt so far.

*

It was the same the next day. I’d woken when the sun rose once more, and spent time talking to Hotaka before the wife shooed me away during his mealtime. She said I was too dirty. I’d ruffled my feathers at her for that. I was not dirty!

Unlike me, Hotaka and other humans needed to get their energy from eating. He’d explained all about food and how many other beings—animals—did the same. It had been fascinating.

During the day I continued to explore nearby, bravely going further each time. I checked out tall trees with bare branches, and spindly trees with thin prickly leaves, all so different from sky trees. I flew through the human village, checking out the castles which Hotaka called houses, and peered closer at other humans. And then once the sun disappeared again, I flew back to Hotaka and told him all about it.

He was thankful for all I told him, and in return I learnt a lot. Hotaka shared stories about the village he lived in, his wife, and all about the gods. He explained how he spent a lot of time sleeping as his body was sick and wasn’t getting better after he collapsed one day. The reason his house smelt different to the others was from all the medicines his wife gave Hotaka, trying to heal him. After that I watched him closer. I couldn’t tell a sick human from a not-sick human, and I was determined to figure it out.

Each day the air grew colder on my wings. Snow still threatened and I looked forward to seeing how it fell down here on the ground. Hotaka, however, grew quieter. I wondered if he was bored of laying in the futon every day, and decided to go out and find something to bring back for him this time. I was strong enough to carry something small, and I was confident in finding my way back.

“Sparrow-san,” he said quietly, just before I left him for my daily adventure. “Thank you for the company. You’ve been a good friend to me. Why don’t you go further today? Try to find more people to talk to.”

“I have a plan today,” I replied proudly. The day before I’d met with human hatchlings who promised to leave out a shiny rock for me. Today I’d fetch it to show Hotaka. He’d love it.

“Good,” Hotaka said, his breath light. “Goodbye, sparrow-san.”

I flew off as usual, wings beating fast against the chill air and soared around the village. Humans had all sorts of creations, and I knew Hotaka would love seeing something from the outside that he could keep beside him.

The sun was hiding behind clouds today. They stretched across the whole sky, thick and grey. After days of saying snow would fall, it looked like Aimi would finally be correct. In fact, it didn’t even wait until I’d flown for long at all. The first fat snowflakes dropped as I’d approached a house that was full of human hatchlings. They tickled as they touched my feathers, and I hurried. I’d never tried these new wings in wetter weather and I needed to make sure to stay warm enough.

I hoped the shiny stone would be easy to find. The human told me she’d leave it on a fresh tree stump near to her house. Lightning had struck the whole tree down, leaving a charred mess; the human liked it though, as the black remnants coloured her hands. As I weaved between houses, I looked for it in the dying light. The snow certainly made things more difficult, but even the worsening weather couldn’t keep me from my plan.

Despite the snow, the blackened stump came into view. I dove down to the ground, spotting the human hatchlings from before running around in the snow, waving their arms happily in the air. The shiny stone sat on the stump, alongside a pile of seeds and a twig. The young humans had left me more gifts, and I needed to make sure to come back and thank them when they weren’t busy. I didn’t think they could understand me as much as Hotaka could, but they enjoyed seeing me and had tried to touch my feathers just as Hotaka did. In fact, any human I tried to talk to struggled, yet Hotaka could understand me fine. I really couldn’t understand why.

I managed to grab the stone with my short beak and held on tight before taking off back into the freezing air. The snow was falling faster now, and it started to pile up on the ground. I’d seen it land on sky trees before, glittering in the sun after falling softly, but down here it was a muted soft white. Flakes landed on my head, covering my eyes, and I blinked to try and shake them off. I never realised how difficult it was to fly in snow down here; the flakes seemed to fall with animosity, striking me at any opportunity.

It wasn’t long before I had found my way back, despite the snow’s attempt to stop me, and I dipped back into where Hotaka lay. His wife always made sure to leave the door open just enough that I could fit through. I think she liked me too.
Landing on the ground beside his futon, I placed the shiny stone down on the ground. He wasn’t lying there now, but that was normal as sometimes his wife helped him try to move around. I’d wait right here for him to come back and show him his present. In the meantime, I shook my feathers to rid the snow, and warm up a little from the bitter cold.

“Ah, sparrow-san, you’re back,” Aimi said cheerily. “It finally snowed—w-what? Where’s Hotaka?”

Cheer vanished in a second as she almost threw the rice bowl in her hands to the floor and hurried out of the door. A horrible feeling filled my insides. There was still a lot I needed to learn about humans, but even I could tell something was really wrong.

Where could he be? He struggled to sit up and was more tired lately. Did another human take him to see outside? He always talked about it.

I shot out into the snow, soaring up as high as I could and scanned for him. In the snow he would stand out as his kimono was a dark grey today. But unlike suzaku, Hotaka could change them! What if he wore a white one? I would never find him in this snow.

I circled around and around trying to spot any sign of him, my panic rising. Maybe he had wanted to see the snow now that it had finally started to fall, there were trees nearby he could rest under and view… but would he really do that? I scanned the snow. It was falling so fast now, if he had disturbed it, flakes would have covered it over again.

