Slamming my mouse down for the nth time, I yelled out in frustration as I leaned back in my chair. In an effort to meet my self-imposed deadlines, I had repeatedly saved multiple drafts for my chapter ideas in my story to help speed up the process, and yet...
"...why the fuck didn't it save?!?!"
Crying out once more with a maelstrom of negative emotions swirling about as I voiced my thoughts aloud, I hit my desk while staring at my computer as if it were my mortal enemy. Clenching my teeth with such force that I could hear them straining, I let out yet another sigh that escaped my lungs as if it were running away from me.
Unable to escape the slump infamously known to many as the universally hated enemy to all writers, amateur or professional, I closed my laptop as I conceded defeat once more to the Universe's cruel forces at work.
"Hmm, I should probably rewrite it to fit the theme I had planned on, but still..."
Sitting in front of my laptop, I was once again at an impasse.
Between all of the potential ideas that I had for a plot or storyline, they were simply too numerous to choose from. As I constantly drew inspiration from some of my favorite authors and stories, I had a difficult time narrowing the overall theme of the story I wrote.
Typically, if I were to write a story, I prefer to include some form of 'rags to riches' theme, in order to better develop my characters.
Sadly, this usually ends up with my characters being cynical or negative, not that there's anything wrong with that. But when almost all of your stories have a recurring theme for most of the protagonists, it ends up becoming repetitive and bland.
Eventually, you begin to lose passion for the stories you write, and the characters who you once looked upon with great care and love, simply fade into the background as a simple blip in the ever-moving stream of memories...
...and those memories might eventually lead you back to your beginnings. Reminded of the passions you once cherished, supported by the words of others, you decide to take it upon yourself to throw yourself back in the thick of it. Your creative mind runs wild! Your hands fidget endlessly, the your fingers can't seem to stop typing as the words seamlessly flow out of you...
Until they stop. Crushed by the dissatisfaction of your inadequacy, your vigor is slowed, and your mind grows stagnant.
"Who decided that you were worthy? Who told you that you were special? No one said that they expected anything of you, so why bother trying?"
As you begin to question yourself, that black pit inside begins to overtake everything that pushed you to become better.
But you remind yourself!
Prove not to me, you, or anyone! Simply find your passion and stick to it! Love what you do, but allow yourself a break every once in a while. Despite that break being more than 2 whole years, and motivations having risen and fallen, you pick yourself up and allow yourself to be submerged in the passions you hold dear once more...