Benjamin – Citadel #1 ‘Keep Out’

 

 

We had been tricked!

More specifically, we had been told there would be a team!

That we would be 'Doink great thinks!'

As a result there would be 'Less sufferink!'

But it was lies! ALL LIES!...Well not exactly...

In the month that followed the activation of the Phase two transition, all of me have been putting up with an unprecedented level of shit! And this was not the average ‘kill the abomination’ level of excrement we were accustomed to however, oh no! It was far far worse than that...

The me’s had been forced, at scowling and acerbic Oksana point...To sit in...On meetings…

This was apparently what the crafty old Styrofoam battle axe had been referring to when she wanted to gather people. And granted, all any of me were supposed to do was sit there and give 'yes' or 'no' answers, but it was somehow inexorable, like with all things government based, that discussions were required to instill a sense of choice in our new minions...Subjects about their responsibilities…

So as the me’s and a bunch of white robed diplomatic flunkies sat in one of our Citadel’s newly established meeting rooms on the equally newly dubbed 'Diplomatic Floor' of the central spire. The attractive, but clearly disinterested red haired Delegate from The Valkyries of Gaia entreated in a distinctly Irish lilt.

“I demand that you personally intercede and put a stop to the continuing encroachment of The European Conglomerate into our hunting grounds!”

It took all any of me had not to open up a [Lesser Dimensional Portal] beneath us...One of me even toyed with opening Mr Pocket to disgorge a stronk boulder at terminal velocity and hopefully destroy everyone and everything in sight...But all of me had incomprehensibly given our word to try thing’s the old bat’s way and though we may be many regrettable things, we remained true to our word…Thus one of me countered to the cutely scowling delegate.

“So, who specifically do you want me to kill again?”

An outcry went up around the room and the lightly freckled woman’s skin got somehow paler whilst the delegate for the faction in question begged in a Norwegian meter.

“W-we humbly request that you do not t-take such extreme measures lord Benjamin!"

And as all of me failed to suppress our twitching eye of irritation at the absurd honorific, the now porcelain ex-Irish national stammered.

“W-what? N-no! I didn’t want you to kill them!… J-just you know...M-make them see reason?”

It was our turn to scowl, as a me rejoined.

“And say what exactly, that they need to keep their ball’s on their own side of the apocalyptic fence?”

To her credit, the delegate managed to only look conflicted for but a moment before offering weakly.

“N-not in so many words...B-but...Yes?”

Huffing dejectedly we were about to point out that she should take it up with the smarmy yet slightly cowering, son of a Norwegian goat horn sitting opposite her when the stocky yet formidable bane of all of my's existence enters the room to announce.

“I’m afraid meetink must be cut short as Benjamin has other pressink matter to attend.”

Despite abundant grumbling and the odd formally lodged protestation, the six white robed delegates seemed to follow her direction much better then they had any of ours...So soon it was just us, Oksana and some extremely timid looking Caucasian guy decked out in [Elevants Essential Gear] left in the ridiculously-expansive circular room-of-torture we’d unwittingly chosen to construct.

Once the door closed behind the woman, she offered.

“Apologies big man, I had meant to rescue you from natterink bottom feeders sooner, but somthink is actually up.”

Collectively managing, if only just, to put aside our annoyance at being left to languish in the diplomacy gulag for longer than was scheduled. A me took to quirking our brow in inquisition whilst it prompted.

“Well, don’t just leave me hanging in suspense lady?!”

Seeming to weigh her options for a further few moments, the Russian woman eventually countered.

“There has been attack on Asian Union...And there are many dead.”

Still unanimously not seeing why she was so pensive about or what the fuck the guy who couldn’t even manage to look at us, role was supposed to be. A me cajoled.

“Whats this got to do with me and why the tag along?”

To which she released a deep sigh and her leather armor creaked in concert, before she belatedly offered.

“Oh, that is new aide Neil...Last one was too weak...As for the killink...We think it was American Territorial Army…”

Well that just made our collective dung heap of a day a whole lot less spaghetti now didn't it!...Yet still worried about his level of security clearance, a me queried.

“Is it safe to talk in front of him?”

Almost absent minde-ly, Oksana added.

“Hmm? Oh yes…”

Before she focused an unhealthy grin on the man in question and continued.

“He knows what would happen if anythink we say is released to others...”

This caused the young brown haired man’s healthy tan to recede almost instantly and with a collective need to know more intensifying, a me prodded.

“And what exactly would happen if his loose lips sink our ships?”

Leading the gruff woman to quirk a brow in our direction and counter.

