Snow opened his eyes with a startle. His heart was beating so hard inside his chest that it was hard to breathe. He felt lost and confused. Even more so when he became aware of the warm arm weighing around his waist. Until he saw ZaiWin’s sleeping face.
Blinking twice, he made sure he took a good look at him. Black eyebrows and jet-black hair. He felt himself shiver. No red hair anywhere. Also, ZaiWin’s nose was narrower, his lips fuller, his features more delicate.
What was going on …?
Those weird dreams of his were getting longer and more detailed with every passing time. Not to mention more … intimate and personal. And they all felt so real that Snow couldn’t help bringing back all those foreign emotions with him, every time he woke up. Almost as if he had actually lived through those events and were now merely recalling them. And yet he was sure he had never seen that red-haired man before, much less met him. He was certain that he would have remembered him, even if he had been drugged at the time. There was no way he’d ever be able to forget the scary intensity of those green eyes.
The most disturbing part, however, was that, in his dreams, he was still himself! Sure, his hair was much longer, almost as long as ZaiWin’s. But, that apart, he was still the same. The same body, the same hair-color, the same voice.
His personality and way of thinking were a bit different, though. The Snow in his dreams was much more confident and bold, and a lot less cautious. He was also a lot more honest and impulsive, to the point that Snow couldn’t help feeling embarrassed at the memory of some of the things he’d done and said in his dream. But, what was even more disturbing, was the fact that he could still clearly remember how important that red-haired man had been to him, a deep sadness constricting his heart at the thought that he would never be able to actually see him, to actually talk to him, to actually feel the warmth of his touch. It was almost how he felt about Sand. And he wanted to cry at the irremediable loss of someone extremely dear and precious to him.
Which was wrong!, he knew, staring at ZaiWin’s relaxed, sleeping face. That red-haired man only existed in his dreams, but his heart couldn’t help feeling torn. Because there he was, lying beside someone else, allowing someone else to touch him. When he had just promised in his heart that he would always stay with another person. That he would die, if that person were to disappear from his life. And yet, even though in his dream being kissed by LanWan had felt amazing, as he laid there, wide awake, he couldn’t help feeling disgusted at the mere thought of kissing some strange man like that, much less allow him to touch him … and …
His cheeks suddenly ablaze, something else crept into his awareness. And Snow sat up with a jump, almost falling off the narrow bed.
ZaiWin grunted a complaint and, at the sound of his deep voice, Snow urgently collected the blanket around his waist and turned his back on him.
“Snow? Are you all right?”
His heart was beating so loud inside his chest that Snow could hardly hear ZaiWin’s sleepy voice. Praying with all his might that ZaiWin would simply go back to sleep, he quickly nodded.
The way the mattress shifted beneath him told him he wouldn’t be so lucky, and Snow raked his head, trying to figure out what to do about his current situation.
It wasn’t as if he could just run out the door! For starters, the door was frozen shut, and he was in no condition to be able to unfreeze it. If anything, he was just one inch from freezing the entire room, the man lying beside included! And then there was the problem that he was completely naked, his clothes hanging from one of the chairs where ZaiWin had placed them so that they could dry.
“Hey. What’s wrong?”
The soft touch of warm fingers against his naked shoulder made him immediately cringe, and Snow quickly pulled his knees to his chest, burying his forehead between them.
ZaiWin blinked at that unexpected reaction. Sure, he had seen him shy away from his touch on several occasions, but never like this, as if he simply couldn’t stand the feeling of his skin. Was he sick? Was he in pain?, he wondered, trying to catch a glimpse of Snow’s face. But all he could see were his beet-red ears, sticking out from amongst his disheveled silver hair. And then he noticed it. The way he kept clenching that blanket around his waist as if his life depended on that.
Was it possible …?, he wondered, taking another good look at him, at the way he was hunching over himself, his small shoulders shivering ever so slightly.
Well, ZaiWin had seen first-hand that, as far as he could tell, Snow’s body worked just the same way as anyone else’s, he considered. And there was the possibility that, thanks to his ... devious behavior, Snow’s pure, childish mind might have been ... led astray?
Releasing a deep sigh, ZaiWin placed a heavy hand on his head and, sure enough, Snow tried to recoil from his touch. He would probably have disappeared if he could.
“Hmm, did you have a happy dream?” ZaiWin asked, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible, and Snow’s entire body went immediately rigid. “That’s what ZenTar used to call them. You know? There’s nothing to feel embarrassed about. Everyone has them. Especially annoying brats about your age.”
Snow grunted something unintelligible and ZaiWin smiled, knowing that he was most definitely complaining from the fact that he had called him a brat.
“I used to have them too,” he went on, gently caressing his head, and Snow’s stiff shoulders seemed to relax a bit. “I still have them, from time to time. It’s quite natural. So, hmm … you can wait until it gets back to normal. A cold bath can also help. Or you can always try touching yourself. I can give you some privacy.”
Snow’s entire body went immediately rigid again, leaving a heavy sigh on ZaiWin’s lips. He really needed to unblock Snow’s rigid mindset about such things.
“It is your body, you know? What’s the problem with touching it?”
As to be expected he didn’t receive a single reply, not even a sound. He might as well have been talking to a wall. Which was more than a bit annoying.
Looking at the small human ball he had become, ZaiWin wondered about what to do. He really wished he could make him at least look at him.
“You know, leaving it like that will only make you uncomfortable,” ZaiWin went on. “Want me to leave?”
Still, no response. He was obviously being blatantly ignored. And, knowing Snow the way he did, Snow would probably keep ignoring him, no matter what he said. Which actually irked him a lot.
