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Silas Moon

 

I'm so fucking out of my league here, it's honestly enough to leave a chuckle in the air. Literal explosions, formed from a demon's very mind, rend the earth around me, but there is nigh nothing I can do to help. A moderately insane, the completely normal kind of smile in a situation like this falls upon my lips as I sink back against a rock.

 

We're... at least twenty miles from where that cloud appeared. The... thing that emerged from the darkness assaulted Aniwye first, which cleared enough smoke for me to find them. Then, space 'shifted' or something, and the next thing I know, Otto, Aniwye, and I are knee-deep in shit.

 

Not literal shit, but it might as well be. Eh. It's worse.

 

I light my cigar, inhaling the tasteless thing while Aniwye and a few new arrivals battle Camilion, the Born Sorrow, or whatever Isaac called her. Not my fight. Well, it is, but... I'm not exactly capable of joining, now am I?

 

Quite useless in fact.

 

I spit out the cigar, lamenting the lack of taste. A week ago... no, I swear a month ago, I could still taste it. With even the most pungent of cigars gone... I think that is the last of my human feelings. To say goodbye, I crush the once-enjoyable treat into the ground with my heel.

 

It's getting... thorny to keep that promise, as part of it came with no suicide.

 

Aniwye's head snaps back, an explosion literally just appearing in the air before her. A second emerges behind her, but the Virtue's mind manages to clamp down on it enough to lessen the blast into a simple breeze.

 

Meanwhile, Birdie covers us all in barriers, protecting us, at least partially, from the rampant detonations. I don't know how the 'Born Sorrow' translates to a Dominion that involves summoning such virulent explosions, but again, it's not my place.

 

While Birdie protects us, Aniwye attacks, and Otto does what he can to not simply die, Isaac meets the fellow Demigod up close and personal. I can't see their Dominions like Wyatt claims to, but the effects from them are absurdly visible.

 

Rocks practically vanish near Isaac while the air churns dangerously. I can feel the aura around him, devastating everything he wishes. On the other end, Camilion manifests those terrifying explosions from nowhere. Still, the Supreme that... wait what was his name again?

 

Hmm...

 

Ah. Isaac. That's weird. Was my memory always this bad?

 

Whatever.

 

Isaac seems to be able to wholly nullify those explosions, and the ones that detonate outside of his supposed Dominion, his sheer body can withstand with little issue. But that is just the surface-level battle I'm able to witness.

 

Underneath it, there is far, far more, invisible to my eye. Here, even my Wish would not do a thing. I wager I could gather all the gold in the world, and it wouldn't matter. Some things are just impossible.

 

My knees slowly give out, not from the constant earthquakes or rumbling of combat, and not even from wounds, but just because they do. I slide back on the rocks, the sharp edges cutting into my clothes and Undead flesh.

 

Still... I don't feel any pain.

 

What is happening to me?

 

The question lingers for longer than ever before. I always ignored Earl, Wyatt, and anyone else who tried to convince me that something was wrong. I used to think it was just a standard feeling of being out of place. Yet, now... as I can't even feel the opened laceration on my back, I'm not so sure of my decision.

 

A veritable war rages in my pupils, but none of the visuals make it to me. My only focus lies inward. It's selfish, but I'm useless anyway.

 

This Gift—this Undeath—may have been a blessing at one point, but it isn't anymore. It is nothing but a curse, shackling my soul when I'd rather be dead.

 

I just want to join her... E. I can't even remember her name. That simple fact angers me so, so fucking much. Or at least it did. Now, I can't even conjure up the feelings to care more than wishing I was with her.

 

My head doesn't even flinch as one of Otto's blades is broken by a detonation, sending the shard into the rock half an inch from my right eye socket. There's not an eye in there anymore, anyway.

 

Haahh...

 

I look up at the ceiling above because that's what it is. It's a ceiling. A roof, whatever. There is no sky down here, and that brings me no peace, no salvation. The sun was nice to see, but it only made me sick after a while.

 

Whether that's from E's wish or being so far away from Death, I don't know.

 

A groan escapes my lips as I notice my vision shiver and the colors darken as if the lights in my eyes are dying. It is like... I'm dying. Was my connection to Death damaged that heavily?

 

I'm losing my sight now.

 

My mind has been gone for quite a while, too.

 

My life, my soul, my everything has been cut into infinitesimally tiny portions. I can't breathe, I can't eat, I can't drink, I can't even cut myself.

 

Would it be so wrong for me just to... just to walk into that explosion?

 

Or that one?

 

What about that one?

