The house's yard is muddy due to the rain, but the air still felt fresh even though the temperature had risen as the sun started shining again. I stood in front of Uncle Elard's house, my uncle. My heart was pounding; I hesitated to knock on the door and announce my presence on his doorstep.
But I had made up my mind. Regardless of the facts I'd uncover, as long as I got my answers, I'd be satisfied. Besides, I had sent a message to my uncle that I would be dropping by; it wouldn't be right if I didn't keep my word.
Finally, I knocked on the wooden door three times, stepped back, and waited for the host to open his door for me. Despite being relatives, I couldn't just barge in. That's what Mother taught me, at least.
I heard footsteps approaching; the wooden floor creaked in unison. The door opened, and a middle-aged woman stood before me, Aunt Elly. Somehow, she was always the one who answered the door whenever I visited.
"Hello, Hana. Come in," she invited me with the gentle voice of an elderly woman.
"Hello, Aunt Elly. I want to meet with Uncle," I said.
"Yes, Uncle already told me. He's in the living room now. I will join you there, I still need to prepare tea and coffee for him first."
"Alright."
Aunt Elly led me to the living room and then went deeper into the house, to the kitchen. Glancing over there, in the middle left part of the house, there was a staircase leading to the second floor, which is being descended by a young boy about my age. He is Uncle and Aunt's youngest child, a quiet person, so I rarely talked to him.
I entered the living room and see Uncle sitting on the sofa with his back to me, looking at an old newspaper and wearing glasses. On the table, there were several servings of cakes and snacks for guests.
"Excuse me, Uncle," I called.
Hearing my call, Uncle lowered his old newspaper and turned his gaze towards me. "Ah, you're here. Have a seat," he said.
Following his command, I walked towards the sofa opposite Uncle Elard. I sat on the wooden-framed couch, in front of me was a glass table with a carpet underneath, separating me from him.
After I sat down, the atmosphere became quiet. The awkwardness between us was palpable because I didn't know how to start with the thing I want to discuss.
"So, what do you want to talk about? You seem very troubled," he said, accurately reading what was in my heart.
I took a deep breath, calming my mind and strengthening my resolve. I said, "...Uncle, is it true that Mom was born in this town?"
Surprised by my question, Uncle fell silent and stiffened, then slowly folded and placed his newspaper on the table, taking off his glasses.
"So, you do know," he said, smiling slightly.
"...I know from Moother's acquaintance here, a fireworks maker," I revealed the fact. I thought it better to tell him the details if I wanted complete information, but I decided not to mention Uncle Tio's name in this context.
"The fireworks maker? Ah, that old man Eric, right?"
Eric? So, Uncle Tio's name was Eric, huh? I didn't know because we all called him 'Uncle Tio.' Ah, my effort to keep his name a secret failed.
"Hana, we never intended to hide that from you. Regarding your question... yes, it's true, your mother was born in this town."
The fact I had already suspected, but my heart felt mixed emotions. Joy because I finally knew, bit by bit, about my mother, and disappointment because something as simple as that was never told to me directly.
"I see...," I replied lengthily, clenching my fists.
I tried to steady my heart. Took a deep breath to calm my mind. It wasn't important. No, maybe it was essential, but I couldn't accept it, and many questions bothered me. So, for now, I should be patient.
After calming down for a few moments, I spoke again, "In that case, why did my parents never tell me something as simple as that? Uncle and Aunt Elly also never seemed to mention it."
Because it is very odd. I had never asked about my parents' origins, but it was still very strange for my Father or Mother to not telling me where they lived before, who took care of them when they were little, our family besides Uncle Elard and Aunt Elly, and other things.
Hearing my serious-toned question, Uncle sighed and looked up at the ceiling of the house. "The reason, huh..."
The warm aroma of freshly brewed black tea filled the room. Soon after, Aunt Elly entered the room carrying a round wooden tray with three glasses of tea and a teapot if we wanted refills. She placed everything on the table without saying a word, although I noticed she gives a little smile earlier.
Then, Uncle shifted his gaze back to me. "Alright, listen carefully, I will tell you."