“Fine!”
If words weren’t working he might as well go into action instead. After all, Snow was obviously making a tempest in a teapot over that entire matter.
Grabbing Snow’s shoulder, ZaiWin pulled him down onto the bed, quickly straddling him like a wild cat.
Snow’s dark eyes widened in complete shock, before he tried his best to push him back and sit up again.
ZaiWin grabbed the hand currently pushing his chin, forcing his head to look to his right, and swiftly slid his other hand beneath that blanket, easily finding the cause of all that commotion.
Oh. He had been right, ZaiWin thought, an almost uncontrollable excitement vibrating from the depths of his chest.
Snow jumped, a loud gasp escaping his mouth, and he immediately tried to push his arm away, forcing ZaiWin to capture his hands again.
“Don’t! Let go!”
“Calm down,” ZaiWin tried to appease him, but he could as well have been talking to a rock. And so he decided to stop him the only way he was sure it would work. By softly squeezing the hardness pressing against his palm and moving his hand.
Snow gasped again and immediately shut his mouth, fiercely biting his lower lip, all fight gone from his shaky hands.
Lowering his head, ZaiWin placed a light kiss on Snow’s stiff shoulder, and nuzzled his way to his beet-red ear.
“Stop biting your lip, Snow,” he whispered against his skin, pressing a thumb against his soft mouth, and Snow immediately complied, parting his lips, his warm breath caressing ZaiWin’s hand.
“If you want to bite on something, you can bite my hand,” he purred into his ear and slid his thumb inside Snow’s hot mouth.
Snow tried to complain, but all ZaiWin had to do was move the hand lost between his legs, and what had been a complaint immediately transformed into an erotic moan that made ZaiWin chuckle.
Nibbling his ear, ZaiWin slid his thumb out of his mouth so that Snow could breathe more easily, the sound of his gasps and panting filling the room. The sound of Snow’s unrestrained voice felt like feathers, softly caressing ZaiWin’s skin, as if he could absorb that amazing sound through every nerve ending in his body.
He was getting wet, ZaiWin realized, his hand sliding more easily, and Snow tried to desperately hold on to him.
“It’s okay, Snow. Look at me.”
Snow felt warm fingers turn his chin and squeezed his eyes shut with even more determination. He was feeling dizzy again. He was drowning again. Hot lips pressed against his forehead in a gentle kiss and his heart hurt because he couldn’t help yearning for more. ZaiWin’s hand was driving him crazy, his mind going completely blank. And even though he had shamefully dreamed about something similar just now, nothing could ever compare to the real thing.
“Look at me, little one,” the request came again and, for once, he didn’t mind being called little.
Feeling his cheeks burn, Snow opened his eyes and looked up at ZaiWin. Bright-blue eyes smiled back at him and ZaiWin kissed the tip of his nose, his slick fingers taking their time caressing the aching part of his body, making him want to move against his warm hand until that maddening pressure could be released.
“Nnn … don’t … touch …” he managed to mumble and the sound of a low chuckle vibrated through his entire body, sending shivers down his spine.
“Don’t you mean, touch more?”
“I can’t …” think, he couldn’t finish the sentence. But then he knew what ZaiWin would answer to that. Then, don’t think.
The feeling of ZaiWin’s breath against his neck, of his lips licking and sucking his tender skin, sent ripples of pleasure down to his lower body, his toes curling every time that hand slowly slid up and down, clearly teasing him, slowly driving him crazy.
“Ah … LanRan … it feels … weird …”
ZaiWin chuckled again. He could feel him harden under his palm, Snow’s legs moving restlessly, as if he couldn’t find the right position for them. They should be wrapped around his waist, ZaiWin groaned in his thought, the memory of how good it felt when Snow had squeezed him between them flooding his mind. He really wanted to be there again. And how easy it would be, parting those trembling knees and fitting himself between them, his naked body against his, skin against skin.
The cold fingers resting on his shoulder dug into his flesh and he knew Snow was close to his limit. Opening his mouth against Snow’s throat, ZaiWin moved his hand a bit faster, the shameful, erotic sounds of how wet Snow’s lower parts were reaching his ears. And then Snow’s entire body went stiff and shuddered, a loud moan of pleasure and relief leaving his parted lips as his head tilted back, offering him complete access to his beautiful neck. Something hot and wet covered ZaiWin’s hand but he still didn’t let go, slowly moving his fingers up and down, Snow’s body shuddering every time he did so. With his mouth pressed against Snow’s throat, every new moan that rolled off his lips was sent directly onto his tongue. ZaiWin could feel every little sound, every small vibration, every light sigh, until all tension abandoned Snow’s body, and all that was left was his fast panting and the loud sound of his heart.
Snow felt the hot lips glued to his throat move and he couldn’t help complain at the loss of that warmth. He was barely awake now, his body feeling heavy but strangely comfortable. The hands that touched him made his skin tingle, making him shiver. Even though he could barely formulate a coherent thought he could clearly tell where ZaiWin was touching him. And then warm arms were gathering his limp body and gently cradling it. And even though he still felt as if his entire being had just been shattered into tiny pieces he wasn’t afraid anymore. He knew that, no matter what, as long as those arms were around him, he would be safe.
Allowing himself to lean back against that warmth, feeling ZaiWin’s warm breath caress the top of his head, Snow fell deeply asleep.
Language:
ZaiWin: Literally zai (blade) + win (chaos).
LanWan: Literally lan (white) + wan (fire).
LanRan: Literally lan (white) + ran (moon).