I couldn’t see in this snow! It made me so angry and I just wanted to melt it all away. Anything to find my friend.

There.

A splash of grey marred the snow. I dove down and down, blinking away snow covering my eyes once more. I didn’t even try to land and barrelled into a pile of snow instead, jumping up to face him. I found Hotaka.

He looked different now, paler, except his lips which had changed to blue. His body shook and I knew he was so cold.

“There you are! What are you doing?”

“S-Sparrow-san… I t-thought you w-were going further.”

“I have a gift for you. Come back to your nest and I will show you.”

Hotaka shook his head. “No. I’m n-not going b-back.”

“But…”

“You’ve been a g-good f-friend, sparrow-san.”

I hopped up and down unsure what to do. It felt wrong.

Hotaka closed his eyes and I flittered up and pecked his face. “What are you doing?”

“I am not wasting away in a b-bed any longer. I’ll die out h-here in the s-snow. I’d use a b-blade, but I’m t-too cowardly.”

I let the snowy wind drop me back down as I felt a heaviness take over. Suzaku didn’t die often, but could roam for many years unless something took us. I couldn’t understand this. Was it another human thing?

“I don’t want you to die.”

Hotaka didn’t respond. His body had stopped shaking, and I could see only a light breath clouding the air. I felt so powerless, me, a suzaku, great vermillion bird of the skies. How did I have no—

“Hotaka! Hotaka!” I rushed back to his face, pecking him to wake up. “You don’t have to die! Maybe I can help.”

He hummed a reply and I took it as a yes. I would save my friend… though I wasn’t sure how. I thought back to Tsukuyomi’s words, how I could use the magical gift he bestowed on me. One big thing, he’d said. I never cared for immortality or anything like that. I cared for Hotaka.

Landing on Hotaka’s head I closed my eyes and called to Tsukuyomi, begging for my only wish to be granted.

Please. Save my friend.

*

The house was empty now. Not of belongings or memories, they were scattered everywhere. On the floor lay a folded up futon in the corner, and another sprawled out. Too much time had been spent in it, watching the sun rise and set and rise again. But, those weren’t quite my memories. Neither were the ones of soaring in the open skies, free and limitless. Our thoughts and feelings now melded, but often raged free at strong feelings. It felt as if our very souls were breaking free.

We were one now, Hotaka’s revitalised body and suzaku’s long life and magic. A gift which had given new life to the both of us. We could do anything now.

It had been a week since the day in the snow, since Aimi had been left behind. We let her believe Hotaka had died out in the snow, disappearing into the frozen air. He would have, if Tsukuyomi’s gift hadn’t worked.

Beside the messy futon lay a tantou sheathed in a wooden scabbard; its short blade still as sharp as the day it was honed. Aimi would notice it’s disappearance, and maybe she’d believe that somewhere Hotaka would be safe.

I’d keep him safe. I saved his life. And now we’d live to see many more snowfalls and sunrises.

A quick change of kimono and we were done here. I slid the tantou into the kimono front, keeping it close to our strong beating heart. I wasn’t sure what was next, only that we needed to find Tsukuyomi. Not only were we indebted to him, but there was the matter of his threats. Now with our joined mind I saw how Tsukuyomi had used my curiosity to make me help him, to protect him from enemies. I didn’t know how to feel about it. Without him there would be no… this. Whatever we were now.

Stepping out into the night, I followed the light of the moon away from the village until a shrine came into view. It was half-buried in snow and all offerings were frozen, however it would be enough for what I needed. Nobody would recognise Hotaka’s body out in the night, and if anyone looked in this direction, all they’d see is a traveller, face hidden under a bamboo kasa. The hat would keep us safe in the weather, also.

“Tsukuyomi,” I said, gently in the wind. “I call to you from this body, but you know me. I’m—”

“—the suzaku I gifted my power,” Tsukuyomi finished.

I turned around to see him standing in moonlight, his black kimono brushing against the snow.

“I see the sparrow wasn’t enough for you. Although I shouldn’t be surprised. I’ve never seen my power used like this before, but I have seen many use it to save others.”

I frowned. “Others? You’ve given your power out before?”

“Why are you surprised? Did you think you were the first?”

“I…” I never really thought about it before. He was right, I shouldn’t be surprised. “I’ve come to ask you about the threats. As you can see, I accepted your terms. I don’t know if this changes anything, as I can’t see things from high any more.”

Tsukuyomi watched me carefully before speaking again. “This form will need magic to survive. You’ll be of no use to me as my eyes right now, you’ll need to learn how to survive like this first. Go and explore the world, suzaku, and call for me when have learnt.”

“Hotaka,” I replied. “That’s my name.”

He smiled gently. “Try going south, Hotaka. I feel you’ll find some answers there.”

“South,” I repeated. “It’s been a long time since I went south.”

The moonlight dimmed, and along with it vanished Tsukuyomi, leaving me standing in the snow. I had answers for now though. We’d head south and learn this new body fully.

And together we’d keep on surviving.


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