: somewhere in a cave:
I woke up
wait what? isn’t this the part where I lay peacefully six feet under ?
ok, I see am not dead, am I?
-your thought process is still at retardation level-
Haahaa hahahahahahahahahaha
I feel regret
brain now is your cue to ask me what do I regret
-Am you, you dimwit-
as uncooperative as ever I see why didn’t die with the old body
WAIT WAIT WAIT
I jumped so high to a degree made it seem like I was a rocket on NASA's launch bad
ehh was I reckless
Jumping without a countdown I mean meh who cares about safety I might still be dead
Yeah right let’s check my pants
HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I still have my virgin dick intact
-aren’t virgins ashamed of their virginity -
oh look at me am brain from the modern progressive open-minded world
fuck you
-wow, salty -
now that I made sure my dick is here, I tucked in carefully then said with a motherly voice sleep my little V junior
"kyaaaaaaaaaaaa''
''respect man to jerk off while talking to your dick in a dungeon filled with monster ''
''perverts are really crazy''
My body stiffened
moving my neck to the right side I see the cave wall
it was black and pretty I could stare at it the whole day
did I mention it’s pretty?
''what the pervert ignored us really''
''Dude for real I might just ask you to be my mentor in the way of the world''
''pervert are you crazy?''
damn this wall is really really really fucking pretty
-dude talk to them they have two chicks with one dude applying for apprenticeship time to lose your V card -
I sigh and remove my eyes from the most beautiful wall I have ever seen or will see
looking at the three
I held my breath the girls were really hot like really
of course, they held no candle for the beauty of my wall
I'll marry my wall just wait and you’ll see
back to them
''ahem... am not''
facing the third girl who has been calling me a pervert just now
she had blue eyes with blond hair and an oval-shaped face she made me feel weird
-weird what are 3 years old say she makes you horny-
-FUCK KILL PILLAGE -
oi brain hold your leash against our psycho
I want to make a good 1st impression
-that ship sailed and crashed long ago bud-
not to the three but to my lovely wall
blondie asked ''you aren’t crazy''
''huh .. no, I am plenty crazy but me no pervert missy''
she was obviously confused ''so you want to tell me that you talk to your dick cuz your crazy, not a pervert''
I give her a stern stair and start explaining my weird and wonderful existence
who knew when you wake up from dying it feels like god pumped a whole lot of dopamine in your system
''listen blondie I don’t talk to my dick I just sing to it like a loving mother if your mother sang you a lullaby is she a pervert? no of course not ''
''hmm you are saying that you aren’t a pervert, because you have a mother-son relation with your penis?''
''it’s not mother-son relation its actually mother-daughter and my baby has a name damn it. It's V junior''
suddenly an earthquake happened in the cave blondie and her friends took off running afraid of dying under the ruble
-Amazing you managed to introduce a girl to your penis without havin her name or giving her yours-
ummmm brain, look at them running afraid they will die haha
shit I need to run to nooooooooooooooooo
sorry wifey Ill marry in another life goodbye
I teared up leaving the pretty wall behind while dodging the rubble
holy shit call me Neo because am dodging a whole lot of shit
I manage to leave the cave, but I can’t see blondie
hmmm time for serious questions, but before I got the time to delve into thinking.
I got interrupted by the cutest little thing
''nyan''
OHHHHH MYYYYYYYYY GOOOOOOOOOOOD THEY HAVE JAPANESE CATS
Where the fuck am I?
did I change countries?
-nyan is cuter than meow though-