As if I were about to be narrated an ancient tale long buried deep within, I chose to remain silent.
"...Your mother, Nathalia Amber, was the youngest child from my Father's side. We were siblings who grew up together, showered with the same affection by our mothers. Since childhood, that was your mother's nature, kind-hearted and friendly. She couldn't even harm an ant. It was my duty as an elder brother to protect her at all times. At your age, she was already in her second year of high school. It was around that time that she began to feel liberated. She started searching for something within her that she wanted to dedicate herself to. Somehow, fireworks captivated her heart. She always liked fireworks shows, but I didn't expect her dedication would lead her to become a 'Fire Dancer,' haahhh...," Uncle Elard gave a long exhalation at the end.
Uncle Elard recounted the story like an old weary poet tired of telling the same tale repeatedly. He even sighed. No, perhaps he was just pondering why Mother chose fireworks over everything else in her life to be dedicated to.
Uncle continued, "And so, your Mother became a 'Fire Dancer,' after a long struggle through training and... your Grandfather."
Hearing his last words, I asked, "What about Grandfather?"
Wait, that wasn't the right question. I asked it because a normal person would assume they had older generations than their parents. But what if Grandfather s already...
"Oh, you haven't met him yet, have you? Well, that's understandable after what happened," he said. Based on his response, there was no indication that he had passed away, and his last words piqued my interest.
"I was never told about all of this..."
"Anyway, your Grandfather or my Father is a person who's difficult to communicate with. Ah, just listen to everything first. It will all make sense later. Alright, where were we..."
While waiting for Uncle to search for the continuation of his story, my mind kept replaying images of Mother's young life. She had lived here, played here, been happy here, cried here, experienced sorrow — everything a person my age should experience. Finally, I had reached this point, slowly opening my heart to accept it all.
The wall clock ticked above a hanging photo frame. Its rhythm could be turned into a melody in my heart.
"...Your mother became a 'Fire Dancer' for about three years, from the beginning of her high school until she graduated. Well, I must say, among all the Fire Dancers I've seen, your mother was the most dazzling. I'm not easily impressed, but even your strict Grandfather agreed. How could I not be impressed? Perhaps, in history, Nathalia Amber had already carved her name with her elegant dance of fire."
Even Uncle Elard was impressed. How many people admired my mother? Four, no, five. Having that thought, I couldn't hide my smile. Not because I was proud of my mother, no, I was proud, but it was the shared feeling we had towards one person that made me happy.
"I... always hoped I could be like my mother," I said.
As if reading my mind, Uncle said, "In terms of being a Fire Dancer?"
"Everything."
...
"It seems your determination is unshakeable. Alright, let's hear the rest of the story."
Uncle's last sentence somehow felt like a threat. Nevertheless, what Uncle said was true; my determination is unwavering. From the moment I first heard that my mother had lived here, I swore to myself that I would uncover everything. I had to overcome all obstacles to become like her.
"Your mother once told me that during her final year of high school, she met someone whom she wanted to dedicate her life to. She asked me to keep it a secret from our parents. When I asked why that person, she simply replied, 'I feel happiness from him and the future.' I could have betrayed her and told our parents, but for some reason, I chose to stay silent, and since then, I've almost regretted that decision."
He continued, clenching his palms slightly. "Four years passed after your mother graduated from high school; she chose to help at home while I was already married and working for the city government. I often went out of town, so I rarely saw my own family. One day, when I was at the central office, our mother called, her voice slightly panicked, urging me to come home quickly. I thought something serious had happened at home, maybe Father's illness flared up or something. I immediately requested emergency leave from my superior and rushed home. But when I arrived at home... it was truly absurd."
Uncle's story was interrupted when Aunt Elly suddenly entered the room, perhaps intending to join our conversation. Uncle Elard seemed to intend to involve her into our conversation because he willingly made room for her to sit.
"Seems like you're discussing something serious. Mind if I join?" she asked.
I didn't mind since I also wanted to see this issue from Aunt's perspective.
"Yes, I don't mind," I said, inviting her.
