1.02 – When Brothers Plan, Sisters Laugh
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Part 2

Izayoi pitched up his nose, taking in the fresh scent of… "Are those...pancakes?” The scent strengthened as he entered the kitchen. He found Yukie standing over the stove, spatula in hand and apron tied around her waist. "What’s the occasion?" He expected two eggs, two sausages and a slice of toast.

"Does a mother need a reason to spoil her son?"

Nice try, Yukie.

"So this isn’t an attempt to cheer me up before picking up Akiza?"

"As if I would."

A third weapon that Yukie regularly deployed was her smile. She had a fantastic smile. It alone had immense power, enough to crush the defenses of anyone it was aimed at.

Man, woman, child.

Even now, Izayoi felt less angry about spending his valuable time picking up Akiza from soccer practice. That was how effective Yukie’s smile was. Her smile was like a machine gun, mowing down whoever she wanted doing her bidding that day…but obviously couldn’t because of the ‘mowing down’ part.

Izayoi transplanted two pancakes onto his plate and took a seat at the far end of the table. He had to rush eat.

"Any news from dad?" He took a bite out of the pancake and passed the conversation over to Yukie.

"I spoke to him last night. His team touched down in Peru safely."

"That’s good,” Izayoi said, his mouth still full. “Anything else?”

"He says it’s really warm there."

Yukie and Izayoi’s father, Kouki, have been married for two years now, but Izayoi’s overall time spent with his father only amounted to maybe nine months since then. An archaeologist, his father made a living travelling to exotic locations…well mostly hot, sandy places…and digging up things.

"Maybe next time he should aim for Peru in the winter.” Izayoi helped himself to another pancake.

"You know your father. He’s not really the ‘planning’ type." Izayoi twisted his head to engage Yukie again. That last sentence…

It had sounded off somehow.

"Hey Yukie…?”

"Hm?" She seemed ‘less’ than before.

Less happy.

Less confident.

Less disappointed.

"We still doing alright?" It took the step-mother a moment to realize what he was referring to. As if flipping a switch, Yukie’s face beamed again. The stereotypical image of a happy, suburban housewife.

"Yes. We’re still fine. You don’t have to worry. I'll worry."

"But if anything changes, you’ll let me know? I can do more. I can—"

"I will let you know."

"Promise?" Yukie’s facade dropped. It was only for a moment, but still noticeable after all this time.

"I promise,” she said again. “You don’t have to worry."

Liar.

Yukie was a sweet, kind soul, but a terrible liar.

The family wasn’t poor. They were well-off actually. It was just the people funding his father’s expedition this go around were sometimes spitefully slow or flat out hesitant to pay him for his efforts, especially as the expedition had visited multiple sites so far but yielded no treasures.

Izayoi wolfed down his pancake before placing the plate in the sink and grabbing his keys.

"Ahem,” he heard Yukie behind him, pretending to clear her throat. “Aren't you forgetting something?"

He flashed her the keys he had swiped earlier and dangled them in front of her as if to say ‘Got ‘em right here’.

***

Matsuda lived roughly fifteen minutes’ walk away. When they were younger, the pair had no issue walking to and fro from each other. One day they’d play video games at Izayoi’s house, or watch sports at Matsuda’s.

Growing up had turned them into a pair of lazy slackers.

Mostly Matsuda.

The young man was already waiting when Izayoi pulled up to his house.

"Wow. You look like shit,” was the first thing Matsuda said while flashing the latter a teasing beam.

"Gee, thanks Matsuda. Nice to see you too,” Izayoi said back as Matsuda joined him inside the car. Sometimes he genuinely had no idea how or why or even what he must have done in a past life to deserve a friend like Matsuda. The young man wasn’t exactly what you’d call ‘normal’.

"How's tricks?"

"Same old, same old. You know the song. The words changes but the beat stays the same. You manage to grab the tickets?"

Matsuda obliged by reaching into his breast pocket and showing off the tickets in question.

"Read ‘em and weep. You ready to go?"

Izayoi carefully pulled out of the driveway, while equally carefully considering how he was going to explain ‘it’.

Finally, he decided on…

"Uh…look...about that." He really didn’t know how to break the news to Matsuda.

"Don’t tell me.”

"I uh..."

"No! Don’t tell me."

"I can’t go."

"Arggggh! I told you not to tell me!" Matsuda announced his disapproval by throwing his head up back against the seat.