“What ships?”

Redundantly sighing a me laments.

“Just a saying… Anyway what would happen if he talks?”

Visibly sweating now the mute mans eyes dart from me to Oksana so fast if his body wasn't likely enhanced, we would have thought he was in need of an immediate exorcism. Thankfully she puts both of us out of our suspense as she all too readily provides.

“Oh just the usual of banishment from any of alliance dwellinks and such...Then there would be small matter of bounty on head…”

Scowling at the sheer level of joy she was deriving from torturing the poor lad, a me offers conspiratorially.

“Dont worry mate, I’m sure shes just joking about that last one.”

Before many me’s scrutinize the now stern faced Russian to add.

“Probabbly…”

Contrary to its intended effect, the statement doesn't seem to comfort the now excessively moist bloke in the slightest. Meanwhile another me points out that we’ve wasted too much time on pleasantries already and adds to the woman in question.

“So anyway, about the Asian Union...Do you happen to know if one of their Commanders named Kai was killed?”

She delivers a perplexed look our way to cautiously rejoin.

“Not that I am aware of...Why ask about him spesifikaly?”

Universally relieved we wouldn't have to go on a revenge rampage just yet, a me counters.

“Oh just one of the few decent and level headed people I’ve met in all this mess...Besides, can’t you deal with these one up-man-ship shenanigans, I mean isn't it what you literally promised me you’d do?”

To our collective surprise the normally stalwart woman takes to slumping in a chair opposite us before muleing whilst cradling her head in her hands.

“Yes i know i am idiot for thinkink i could make a horse skate on ice...”

Leading to an awkward silence to settle over the room...None of me being the type of people to kick someone while they’re quite clearly down, one of us constructively adds.

“So I guess I’m wiping out the Territorial Army then?”

To which she barks a laugh and perks up enough to counter.

“If only new world was so simple my grey monster...For start we have no proof of their involvement, then there is matter of you attacking one of alliance's factions.”

Unilaterally trying not to take her consistent name calling personally, a me shrugs to jest.

“I can take em.”

Leading to a snort being released from our minion's head honcho whilst her new aide seems to be having trouble getting enough air...Apparently completely indifferent to her employees oxygen levels, she churlishly rebukes.

“That is not point of matter and you know this…”

Then Oksana gives us a weighing look before continuing.

“Well in the chance you do not in fact know this, you must be seen to be above such squabbles and only intervene if you yourself are challenged directly.”

Shrugging once more, a me impishly endeavors to extract more revenge by renewing.

“Still, I reckon I could take em…”

And as the aide leans against the wall for support, Oksana plasters her face with her hands and fills the room with a loud laboured groan before lamenting.

“Every time! it is like dealink with child!”

Openly grinning at our collective, if infantile retribution, a me takes pity on her to offer.

“So you want me to abduct their leader and water board him then?”

She gives us a sidelong glance and begins.

“That could...No...Not yet at least...I think appealink to their greed might be better way to go about thinks.”

Emitting a groan of our own, a me laments.

“How many manamotes is this peace keeping mumbo jumbo gonna cost me this time…”

Releasing a gruff laugh, Oksana musses only partly to herself.

“It will not cost you currency in the form of mana...and seeink the Dimensional Siphons are apparently out of action till the phase two...It will have to be in one of the unclaimed Delta Zones…”

Huffing in annoyance, a me rejoins.

“Don’t you dare bloody tell me I have to level up some bell ends because they can’t fucking play nice you old goat!”

Chuckling now, the bane of our existence that is the abrupt and middle aged force to be reckoned with, counters with open glee.

“Oh but ‘Lord’ Benjamin, this is exactly what I am tellink you.”

Our twitching eye resurfaces with a vengeance as our knuckles pop from the stress they are subjected to, which only serves to increase the older woman’s mirth. Thankfully, she seems intelligent enough not to continue gloating by way of wisely offering a change of topic.

“Now this is settled, what was outcome of weekly checkink in with the delegates?”

Huffing once more a me actively relaxes our frame while another me churlishly offers.

“Just some trespassing crap that they should have well and truly been able to bloody solve themselves!”

Taking on a frankly condescending tone, Oksana furthers.

“And how did you respond?”

Scowl unanimously deepening, a me grudgingly permits.

“By not executing every motherfucking last one of them…”

The young man behind her chokes on something and she barks a laugh, before praising.

“See! This diplomacy think is not so hard yes?”

As one of me finishes huffing in yet more annoyance, another of me inquires of the barely recovered Neil.

“You need a drink of water or something there buddy?”

