The Thirty-First Reply - Seven Years Prior

To Sonia, of great social obligation, 

My heart contains enormous sympathies for you on the metaphorical eve of the upcoming Tchavarichli’s Ball, for such events are poison to my great sensibilities. I do not envy you for having to make preparations to engage with such social pomp and circumstance as a ball; having to dance, converse, and make pleasantries with a group of people I consider amongst the most disinteresting to speak with. Thus, at your request, and with the astute confidence of research, I shall present to you my best advice for navigating such treacherous waters. 

There are, broadly, three approaches, should you wish to survive the night. First, and requiring the least amount of effort while yielding the least social reward, is to not attend. This, of course, is obvious, as it solves the problem in its most direct form. The artform here is to prepare your absence in advance - a staunch refusal will be received as a political assault upon your host and cannot be truly considered a viable path forward. Therefore, you must come to a plausible excuse. I highly suggest cultivating a notion of yourself as a woman prone to illness, often sent under the weather with all manner of contagious affliction, with such commonality that it is a known fact of your life, but not so often that it seems suspicious. Three to four illnesses a year is the most you could reasonably get away with. A few days prior to the event, find some way to spread the news casually that you have come down with an illness, and state to the host you are making your greatest attempt to be better by the proper date. Upon the day of, coincidentally do not recover. 

Second, make your presence known well in the second stage of the party - do, in your mind, begin to divide a party into five stages (arrival, initiation, continuation, culmination, exeunt.) Make loud and enthusiastic conversation early, as the energy begins rising, and help set the tone for the evening as best you can. Come prepared with two or three exciting anecdotes, which do not necessarily need to be true. Pay the hosts lavish compliments. Dance in the first two rounds. Then, as the rhythm of the evening progresses, coast upon your success. If you have played the role diligently, you can leave midway through the third stage and everyone will still spend the evening recalling what pleasant company you are. 

And lastly, I consider the third to be the most work in initiation, but requires the least amount of maintenance. Cultivate an intriguing reputation. Whether this be for fantastical storytelling, mystifying public presence, eccentricity, or whatever you may conjure, it must be something which captures the minds of those simpler folks (which may be conceived of as everyone on this earth apart from you and I). Then, when you make an appearance at a party, your sheer presence is enough to do the work for you - gossip will spread, rumors will form, everyone will be talking about you, and it will require no further effort of yours to manage your social reputation. Since I have established myself as a detective and a woman of eccentric and eclectic tastes, I’ve not had to put any effort into generating social prestige - it is simply placed upon my lap as a laurel to coast on. 

I highly encourage the third, but any option is of great merit. 

Cordelia Jones