"Sorry. I have class today."

"Class? Seriously? Isn't four hours a little late for that?"

Izayoi paused to mentally thank the world for giving him a friend who understood this logic.

"Yukie is insisting.” Izayoi waited for Matsuda to regain his composure.

"Fine. It's fine I suppose. How about a quick lunch break first?"

"Actually…"

The silence that followed lasted just long enough for Matsuda to realize that the worst news had yet to come. "You’re joking..."

"I have to pick up bitch-face and her friends from soccer practice."

"This sucks! What am I supposed to do? Go by myself?"

"Hey! I’m not thrilled about this either, okay? Be grateful I’m giving you a lift there at all."

"I was gonna make you stand in the queue for me too." Izayoi felt like slapping Matsuda for uttering that sentence out loud, but decided against it when he realized he was still in the driver’s seat.

"Such a good friend, Matsuda."

.

..

"Akiza should just get her license and get it over with,” Matsuda said again as they turned the corner.

"Preaching to the choir,” Izayoi added, wholeheartedly agreeing with the statement. “I’m sick of driving her around like a chauffeur."

"You can always just move out,” suggested Matsuda. “I mean you're already shaving years off your life living at home."

This wasn’t a new idea. The thought of moving out and living somewhere else often passed through his brain. Most notably whenever he was engaged in a stimulating debate/argument with Akiza over some mundane issue neither of them cared about.

"Sure. All I need is enough money to pay for basic essentials like food and rent and I’ll be set."

"Your sarcasm is not amusing,” Matsuda replied with a hint of annoyance in his voice.

"Who’s joking? At the rate I'm going, I'll be thirty before I ever move out."

The space inside the car suddenly filled up with the sound of Matsuda breaking into an uncontrollable laughter.

"Thirty? Man, if that happens, consider this friendship null and void."

"..."

"I can't be seen hanging around with a guy in his thirties, still crashing with his mom,” Matsuda elaborated in-between chuckles. “Hot or not."

"Careful,” Izayoi warned sternly. “That's my step mom you're lusting after."

"Nothing wrong with that, is there? If someone's attractive, they're attractive."

"Please keep thoughts like that to yourself."

But it was too late.

"You mean you've never even wondered about her?"

"Of course not."

"Liar, liar, pants on fire."

Izayoi didn’t like to admit it, nor would he ever say it out loud, so he didn’t, but it also didn’t change the fact that Matsuda was on to something.

It’s unavoidable.

Yukie was an attractive woman. With a great body and Izayoi could vividly recall the first time the two of them met. He was simply a child back then, but that didn’t stop his heart from pounding so hard in his chest that he feared it might give out. Yukie was easily the most beautiful creature he had ever seen.

Sometimes he’d joke to his father that he became aware of Yukie’s beauty long before the latter decided to make her his wife.

Yukie was only 32 at the time. But even now, thirteen years later, she seemed to have maintained her beauty. Her skin was fine and clear as crystal. Sometimes, and definitely not always, Izayoi would be so overwhelmed by her beauty that it made living together difficult. It didn’t help that Yukie was a kind woman, but also the kind of woman who knew she was exceptionally beautiful.

And it most definitely didn’t help matters when she boldly exposed her shoulders and cleavage by wearing one of her low-cut blouses or tank tops. Often times, her cleavage would run so deep that it looked like her giant breasts were trying to escape.

Sometimes he could escape not staring at her breasts by looking down, but would still fail miserably if Yukie was wearing something that left her plump thighs visible for all to see.

It’s unavoidable.

Yukie’s body gives off the sex appeal of a mature, attractive woman.

Having someone like that around the house, carrying out alluring melons that big, it would be rude not to stare.

It’s unavoidable.

"You know, instead of imagine-fucking Yukie, why don't you channel some of that perverted energy and get your own driver's license?" Izayoi tried to put his own perverted thoughts and ideas about Yukie out of his mind.

"Who needs a license when HE have his own personal chauffeur?"

"..."

This is the first part of my new Light Novel “My Life as an Ero-Magi Sucks! All Roads Lead to Perversion!!”. I will be posting updates periodically on here, as well as on my Patreon and WebNovel.

It has been a huge joy to work on this series and I’ve been careful to balance all the elements that make up great Light Novels: Fun, interesting characters, a nice-enough mystery and of course an excellent premise. 

If you can't wait to find out what happens next, you can grab Volume 1 for just $5.99 from

 

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