Today is rainy, not heavy, not drizzling. A calming Friday shower for many. Just a humid summer rain with the sound of droplets falling on hard surfaces... but why do I feel so cold? 

Whether it's because the girl's toilet in Building B is unusually chilly in the corner or because all my clothes are wet, making me shiver? If so, what is this cold feeling in my heart? A bitter feeling, a familiar one. 

After thinking about it a bit more, an unpleasant memory jumps up to fill my mind. Ah, of course. It's just like it used to be.

I hug myself with both hands, trying to warm up while sitting on the white toilet, surrounded by thin iron walls with a door right in front of me. The top and bottom parts of this toilet have sizable gaps. At the bottom, the silhouette and shadows of someone are reflected.

I can hear the inhales and exhales from my trembling mouth. My sighs are loud, and among those breaths, sounds from outside this toilet can be heard. They are laughing gleefully. The laughter of one—or a few girls who are currently enjoying a ridiculous performance by a circus clown.

The laughter stops, followed by rough breaths that sound satisfied, as if they've had enough of funny joke. The remnants of that laughter sound creepy and full of vengeance, it made me shiver.

"Feel it."

***

Monday, one and a half months have passed since I've been to second grade.

It's so strange. Truly nonsensical. I've been in a uncomfortable positions like this almost all the time. Damn, can't this curse stop haunting my untroubled soul? Since junior high, it's been like this. This joke isn't funny at all!

I grumble about always ending up in the uncomfortable window seat position. I got this seat on the first day of class, two weeks ago. We all got random numbers related to the desks we would sit at, and for some reason, I always get the same seat since then. Many might disagree if I say this seat isn't comfortable. Many say it's the best position as it has access to a fairly wide view outside the school. However, it's hard for me to agree with that opinion.

Why? Firstly, the landscape view of the second-floor building for us second graders isn't that fascinating, to be honest. The school complex full of 90°-shaped buildings isn't charming to look at. The layout of the school complex can also be considered monotonous when seen from this classroom's angle. 

Secondly, maybe it's just the wrong moment of time or something, but during summer like this, the breeze that blows is genuinely dry and hot. So, trying to reduce the heat by the window wind is useless. Not to mention the sunlight piercing through is scorching. Even my seat in the first grade was better because it faced the school field.

Well, that's how it is. Besides, it's now the second break. I was hungry during the first break and decided to eat early lunch, so now I'm not doing anything other than sitting in my chair, supporting my chin with my palm.

"I'm bored," I mutter to myself. Then, buried my face deep under my arms. Just closing my eyes, hoping to at least have a quick nap.

By the way, how is Hana doing?

...

No need to think about it anymore, I guess.

Well, she should be fine. Sometimes I see her with some girls I don't know. They're probably her friends from the new class. Though, looking at around those girls make me feel she doesn't fit in, somehow. It's not like we know each other thoughts to the extent that I can tell she's having fun or not, maybe it's just my short-sighted view as a unsociable guy when seeing her like that. But for some reason, my heart still feels stirred when I see her. Well, to be honest, I think she's grown well, considering her past shenanigans.

...

"Wait, why do I sound like a proud parent?" I correct my thoughts.

Trying to straighten out my weird thoughts, I stand up. Then, suddenly, Chika Rain has shown herself right in front of me.

"Let's go. We're going to class 2-B," she says firmly but softly.

At the very least, I know the reason she invites me.

 

Though, I know she's a bit worried and anxious, but does it have to be like this? Look, now she's laughing with other girls, isn't that something to be thankful for?

Honestly, I really don't want to accept the fact that I'm involved in something that can be categorized as impolite or even suspicious behavior. Yeah, right. We're just observing someone from afar. There's no need to call security guards or the police, we're genuinely not doing anything suspicious.

My mind is desperately searching for reasons for our genuinely suspicious behavior. My morality, which is as thin as paper, can't accept this. Well, yeah, this only applies if I do it. If it someone else...

I turn my view to Chika, who is crouching beneath me – hiding – showing only a slightly pouting face to the group of girls who are currently with Hana. How pathetic is this societal trash I'm looking at?

Well, thank goodness I still have a morality as thin as a sheet of paper.

"Are you satisfied? Come on," I say with annoyance.

"W-Wait a bit more," she says while holding a part of my uniform.

I continue with a rather teasing tone, "You look so tormented looking at her."

"How very kind of you, pretending to care," she retorts.

Ugh, who wants to care about you, idiot.

Rather than that, our figure lurking behind the girls who are enjoying their break in the cafeteria looks truly pathetic. They're chatting and joking around, but, as I think it is—

Hana really doesn't seem to fit in.

Ah, there's one more person I notice that doesn't fit among that group. A girl. Her hair extends backward to her neck, and her bangs slightly cover her face, so I can't see her face well from afar. Her body posture is also slender. Well, knowing someone else's body proportions doesn't mean I'll recognize her, though.

Because I think we've played enough, and we've spent quite a bit of break time, I force Chika to go back to class. "Alright, no more acting like some jealous kid. Let's go back," I say while pulling Chika's uniform collar.

"O-Oi! That hurts, you know!" she yells while enduring my pull.

"Besides, you still have math homework, right? The schedule starts after-break, it's better if you do it now," I continue, aggravating the wound.

"I-I'll do it later! So, please! N-No! Hana!!!" she responds, screaming while tightly holding the corner of the wall with all ten of her fingers.

Successfully releasing her grip, I pull her strongly, then turn around to see Chika, who I've dragged, waving her pitiful hand. For a moment, I sees Hana's face looking in our direction.

***

Was that Chika's voice earlier? I don't know why my head heard her voice buzzed, calling my name. Not good, I'm getting the feeling I just want to run away and meet her now.