Aunt Elly sat down and inquired, "What are you two talking about?"
I didn't answer, Uncle did. "Nathalia Amber."
With a slightly surprised expression, she turned to me. Her reaction meant that she indeed knew something.
"...Is that so? Are you talking about the time your father came to propose to your mother?"
Huh?
I immediately looked at Uncle and, seeing my easily readable expression, he said, "Absurd, isn't it?"
I honestly don't have the words to say anything. Was Father always so straightforward? Maybe back then, yes. But to this extent? What did Mother see in a man like him? Ah, damn it. I started doubting my own parents because of this non sense.
In a normal situation, people usually approached the family of the person they wanted to propose to. But, it seemed Father was build different. Based on Uncle Elard's words, the one hiding their relationship was my Mother.
"So, what happened?" I asked.
"Of course, he was rejected. Not by your mother, but by our father," Aunt Elly replied.
Certainly, huh?
I wondered how Father managed to marry my mother. But, based on our life together, it didn't seem like something that went smoothly.
Aunt Elly continued, "Nevertheless, he persisted. Perhaps it was ingrained in his mind that he is on the path of Perseverance. No matter how many times he was kicked out, he didn't give up. He was insulted, looked down upon, belittled — every rejection that could be imaginable was done by your Grandfather. I, myself couldn't bear to hear it, let alone your mother, who saw her lover treated like that. Despite that..."
That surprised me a bit. I didn't expect Father to have such audacity. However, that story and my moments with him were enough of an answer, a confirmation that my father genuinely loved us as a family.
"...He never once wanted to cheat," Aunt added in a hushed tone.
What did she mean by that?
"Cheat? What do you mean, Aunt?" I asked.
"...," Aunt remained silent, perhaps not wanting to answer my question.
"Your mother... once told me that she asked your father to... elope with her," Uncle Elard answered.
Hah?! Seriously??!!
"Hah...?" I exclaimed, utterly shocked. I couldn't fathom what was going on in my parents' minds. Were they even sane?!
"...Well, I couldn't understand either. What drove my pure-hearted little sister to do such a thing? When I heard that, I was stunned beyond words," he said exaggerating, probably not.
He continued, "And your mother said, 'But sadly, he refused,' with a tone of sadness. 'Thank goodness,' I said; I really didn't know what I would have done if the two of them had run away. Since it was way beyond the limit of my tolerance, I told my Father about it. I told him everything, including the fact that she rejected his proposal. The next day, Father summoned him to our house. The man's face was visibly tense. It was as if he was preparing to endure all sorts of insults and curses, maybe even an outright rejection."
'I entrust my daughter to you...'
"That's what my Father said," he stated. Aunt Elly continued, "Instantly, both of them shouted with joy, and the man immediately prostrated himself in front of my father, thanking him and crying while being tightly held by your mother. However, not everything went smoothly."
'But both of you must never set foot on this land again.'
Wha...t?
"Everyone in the room was shocked, including me. Your mother covered her mouth while crying, and I, taken aback, tried to calm my father down and asked him to reconsider his decision for the second time, only to be snapped at, 'Begone, this is a conversation between me, my daughter, and her lover.' Your father tried to negotiate, asking for leniency so that your mother would at least be allowed to stay here. Because this place was her hometown. But unfortunately, my father's decision was final. Now, it's your mother's determination that will decide her fate."
I continued to listen to Uncle's story attentively, not letting a single word slip or leave through my left ear. I processed everything in my mind, trying to consolidate it into a coherent thought. But nothing made sense, and it gave me a headache. What is going on here?
Uncle Elard said that my mother had to face a difficult decision, choosing between losing her lover or her family, both of which she loved with all her heart. Uncle saw my mother's face as if she was undergoing excruciating pain. Nevertheless, she had to choose, and she had to steel herself and make a choice.
She choose her lover.
One night, not long after Grandfather lost his beloved daughter, Uncle Elard asked Grandfather if there was no other way. He said that Grandfather really loved my mother. He was willing to do anything for her happiness. The problem lay with my father. Grandfather thought that my father was not worthy to be with my mother, considering his educational background. My father wasn't someone who excelled in anything. Grandfather was worried about my mother's future with such a man. But it was already too late; my Grandfather's concerns had come true.
