Ubren, the overseer of the Keepers Guild in Yorland, gave an impression of a war veteran with his calm but overwhelming presence. On top of that, he must have the largest set of muscles I’ve ever seen.

Feels like some special effects are on, staring at his biceps bulging and the veins pulsing. What did this guy eat to be this buff? Someone should check if he’s abusing steroids or not.

Currently, such a macho man was rubbing his beard affectionately with little Alice and Pip the stone boy. After he greeted his godchild Brigid, we introduced ourselves. He hugged the two children and acted like an amiable grandpa.

Brigid whispers to me about how this old man really dotes on kids. He frequents the local orphanages and all the kids address him as Grandpa Ubren. Even with his scary appearance, the kids all enjoy playing with him and listening to his adventures.

It also helps that he brings a huge Santa-like bag of candy every time. This old man doesn’t look like it, but he is quite crafty. I suppose being head of the Keepers would require more than just brawn.

Brigid is familiar with Ubren and explains how he was once married, but his wife died too quickly before she could bear children. Ubren was too stubborn and loyal that he became an eternal bachelor after that.

Even though deep down he wanted to have children of his own, he refused to get remarried to another woman. Being faithful to his late wife, he could only adopt children and patronize the orphanages around the city.

The big guy has a touching story, but apparently his constant nagging on Brigid to have children is driving her insane.

We pull Alice away but compromise and allow the bear-in-man’s-skin to cuddle with Pip. Seeing as Pip is not a real boy but a Golem, he’ll comply. Like a wooden puppet, Pip’s face remains expressionless while Ubren grooms his hair like he was a cat.

Ubren 「 So you’re friends of Brigid? And the matter of your rank has brought you here, has it? I do in fact have the ability to reevaluate any Keeper at my discretion. 」

Ubren puts down Pip and hands him a lollipop showing us the endearing smile of a doting grandfather.

Ubren 「 However, only under the assumption that your current abilities outstrip your rank, can a Keeper update their rank. Otherwise the guild would have to entertain any random Joe that disagrees with their ranks. This system was designed after thousands of trials and unnecessary losses… 」

The old man’s ramble continues on ad infinitum, where I wish my ears would bleed so I could drown it out. Maybe it’s true what they say, that old people love to hear their own voice.

Becca 「 In short, my rank update had better not be done on a whim. Which means it’s fine as long as I’m not bluffing? 」

Ubren 「 Essentially, yes. Can you guarantee that the guild’s time and resources won’t be wasted? 」

Becca 「 Well, have you heard of something like a guarantor? 」

Now is the time to show off the power of connections. I send a telepathic message to the Priestess Dionyss, asking if I could meet with her this instant. The telepathic message is really just a way of connecting the sound waves over long distances, sort of like a kids phone made of string and a pair of cups.

I picked up this little trick from Maeve, the resident psycho, when she used these eerie telepathic whispers to scare the girls during their horror movie night.

Dionyss seems pleasantly intrigued by my psychic call and responds in affirmation. So with that I warp to the Garden disappearing before Ubren’s eyes.

Seeing that we’re currently alone, Dionyss relaxes while slumped over a cushion on the table. She waves her hand at my apathetically.

Dionyss 「 Little Becks, you’re back so soon? Did you run into any troubles? 」

Becca 「 Not really, but I could use a guarantor to prove that my strength is adequate for a promotion. That way I can get another assessment with no hassle. 」

Dionyss 「 A guarantor? I haven’t been one ever since I started residing in the royal palace. Why not? I’ll be back in a jiffy. 」

During the downtime I wait for the priestess I scroll through my inventory menu and search for any decent gifts I can offer her. I’d like to keep good impressions but I don’t want to appear too calculating.

My inventory is a mess, as the endless storage is too convenient that I ended up throwing everything into it. Luckily the menu can sort out and categorize all of it. The menu lists all sorts of items from Earth and Arcoul, even weird things that I picked up like some scrap metal or undead monster bones.

The only reason I even keep these filthy bones is that Fu, the wolf puppy seems to fancy them. Not only that, but I can sense the mana in those bones is being partially absorbed. His fur is becoming snow white and a faint sheen can be seen.

Of course Lina suggested I sanitize the bones before giving them to him. That girl has the natural disposition of a caretaker. That would explain why I gave her healing skills instead of combat ones.

Granted, she can be a bit scary sometimes, particularly when me or the other girls fail to keep the living rooms tidy and clean. Her anger is the kind that simmers for a long time, to the point that you let your guard down. She’s like a vengeful spirit that possesses one’s mother.

Before you realize it, she’s already shrunk your clothes in the dryer, picked up expired milk and scratched the date off, and even flushed the toilet during your showers, all accidentally, as she so succinctly puts it.

So because of that I’ve thrown all sorts of trash and leftovers into my inventory, lest she catch me and condemn me to a slow oblivion. Looking through the list, my eyes stop at one item.

Is that… an entire pizza? When did I put that in there? Luckily the items stored in inventory have their time frozen so the pizza will still be fresh as the oven if I remove it.

I remember now that this pizza was from a week or so ago, when I was feeling the munchies and ordered some at our residence. I learned from previous experience that I should hide the pizza and receive it quietly.

The last time I had pizza the girls all jumped at it and devoured every slice in no time. This time I got the pizza but soon Lina and the rest came back home with some takeout so I had to hide the pizza in my inventory.

I must have forgotten about it and left it there all this time. I bet an alcoholic priestess like Dionyss would appreciate Earth’s culture and the delicacy of pizza served with beer.