 

I wish someone would say yes. I wish that I didn't make that promise to Tomas, even if he needed it. It hurts, but I can't feel pain. It's all... so dull. I struggle to even gather myself to my feet as Camilion runs for the hills, escaping with a dozen explosions beneath her feet to propel her body toward the ceiling. Then, she reorients in a crazy feat of explosive acrobatics to hurtle back toward Hell.

 

The short demon didn't leave any deaths, not even from those Isaac brought, as it is just him and Birdie after he sent the weaker ones away, but I can tell she's utterly terrifying. Two Virtues, a Power, and a Dominion got her to retreat.

 

She's evidently weaker than Isaac, even with the Darklight in a one-on-one, but there are a hell of a lot more Demigods in Hell than there are One Eyeds.

 

Congratulations, relief, and worries are shared as Aniwye, Isaac, and Birdie speak. Otto tries to join in but is partially ignored and partway told to focus on healing himself. A few moments pass as I zone out, staring into the unknown, not a single thought in this dying brain of mine.

 

I stay like this for a while, but then a foot kicks my leg.

 

"Get up, you lazy ass. Fuck. Why do they keep you around? You're so fucking weak. What were you guys thinking, Aniwye? Bringing a Wondrous into the Underworld at a time like this?"

 

Wyatt's 'mother' sighs as she defends me from Otto. I wish I could be angry at him for the words he said, but he isn't really wrong. Neither is she.

 

"We brought him home. He is an Undead. Wyatt is just... attached to people. He doesn't want to leave him behind."

 

A scoff ends with a grip tightening around my arm. Then, Otto lifts me up and drags me alongside him. I scramble to get my feet underneath me but quickly give up as the man begins to move faster than I can possibly emulate.

 

"Fine. I'll talk to Wyatt myself. This guy will just die his last death. No... I see his eyes. He already did."

 

A translucent, body-forming shield emerges around me, the edges only a fraction of an inch from my skin. Alongside its eruption is Birdie's soothing and calm voice. She... she reminds me of her.

 

It reminds me of E.

 

But that can't be. Birdie was here long before me. Or was she? I don't remember exactly. Dates are odd down here. E didn't look anything like... I don't remember what she looks like. Fuck. Even if it is her, though... I can't let her know that this is me. This version of me.

 

It's better if she just forgets all about me, which I think she already has.

 

My thoughts come to a pause as we quickly arrive, within just a minute, to an absolutely obliterated battlefield. Aniwye gasps aloud as she hurries to Wyatt's trembling form on the ground. The young man alternates from spasming horrifically to falling utterly still. How tragic. Otto sprints for Marion, passed out against a rock, and Isaac sighs while stepping over to Kate's... head. Meanwhile, I scan the situation with my eyes, more like a tool than a person.

 

Bonfire is snoring lightly, the whole situation seemingly normal for him, just another day. Virgil, too, is unconscious, though his sleep is soundless like an owl's. Another minute or two, and I'm sure he'll awake. Additionally, there is another body, that of a demon. Even from here, it gives me shivers.

 

Darklight leaks out of it in enough amounts to infect me without issue despite the owner being dead. Besides that, I can sense a similar pressure from it as I do from Isaac.

 

A Dominion. A Demigod. They... even with a casualty, killed a Demigod.

 

The achievement impresses me, but as always with the recent times, I can't seem to care all that much. My body would once tingle with excitement, my heart quicken, and my feet move in joy, but none of that comes. Only a cold, dead stillness.

 

Wyatt, Marion, Bonfire, and Virgil are out of commission while Kate is lying dead. Yet, one still stands.

 

Lennon Hull kneels before Kate's body, the head his focus. Before him, with a vaguely visible blue tint around it, is an eyeball. Ah, that must be Mie. Is she still alive? That would make sense. Artifacts are quite different from humans.

 

"One of your fellows entered the gullet?"

 

The swordsman, without a blade, nods to Isaac's question. The man older than any other I know sinks to a single knee, giving Kate Summers the respect of a Chief.

 

"May you enter the beyond without any regrets, with a life worth having been lived and a purpose to continue in the next one. Goodbye, soldier. May we meet again."

 

Then, as cruel and focused of a man that he is, Isaac stands and strides away, heading back toward Depravity. If I could feel it, I'd be furious. I know that much. Kate, Kwakiteh, whatever, was a good woman. I'll miss her, I think.

 

It's hard to tell.

 

"Say your goodbyes. You don't want to risk the Darklight taking over her corpse. You'll have to burn it. The recently deceased have always been absurdly susceptible down here, at least for demons. I reckon it's the same for us."

 

With that, Isaac is gone, leaving just Lennon, Aniwye, Birdie, and myself. Otto is already telling the half-sleeping Marion about his fight, so he's out of this.

