'Well, that was Hell on my nerves,' he thinks as he steps out of his shadow and sits near the top of the Empire state. He also needs to remind himself to never travel through shadows once again. It's disgusting for one. Like traveling inside yourself. Also, it's dark. He hates the dark.

Well, at least he got what he wanted. Though something tells him the next meeting with Fury will bite him in the ass.

He takes out the phone from his inventory and is not surprised when it alerts him that someone is trying to trace him already. There's a cute picture of Rick's head moving from side to side while laughing. As it traces back to the destination and gives him a blueprint of the place, it says, "Hey, wanna give it a virus?"

He blinks twice. Now that he thinks about it, this was the first time he used Rick's phone since it finished upgrading. He has been concentrating on training and, besides giving it a look to see how much until it worked, he hasn't played with it before.

Now, he realizes that may have not been one of his best ideas.

"No, not giving SHIELD any virus. Please."

"Lame. Gonna still rob them bald of all their info, though. Bald like their director, get it?"

... Now he's worried.

"Are you an AI?"

"Bitch, please. Do I look like a simple AI? I'm intelligence pure, baby! Nothing artificial about it!"

"Aren't you on a phone though? Like, isn't that artificial enough?"

"Ugh. You're not a really smart cookie, amirite?"

"... Are you Rick's conscience or something?"

"Ding, ding! Give Rainbow Gasper a prize!" Oh Woah, he's a dick. Well, at least he doesn't burp like Rick. That would have been disgusting. "Though not really, but well, you're not smart enough to understand the details, so."

Then it burps.

Shit, he had jinxed it, didn't he?

"Anyway, I got all your info inside my processor. Seems like the knowledge you had was transferred to me when you turned me on. And not in a good way."

"What?!" he says, standing up. But Cellphone-Rick interrupts him.

"Like, it was super trippy and not in a good way, either. So far, nothing about you seems to be good for me, man. Or woman, I don't know. What are you? Not that I really care, but it would give me better ammunition to mock you."

'What the fuck system?!'

'You share all the important information and more between companions.'

'He's a companion?!'

'Artificial Intelligence.'

"Hey! I'm not an AI. I said it already, you shitty system!"

Feeling the headache growing, just knowing he's getting close to having an aneurysm. He turns his gaze to the A.I. and says in a strangled voice, "You can hear the system?"

"Sure, I was part of it once, too, y'know. I'm like, like, a son. Yeah, a son! I'm not an AI, shitty daddy!"

He shudders. He doesn't want to ever hear again Rick's voice say 'daddy'. Just, no.

'Can I trust him, though?'

'All companions serve allegiance to the Host.'

Will that stop Cellphone-Rick, though? He knows that Rick deep, deep, deep down loves Morty and his family and wants them safe... he still makes their life Hell through his 'good' intentions, though.

"Finally over with the monologue, fruit cake?"

"Please call me Selim when I'm in soul form." He sighs in resignation. "So, what do I call you?"

"Phone-Rick or P-Rick to shorten it. Sweet and short, you know?"

"... Wouldn't that sound like 'Prick'?"

"Shit, man. It's P-Rick! 'Pea-Rick'!"

"Okay, okay! Pee-Rick, it is!" he says, but there's a tiny smile on his face that he tries to smoother, still not sure if P-Rick can see him or not.

"You're smiling, aren't you, dick?!"

"No, no! I'm not, really!" he says with a giggle.

"At least chuckle, you sissy! It's fucking weird hearing a man's voice giggle." A burp. "Oh, by the way, I'm done with taking SHIELD's info. And they have some serious shit on their servers, fruit cake."

"Don't call me fruit cake, PRick."

"Don't call me a prick, twink."

Recalling the meaning of twink and thinking of his body that, while bigger than his teenage one, it's still the lean type, he almost stumbles in mortification. He blushes at recalling old porn videos once seen in his (her) old life. "Do... Do I really look like a twink?"

"Shit. Are you flattered? Ugh. Anyway, you know, if you had turned me on earlier, I'd have done what you asked SHIELD to do. For Free."

"... You're lying." He hopes he's lying, or he'd feel like the biggest idiot to ever exist.

"Okay, no. I'd have asked you for pictures of yourself in a dress, but something tells me you'd have enjoyed it, so. Er, let me think of something."

"Shit. You can really do it then."

"Sure, I can. If you connect me to the internet, I can do it in a snap. A Snap, get it?"

He frowns as he looks at the phone. He ignores his joke. "Aren't you connected to the internet, though?"

"Nah. I need your permission for me to go inside. So give it to me, fruit cake. Unleash me and let me come. Double entendre totally intended, by the way."

"Weren't you connected to the internet when you stole Fury?"

"Ha! I wish. I'm only able to retaliate or do little things a normal phone can. However, with the internet I can be—"

"Yeah, not happening."

"Aw, come on, fruit cake. Give me a hand, here. You'll like the result."

He ignores it and presses the silence button.

It works, though now it vibrates, leaving messages instead. He reads some and realizes most are curses and creative ways to call him a 'trap'. So he does the wise thing and puts it inside his inventory.

Yeah, luckily he contacted Fury.

.

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We have P-Rick here :D!

Wanna read chapters ahead? Go to my p@treon: jorieds