Chapter Eighteen – A Witch of International Diplomacy
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“Hi, hi!” Asami grinned broadly, waving jauntily to Suyin as Emi introduced her to the others. Suyin bowed slightly and smiled. Momo stared intently at the girl, the wheels in her head clearly spinning wildly. “I’m Asami but you can call me Asami chan if you want!”

“Konnichiwa, thigh-chan,” Momo intoned. Her eyes dipped toward Suyin’s legs, mostly obscured by the table, meaningfully.

“Eh?” Suyin stared at her blankly for a moment before turning to Emi. “I don’t understand,” Suyin said in Korean.

“Moo is a different type of mammal,” Emi replied, trying to keep things as diplomatic as possible. “She likes…body parts.”

“Like…No, I don’t understand. What do you mean she likes ‘body parts’?” Suyin shook her head.

“She doesn’t collect them in jars or anything she’s…hmmm,” Emi said slowly, trying to make it seem less creepy than it came out as. “Like, I’m ‘flatty chan’ because I don’t have big boobs, and Asami is ‘plushy chan’ because she has a plush butt and she hasn’t shown Moo her boobs, yet. And now, evidently, you are ‘thigh chan.’ I guess she likes your thighs.”

“You’ve shown your boobs to her?” Suyin asked in some surprise.

“Huh? Nah, nah,” Emi waved her hand dismissively. “But without a toilet paper stuffed bra or a set of couch cushions it’s tough to miss my lack of upstairs endowment. You know?” Emi shrugged.

“And she does this to everyone?” Suyin cocked an eyebrow quizzically.

“Evidently,” Emi shrugged again. “You get used to it.”

“Can you take off your skirt so Momo can see your thighs better, thigh-chan?” Momo intoned, a spark of interest lacing through her monotonous voice.

“Well,” Emi blinked at Momo across the table. “That’s new.”

“Wait!” Asami interrupted. “Why didn’t you ask me to take my skirt off to show my butt?” Emi glanced over at her immediately, a lascivious grin playing across her face. Immediately Asami’s face grew redder than an apple. “N-Not that I would have! I mean…heh heh…that’s not what I was getting at! I mean…pfft! Like I would! It’s…you know…just that, you didn’t ask is all. Again, not that I would have! I was just curious!” Asami sputtered defensively.

“Will you take off your skirt so Momo can see your butt better, plushy-chan?” Momo stared at her impassively, that same spark of interest bursting into a veritable raging inferno for the usually passive Moo.

“No!” Asami snapped. “I mean, what am I? An afterthought, now? No! You don’t get to see my butt!” Once again, the nearby tables had taken a bit of an interest in their conversation and Emi wondered vaguely how long it would be before they were banned from this particular family restaurant. Although, Emi reasoned, at this rate the ban may extend to the entire chain. A change of topic was in order, she decided. Especially as she rather enjoyed coming here.

“How about we move on to our new friend and- “Emi began before Momo cut her off.

“So, could you take your skirt off and let Momo see your thighs, thigh-chan?” Momo’s gaze returned to Suyin.

“Uh…” Suyin glanced at Emi, uncomfortable with suddenly being back in the center of the conversation.

“Tch,” Asami sucked her teeth. “Rude.” She sulked deeper into the booth.

“Now, now, Moo, we won’t be stripping in the family restaurant today, ok?” Emi finally took her shot at derailing the Moo before things got even more awkward than they already were.

“Later?” Momo blinked at Emi curiously.

“We’ll pin that discussion, how’s that?” Emi smiled her winningest smile and Momo nodded. “So! Everyone! This is Suyin, she is from Korea by way of Taiwan.”

“I thought she was a mermaid,” Momo studied her closely, presumably for signs of gills and scales.

“Huh? Wha…? No. Not a mermaid!” Emi protested, waving her arms exaggeratedly. “Where’d you get that idea? Pfft!”

“You said she was,” Momo replied, causing Emi to sag visibly into her seat.

“I never said she was,” Emi reasoned. “I simply put forth the theory she could be a mermaid,” Emi shot an exasperated glance at Momo. “Not, necessarily that she was a mermaid. We could all be mermaids, right?”

“Momo is not,” Momo shook her head.

“You’re…you’re missing the point. But that’s ok! We’re moving on from the mermaid thing, now, ok?” Emi pleaded.

“Ok, flatty chan,” Momo nodded.

“Thank you! Ok! This is Suyin!” Emi snapped back to the matter at hand.

“Hello Suyin,” Asami was gradually emerging from her cocoon and sounded relatively chipper again.

“Hello, Asami,” Suyin grinned at her.

“Hello, thigh-chan,” Momo bowed slightly in Suyin’s direction.

“H-Hello…Moo? Yes?” Suyin bowed in return.

“Momo is Momo,” Momo replied.

“Yes, we call her ‘moo’, though and she doesn’t seem to mind,” Emi interjected. “Right?”

“Momo is Moo also,” Momo shrugged.

“It is pleasure to meet all,” Suyin said in her broken Japanese.

“It’s nice to meet you, too!” Asami burbled happily, pushing her glasses back up the bridge of her nose as if to get a better look at the girl.

“Momo is pleased as well,” Momo intoned, not sounding either pleased or displeased.

“That’s quite the ringing endorsement from the Moo!” Emi grinned.

“It is?” Suyin looked over at the small girl curiously.

“I have no idea, but we’ll go with it,” Emi shrugged.

The waitress appeared with their drinks and a tray of French fries, a stern look of warning on her face. They were definitely getting close to the boot, Emi decided, nibbling on a hot potato wedge nervously.

“Oh! I got the paperwork for the Flower Appreciation Society all filled out! We just need your signatures!” Asami dug into her bag and pulled the sheet of paper free. Momo and Emi leaned forward to peer at it with Suyin glancing at it curiously as well.

“Momo did not finish the new Garr, yet” Momo shook her head. “Momo needs more clay.” Emi briefly wondered how terrifyingly vast Garr would end up becoming. A vision of a giant 3-meter-tall monstrosity with eighteen arms and fangs protruding from everywhere, including its beady shark eyes sprang to mind and Emi shook her head, deciding she didn’t want to know the answer after all.

“This is exciting!” Emi declared, slapping her hand down on the page. “With this we start the plan! With this we shall make the world tremble! With this, dear ladies, the Flower Appreciation Society springs to life!”

“Flower…?” Suyin cocked her head to the right and glanced at Emi curiously.

“Oh, this?” Emi gestured grandly at the paper on the table. “This is just a little thing we’re working on. A club, as it were, to change the world.”

“What kind of club?” Suyin switched to Korean and Emi grinned.

“Do you know what the problem with this school is?” Emi asked.

“Bullies?” Suyin sighed.

“Precisely!” Emi agreed. “But bullies come from all age groups and walks of life, don’t they?” Suyin thought for a moment before shrugging her agreement.

“Well, with the stroke of a pen we aim to fight back.” Emi tapped the paper dramatically.

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