To which Neil looks at me's as if we’ve just asked him about a castration clause in his new employment contract that he'd clearly failed to read, before he only just manages to stammer.

“N-no Lord B-benjamin, I’m f-fine thank y-y-you!”

One of us growls at the fragile flunky and another me demands of his immediate superior.

“You told him to use that fucking title didn’t you!”

Releasing a *Pssssht* sound as she waves me of, Oksana far to casually adds.

“You are just beingk paranoid...Lord Benjamin.”

As many of me curse the day we agreed to any sort of dealing with this treacherous old coot, Neil unhelpfully adds.

“S-she’s t-telling the truth, L-Lo-”

But our accusatory plate mailed finger of warning halts his lies as the old goat furthers.

“See, imaginink thinks…”

A me continues to inspect the pair of insurgents dubiously while another me prompts.

“Anything else I need to know about, or can I go blow off some steam already?”

Sobering from her quiet mirth Oksana shifts in her seat and adds much too seriously for any of my’s liking.

“There is one more matter…”

Refusing to die in the suspense she is likely creating on purpose a me demands.

“Just bloody get it over with and TELL ME ALREADY!”

She goes wide eyed and flinches backwards. Neil however fares much worse by way of clutching his perforated, bleeding eardrums as he slumps down the wall and remains in a wide eyed fearful crouch.

Our old companion guilt makes a triplicate reappearance as one of us hastily retrieves a [Health Vapor Potion] before another me walks over slowly enough so as not to spook the injured new hire any more then we have. Handing the quivering young bloke the magical restorative, it takes him a few moments to register what it is and even longer to imbibe it. Largely hurried along no doubt, by Oksana’s gruff maternal assurances of its efficacy.

Once hes back on his feet and moved to a seat next to his boss, a me proffers.

“S-sorry about that kid...I guess you could call that an occupational hazard of your new job aye?”

Snorting derisively Oksana rejoins.

“You stupid horse with pedals! You need to learn to control...Whatever it is you did...Someone who has too little vitality could be killed because your simple loosing of lips!”

Nodding a me tries to save our faces by way of snarkily supplying.

“Sure thing, but you know what would really fucking help?”

And a twinkle enters her eye, but any of me are having none of it as the me heedlessly continues.

“Not having do deal with bloody ‘Diplomacy’!”

Taking a superfluous deep breath as we collectively realize that we almost sundered Neil's ear drums again, Oksana clears her throat to offer.

“If you are finished being the anus of the walrus, the thing I was wondering how to broach is about an...ex-employee by name of Jürgen...”

Scowling for what feels like the thousandth time today, a me asks all to trepidatious-ly.

“What about him?”

She provides me with her serious face once more and furthers.

“He is trying to raise army to overthrow you.”

Snorting so hard we loose our [Green Doi’kol Moss] beneath the table, all of me are subsequently re-acquainted with the stench of my fellow ex-humans. One of me endeavors to maintain a straight face at the re-acquisition of their unctuous aroma's...While another me tries to play down their abundance of stank as it counters.

“The ungrateful shit get many takers?”

Confusion flashes across her face before she re-schools it to add.

“I know you have soft spot for the boy...But this kind of think can spread and cause big problems…Especially considering how familiar he is with the way you...Work…”

Our armor rasps as we shift uncomfortably under her intense stare before a me rejoins with all the decibel friendly emphasis we can muster.

“Still not gonna fucking kill him alright?!”

Relenting she offers.

“Fine, but it is not my fau-”

Getting to our feet far quicker then we intended, the front of the white-stone like conference table splinters into the room, though thankfully it seems to largely miss the slow to react aide and his perpetual-thorn-in-our-rear of a boss.

Having unanimously had enough of pointless platitudes for the whole week, a me bites out.

“We done here?”

Dusting herself off dramatically Oksana adds in mock indifference.

“That is all for now Lord Benjamin...And try not to forget to say hello to Olivia for me, yes?”

This fucking old bat I swear to-

Another less incensed me points out that poor Neil is still in a pointless defensive curl in his seat and tries to pay it forward by offering.

“You did good today kid...Keep it up!”

Un-tensing long enough to reveal his wide eyes and a jerky nod of acknowledgement to our thumbs up, a me chalks it up as a public relations win and opens up a [Lesser Dimensional Portal] with a sufficiently unclaimed Delta Zone in mind.

Meanwhile, as much as another me tries to help stop it. Another other me's mind wanders to where it should not have.

And begins reliving the trauma that was the ‘successful’ fulfillment of our and The Gemini Olivia’s deal...