Parents striving to give their best to their child is never wrong.
That night, Uncle heard Grandfather sigh for the first time, a heavy sigh as if he was holding back tears.
He added that Father and Mother's wedding ceremony was held simply at my father's house. Not many from Grandfather's family came to bless the occasion. Only Uncle Elard and Aunt Elly attended as my mother's guardians because Grandfather didn't attend. Meanwhile, Father and Mother followed their agreement and swore not to return to my mother's hometown, albeit reluctantly."
Perhaps, I could paint a little picture of how my mother felt on that day. Sorrow.
"Roughly, that's the time when your mother was still young. What happens next, you should know better, shouldn't you?" Uncle said.
"...Yes," I replied shortly.
"Have your questions been answered?"
"..."
"Hana?" Uncle called. Oh, I was daydreaming again.
"...I'm sorry, Uncle. My mind still..."
"It's okay, this is a normal reaction. Take your time and think carefully about what you want to do now."
What did I want to do now, indeed? Did he think I would change my mind? Unfortunately, like my parents, I'm a stubborn child. The stories Uncle shared stirred a whirlwind of emotions within me. I felt a profound connection to my mother's past, her struggles, and her sacrifices. It was as if I was living her story through my own eyes.
Yes, uncertainty gripped me, but it was also liberating. At those very moments, I decided that I would honor my mother's legacy by embracing the essence of her spirit – her courage to defy norms and her passion for life. Truly now, I aimed to be the one who will make them see mother's light in my determination.
"Haha, my mind won't change, Uncle," I said softly.
Hearing my statement, Uncle smiled slightly. He straightened his posture and said, "You are indeed their child," then laughed, a smile can also be seen from Aunt Elly. I laughed along with the both of them, embracing my decision.
"By the way, how's your father doing? Busy as usual?" Uncle asked me as I stood in front of his house about to leave.
"I often exchange messages and call him. I heard he's doing fine and might be working more easily because I'm staying here," I replied.
"Hah! Useless! If abandoning your child just to come home early is his nature, I can see why he failed as a father," He scolded Father without the presence of my father being here.
It seemed like Uncle's criticism was a bit exaggerated, I might say.
"Not at all, Uncle. If I can help my father in any way, I'll do everything I can," I responded.
"You're too kind for him."
"I think so. Well then, I should head home. Thank you and sorry for the trouble," I said.
"It's okay. I was just telling an old story. Alright, be careful on your way."
I hurriedly left Uncle's house, slightly concerned about those who were currently in my house. Maybe.
I stood in front of the door. I didn't see their shoes outside; had they already left? I quickly turned the doorknob. Huh? It wasn't locked. I entered and heard a commotion - a girl's voice mixed with a boy's and the sound of a television playing.
"Ah! Hana. Sorry, we used your place without permission," Chika said, focused on playing a game console that had just been fixed.
"How rude. I told her to leave if she wanted to play," Arkan retorted, also while playing. Though, I do think Arkan needed a mirror.
As I stood there, watching Chika and Arkan engrossed in their game, I realized how much my life was entwined with the people around me. The bond I shared with my parents, the newfound understanding of their challenges, and the unconditional love they had for me became even more apparent because of these two supports.
It seemed like they were playing together; both of them were focused on the TV screen. "Argh! Damn it, how did you suddenly become so good?!" Chika exclaimed. Arkan didn't respond and just smiled proudly; honestly, his expression was annoying.
As I gazed at the screen where Chika and Arkan battled in their virtual world, I found the resolve to embark on my own journey, one that was uniquely mine. Suddenly, Uncle's words echoed in my mind: "Think carefully about what you want to do now." It was true; I had to make a decision. I couldn't just live my life following someone else's footsteps, even if that someone was my own mother. I had my dreams, my aspirations, and my individuality.
But it was just so coincidentally that me and my Mother shares the same perceptive.
I approached them and asked, "Haha, what are you guys playing?"
