Chapter 3: Coincidence
After last night, Adam was a bit tired. The headache caused him a lot of suffering. He had problems sleeping, so he woke up tired.
It’s morning, Adam is on his way to take the train.
„All of this, from the moment I meet the women, the guy and Borris till the moment I shattered my own mirror, all of that seems more like an illusion.“
Adam, as tired he is, grows even more tired by questioning what happened last night.
„I shouldn’t give it too much thought.“
He suddenly hears the news from a phone of a middle aged guy who is watching the news on his phone in the train.
„Last night two humans were killed. The crime was around 1 or 2 o‘clock. A woman 23 years old, and a guy 33 years old were brutally murdered. The weapon was a knife. The police are currently investigating this case.“
„So, it wasn’t an illusion after all.“ Says Adam.
„That guy, Borris. That guy isn’t normal. He is strange. How did he know my location? And generally, why does he follow me all the time? At first on the roof, then last night, and always with a smirk on his face, and the words „this isn’t our last meeting, Adam.“. What are his true intentions?“
Adam arrives at the main station. On the way to his work he gave the whole situation some thoughts, but decided to switch the topic since he arrived at his workplace. At the main gate, he always walks by the same painting, a blank, and dark square painting. The painting kind of reminds him of himself, but he usually decides to not give it a deeper thought, but still has a some kind of feeling that this square is somehow connected to him.
Adam on his way to his office heard some unpleasant noises. The other office workers are talking about a new worker that starts his career today in this company.
One of the office workers, a 25 year old women, talks to her colleagues:
„Did you hear it? His looks are supposed to be amazing!“
„Ye, I’m excited to see him myself“ Replies the other women.
Adam, without expression, just walks by and says nothing.
Suddenly, one of the female workers says silently:
„This guy is so strange… He always has the same emotionless expression, and seems so boring. I couldn’t imagine living like him. Shopping, going out and chillin with friends is funny you know, Vanessa.“
Vanessa smiles at her, and replies:
„The world has so much to offer, and he is more of a living corpse. But, who cares, should we go out and have a drink after work?“
„Sure, haha.“ reply’s Lena.
Adam opens his office door, and sees Borri sitting on his hair:
„You, why are you here?“ say‘s Adam.
Borri replies: „Now don’t be so mean, I’m now your colleague. Why don’t we get along?“
„Getting along with you? I’m generally not interested in social contacts, so why would I befriend myself with anyone?“
Borri, as usual, smirks and says:
„Oh, haha. You are kind of a hardcore pessimistic person. Adam, what do you think, are you truly, a pessimist or a nihilist?“
„Wouldn’t it be the same at the end? So why would I care to distinguish it, I don’t care whatever I am.“
„They’re not the same. Pessimistic persons tend to always think that the worst outcome might happen, and the world is purely evil. Nihilists don’t believe in anything, neither good nor evil. They just don’t care, neither believe in helping or caring for themself, others or a meaning for existence and reality.“
Borri continues to explain:
„You seem to be both in a sense. You don’t care for anything, don’t believe in a future, have no hope or meaning for human existence. You also seem to not care about human morality.“
„How do you conclude that I do not believe in morality?“
„If your super-ego would exist, you'd have stopped me from killing those persons last night, or by now reported me to the police. You don’t care about the lives of others nor that of yours. It’s all without meaning, all without sense, and no reason for anything to exist. Yet, on the other side, you hate humans and humanity as a whole, why is that so?“
„Humans create suffering, and are bound to their own desires. We’re not able to escape suffering, at best, we can change the cause, but never escape suffering itself. Humans are unable to cure suffering, it’s part of their existence, the attempt to do so is an illusionary utopia. Individuality like the human will that comes from being self-consciousness is responsible for suffering, so if you would like to stop suffering itself you need to change the very foundation of what makes humans to humans. And this very foundation is what I hate so, humans are evil, egoistic and tend to become arrogant even try to play sometimes „a higher being“, and that all comes from their own will. Have you heard of Enso? It’s a Japanese word that means circle. When drawn with an opening, it can suggest that imperfection is an inherent part of existence, as same as suffering being an essential part of human existence. I believe the only escape from suffering for humans is nothingness, to become nothing or to never have existed in the first place.”
