With urgent hands, fearing he might shout at him again, Snow undressed his coat, tunic and undertunic as fast as he could.

“Now, sit down.”

Feeling a bit chilly and more than a bit nervous, Snow obeyed. But the moment the black monster disappeared from his line of sight he couldn’t help feeling tense and apprehensive.

“Now, close your eyes and relax.”

Even though he didn’t feel like it, closing his eyes was easy enough. The relaxing part, however, was an entire different matter.

“Since you don’t even know where they are or what they mean, I will try and activate one of them. All you have to do for now is clear your mind and allow it to speak to you. Some people will see things, others will hear words. Don’t worry about any of that. Just focus on understanding its nature, even if you can’t really put it into words. Understanding the nature of a daitai¹Literally dai (light) + tai (mark), or Holy Markings, considered Heavenly Blessings. They’re the source of power. is the first step in learn how to control it.”

Snow nodded. It made sense, he told himself, forcing his shoulders to relax, trying to clear his mind like ZaiWin²Literally zai (blade) + win (chaos). had instructed. However, the minute something warm softly touched his back he couldn’t help jump, leaning forward away from his touch, his entire body tense all over again.

“Seat still!” the monster told him angrily, and he tried, he did try, straightening his back, forcing himself not to move when he touched him again. “You’re too tense!”

Yes. Yes he was, Snow agreed, urgently telling himself to relax. But his heart kept beating so fast that he had to breathe harder to keep up with it. And every time he managed to relax his shoulders his hands would tense up and vice versa. Not that this was the first time the monster saw or touched his back, he scolded himself. But if the situation had been stressful enough before, now, added to the fact that he didn’t know what was going to happen, it was almost unbearable.

“You fucking brat! Are you that afraid of other people touching you?”

Yes! Yes he was! More than being afraid, he simply hated the entire sensation all together! It made him feel sick, he thought, his stomach turning.

“Fine! Let’s cure you of that first!” he declared in a menacing tone and, in the next instant, what had been a gentle touch become a pair of hands completely glued to his back.

Snow leaned forward again and practically jumped to his feet, or tried to. But the arm that quickly crossed in front of his chest swiftly pulled him back onto the ground, and against a large, warm hand. He cringed and tried to escape, but no matter what he did or how he moved, the hand on his back remained there, only slightly changing places from his shoulder-blades to the center of his back. Next he tried to get rid of the arm holding him down, pulling it away with all his strength, his feet uselessly scrapping the ground since he wasn’t able to get up. His breathing became increasingly fast and he bit down his lower lip to keep his voice contained. The more he was touched the creepiest he felt, a growing, irrational panic taking over his mind.

Suddenly he was pulled back and two strong arms surrounded him completely, locking him inside an unbreakable, tight embrace.

“Calm down …” a voice whisper over his head, his warm breath brushing his hair, and only then Snow noticed how cold it’d gotten, as if it were about to snow. “Take a deep breath and calm down …”

Forcing himself to listen to those words, Snow tried to obey them. The warmth against his back felt strangely comfortable and familiar, helping him relax, and then he knew why. He’d spent countless hours on horse back, much of that time leaning against that same warmth, and the awareness of that fact finally allowed him to push the fear away, the temperature around them immediately rising.

“Much better,” the voice sighed, allowing him the time to catch up his breath.

“If you’re okay with being hugged like this, why the fuck do you freak out when I touch you?” the monster demanded, impatient again, and Snow allowed himself to take a deep breath.

It wasn’t as if he was okay with being hugged. He didn’t like that either. Especially the fact that he knew all too well that he would never be able to get rid of those arms even if he wanted to. But the feeling of another's skin against his skin was an entire different matter.

When one of his arms slowly released him, Snow immediately knew what to expect. And then that hand was against his back again, making him cringe.

“I am not hurting you, see? Are you afraid I might hurt you?”

Snow shook his head.

“Then what are you afraid of? Speak!” He gave him a shake when Snow didn’t reply.

“I don’t know …”

“Do you hear how silly you sound?”

Snow nodded but his stomach still flipped nauseatingly when that hand slid across his back.

“Does the fact that I’m touching you remind you of things you don’t want to remember?”

Snow shook his head but immediately remembered that if he didn’t answer him with words he’d get mad again.

“No.”

“No?”

Snow shook his head again and the arm that held him down finally released him. Instead now there were two hands glued to his back, making him clench his fists to help him force himself to sit still.

“Much better.”

No! It wasn’t much better at all!, he shouted in his head, clenching his teeth, trying to put up with it. But after those hands had disgustingly slid up and down his back so many times he’d lost count, he could no longer deny those words. Not that it felt good, far from it. But somehow it was as if his mind had gone numb after being overly excited for so long. He just didn’t care anymore, he concluded with a sigh. The same way he had stopped caring if his customers were going to cut him, burn him or simply bite him.

Silvareiel

Gambatte Snow-chan!! ? This is a good practice for a lot of other things as well! ?