 

But Lennon peers up at us with the eye in his formless hand, the eye with red, pink, and white colors evenly sparsed throughout the whites and pupil. With a deep inhale, his look stopping either Birde or Aniwye from speaking their minds, he holds it aloft.

 

"Mie needs a partner. Without one... she will go mad. Kate's death has not been easy for her. I imagine it will only get worse if she is trapped within this eye. I am a terrible choice, so I must ask one of you, not that I think I'd even be qualified to replace an eye with her."

 

Aniwye strokes her chin in confusion, blood still dripping from all the speakers in this conversation. Then, she presents a question, not outright saying no.

 

"What do you mean qualified?"

 

Lennon stands formally, taking great care with the eye in his hand. Then he... speaks with genuine, authentic compassion. It floors me to see this from such a hardened man.

 

"I have few friends. Fewer now. Kate was... begrudgingly at first, one of them. We often spoke, and she had told me what to do if she ever died in her revenge. I did the same for her, but my answer was simple, as I couldn't give less of a shit about the after. Nevertheless, she explained that I'd have to find someone compatible with Mie. After all... even if she has found herself, tempered her emotions, and is generally kind, she is still an artifact, an Arca nonetheless. Unless you are compatible with her, she will devour you, whether she means to or not."

 

Birdie juts in next, seemingly not believing the claim.

 

"I've spoken to Mie multiple times. Why would she devour one of us? It doesn't make sense. For other Arcas, yeah, it's understandable, but her? She's—"

 

Lennon cuts her off, still bearing the eye with his Dominion. He seems to be losing his patience.

 

"She is an Arca, Birdie. That means she has to attach to your soul. If she were any higher than a Virtued Arca, then she might have just perished alongside Kate, seeing as they are so intimately close."

 

Finally, Birdie seems to understand. She nods slowly as if processing the request. Aniwye, however, immediately refuses once hearing all the terms and conditions.

 

"No. I have seen what an artifact did to the little one. I am not naive enough to think I am as resilient to bear it or lucky enough to be compatible with something that was in a human. I'll just watch and catch up with Blodwyn."

 

Aniwye then plops on the earth, making a crater slightly larger as I realize her Adjusted size didn't change her total weight at all. Interesting... That skill has some serious potential. I wonder where she learned it.

 

"What about you, Birdie? I know you hardly met these two, but—"

 

"I'll try, Lennon. I can't let her just die, y'know? What kind of person would I be if I did?"

 

Ah... How did I, of all people, end up so close to her when I came to the Underworld? How did I end up in Heights with her? Birdie is just too good for this world, just like my E.

 

Biting my tongue, I watch Birdie step forward toward Lennon, reaching tenderly for Mie. Still, Lennon halts her once before letting her fingers touch the Arca.

 

"Careful. She's hurting."

 

Birdie nods gingerly, caring as always. Then, it happens. Fingertip and eye meet, only for Birdie to suddenly lurch backward. She stumbles for a step or two before coming to a stable balance.

 

"Ow... Mie... You're right, Lennon. It's bad. I think Kate's death is more than just emotional for her. I think her soul might have been damaged. Well, I'm definitely not compatible. Just the feel of her Ether makes my stomach churn. Sorry, honey. We'll find you someone, okay?"

 

Mie finally replies to our words, seemingly taking advantage of that brief connection with Birdie. A painful screech comes through my mind, burning a trail of self-hate and pain.

 

"I DON'T WANT SOMEONE! I WANT MY SISTER BACK!"

 

I grab my head in reflex before falling to the ground. The disorientation is the worst part about whatever she just did. Whatever. It doesn't actually hurt. It is just a faux, implanted pain. My eyes begin to drift once more as Otto is called over to try. Then the drowsy Virgil, then Bonfire, and finally even the unconscious Wyatt, despite everyone knowing how insane it would be to have two or do it while... in whatever he is right now.

 

No one is compatible. Hmm...

 

How unfortunate for her. The sk—ceiling is a little brighter this way than it was over by Heights. I wonder why? Is Hell as the legends say it is? Full of lava and whatnot? It would make—

 

"Pull your shit together."

 

A pair of eyes, virtually spewing the words 'I'm tired of your bullshit,' appear in my sight, overpowering everything else. Lennon is hardly an inch from me as he growls a string of furious words at me.

 

"I know you hate yourself. You hate what you have become, this unfeeling corpse. So do something about it, you coward. To become who you Wish to be, you must be willing to sacrifice, Silas Moon. Stand. Try. Die trying if you fail, but I will not accept anything less anymore. You have been nothing but a nuisance to carry, and you won't even stand up when we ask you to."

