Katie looked in the mirror and sighed. It had been over a year since she started taking hormones. She was happy with the changes that were occuring—smoother skin, less body hair, breast development, and a rounder butt. However, the changes were much slower than she would have liked and she still didn’t really pass yet.
With her hair pulled back so that she could apply her makeup without it getting in her hair, she noticed her receding hairline, and heavy brow ridge. As soon as her makeup had started to dry, she combed her hair in front of her face and over one eye in an attempt to cover up the masculine features of her face as best she could. She was wearing her new summer dress and did a spin to cheer herself up, a hint of a smile coming to her lips as she felt the skirt of her dress flare out. But when she returned to face herself in the mirror, she couldn’t help but notice her broad shoulders. Her body had been permanently deformed by testosterone and there were some things that no amount of estrogen could undo.
Why did she wait so long before finally starting hormones? In retrospect, it was obvious that she had always wanted to be a girl, but was too wrapped up in denial to do anything about it until the dysphoria got so bad that she had no choice but to face it head on. “Stupid past self,” she chided, “why’d you have to be such a dense egg!” What she would give to go back in time and correct her past mistakes. Or better yet, to be born with the right body to begin with. “Stupid Y chromosome,” she yelled, “I wish I’d been born with two X-chromosomes like any other girl!“
“I could arrange that,” came the voice of her housemate, Gene, entering the room and standing next to her.
“What are you, a genie or something?” If only it were that simple. Although, come to think of it, her housemate was always a bit unclear about exactly what it was he did. He seemed to spend most of his time in his room ‘working from home’, but Katie had her suspicions.
“No. I’m a software engineer.”
“Speaking of which, who do you work for anyway?”
“I can’t tell you, they made me sign an NDA. But what I can tell you is that I help maintain a simulation. Fix bugs, merge changes, that kind of thing.”
“That’s cool, but how will that grant my wish?”
“I’m not a genie! I can't grant wishes. But I might still be able to help you."
"Don't worry, your secret is safe with me," replied Kaite with a wink.
Gene rolled his eyes, but continued. "Have you heard of the simulation hypothesis?”
“That our reality is just a computer simulation, like in the Matrix?”
“Yes. Well, it turns out it’s a buggy computer simulation, which is why it needs thousands of software engineers like me to help keep things running smoothly.”
“You can alter the source code of the universe? Like a god?”
“I’m not a god. I’m not a genie. I’m a software engineer! I don’t maintain the core code, and honestly, I don’t even understand most of it, but I can merge changes into this branch of reality. Technically, I’m meant to get a senior software engineer to approve any changes, but they got sloppy and forgot to revoke my access after the last time I needed to do a merge.”
“Wait, this branch?”
“Yeah, every time there is a quantum event, we fork reality into separate branches. Scientists would call it the many-worlds interpretation. It’s horribly inefficient, but it was easier to implement this way than trying to solve probabilistic equations.”
“So Schrödinger's cat really is both alive and dead?”
“In theory, yes. The cat would be dead in one branch but alive in the other. Although that experiment would also be considered animal cruelty. Which is why I recently implemented a special case to make sure the cat always lives if some sadistic so-called scientist tries it.”
“And there’s a branch where I was born with two X-chromosomes?” Katie asked hopefully, feeling excitement well up inside as she pinned her hope on the small chance that her housemate wasn’t pulling an elaborate early April fools joke.
“Bingo. I’ll do a search for a branch of reality where you were born with two X-chromosomes but everything else is more-or-less the same, then merge the changes into this branch.”
“You would do that for me?”
“Of course. I really care about you, and you deserve to be happy. Although we should probably inspect the branch before merging the change. Wouldn’t want another incident where we accidentally merge a branch with a deadly virus.”
“I’m going to meet my alternative self?” asked Katie excitedly.
“Well, not in person. We’re technically breaking company policy by interacting with other branches at all, although no-one takes that seriously anymore. As of 2020 we implemented a feature to connect via a Zoom call, which made it a lot easier to collaborate with our alternative selves in other branches.”
Katie sat patiently as her housemate Gene waited for the spinning loading bar.
Eventually a beautiful woman was seen on the screen, who reminded Katie of her sister. Katie reminded herself that this was not another sister, but rather herself! Or what she would have been if not for that fucking Y-chromosome.
“Wow, you look gorgeous,” said Katie.
“That’s very flattering,” replied the woman on the screen. “Although I’m a bit confused, I was told that I’d be meeting the male version of myself, and you seem to be dressed as a woman.”
Katie glanced at Gene, wondering what he had told her alternate self.
“What I said,” clarified Gene, “was she was the version of you born with a Y-chromosome.”
“If he was born with a Y-chromosome…”
“She,” clarified Katie. “I use she/her pronouns.”
“If he was born with a Y-chromosome,” continued Katie’s alternate self, “then I’m pretty sure I’m pretty sure he’s a man. Unless it works differently in your branch of reality?”
“No, but…” was all a shocked Katie could manage.
“The fork was at the time of birth, everything before that, including the way genetics work, is the same,” explained Gene. “The only difference is that my version of Katie got an X and a Y chromosome, whereas you got two X chromosomes. Other than that, you two are more or less the same.”
“Uh…” interrupted Katie “I’m not sure we’re the same Gene, she seems pretty, uh, different.”
“Well, she was raised as a girl rather than a boy, so it’s not surprising if there’s some social differences,” surmised Gene. “I know that missing out on a typical girl’s childhood is something that you regret. If I merge her branch, you will have her memories of being raised as a girl, and no memories of what it was like to be treated as a boy. You will be exactly like her. In fact, you will be her. Although in a way, you are already her.”
“Um, no I’m not,” stated Katie. “She doesn’t seem like me at all.”
“So no merge then?” asked Gene.
“No!” shouted Katie.
“Thank God,” remarked Gene. “I made you a promise, and I would have gone through with the merge if you asked, but I’m glad to keep this version of you. Alternate you kind of seems like a TERF.”
“Hey!” came alternate Katie’s voice from the screen. “I’m not a TERF! It’s not like I hate trans people or anything. I just have concerns about men claiming to be women so they can invade our single sex spaces. JK Rowling has some really insightful thoughts on th…”
Katie seized control of Gene’s mouse and clicked the ‘x’ at the top right of the window.
Ooo this is fascinating, thank you for sharing!!!