„Well, that’s all interesting, but why exactly and what caused this hatred, this wish for death for all humanity?“
„I’m not sure myself, but for some reason, I believe I have seen the beginning and the end of human history. It feels like my mind is looped within a story that repeats the failure of human history forever.“
Borris smirks grows exponentially.
„So, you believe the creation of humans is a failure?“
„Yes, somehow. Humanity is a failure, it shouldn’t have existed in the first place. All this suffering, all this arrogance, it all ends in a failure.“
„Fantastic, wow. All of that sounds phenomenal.“
Borri is applauding while speaking to Adam, and he continues:
„This story reminds me of The Underground Man by Fyodor Dostoevsky. Humanity on their path to create an idealistic society in which suffering doesn’t exist anymore is predetermined to fail. Fantastic, Adam. You’re fascinating me the more we speak.“
Adam, while staring out of the window while Borris is sitting on his office chair with his shoes on the table, he replies to Borri:
„Humans suffer sometimes more in imagination than in reality, to dream about things like that is the very act of denying one's true nature, the very foundation of his existence. I’m done dreaming that humanity has a future, and now humanity itself needs to realize this concept. Humanity needs to wake up from his own denial.“
Borri in the chair lets out a small giggle, he seems to laugh, but why?
„That seems very interesting, Adam. I’m on your side, their creation is a failure.“
Adam turns to Borri after he said those words, but before being able to reply on it, the chief opens the door:
„Hey, Adam. This is our new worker, he might already have introduced himself to you, right Borri?“
„Yes, I did. We’re getting along, Chief.“
„I hope so, I don’t need a negative atmosphere between my workers. It wouldn’t be good for my sales if some workers don’t get their job done well!“
The chief leaves the office, and Adam gives Borri a last reply:
„Give humans all they need, draw them into a sea of happiness, give them all the social status they need, create an idealistic society of no suffering, give them the perfect life. In the end, men are still men, and not pieces of a piano. They would go insane, they don’t always desire true happiness, they also desire self-agency, they do rather destroy their perfect life and society instead of becoming a piece of a part of a mechanical system. Our conscious mind tells us that we want happiness, a perfect life, equality and peace, but our being, our true desires and behavior sometimes show quite the opposite. Human history has shown the opposite.”
Borri doesn’t reply on it, he rather decided to let out a few silent laughs, he goes to the office door and says:
„Haha, now that was quite an interesting conversation, don’t you think so too, Adam?“
Adam stares at him, his expression blank as usual, and replies:
„Go out of my office.“ says Adam, while being on his way to the office chair.
Borri answers with a smirk instead of words, after he left the room Adam started to fall into a monologue:
„Isn’t the beauty of life connected to suffering? Doesn’t the beauty that many humans see in life be one of the main causes of suffering? If you imagine yourself in a situation where you are about to be executed, wouldn’t you go insane at the thought that you are about to lose everything? The more beauty and happiness life consists of, the more suffering it creates at the end. The thought of being at the edge of death, about to be executed, knowing full well that you lose all things you love, all things that build up your happiness, all the things that makes your life beautiful. Wouldn’t you rethink your whole life in that situation? „What if I were not do die!“ Wouldn’t this thought come to your mind? Wouldn’t you think about, and wishing life were given back to you? Rethinking your whole life, how you would not waste anything, turn each minute into a whole age. Wouldn’t all these thoughts make you so angry that you literally wish they would hurry up to execute you?“
Adam stops his monologue cause Eve suddenly interrupted his contemplative state.
„Mr. Falsumlux, a police detective suddenly came and told me he wanted to talk to Adam Falsumlux.“
