ZaiWin felt as if his head was splitting in half, and held on to the rowdy but familiar flow of his own energy. This was his body. And it hurt like fuck right now! But it was his body! And so he forced himself to open his eyes.

Gasping for air, his lungs burned making him cough, and a mouthful of blood sprayed from his lips.

Shit! He was in serious trouble, he quickly concluded, making an effort to raise his head. He could barely breathe anymore, his internal organs slowly but surely turning into mush. Everything around him was emitting a red glow. The entire plateau was covered by that damned array, and it had actually spread farther than that. And, in the center of it, was Snow, still sitting on his heels, his back very straight, his silver hair dancing in the wind and glistening in tones of blood. At first glance, ZaiWin¹Literally zai (blade) + win (chaos). thought that the red glow of the array was reflecting in his eyes as well, but then he realized that was not the case. His eyes had actually changed color, again. And they were now as red as the markings covering the ground.

“Snow …” he croaked, his mouth tasting like blood, his chest wheezing with every breath. He didn’t dare speak any louder than that, for fear of triggering another coughing fit.

Even though the boy had his eyes open, he clearly wasn’t there at all.

ZaiWin carefully breathed in, and made an effort to raise one hand and touch his face.

ZaiWin’s vision was quickly going out of focus and he was clearly running a high fever. He’d been away for too long, he chastised himself. He’d lost himself inside Snow’s memories, and had forgotten that he was supposed to watch over him, to control him. And why was there an entire freaking array?! He was sure he’d only activated one of Snow’s daitai²Literally dai (light) + tai (mark), or holy Markings, considered Heavenly Blessings. They’re the source of power.! Shit! If this went on he was most definitely going to die.

“Snow … wake up … come back …”

His head feeling too heavy for him to hold up, ZaiWin leaned forward and rested his forehead against Snow’s. His skin was always cool and it felt really good against his burning forehead.

“I’m sorry … please wake up … Damn brat … Can’t you hear me …? Come back to me!”

To ZaiWin’s relief, Snow finally blinked. And then blinked again. And then those red-blood eyes were staring straight at him.

ZaiWin smiled and closed his eyes, two warm tears rolling down his face.

“Finally …”

Snow felt the hot hand against his face slide down his cheek and saw ZaiWin simply fall to one side on the ground.

For a moment he just sat there, too shocked to process what was happening, until a cold fear finally crept into his chest.

Blinking, he looked at the man lying on the ground right in front of him, at his unmoving body, and he suddenly couldn’t breathe.

ZaiWin’s face was bloody everywhere, traces of tears of blood streaking down his cheeks, and all of the sudden, for a split second, the man lying in front of him wasn’t ZaiWin anymore. He had fiery-red hair instead of deep-black, and he looked older. The blood, however, was still there, marring his deadly-pale skin.

With an agonizing whimper, Snow was finally able to move, his entire body shaking in horror. And the moment he managed to drag himself away from the center of the red array, it quickly shrunk back and disappeared.

His hand trembling uncontrollably, Snow fearfully touched ZaiWin’s cold, pale face. ZaiWin had been burning up just a few moments ago, but now he felt as cold as a slab of stone. There was blood coming from everywhere, from his ears and nose, even from the corners of his eyes and mouth.

With his heart slowly braking inside his chest, Snow instinctively knew that ZaiWin was dying. Fat, heavy tears blurred his vision and fell from his eyes, landing on ZaiWin’s bloody face. He had killed him!, Snow knew without a doubt.

Holding ZaiWin’s face between his trembling hands, he gently turned him his way. He hated the sight of blood, but such a thing didn’t even cross his mind when he pressed his trembling lips against his. Snow’s mouth was immediately flooded by the coppery taste of blood, but he still forced ZaiWin’s mouth open, pushing his tongue inside it, as deeply as possible.

It wasn’t working!, he immediately knew. ZaiWin’s life was still quickly fading, driving Snow to the edge of desperation.

Feeling lost, Snow looked around until his gaze landed on a jagged rock. Moving as quickly as he could, he dragged himself on his hands and knees to retrieve it, before quickly returning to ZaiWin’s side. Grabbing the rock, he tore his wrist open as deeply as he was able to, the too-familiar pain making him feel sick and dizzy. Still, he pressed his opened wound against those already bloody lips and waited, and watched through his tearful, blurry vision, his entire life on hold.

He wanted him back!, Snow realized, his mouth tasting bitter at the possibility that that might just not happen. The pain in his chest at the thought that he might lose him was so unbearable that he couldn’t breathe, that he felt as if his entire body was being torn into small pieces. He wanted to die. If ZaiWin didn’t wake up he wanted to die. And not because of some stupid, incomprehensible bond! He wanted to die because he didn’t want to live in a world where he didn’t exist anymore.

Sobbing softly, Snow leaned his forehead against ZaiWin’s unmoving chest. The wound on his wrist was already closing, but he still refused to remove his hand. He wished he had one of those detestable silver knives. That way he could feed him way more blood.

“LanRan³Literally lan (white) + ran (moon) …” he breathed, tears falling from Snow’s eyes like endless rain. He didn’t want to move anymore. He didn’t want to think anymore.

“LanRan …” Images of that red-haired person flashed before his eyes again. They didn’t make any sense, but they made him feel even worse, even sadder. He didn’t want to have to go through that again …

“LanRan …” If ZaiWin had to die, then they could all die as well.

A child’s voice echoed inside his head. “I wish I could kill them all.”

That’s right … why not?

“LanRan …”

If they all died there would be no more sadness, no more pain. Wouldn’t that be fine as well …? Just thinking about that he couldn’t feel sad anymore, he couldn’t feel anything at all.

Snow closed his eyes, feeling suddenly relaxed for the first time in a long while. Death wasn’t that bad. It was silent and serene.

“LanRan …”

“I know I’ve never told you this before …” a weak, cracked voice said, making Snow open his eyes with a startle, his heart suddenly coming back to life, beating even stronger and faster than before. “But you can never … say that name … in front of other people … Do you … understand?”

Still fearing he might be hearing things, Snow slowly raised his head and fearfully glanced ZaiWin’s way. And the deep-blue eyes that stared back at him stole his breath away.

“Do you understand …?” ZaiWin insisted, his voice barely audible, and Snow nodded. At that moment he would have nodded to anything ZaiWin might have said.

Suddenly, all the sadness he had felt came crashing back down on him, and even though it was now mixed with a deep feeling of relief, Snow still couldn’t stop his eyes from filling up with tears that quickly rolled down his cheeks.

Silvareiel

Hmm ... Who after this thinks that is a good idea do kill ZaiWin and leave Snow alive? ? I’m not one to speak, but it sounds to me like a reaaalyyy bad move ?