"Hana, what do you think about this? Is it good?" Lilia asked. I quickly turned my gaze and saw Lilia offering some kind of candy-looking snack from the canteen shelf.

"I-I don't know. I've never tried it," I replied while looking at the candy.

"Alright, I'll give it a try. Laura, mind treating?" she continued, turning to Laura.

Laura, startled, replied, "Huh? Well, if it's just one..."

"Yeah, one. Each," she replied.

"W-what?..." Laura hesitated.

"Please, I left my money in my bag at the class," Lilia continued, insisting.

"I didn't even bring my wallet!" Marsha interrupts, though it seems she just telling the truth since she literally grab her empty pocket to show it.

I saw Laura getting cornered by Lilia and Marsha, while Alisha just watched from behind. Seeing her increasingly cornered, I spoke up. "Lilia, it seems like Laura didn't bring much money, how about later?" I tried to mediate.

Lilia turned to me with a flat and expressionless face.

"Well, if that's the case, isn't it a problem?" she said with a slightly raised tone.

I felt confronted by her. However, I'm used to it. It's been almost two months since we were in the same class. Her treatment of Laura hasn't changed at all. I heard from Laura that the four of them have been in the same class since the first year.

"How about you, Hana? Mind treating us?" Marsha asked me.

With that question, I replied, "Sorry, I didn't bring enough money."

After getting an answer like that, Marsha's gaze looked sharp and cold. Her facial expression indicated that she was angry. Right away, she responded with very loud and harsh words.

"Hah?! If you don't want to, you should have said it earlier!" she shouted and stared at me with a sharp and sarcastic look.

Huh? Why is she the one that got angry?

I actually really want to say something to fight back, but I'm sure it will only backfire. Therefore, I tried to calm myself. No need to create useless commotion in the public space.

"Alright, alright. Stop, both of you," Lilia intervened. "... Marsha, that's enough," she continued, turning to Marsha. As if ordered by her owner, Marsha followed her command like a dog being told by its owner and would be rewarded with a snack. Although I sees Marsha's gaze still full of a sarcastic view.

Then, Lilia approached me until her lips were right next to my right ear, and with a cold tone, she said, "I gave you a chance," and moved away from both of us. 

I sighed in relief when I saw them disappear after turning at a corridor junction. At that moment, Laura held my hand. She didn't say anything, and I felt uneasy about looking back. Because, maybe just for a bit, I know what she feels.

***

At that moment, I already knew that I would be the one highlighted with the troublesome spotlight. I already knew, that's why I did what I believed was right, because either my decision of doing it or not doing it, it would still be the same in the end. Seeing a friend that share the same pain getting treated like that, I was already fed up. That's what prompted me to step on the gas. No need to fear, I had predicted this would happen. Even this is nothing compared to the past.

If compared, all of this is still easy to get through. Lately, for example, the missing notebook. A classic act, slightly inconvenient, but I easily found it, in the trash. Next, if I'm not mistaken, my bag, and I easily found it again, also in the trash. It was so easy that I almost forgot about the incidents. I didn't even need to bother asking for the my homeroom teacher's help. Well, even though many other things happened, I easily got through them all. However, the same cannot be said for Laura.

The incident that really made my blood boils was when I searched for Laura who went missing after skipping two schedules. That day was Friday, after the first break and during the beginning of the second break. 

Laura was nowhere to be seen during those two class schedules, neither was Lilia and her friends. I was a little worried, searching everywhere during the second break. Sure enough, the sound of silent sobbing could be heard from the girls' toilet in the corner of building B. I approached one of the wet toilet stalls, knocking on its loud metal door.

 

Ironically, at this very moment, I feel the exact same thing. The same treatment, the same place, and a similar time, maybe the only difference this time is that it's around four in the afternoon. 

The school bell rang quite a while ago, indicating that school has finished for today and this week. Ah, the humidity in the room might also be the same as back then, with a chilling cold feeling. The wetness on my body makes me shiver like a vibrating phone.

I exhale warm breath from my mouth, directing it to my wet hands. Never mind, I can't even generate warmth for myself. For a moment, I feel pain in my right ankle, and after rubbing it, I discover a bruise around the ankle. It seems the injury occurred when I was forced getting into this stall.

"... How about it? Satisfied with your shower?" someone says from behind the door.

"Well, at least she doesn't smell anymore," adds another person.

Then, a brief silence, until, "I actually wanted to savor you in the end, Hana," says a girl whose voice I recognize. No, I know all the voices of the two girls before as well. However, the one speaking with a cold tone, I'm sure is Lilia. "... But because you started acting on your own, I had to be a little rough," she continues.

Acting on my own? Ah, I didn't even think about it. Because I guessed I would definitely be targeted in the end, I didn't think too much about the consequences of my actions. However, upon reflection, maybe it's because of the incident this morning. 

On that morning, during the first break, Laura was surrounded by the three of them. Well, no matter how you look at it, it's bullying because of their disruptive actions. Despite that, no one looked at the incident, all of my classmates. Then, of my own accord, I went to the teacher's room to report the bullying incident. A teacher on duty came with me, they must have seen it. As expected, they were taken to the counselor's room. Even after that, I only got weird looks from some people in the class.

"You know, I have connections here. Someone quite influential. So, you don't need to bother doing all this. It's useless," Lilia says with a firm and loud tone.

Oh, so that's it. That's why I got those weird looks. Maybe those who already knew about Lilia Hasya were trying not to get involved. Well, it's actually better to be, "Yeah, she did something bad, but what can you do. It's pointless," like everyone else.

By the way, how about Laura now? It's already the time to go home.

"Sorry, but this time I won't let you off," Lilia continues.

Laughter echoes. I just sit on the toilet seat, clenching both of my hands tightly.