 

I meet his gaze, his words not really moving my heart but it shifts my thoughts in agreement. He's right. I hate myself, but it's hard to really call what I feel hate. It's so dulled and diluted that I don't know if it's hate or disappointment.

 

Virgil attempts to call him off, but Lennon doesn't budge. A thin laceration appears on my neck as Lennon proceeds with his threats.

 

"Stop being such a useless sack of shit. Wake up to this reality, Undead. You have been given a second chance. Take it! Grasp it by the horns! Lead yourself to greatness! Do you not want anything? Is there nothing you desire at all!? If you do not take this Arca, I will remove your legs and drag you to No Man's Land. There, you will be left like the weakling you are."

 

The threat forces all also to reach for their weapons, but I don't have it in me. He's right. Hmm... Is there anything I want? Is there anything I could grasp for so grimly determined as Lennon does? His spirit, acts like this, even just for a deceased friend. But me? I... I've lost plenty. It's been a long time since I was so emotional.

 

My mouth opens slightly as I search for something to answer with, but I don't know what to give. I look around unhurriedly before my gaze lands on Birdie. I want...

 

I want her to like me. The desire is more profound than I could imagine, as if it was always there, just hidden before. But I need to know something first.

 

"Birdie?"

 

"Yes?"

 

Lennon's eyes turn even more bloodshot as he watches me speak to Birdie. Yet, he allows the conversation to pass.

 

"Do you remember your original name? Surely it wasn't Birdie, right?"

 

The woman, long dead, dead for even longer than I, not that I know the exact difference, shrugs with a non-answer that is enough for me. It has to be, right?

 

"Uhmm... I'm not sure? I go by Birdie because I like birds. But uh... I think I was named after one."

 

I nod, latching onto the tiniest thing, a margin of a sliver so miniscule that I can only hope it exists.

 

"Did it start with an E?"

 

I wait for Birdie's response as I feel my body tremble in anticipation. That emotion... it's reemerged, even if only for a moment. A slight smile grows as she answers, the muscles moving on their own.

 

"Yeah. Yeah, I think so. Do you happen to know what it was?"

 

Our eyes meet as I rack my mind, searching for the name desperately. A bird that starts with the letter E. Eagle. It has to be, right? No. That is, too... it's not her.

 

An Egret. That's it. Egret. That was her name.

 

I breathe in once more, exhilarated for the first time in many months. It spreads throughout my whole body, touching my fingers to my eye sockets. My hand enters my pocket as I fish out a single gold coin.

 

My focus doesn't waver as I stare at it. Birdie asks me why I asked her that and what I know, but I don't answer her. If I do, I'll lose this feeling. And I know it won't come back. Lennon shouts at me, demanding to be aware of what I'm about to Wish for. Again, I remain silent.

 

"Money is not the most valuable thing in this world. It is our time together, Silas. Don't go out on so many missions, you hear? Spend more time with me. You will only get so many memories to cherish. What if... you go missing on a trip? What am I to do, then?"

 

A long-shattered memory lost to the many deaths reappears with the remembrance of Egret's name. If only I knew what would come... I would have never left that damned house. I would have... I would have rather have died in poverty than live in riches. I would... I would have rather suffered this fate a thousand times than leave her to it even once.

 

I want to have her love me again. But... I don't want to ruin what she has become. It's beautiful in its own way, as she is in any and every form.

 

"I don't know what your name is, sorry, Birdie... I Wish that I will be capable of inheriting Mie, the Mindful Eye."

 

Immediately after I ask my Wish, I flip the coin, sending the Ether for it into my hand. It is quite possibly something that I cannot ask for. Still, I know it is possible as the coin enters the air, sucking in my Ether and seeking my gold. It is just something that is too expensive for money to buy. So, I do not let it connect to the gold on my body. Instead, I push something far more precious into the whirlwind of Ether, which is my blooming Power.

 

As I do so, the Proof asked of me from long ago sparks once more.

 

Give up that which is most important to you in search of a desire.

 

I once thought it was cryptic and stupid, completely impossible. How do I give up what is most important to me? What even is meaningful to an Undead?

 

His most precious memories, the tiny bits that remain after a half-century of desolation. How about a clean slate for us, Egret? If we are meant to be, I am sure my love will still blossom even after death.

 

A soul-tearing pain rends a hole in my mind as the coin in the air fires through the air, entering Kwakiteh's heart. Then, it glows brilliantly, the color of the most glorious gold. Like a genuine Undead, I wobble to it, grasping without a true mind as I take the Sigil and what it means. A thousand visions enter my mind, practically overwhelming me, memories, futures, and possibilities, but amongst it all, I hold a singular thought.

 

A second try sounds like a lot of fun, huh, Egr.........

 

Birdie.